Best Intentions
Title: Best Intentions
Part Five
Author: rahram
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 977
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Last week I stubbed my toe, went to the hospital, found out the pain didn't even belong to me.
Warnings: None, yet. But I'll be sure to update it if there needs to be any as the fic unfolds.
Notes: Follows Dark Intentions.
Beta: Read and beta'd by the wonderful lycaness. You guys have her to thank for the lack of a lot of mistakes. However I did write on more of it after she sent it back, so the mistakes are either mine, or if you want you can blame Kira, I always do.
Summary: Three and a half years later, Jared's released from prison after getting early parole. He makes his way back to the house he apparently still owns, and to the three men who apparently still live there. With thoughts of Jensen continually running through out his mind, how is he supposed to get on with his life?
More of my fic can be found Here
| Part 1| | Part 2| | Part 3| | Part 4| |Part 5| | Part 6| | Part 7| | Part 8| | Part 9| | Part 10| | Part 11|
Jensen had climbed, fully clothed, into the shower with a very naked Jared, to help hold the man up. Throughout the whole ordeal, Jared seemed to be on a completely different planet, and it was all Jensen could do not to get his own clothes soaked. Since Jared was little more than dead weight, Jensen made sure it was quick shower, just long enough to wash the sweat residue off of the tall man, and cool his body down. After that, Jensen had wrestled him to the bed, before the younger man dozed off, Jensen got him dressed and situated in it before he moved to his bag he had brought with him to get some dry clothes.
“Fuck,” he mumbles lowly, as he stares at the bag filled with only dirty clothes. Without any other choice, he goes to the closet to take some of Jared’s clothes for himself, but pauses, mid-grab when he realizes that he’s staring at a closet full of the clothes Jared had bought him over three years ago. With a head filled with confusion, he grabs a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt. After closing the closet door, he turns and approaches the dresser that Jared had decided he could have when Jensen had first started staying in the bedroom all those years ago. Opening the first drawer Jensen stares blankly at the boxers that are still there. As he pulls a pair out he smells fabric softener and wonders not only why Jared kept the clothes, but why he washed them also. Jared hadn’t known he was going to be back, and as far as Jensen knew, Jared hadn’t been staying in the room before Jensen took it as his that first night when he returned to the house. Jensen knows that Jared’s too tall to fit into his clothes, so why were they washed? Jensen shakes his head to clear it and walks in the bathroom, shutting and locking the door, before he strips and steps into the shower stall. As he washes the sweat, caused from the nightmare, covers, and being in a steamy shower fully dressed, off of his skin, he thinks about the broken man he’d recently steadied under the shower head. Could Jared be broken worse than himself?
He dries off the water on his body with a fluffy blue towel, before pulling on his clothes and making his way towards the bed. Now on the opposite side of the bed then the man currently sleeping, Jensen reaches his hand out to pick up a pillow. “Hey,” Jared’s sleep torn voice mutters, as he grabs a hold of the shorter man’s wrist. “You okay?”
“Y-yeah…” he shutters, fear gripping his chest as he tries to pull his hand back.
“What’re you doing?” Jared asks, finally opening his eyes, and staring at a very frightened Jensen.
“Just getting a pillow so I can sleep on the couch…” Again Jensen tries to pull his hand back, “or I can just sleep without one.”
“You can sleep here.” Jared softly speaks, his own hand finally releasing Jensen’s.
“No, I really don’t think I can.” He snatches the pillow from the bed, and makes his way to the couch. As he shuts out the world and tries to sleep, he can still feel Jared’s eyes boring into his body.
Hours later, Jensen awakes lying on his back, on the uncomfortable couch. When he opens his eyes and glances to the bed, he notices that Jared’s awake, sitting up against the headboard, and looking at him. “Can we talk?”
Jensen continues to glare at the younger man, trying to figure out what he would even want to say to the man. Finally, he answers with a shake of his head, “No.”
“Please, Jensen,” Jared whispers. “You were screaming last night. You were screaming because I terrorized you,” he tells him, his voice getting stronger as he realizes the after affects of what he did to the man he’s come to care about.
“You didn’t do anything,” Jensen replies, his head bowed, his voice a little more than a whisper, his eyes never meeting those of Jared’s. “Landon did.”
“Because I took you. Because I raped you. Because I was selfish and didn’t want to leave that damn restaurant without you.” He began shouting, trying to make Jensen see just what Jared did to him.
“But you never really hurt me,” Jensen tells him, raising his hand to stop Jared when he goes to talk. “You were careful with me, even when I was nothing to you but another hole to fuck.” Shame builds up in his body, and with frustrated tears running down his face, Jensen moves from the couch and escapes into the hallway. He can’t let Jared see the disgrace, because, he knows that Jared will realize that even though he had tried to break him, he had also made Jensen care for him. Jensen knows beyond a shadow of doubt that he can never allow Jared to see that he cares for him. That’s only asking the past to repeat itself, and Jensen’s not sure he’s strong enough to make it out alive a second time.
Jared watches the shorter man run like a cornered animal who was finally giving an opportunity to escape. His heart begs him to follow, but his head knows that Jensen needs his space. Still, Jensen’s last words loop in his mind. Does Jensen think that after Jared had started sharing his bed, his house, his life with him that all Jared thought Jensen was, was only a convenient hole to fuck? That thought had left him long before Jensen began to take up half the space in his bedroom, and the whole of his life. It left as soon as Jensen made him care about something other than the job.
Part Five
Author: rahram
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: 977
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Last week I stubbed my toe, went to the hospital, found out the pain didn't even belong to me.
Warnings: None, yet. But I'll be sure to update it if there needs to be any as the fic unfolds.
Notes: Follows Dark Intentions.
Beta: Read and beta'd by the wonderful lycaness. You guys have her to thank for the lack of a lot of mistakes. However I did write on more of it after she sent it back, so the mistakes are either mine, or if you want you can blame Kira, I always do.
Summary: Three and a half years later, Jared's released from prison after getting early parole. He makes his way back to the house he apparently still owns, and to the three men who apparently still live there. With thoughts of Jensen continually running through out his mind, how is he supposed to get on with his life?
More of my fic can be found Here
| Part 1| | Part 2| | Part 3| | Part 4| |Part 5| | Part 6| | Part 7| | Part 8| | Part 9| | Part 10| | Part 11|
Jensen had climbed, fully clothed, into the shower with a very naked Jared, to help hold the man up. Throughout the whole ordeal, Jared seemed to be on a completely different planet, and it was all Jensen could do not to get his own clothes soaked. Since Jared was little more than dead weight, Jensen made sure it was quick shower, just long enough to wash the sweat residue off of the tall man, and cool his body down. After that, Jensen had wrestled him to the bed, before the younger man dozed off, Jensen got him dressed and situated in it before he moved to his bag he had brought with him to get some dry clothes.
“Fuck,” he mumbles lowly, as he stares at the bag filled with only dirty clothes. Without any other choice, he goes to the closet to take some of Jared’s clothes for himself, but pauses, mid-grab when he realizes that he’s staring at a closet full of the clothes Jared had bought him over three years ago. With a head filled with confusion, he grabs a pair of sweats and a white t-shirt. After closing the closet door, he turns and approaches the dresser that Jared had decided he could have when Jensen had first started staying in the bedroom all those years ago. Opening the first drawer Jensen stares blankly at the boxers that are still there. As he pulls a pair out he smells fabric softener and wonders not only why Jared kept the clothes, but why he washed them also. Jared hadn’t known he was going to be back, and as far as Jensen knew, Jared hadn’t been staying in the room before Jensen took it as his that first night when he returned to the house. Jensen knows that Jared’s too tall to fit into his clothes, so why were they washed? Jensen shakes his head to clear it and walks in the bathroom, shutting and locking the door, before he strips and steps into the shower stall. As he washes the sweat, caused from the nightmare, covers, and being in a steamy shower fully dressed, off of his skin, he thinks about the broken man he’d recently steadied under the shower head. Could Jared be broken worse than himself?
He dries off the water on his body with a fluffy blue towel, before pulling on his clothes and making his way towards the bed. Now on the opposite side of the bed then the man currently sleeping, Jensen reaches his hand out to pick up a pillow. “Hey,” Jared’s sleep torn voice mutters, as he grabs a hold of the shorter man’s wrist. “You okay?”
“Y-yeah…” he shutters, fear gripping his chest as he tries to pull his hand back.
“What’re you doing?” Jared asks, finally opening his eyes, and staring at a very frightened Jensen.
“Just getting a pillow so I can sleep on the couch…” Again Jensen tries to pull his hand back, “or I can just sleep without one.”
“You can sleep here.” Jared softly speaks, his own hand finally releasing Jensen’s.
“No, I really don’t think I can.” He snatches the pillow from the bed, and makes his way to the couch. As he shuts out the world and tries to sleep, he can still feel Jared’s eyes boring into his body.
Hours later, Jensen awakes lying on his back, on the uncomfortable couch. When he opens his eyes and glances to the bed, he notices that Jared’s awake, sitting up against the headboard, and looking at him. “Can we talk?”
Jensen continues to glare at the younger man, trying to figure out what he would even want to say to the man. Finally, he answers with a shake of his head, “No.”
“Please, Jensen,” Jared whispers. “You were screaming last night. You were screaming because I terrorized you,” he tells him, his voice getting stronger as he realizes the after affects of what he did to the man he’s come to care about.
“You didn’t do anything,” Jensen replies, his head bowed, his voice a little more than a whisper, his eyes never meeting those of Jared’s. “Landon did.”
“Because I took you. Because I raped you. Because I was selfish and didn’t want to leave that damn restaurant without you.” He began shouting, trying to make Jensen see just what Jared did to him.
“But you never really hurt me,” Jensen tells him, raising his hand to stop Jared when he goes to talk. “You were careful with me, even when I was nothing to you but another hole to fuck.” Shame builds up in his body, and with frustrated tears running down his face, Jensen moves from the couch and escapes into the hallway. He can’t let Jared see the disgrace, because, he knows that Jared will realize that even though he had tried to break him, he had also made Jensen care for him. Jensen knows beyond a shadow of doubt that he can never allow Jared to see that he cares for him. That’s only asking the past to repeat itself, and Jensen’s not sure he’s strong enough to make it out alive a second time.
Jared watches the shorter man run like a cornered animal who was finally giving an opportunity to escape. His heart begs him to follow, but his head knows that Jensen needs his space. Still, Jensen’s last words loop in his mind. Does Jensen think that after Jared had started sharing his bed, his house, his life with him that all Jared thought Jensen was, was only a convenient hole to fuck? That thought had left him long before Jensen began to take up half the space in his bedroom, and the whole of his life. It left as soon as Jensen made him care about something other than the job.