LJ Idol Season 9, Episode 14: Confessions From The Chair

[dreamsreflected]

You see a lot of weird stuff as a barber, people tell you their secrets, they confess their sins. Like a priest or a bartender or any other type of amateur therapy job, barbers hear and see some weird stuff, after 45 years in the business Jake had figured he'd seen and heard just about everything, that is until he met the stranger from down south

Comments

[anyonesghost]

This sounds like the sort of story barbers tell, so I believe it. Maybe not necessarily them, but the story itself rings true. :-) The voice is well done, and it flows well. My only suggestion would be to be mindful of commas -- there are a few places where you have full sentences joined together by commas, instead of broken apart by a full stop or semicolon. It might knock some readers out of the rhythm, is all.

Nice job, and good luck this week!

[whipchick]

This is such a fun 'old-timey' story!

[zhent]

Good little story!

[jem0000000]

What an interesting story -- it must have been awkward, cutting around, but I can certainly see Mr. Crow's point.

[waltzmatildah]

I like the idea that this is based on a true story at some point...! So I'ma go with that!

Nice entry :)