Falling Towards Light 16-20

Dec 04, 2006 04:53

Sorry for the delay!

16. Purple )

between 0 and 500 words, yame, 100_original

Leave a comment

Comments 2

michael_collins December 4 2006, 05:15:43 UTC
I am highly impressed with all of these. The last one threw me off because of the writing...

I think it should be "Love is not something...", in keeping with the voice and the grammar of the next fragment. "For Kelly" instead of "If you asked Kelly," .... and maybe get rid of some of the run-on nature of the rest of the paragraph.

Pretty much all of the rest of it was written very professionally, I thought.

Reply

dreams_power December 4 2006, 05:26:37 UTC
Good point. Will correct that now.

Thank you! ^.^ Feel free to read whatever else catches your eye.

Reply


Leave a comment

Up