Chase the Sun, Prolouge
This is a WIP
This is my stunning icon for this Fic and it was made by the wonderful drowcons
Chase the Sun
Burningchaos
Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG1 Crossover
Past Sheppard/McKay, McKay/Mitchell
FRM
Warnings: Character death, severe description of depression.
Disclaimer: Neither Stargate nor Stargate Atlantis belong to me. I am making no money.
This is for Drow, Shippygem and Darkmoon711
Banner made by from_the_corner
Prologue
Rodney sat in his car, well, the car he had borrowed and pulled over less than ten minutes outside of the base. The trees and road that should have seemed familiar were more alien to him than any world he had been to in recent years. He had felt crowded and trapped by the commotion and noise the second he stepped outside. The air lacked the salty smell he had grown to love. Instead, the thick cloying scent of pollution was choking his every breath. The sky was too pale and the trees not green enough. In Pegasus, every color lept out to greet you.
The Earth was a watercolor, where as Pegasus was painted in oils.
He was ‘home’ on his ‘vacation’, his first since the Daedalus had arrived three years ago. He didn’t want to be here. Not like this. Rodney leaned his head on the steering wheel and, as he took a deep breath, pain lanced through him. Damn it. Ribs, ribs, ribs…no deep breaths for a while.
The fight to stay in Atlantis hadn’t lasted long at all. In fact, it had been frighteningly easy to force him to leave. Rodney hadn’t been anywhere near his best when Kate, Carson, Elizabeth and Caldwell had teamed up on him. In all reality it was Kate who had told Caldwell and Elizabeth to force him to leave, ‘broken’ was the word she used. Yeah, so send him to Earth for two weeks and expect him to be normal when he returned. The mere thought of being ‘normal’ again had him shaking. Post-traumatic stress he had been told. Carson was in on all this too. Rodney wouldn’t forget it either. He had a long shit list and it was getting longer every second.
Rodney snorted at the thought, than winced in pain as he quickly realized that snorting was as bad as taking a deep breath. His body continued to ache as he pulled the car back onto the road. Nothing was ever going to be the same again.
~*~
Three days, three days with room service, television and access to almost anything he wanted. Except the one thing he really, really wanted. Make that two things he really wanted.
Rodney scratched the stitches in his arm and side, wincing as he did. He couldn’t understand how this was going to help him heal. He had no one to call, no one he wanted to even if he did. He was sitting alone in a motel room. It wasn’t even a good room. It’s garish colors and flower print bedspread gave the room a distinctly seventies look. He wanted to go home.
Carefully, Rodney braced his ribs with one hand and used the free one to pull himself up. He had no work, and the lack of activity was driving him insane. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t even close his eyes. Every time he did the accident played out in his mind repeatedly.
Moving as quickly as his battered body would allow Rodney went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He was at a total loss. He couldn’t seem to focus on anything but what he had done wrong.
Looking into the mirror, Rodney realized the face staring back at him now belonged to a stranger. It was thin and pallid, with half-healed cuts and abrasions scattered over his forehead and cheeks. He stared a moment longer, running his hand over each bruise, tracing them slowly as if they weren’t part of him. As he did this rage, swift and powerful, rushed though him. Destroying what little control he had.
Without thought to his ribs or stitches, Rodney punched his reflection. He felt it shatter and the shards sunk into his skin. Blood ran in thin rivulets down his hand as he turned it over to look at the damage. Laughter, hysterical and mixed with sobs ripped it’s way out of him.
Rodney staggered back. This was it. This is where he fell apart.
Part of him knew John wouldn’t have wanted this. He wouldn’t want Rodney to grieve this way. But John wasn’t here now. He was gone.
John was gone and that was the only thought that Rodney could focus on. It was all he could do to get out of bed every morning. He took every breath knowing it was him, not John who should have died. Every second of the day he saw and felt John’s bloody, broken body as if it were still growing cold in his arms. He wanted nothing more than to wake up and discover all this was a terrible nightmare. It wasn’t, and Rodney knew it because it hurt to much to be anything but real.
He could never heal like this, and he would never be able to walk around Atlantis without looking for John. Two weeks wouldn’t be enough. A lifetime might not be. Atlantis and John were irrevocable tied together.
Which meant he couldn’t go back. Ever.
~*~
Rodney didn’t return to the SGC after his two-week ‘vacation’ was up. He didn’t call anyone, he didn’t leave any letters or e-mails. Landry and O’Neill used up favors and called in markers but it was no use. Doctor Rodney McKay had emptied his considerable bank account, sold anything he still owned and cashed in all his stocks; then quietly disappeared.
However, he had left behind all the money John left him.
This is my stunning icon for this Fic and it was made by the wonderful drowcons
Chase the Sun
Burningchaos
Stargate Atlantis/Stargate SG1 Crossover
Past Sheppard/McKay, McKay/Mitchell
FRM
Warnings: Character death, severe description of depression.
Disclaimer: Neither Stargate nor Stargate Atlantis belong to me. I am making no money.
This is for Drow, Shippygem and Darkmoon711
Banner made by from_the_corner
Prologue
Rodney sat in his car, well, the car he had borrowed and pulled over less than ten minutes outside of the base. The trees and road that should have seemed familiar were more alien to him than any world he had been to in recent years. He had felt crowded and trapped by the commotion and noise the second he stepped outside. The air lacked the salty smell he had grown to love. Instead, the thick cloying scent of pollution was choking his every breath. The sky was too pale and the trees not green enough. In Pegasus, every color lept out to greet you.
The Earth was a watercolor, where as Pegasus was painted in oils.
He was ‘home’ on his ‘vacation’, his first since the Daedalus had arrived three years ago. He didn’t want to be here. Not like this. Rodney leaned his head on the steering wheel and, as he took a deep breath, pain lanced through him. Damn it. Ribs, ribs, ribs…no deep breaths for a while.
The fight to stay in Atlantis hadn’t lasted long at all. In fact, it had been frighteningly easy to force him to leave. Rodney hadn’t been anywhere near his best when Kate, Carson, Elizabeth and Caldwell had teamed up on him. In all reality it was Kate who had told Caldwell and Elizabeth to force him to leave, ‘broken’ was the word she used. Yeah, so send him to Earth for two weeks and expect him to be normal when he returned. The mere thought of being ‘normal’ again had him shaking. Post-traumatic stress he had been told. Carson was in on all this too. Rodney wouldn’t forget it either. He had a long shit list and it was getting longer every second.
Rodney snorted at the thought, than winced in pain as he quickly realized that snorting was as bad as taking a deep breath. His body continued to ache as he pulled the car back onto the road. Nothing was ever going to be the same again.
~*~
Three days, three days with room service, television and access to almost anything he wanted. Except the one thing he really, really wanted. Make that two things he really wanted.
Rodney scratched the stitches in his arm and side, wincing as he did. He couldn’t understand how this was going to help him heal. He had no one to call, no one he wanted to even if he did. He was sitting alone in a motel room. It wasn’t even a good room. It’s garish colors and flower print bedspread gave the room a distinctly seventies look. He wanted to go home.
Carefully, Rodney braced his ribs with one hand and used the free one to pull himself up. He had no work, and the lack of activity was driving him insane. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t even close his eyes. Every time he did the accident played out in his mind repeatedly.
Moving as quickly as his battered body would allow Rodney went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He was at a total loss. He couldn’t seem to focus on anything but what he had done wrong.
Looking into the mirror, Rodney realized the face staring back at him now belonged to a stranger. It was thin and pallid, with half-healed cuts and abrasions scattered over his forehead and cheeks. He stared a moment longer, running his hand over each bruise, tracing them slowly as if they weren’t part of him. As he did this rage, swift and powerful, rushed though him. Destroying what little control he had.
Without thought to his ribs or stitches, Rodney punched his reflection. He felt it shatter and the shards sunk into his skin. Blood ran in thin rivulets down his hand as he turned it over to look at the damage. Laughter, hysterical and mixed with sobs ripped it’s way out of him.
Rodney staggered back. This was it. This is where he fell apart.
Part of him knew John wouldn’t have wanted this. He wouldn’t want Rodney to grieve this way. But John wasn’t here now. He was gone.
John was gone and that was the only thought that Rodney could focus on. It was all he could do to get out of bed every morning. He took every breath knowing it was him, not John who should have died. Every second of the day he saw and felt John’s bloody, broken body as if it were still growing cold in his arms. He wanted nothing more than to wake up and discover all this was a terrible nightmare. It wasn’t, and Rodney knew it because it hurt to much to be anything but real.
He could never heal like this, and he would never be able to walk around Atlantis without looking for John. Two weeks wouldn’t be enough. A lifetime might not be. Atlantis and John were irrevocable tied together.
Which meant he couldn’t go back. Ever.
~*~
Rodney didn’t return to the SGC after his two-week ‘vacation’ was up. He didn’t call anyone, he didn’t leave any letters or e-mails. Landry and O’Neill used up favors and called in markers but it was no use. Doctor Rodney McKay had emptied his considerable bank account, sold anything he still owned and cashed in all his stocks; then quietly disappeared.
However, he had left behind all the money John left him.