Toys and Gender Roles

[dreamchain17]

So at work on Monday I learned from George, one of the managers, we have this bin of toys that we can draw from to bring to tables of kids. Toward the end of my shift I had a table with one boy and one girl, and went back there to pick some stuff out. The thing that drew my eye first was this huge toy car, one of the ones that runs forward if you

Comments

[insaint]

I don't think it matters. But, to turn the argument around a little... what if the girl LIKES makeup? It's not up to you to decide she shouldn't have it because you don't think it's appropriate or perpetuates some "role".

If she wants the car and the boy wants the makeup, I'm sure they'll work out a trade, even at 6 years old. :P

[dreamchain17]

I considered that. But I mean... the whole POINT of makeup is to sexualize the body. I don't think handing makeup to a 6-year-old sexualizes HER, in that I don't think eye makeup makes her more of a sexual object to society, but it's training/socializing her for use as an adult/teen, when it absolutely will sexualize her.

(Which is not to say I see anything wrong with adults of either sex using makeup. But I think that's quite different from training a six-year-old to think her play time should be used applying makeup, or focused on her appearance, or modifying her body, when in a few years she'll understand the focus of makeup in her adult role and already have these associations with it.)

While it's not up to me to determine what toys she does and does not play with, it is absolutely up to me what roles and culture that *I* choose to perpetuate, and that was my whole issue with essentially waltzing up to the table and sending the message, "Here you go, play with a car and be active! Oh and you, make yourself prettier."

[insaint]

it is absolutely up to me what roles and culture that *I* choose to perpetuate

While that's absolutely true, I'd say that this situation is less about you and more about what a little girl would enjoy. I agree with Dani -- if you have the opportunity to do so, bring them a few toys to pick from.

Beyond that, your pick is a just a best guess even at best of times. I personally don't view make-up as a manifestation of a harmful gender stereotype, so YMM naturally V.

[castlemew]

I don't feel like "girls like to feel pretty" has a direct, causal link to "girls are told they must be skinny, white, and blond, with straight teeth, the hottest shoes and the makeup gun set to whore if they want to be pretty." The restrictive way that the media represents beauty is a problem; people wanting to find ways to FEEL beautiful is not a problem

[castlemew]

Makeup toys are awesome if your brothers hold still.

And I think I'm a pretty good example of how playing with makeup doesn't necessarily mean you will think your play time must be spent applying makeup. I played house when I was little, but I also played Power Rangers and Sonic the Hedgehog and baseball and street hockey.

So I'm still going with my initial strategy, sort of agreeing with Alery above... bring a selection of toys for kids to pick from themselves if you have the time to do so. If a little girl reaches for makeup and her parents don't care, it's not really your place to tell her she CAN'T have it.

[ager_sanguinis]

I think it's good that you considered that. I also think it's important to offer choice-- in the case of the toy you gave to the boy and the girl, you could have brought them four toys, 2 "male" and 2 "female," and let them pick between the two.

So yeah, echoing the people who say choice is good.

[dreamchain17]

I thought about that after what Alery and Danielle said. That also works out pretty well because it gives the kids a chance to pick cross-gender toys, but the parents will assume, if they're the strict gender roles type, I was just giving their daughter 2 options and their son 2 options. Everybody wins.

Unless they want the same toy. :x

[yumesekai]

I wouldn't bring a gender identifying toy. Or I wouldn't think about it. I'd stick my hand in and whatever came out would be good stuff. Kids aren't picky. Also, if I found it that disconcerting I would donate some of my old toys ._. I have a bunch of old teddy and macdonald toys, or I'd stick with colouring books.