fic: Sweet Steel
Title: Sweet Steel
Ship: Brad Bell/Adam Lambert, Kris Allen/Adam Lambert friendship
Word Count: 4000
Rating: R
Warnings: Swearing. Voyeurism (only heard, not seen). Scarring of homophobes.
Summary: Originally written for the ontd_ai kink meme. Kris has an interesting experience on the tour bus, and Gokey & Sarver get what's coming to them.
Disclaimer: This is NOT REAL LIFE. This is a work of fiction, written for entertainment purposes only, and the author is not making any money off of it.
Kris stifled a yawn. It wasn’t that late yet - he’d just come into the tour bus from outside, and it had only been dusk out there - but headaches always made him sleepy, and boy did he have a doozy of a headache. Plus, there was the whole constant time-zone-changing thing. He honestly didn’t have an idea how many hours he’d gained and lost over the past few weeks. For all he knew, his internal clock could be at midnight right now, even though it was probably about 9.
Mostly, though, Kris thought it was the headache, since he was pretty sure they were somewhere in Middle America right now, so no wide time swings either way. Well, the headache, and probably the stress and frustration of having to deal with Sarver and Gokey all the time. Sarver hadn’t really been around long enough during the actual show to begin to grate on him, but he’d sure been making up for lost time recently. He and Gokey were joined at the hip, and Gokey’s behavior had begun to steadily deteriorate as well; when Kris felt like being charitable, he chalked it up to Gokey feeling left out from the others’ groups and thus gravitating to someone he found familiar and comfortingly confident.
But Kris felt less and less like being charitable these days. If Sarver made one more snide remark in Adam’s direction, with Gokey trying to hide his snigger in the background, Kris was going to deck him. Interestingly, it was always Adam who held him back with a quick warning “Kris!” or a simple cautioning hand. He’d asked Adam once why Adam didn’t just let him deal with the issue once and for all, but Adam had just said that violence never made anything better and Sarver would never change his mind anyway. Plus, Adam had added, part of Sarver’s behavior was probably just trying to get attention, and if he was ignored he would eventually stop.
Kris suddenly realized he was still standing by the entrance to the bus, slumped against the supporting wall. Might as well just go to bed, he thought. Everyone else was still out at dinner. The girls’ bus had apparently driven through some dropped nails or something, and blown two of its tires. The Idols had immediately taken the opportunity to escape their wheeled prisons and go out to dinner. (Well, all except Adam, who’d pleaded an upset stomach, and now Kris, who’d left the party after only an hour because of the sudden onset of this headache.) Their handlers had sighed and told them to be back by 11, when they’d get back on the road.
Adam was probably asleep by now, Kris thought, what with his upset stomach and all. Then again, maybe it was keeping him up. Adam did usually have more problems falling asleep than Kris did. Kris should head back to their stacked bunks and check on him: if he was awake, Kris would keep him company, and if he was asleep Kris would hit the sack as well.
Kris was halfway down the aisle, wending his way past everyone else’s bunks, when he suddenly froze. Besides himself, Adam should be the only person on this bus, right?
That had not been Adam’s voice.
He listened carefully, but the voice did not immediately speak again. After a moment, he shrugged. It had been coming from the general direction of Adam’s bunk - maybe Adam was talking to someone on speakerphone. Odd, but nothing to get spooked at. He decided to attribute his reaction to just the kinda creepy deserted feeling of the empty bus.
Arriving at his bunk, he stopped himself just in time from his customary hearty flop onto the bed, remembering his headache and gingerly easing himself down instead. That felt good. His pillow was cool under his slightly flushed forehead, and his head felt a little better all ready. Maybe he’d forget about keeping Adam company, dude obviously had his phone conversation, and Kris was already drifting off…mmm, soft bed…too tired to even get under the covers…hot in here anyway…sleeeeep…
He jerked awake again abruptly, hand flying to his suddenly racing heart. What had woken him?
Then he heard it. A moan, from the bunk above him. A quivery, long moan.
His immediate reaction was concern. Poor Adam, his stomach must really be bothering him. Having lived in close quarters with another person before, Kris’s second reaction was more pragmatic - he really hoped Adam hadn’t fallen asleep and then woken up vomiting all over his bed. Katy had done that once and it had been really disgusting. Worst thing was, when Katy had done it she’d been so sick and woebegone, Kris really hadn’t felt that it was fair to make her clean up after herself, so he’d done it. He was not going to do that for Adam though…he was above using his celebrity for most things, but in this case the handlers could find somebody else to strip Adam’s bed and clean up the mess.
Even so, Kris had a leg already swung out of bed, ready to climb up the ladder and see if he could get Adam a glass of water or something, when the moan was repeated. This time, however, it didn’t stop with a simple moan.
“Ohhhhh, fuuuuuuck, Adam,” the voice moaned, long and drawn out. “Right there, baby, right there...ohhhhh, fuuuuck, ohhhhhh fuuuuck…”
Kris sat frozen, half in bed and half out of bed for a very long moment. The moaning - no, he’d definitely call it keening now - was not stopping, and actually seemed to be getting a little louder.
It took a stuttering, low “oh, fuck” from a second voice - and Kris’ entire body seemed to flush as he recognized it as Adam’s - to pull Kris from his stupor and propel him onto his feet and down the aisle back toward the door. Reaching the end bunk-bed, he sat down on the bottom one as quietly as he could. He didn’t know whether to hope the two in Adam’s bed had heard him or to hope they hadn’t. If they had, he would be embarrassed for life, but if they hadn’t they were likely to finish eventually - oh, shit, finish - and then they would see him when they went to leave.
They didn’t seem to have heard him, though. The sounds from the back of the bus seemed only to have gotten louder - if they’d been this loud when Kris had arrived, he’d have definitely heard them and probably turned around and gone back to the party - and Kris wasn’t sure, but he thought the bunk might be moving.
Kris thunked his head into the bedpost, softly, then groaned as his head reminded him it wasn’t finished with him yet. He should have realized Adam’s “upset stomach” was code for “Brad’s waiting for me at our next tour stop and it’s only a half-hour away from here so I’m going to stay in and have sex with him in my bunk while you guys go to dinner.” At least, that’s what Kris assumed was going on. He had a brief wild thought of Adam hiding his boyfriend under Kris’ bed, but that was illogical. Brad was small, but there wasn’t enough room under there for Kris to hide, and they called him the Midget.
It wasn’t that he resented Adam having sex, he told himself. Not at all. Actually he was glad, because Adam seemed to get more and more highly-strung, the longer he went without sex. This whole monogamous-but-separated-from-your-partner thing was tough on them all, though they showed it in different ways. Kris got more and more sarcastic, Matt got morose sometimes, Adam got a little manic.
Besides, Adam being back together with Brad had made him so happy. Kris wasn’t really clear on the whole story, just that Drake had broken up with Adam right before the tour, saying simply that the famous life wasn’t for him, sorry, and Adam had moped for a couple days and then shrugged it off, and then they’d been backstage at some tour stop and they’d come around a corner and there was Brad. Just standing there, looking at Adam. And Kris had had to catch his breath, because Brad’s face and eyes were so eloquent, just staring at Adam, and Kris didn’t know Brad well at all but he saw love and peace and longing and insecurity and a twist of something wry, all wrapped up together. And he knew Adam, next to him, had seen it too, because there was a stillness where Adam’s breathing had been a moment before, and then Adam’s breath whooshed out again in the single word, “Brad.” And it wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a statement, it was a promise and a declaration and a shudder. And Kris was never sure afterward whether Adam or Brad had moved first, but he blinked and they were in each other’s arms, not kissing or speaking or doing anything really, just holding each other as if they’d never let each other go again.
Anyway, that had been a month ago, and overall, Kris would definitely say that Adam having sex was a good thing. Adam had always been a pretty sunny-natured guy, but lately it had reached a whole other level. It was just the whole “having it right over my head” thing, making him feel like a voyeur, that bothered Kris. And that wasn’t Adam’s fault either - Kris was supposed to have been out with the others for a while yet, and would have been, if this headache hadn’t ambushed him.
Also, he was a male, after all. Moaning and movement and all that jazz right over his head made a certain part of his anatomy sit up and start paying attention. Which wasn’t such a good thing because, first, best friend involved, and second, wife, and third, wife not around to alleviate problem.
Brad’s moaning hadn’t stopped. Just gotten louder, longer, like a mantra. In a certain dispassionate corner of his mind not currently being assailed by his headache, Kris spared room to be faintly surprised. Not that he’d thought much about Adam having sex - oh shit, mental images - but inasmuch as he had thought about it, he would have thought Adam was a more “wham, bang” kind of guy - you know, fast, hard, overpowering. The slow, drawn-out moans coming from Brad, punctuated by Adam’s own distinctive voice, weren’t like that at all. If Katy had been here, she would have said it was the difference between the sound of fucking and the sound of making love…
Thinking of Katy made Kris remember the position he was in. Shit, Kris was getting way too turned on by this. He shifted, thunking his head against the bedpost again by accident. Maybe he should go back to the party, despite his headache. That would serve the double purpose of keeping the other guys away from the bus for a while and getting him out of earshot of those two. Katy was coming to the next tour stop, wasn’t she, and then they could sneak away for some time on their own? He tried desperately to remember what the next tour stop was again. He’d been so good at the beginning of the tour, but pretty soon he’d lost track.
He pulled himself out of the bed he’d appropriated and crept toward the door, not wanting to alert the duo now that he had decided to leave them in peace, although he rather doubted anything would alert them at the moment. A look out the door, however, made him realize that his plans would need to be adjusted.
As if this situation wasn’t awkward enough already, Sarver and Gokey, the terrible twosome, were rapidly approaching the bus.
Kris thought for a quick moment. He could get out of the bus and try to talk them into going back to the party. Without knowing why they were coming back by themselves, he didn’t know if that would work, but they were both really eager to be his friends so he thought it would. They had some idea of winning him away from Adam’s “seditious influence,” as Gokey had inarticulately put it one day (he was pretty sure Gokey had meant pernicious), and back to the “side of the Lord,” as Sarver was fond of saying. (Kris was pretty sure the Lord liked the side Kris was currently on just fine.)
Thinking about the two’s thinly veiled homophobia was enough to start Kris’s blood on a slow boil. He almost cast a quick glance around for Adam’s restraining hand, it was so common these days, but remembered just in time where Adam was and what Adam was doing. No help there; he was going to have to restrain himself all by himself.
Sighing, he went quietly down the steps and out the doors, intercepting Sarver and Gokey a short distance away. “Hey guys! My headache’s gone away a bit. How about going back to the party?”
Gokey’s head snapped up, awkward eagerness in his eyes. “Sure! Hey Mike, we should go back with Kris, don’t you think?” His glance flickered up toward the bus. “Adam’s stomach still sick, then? He won’t be coming with us?”
“Uh…yeah, he won’t be coming with us,” Kris settled on. He didn’t like outright lying, but although he strongly suspected Adam’s stomach had always been right as rain, there was certainly no falsehood in saying Adam wasn’t coming with them. Although, half-hard as he was, “coming” sounded dirty…shit, he needed to get his mind out of the gutter.
Sarver, though, was shaking his head in what Kris privately called the “Sarver Shake”, which was characterized by being slightly stupid, douche-y, and obstinate. “No, Danny my man, remember why we left in the first place. Anoop and Matt were starting up the ungodly dancing. I’m sure Kris does not want to see that.”
“Ungodly dancing?” Kris raised an eyebrow. “You mean dirty dancing?”
Gokey shifted his weight from one foot to the other, awkwardly. Sarver frowned. “Ungodly,” he repeated, with finality. “Think on the good things, think on what is holy.”
“…Okay,” Kris said. He wondered if it had been a repeat of that stripper pole they’d had at that one party Paula had come to with them, right before tour, and if so why a stripper pole was at a dinner place. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. “But…uh…maybe they’ve stopped by now? Or we could…uh…go shopping! I’ve been meaning to pick up something for Katy.”
“I think the shops are probably closed,” Gokey said, with a bit of regret in his voice. He really did seem to like hanging out with Kris, for some reason. “It’s kind of late, and I think we’re kind of in the middle of nowhere.”
Sarver, meanwhile, was looking at Kris with an oddly calculating gaze. “Actually, I know something we could do.”
“You do?” Gokey was perky again.
“Yeah?” Kris asked.
“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while, actually. I know it can be difficult, being young and being in a new place an’ all, and I just thought we might be able to get together and look at God’s Word together - just you, me, an’ Danny. You know, sometimes things get clouded, if you haven’t been reading the Word often enough, and we’re here to be your brothers in your time of need.” Sarver looked quite pleased with himself, and even reached out and patted Kris’s shoulder.
“My…time of need?” Kris was seriously confused. For a moment the slightly pompous phrase reminded him of Katy’s coy “Kris, it’s, you know, my time of the month,” and okay, this evening was getting completely bizarre.
“My pastor has told me that it is difficult for many young people out there in the world,” Sarver explained, or thought he explained.
Kris shot his eyes over to Gokey for help.
Gokey looked a little uncomfortable, but mostly still eager. “You know, the world is very seductive. It makes a lot of sense sometimes to us. We need to remember what the truth is so we can resist the world.” His eyes flickered up to the tour bus.
And suddenly Kris understood what they were getting at. And suddenly he was beyond pissed.
He controlled his voice with an effort. “Oh, you’re talking about homosexuality. I see now.”
Gokey nodded. Sarver said, “We are famous now. We have to be good role models. I know it is hard to resist the world, especially when you have to be around Him all the time. But of course God says that They are to be put to death for doing It, and that may not be allowed in America today but we should not pretend like It is okay. And…”
Sarver went on, but Kris no longer heard him over the rushing in his head. For Kris could hear the capitals in his voice, and his blood was boiling and Adam wasn't there to pull him away, not there to quietly turn the other cheek to Sarver, living Jesus’s teachings as Sarver seemed incapable of, and he wanted to open his mouth and call Sarver out…
But Sarver was pulling away, moving past Kris, toward the steps of the tour bus, saying something about getting his Bible, to point out chapter and verse probably. And Kris sprung after him, but he was too late.
Sarver was ahead of him, Gokey behind, as they all three spilled into the tour bus. Sarver immediately plopped down on his bunk - which, blessedly, was the one nearest the front - and started rummaging around under his pillow, presumably for his Bible. He was oblivious to anything going on around him, like usual. Kris listened, half-hysterically, but the back of the bus was quiet.
Gokey pushed past him, reached up to his own bunk above Sarver’s to grab his own Bible, and then flopped down next to Sarver. Kris sat slowly, numb, on Matt’s bunk, putting his own body between them and the back of the bus.
And then he heard the moan.
It was quiet, and it wasn’t repeated right away. But Kris now knew that Adam and Brad weren’t done, and that they either hadn’t heard the three in the front of the bus - granted, it was a pretty long bus, and there was a living/kitchen area halfway down that made it longer - or they didn’t care.
Gokey looked over at him. “See, right here. Leviticus 18:22 says ‘You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.’”
Sarver, cutting over him, remorseless, dry: “Leviticus 20:13 - ‘If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.’”
And Kris suddenly simply did not care anymore. One part of him wanted to argue with them, talk about how Jesus brought a new Covenant with him to wash away the old one, try to win them over to a new understanding and focus on God’s love, figure out some way to show them how he could be a devout Christian and yet believe homosexuality is not a sin. Another part of him, much louder, shouting its way past the blood rushing in his ears and the headache pounding at his temples, wanted to deck Sarver and then Gokey if Gokey didn’t flee first.
Another quiet moan came from the back of the bus.
This time, Gokey heard it. His head whipped around. “What was that?”
And Kris’s conflicting urges suddenly coalesced. Cold fury, hot anger, exasperated indignation, all came together.
He smiled, slowly, lazily, wickedly. “What was what?”
Brad moaned on cue.
Sarver looked up, wrinkling his nose. “It sounds like Lambert’s really still feeling sick. I hope he doesn’t vomit on your bed, Kris. One of my kids does that every time she gets sick, and let me tell you, it’s not much fun…”
He cut off as Brad suddenly shrieked.
“What the…” Sarver dropped his Bible in surprise, and hunched over to try to fish it off the floor. His size made it a little difficult, and he was still fishing when Brad kicked it up several notches.
“Oh, fuck, right there, Adam, right there, fuck, oh, FUCK,” and Kris was a little surprised by just how loud he could wail. Though Katy was loud too.
Sarver fell off the bed.
Gokey tried to bolt to his feet, but the top bunk was there and he nearly cracked his head open.
Kris bit his lip hard, hysterical laughter wanting to come pealing out of him.
“Oh, it sounds like Adam and Brad are having a conjugal visit,” he said, casually.
“FUCK right there Adam fuck fuck oh HARDER give it to me harder baby oh your cock feels so good fuuuuuuuuuck….”
Sarver was trying to get untangled in the narrow aisle. Gokey, cradling his head, hissed at Kris, “Doesn’t it BOTHER you? He shouldn’t be doing things like that on the bus!!”
Kris shrugged. “Oh, I don’t care.” Waited a beat. “He usually warns me.” Slight fib, since Adam and Brad hadn’t actually done anything on the bus before to Kris’s knowledge, but Adam had warned him not to sit up before, and right now Kris was counting that. “Tonight though he probably thought I’d be out all night with you guys.”
Gokey’s eyes bugged out with the thought that there had been other times. Kris glanced down and Sarver was definitely turning an unattractive shade of purple, but whether from the sound-show or from trying to pull himself up to his feet, Kris wasn’t really sure.
Brad’s keening picked up even more, and there was a distinct thudding sound coming from the back now.
And then Adam’s voice, heavy and hoarse and lust-filled, loud and unmistakable, “FUCK fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuck…”
It was in rhythm, Kris had to give them that. Thuds and Brad’s high keen and Adam’s staccato baritone - who would have guessed, Adam a baritone?
Gokey had reached down and pulled Sarver up, finally, and yep, they looked like they were fleeing. The opponent was routed.
Gokey turned around, wild-eyed, haste in every line of his awkward face, “Aren’t you COMING, Kris?”
Kris waited a beat, feeling his blood simmer, let a glint of steel show in his smile. “No.”
Gokey gaped and Sarver glared over his shoulder. “You call yourself a Christian, Allen?”
“Yes, Sarver, I do.” He returned him glare for glare. “But be that as it may, I’m not coming.”
In the back, Brad’s keening mantra of “fuck-fuck-fuck” built to a crescendo, then suddenly spilled into a yell of “ADAM!”
In the sudden silence that settled over them, Kris smiled sweetly at the two flabbergasted men in front of him.
And then, in the silence, the three men heard it. A short, stuttery, almost wounded gasp. And all the blood rushed down to Kris’s groin again, because shit, that might have been one of the sexiest things he’d heard in a loonnnng time. Even though he knew what it was. Even though he was married and would never even think of cheating on Katy, the love of his life, and Katy would take his balls off with a spoon if he did. Even though he’d seen the way Adam and Brad looked at each other, and he wouldn’t have been at all surprised if they’d gotten engaged by the end of the tour, or even if they were already. Even so.
He kept that information to himself, however. Looking up at Sarver and Gokey, frozen in the doorway, he kept the sweet smile on his face. “You go ahead. I’m not coming,” he repeated in the silence. And then he let his sweet revenge come out, just a little, because Adam had better things to do at the moment than stop him. “But I think they just did.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Comments are appreciated. :)
You can find my fic masterlist here.
Ship: Brad Bell/Adam Lambert, Kris Allen/Adam Lambert friendship
Word Count: 4000
Rating: R
Warnings: Swearing. Voyeurism (only heard, not seen). Scarring of homophobes.
Summary: Originally written for the ontd_ai kink meme. Kris has an interesting experience on the tour bus, and Gokey & Sarver get what's coming to them.
Disclaimer: This is NOT REAL LIFE. This is a work of fiction, written for entertainment purposes only, and the author is not making any money off of it.
Kris stifled a yawn. It wasn’t that late yet - he’d just come into the tour bus from outside, and it had only been dusk out there - but headaches always made him sleepy, and boy did he have a doozy of a headache. Plus, there was the whole constant time-zone-changing thing. He honestly didn’t have an idea how many hours he’d gained and lost over the past few weeks. For all he knew, his internal clock could be at midnight right now, even though it was probably about 9.
Mostly, though, Kris thought it was the headache, since he was pretty sure they were somewhere in Middle America right now, so no wide time swings either way. Well, the headache, and probably the stress and frustration of having to deal with Sarver and Gokey all the time. Sarver hadn’t really been around long enough during the actual show to begin to grate on him, but he’d sure been making up for lost time recently. He and Gokey were joined at the hip, and Gokey’s behavior had begun to steadily deteriorate as well; when Kris felt like being charitable, he chalked it up to Gokey feeling left out from the others’ groups and thus gravitating to someone he found familiar and comfortingly confident.
But Kris felt less and less like being charitable these days. If Sarver made one more snide remark in Adam’s direction, with Gokey trying to hide his snigger in the background, Kris was going to deck him. Interestingly, it was always Adam who held him back with a quick warning “Kris!” or a simple cautioning hand. He’d asked Adam once why Adam didn’t just let him deal with the issue once and for all, but Adam had just said that violence never made anything better and Sarver would never change his mind anyway. Plus, Adam had added, part of Sarver’s behavior was probably just trying to get attention, and if he was ignored he would eventually stop.
Kris suddenly realized he was still standing by the entrance to the bus, slumped against the supporting wall. Might as well just go to bed, he thought. Everyone else was still out at dinner. The girls’ bus had apparently driven through some dropped nails or something, and blown two of its tires. The Idols had immediately taken the opportunity to escape their wheeled prisons and go out to dinner. (Well, all except Adam, who’d pleaded an upset stomach, and now Kris, who’d left the party after only an hour because of the sudden onset of this headache.) Their handlers had sighed and told them to be back by 11, when they’d get back on the road.
Adam was probably asleep by now, Kris thought, what with his upset stomach and all. Then again, maybe it was keeping him up. Adam did usually have more problems falling asleep than Kris did. Kris should head back to their stacked bunks and check on him: if he was awake, Kris would keep him company, and if he was asleep Kris would hit the sack as well.
Kris was halfway down the aisle, wending his way past everyone else’s bunks, when he suddenly froze. Besides himself, Adam should be the only person on this bus, right?
That had not been Adam’s voice.
He listened carefully, but the voice did not immediately speak again. After a moment, he shrugged. It had been coming from the general direction of Adam’s bunk - maybe Adam was talking to someone on speakerphone. Odd, but nothing to get spooked at. He decided to attribute his reaction to just the kinda creepy deserted feeling of the empty bus.
Arriving at his bunk, he stopped himself just in time from his customary hearty flop onto the bed, remembering his headache and gingerly easing himself down instead. That felt good. His pillow was cool under his slightly flushed forehead, and his head felt a little better all ready. Maybe he’d forget about keeping Adam company, dude obviously had his phone conversation, and Kris was already drifting off…mmm, soft bed…too tired to even get under the covers…hot in here anyway…sleeeeep…
He jerked awake again abruptly, hand flying to his suddenly racing heart. What had woken him?
Then he heard it. A moan, from the bunk above him. A quivery, long moan.
His immediate reaction was concern. Poor Adam, his stomach must really be bothering him. Having lived in close quarters with another person before, Kris’s second reaction was more pragmatic - he really hoped Adam hadn’t fallen asleep and then woken up vomiting all over his bed. Katy had done that once and it had been really disgusting. Worst thing was, when Katy had done it she’d been so sick and woebegone, Kris really hadn’t felt that it was fair to make her clean up after herself, so he’d done it. He was not going to do that for Adam though…he was above using his celebrity for most things, but in this case the handlers could find somebody else to strip Adam’s bed and clean up the mess.
Even so, Kris had a leg already swung out of bed, ready to climb up the ladder and see if he could get Adam a glass of water or something, when the moan was repeated. This time, however, it didn’t stop with a simple moan.
“Ohhhhh, fuuuuuuck, Adam,” the voice moaned, long and drawn out. “Right there, baby, right there...ohhhhh, fuuuuck, ohhhhhh fuuuuck…”
Kris sat frozen, half in bed and half out of bed for a very long moment. The moaning - no, he’d definitely call it keening now - was not stopping, and actually seemed to be getting a little louder.
It took a stuttering, low “oh, fuck” from a second voice - and Kris’ entire body seemed to flush as he recognized it as Adam’s - to pull Kris from his stupor and propel him onto his feet and down the aisle back toward the door. Reaching the end bunk-bed, he sat down on the bottom one as quietly as he could. He didn’t know whether to hope the two in Adam’s bed had heard him or to hope they hadn’t. If they had, he would be embarrassed for life, but if they hadn’t they were likely to finish eventually - oh, shit, finish - and then they would see him when they went to leave.
They didn’t seem to have heard him, though. The sounds from the back of the bus seemed only to have gotten louder - if they’d been this loud when Kris had arrived, he’d have definitely heard them and probably turned around and gone back to the party - and Kris wasn’t sure, but he thought the bunk might be moving.
Kris thunked his head into the bedpost, softly, then groaned as his head reminded him it wasn’t finished with him yet. He should have realized Adam’s “upset stomach” was code for “Brad’s waiting for me at our next tour stop and it’s only a half-hour away from here so I’m going to stay in and have sex with him in my bunk while you guys go to dinner.” At least, that’s what Kris assumed was going on. He had a brief wild thought of Adam hiding his boyfriend under Kris’ bed, but that was illogical. Brad was small, but there wasn’t enough room under there for Kris to hide, and they called him the Midget.
It wasn’t that he resented Adam having sex, he told himself. Not at all. Actually he was glad, because Adam seemed to get more and more highly-strung, the longer he went without sex. This whole monogamous-but-separated-from-your-partner thing was tough on them all, though they showed it in different ways. Kris got more and more sarcastic, Matt got morose sometimes, Adam got a little manic.
Besides, Adam being back together with Brad had made him so happy. Kris wasn’t really clear on the whole story, just that Drake had broken up with Adam right before the tour, saying simply that the famous life wasn’t for him, sorry, and Adam had moped for a couple days and then shrugged it off, and then they’d been backstage at some tour stop and they’d come around a corner and there was Brad. Just standing there, looking at Adam. And Kris had had to catch his breath, because Brad’s face and eyes were so eloquent, just staring at Adam, and Kris didn’t know Brad well at all but he saw love and peace and longing and insecurity and a twist of something wry, all wrapped up together. And he knew Adam, next to him, had seen it too, because there was a stillness where Adam’s breathing had been a moment before, and then Adam’s breath whooshed out again in the single word, “Brad.” And it wasn’t a question, it wasn’t a statement, it was a promise and a declaration and a shudder. And Kris was never sure afterward whether Adam or Brad had moved first, but he blinked and they were in each other’s arms, not kissing or speaking or doing anything really, just holding each other as if they’d never let each other go again.
Anyway, that had been a month ago, and overall, Kris would definitely say that Adam having sex was a good thing. Adam had always been a pretty sunny-natured guy, but lately it had reached a whole other level. It was just the whole “having it right over my head” thing, making him feel like a voyeur, that bothered Kris. And that wasn’t Adam’s fault either - Kris was supposed to have been out with the others for a while yet, and would have been, if this headache hadn’t ambushed him.
Also, he was a male, after all. Moaning and movement and all that jazz right over his head made a certain part of his anatomy sit up and start paying attention. Which wasn’t such a good thing because, first, best friend involved, and second, wife, and third, wife not around to alleviate problem.
Brad’s moaning hadn’t stopped. Just gotten louder, longer, like a mantra. In a certain dispassionate corner of his mind not currently being assailed by his headache, Kris spared room to be faintly surprised. Not that he’d thought much about Adam having sex - oh shit, mental images - but inasmuch as he had thought about it, he would have thought Adam was a more “wham, bang” kind of guy - you know, fast, hard, overpowering. The slow, drawn-out moans coming from Brad, punctuated by Adam’s own distinctive voice, weren’t like that at all. If Katy had been here, she would have said it was the difference between the sound of fucking and the sound of making love…
Thinking of Katy made Kris remember the position he was in. Shit, Kris was getting way too turned on by this. He shifted, thunking his head against the bedpost again by accident. Maybe he should go back to the party, despite his headache. That would serve the double purpose of keeping the other guys away from the bus for a while and getting him out of earshot of those two. Katy was coming to the next tour stop, wasn’t she, and then they could sneak away for some time on their own? He tried desperately to remember what the next tour stop was again. He’d been so good at the beginning of the tour, but pretty soon he’d lost track.
He pulled himself out of the bed he’d appropriated and crept toward the door, not wanting to alert the duo now that he had decided to leave them in peace, although he rather doubted anything would alert them at the moment. A look out the door, however, made him realize that his plans would need to be adjusted.
As if this situation wasn’t awkward enough already, Sarver and Gokey, the terrible twosome, were rapidly approaching the bus.
Kris thought for a quick moment. He could get out of the bus and try to talk them into going back to the party. Without knowing why they were coming back by themselves, he didn’t know if that would work, but they were both really eager to be his friends so he thought it would. They had some idea of winning him away from Adam’s “seditious influence,” as Gokey had inarticulately put it one day (he was pretty sure Gokey had meant pernicious), and back to the “side of the Lord,” as Sarver was fond of saying. (Kris was pretty sure the Lord liked the side Kris was currently on just fine.)
Thinking about the two’s thinly veiled homophobia was enough to start Kris’s blood on a slow boil. He almost cast a quick glance around for Adam’s restraining hand, it was so common these days, but remembered just in time where Adam was and what Adam was doing. No help there; he was going to have to restrain himself all by himself.
Sighing, he went quietly down the steps and out the doors, intercepting Sarver and Gokey a short distance away. “Hey guys! My headache’s gone away a bit. How about going back to the party?”
Gokey’s head snapped up, awkward eagerness in his eyes. “Sure! Hey Mike, we should go back with Kris, don’t you think?” His glance flickered up toward the bus. “Adam’s stomach still sick, then? He won’t be coming with us?”
“Uh…yeah, he won’t be coming with us,” Kris settled on. He didn’t like outright lying, but although he strongly suspected Adam’s stomach had always been right as rain, there was certainly no falsehood in saying Adam wasn’t coming with them. Although, half-hard as he was, “coming” sounded dirty…shit, he needed to get his mind out of the gutter.
Sarver, though, was shaking his head in what Kris privately called the “Sarver Shake”, which was characterized by being slightly stupid, douche-y, and obstinate. “No, Danny my man, remember why we left in the first place. Anoop and Matt were starting up the ungodly dancing. I’m sure Kris does not want to see that.”
“Ungodly dancing?” Kris raised an eyebrow. “You mean dirty dancing?”
Gokey shifted his weight from one foot to the other, awkwardly. Sarver frowned. “Ungodly,” he repeated, with finality. “Think on the good things, think on what is holy.”
“…Okay,” Kris said. He wondered if it had been a repeat of that stripper pole they’d had at that one party Paula had come to with them, right before tour, and if so why a stripper pole was at a dinner place. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know. “But…uh…maybe they’ve stopped by now? Or we could…uh…go shopping! I’ve been meaning to pick up something for Katy.”
“I think the shops are probably closed,” Gokey said, with a bit of regret in his voice. He really did seem to like hanging out with Kris, for some reason. “It’s kind of late, and I think we’re kind of in the middle of nowhere.”
Sarver, meanwhile, was looking at Kris with an oddly calculating gaze. “Actually, I know something we could do.”
“You do?” Gokey was perky again.
“Yeah?” Kris asked.
“Yeah. I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while, actually. I know it can be difficult, being young and being in a new place an’ all, and I just thought we might be able to get together and look at God’s Word together - just you, me, an’ Danny. You know, sometimes things get clouded, if you haven’t been reading the Word often enough, and we’re here to be your brothers in your time of need.” Sarver looked quite pleased with himself, and even reached out and patted Kris’s shoulder.
“My…time of need?” Kris was seriously confused. For a moment the slightly pompous phrase reminded him of Katy’s coy “Kris, it’s, you know, my time of the month,” and okay, this evening was getting completely bizarre.
“My pastor has told me that it is difficult for many young people out there in the world,” Sarver explained, or thought he explained.
Kris shot his eyes over to Gokey for help.
Gokey looked a little uncomfortable, but mostly still eager. “You know, the world is very seductive. It makes a lot of sense sometimes to us. We need to remember what the truth is so we can resist the world.” His eyes flickered up to the tour bus.
And suddenly Kris understood what they were getting at. And suddenly he was beyond pissed.
He controlled his voice with an effort. “Oh, you’re talking about homosexuality. I see now.”
Gokey nodded. Sarver said, “We are famous now. We have to be good role models. I know it is hard to resist the world, especially when you have to be around Him all the time. But of course God says that They are to be put to death for doing It, and that may not be allowed in America today but we should not pretend like It is okay. And…”
Sarver went on, but Kris no longer heard him over the rushing in his head. For Kris could hear the capitals in his voice, and his blood was boiling and Adam wasn't there to pull him away, not there to quietly turn the other cheek to Sarver, living Jesus’s teachings as Sarver seemed incapable of, and he wanted to open his mouth and call Sarver out…
But Sarver was pulling away, moving past Kris, toward the steps of the tour bus, saying something about getting his Bible, to point out chapter and verse probably. And Kris sprung after him, but he was too late.
Sarver was ahead of him, Gokey behind, as they all three spilled into the tour bus. Sarver immediately plopped down on his bunk - which, blessedly, was the one nearest the front - and started rummaging around under his pillow, presumably for his Bible. He was oblivious to anything going on around him, like usual. Kris listened, half-hysterically, but the back of the bus was quiet.
Gokey pushed past him, reached up to his own bunk above Sarver’s to grab his own Bible, and then flopped down next to Sarver. Kris sat slowly, numb, on Matt’s bunk, putting his own body between them and the back of the bus.
And then he heard the moan.
It was quiet, and it wasn’t repeated right away. But Kris now knew that Adam and Brad weren’t done, and that they either hadn’t heard the three in the front of the bus - granted, it was a pretty long bus, and there was a living/kitchen area halfway down that made it longer - or they didn’t care.
Gokey looked over at him. “See, right here. Leviticus 18:22 says ‘You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.’”
Sarver, cutting over him, remorseless, dry: “Leviticus 20:13 - ‘If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.’”
And Kris suddenly simply did not care anymore. One part of him wanted to argue with them, talk about how Jesus brought a new Covenant with him to wash away the old one, try to win them over to a new understanding and focus on God’s love, figure out some way to show them how he could be a devout Christian and yet believe homosexuality is not a sin. Another part of him, much louder, shouting its way past the blood rushing in his ears and the headache pounding at his temples, wanted to deck Sarver and then Gokey if Gokey didn’t flee first.
Another quiet moan came from the back of the bus.
This time, Gokey heard it. His head whipped around. “What was that?”
And Kris’s conflicting urges suddenly coalesced. Cold fury, hot anger, exasperated indignation, all came together.
He smiled, slowly, lazily, wickedly. “What was what?”
Brad moaned on cue.
Sarver looked up, wrinkling his nose. “It sounds like Lambert’s really still feeling sick. I hope he doesn’t vomit on your bed, Kris. One of my kids does that every time she gets sick, and let me tell you, it’s not much fun…”
He cut off as Brad suddenly shrieked.
“What the…” Sarver dropped his Bible in surprise, and hunched over to try to fish it off the floor. His size made it a little difficult, and he was still fishing when Brad kicked it up several notches.
“Oh, fuck, right there, Adam, right there, fuck, oh, FUCK,” and Kris was a little surprised by just how loud he could wail. Though Katy was loud too.
Sarver fell off the bed.
Gokey tried to bolt to his feet, but the top bunk was there and he nearly cracked his head open.
Kris bit his lip hard, hysterical laughter wanting to come pealing out of him.
“Oh, it sounds like Adam and Brad are having a conjugal visit,” he said, casually.
“FUCK right there Adam fuck fuck oh HARDER give it to me harder baby oh your cock feels so good fuuuuuuuuuck….”
Sarver was trying to get untangled in the narrow aisle. Gokey, cradling his head, hissed at Kris, “Doesn’t it BOTHER you? He shouldn’t be doing things like that on the bus!!”
Kris shrugged. “Oh, I don’t care.” Waited a beat. “He usually warns me.” Slight fib, since Adam and Brad hadn’t actually done anything on the bus before to Kris’s knowledge, but Adam had warned him not to sit up before, and right now Kris was counting that. “Tonight though he probably thought I’d be out all night with you guys.”
Gokey’s eyes bugged out with the thought that there had been other times. Kris glanced down and Sarver was definitely turning an unattractive shade of purple, but whether from the sound-show or from trying to pull himself up to his feet, Kris wasn’t really sure.
Brad’s keening picked up even more, and there was a distinct thudding sound coming from the back now.
And then Adam’s voice, heavy and hoarse and lust-filled, loud and unmistakable, “FUCK fuck fuck fuuuuuuuuck…”
It was in rhythm, Kris had to give them that. Thuds and Brad’s high keen and Adam’s staccato baritone - who would have guessed, Adam a baritone?
Gokey had reached down and pulled Sarver up, finally, and yep, they looked like they were fleeing. The opponent was routed.
Gokey turned around, wild-eyed, haste in every line of his awkward face, “Aren’t you COMING, Kris?”
Kris waited a beat, feeling his blood simmer, let a glint of steel show in his smile. “No.”
Gokey gaped and Sarver glared over his shoulder. “You call yourself a Christian, Allen?”
“Yes, Sarver, I do.” He returned him glare for glare. “But be that as it may, I’m not coming.”
In the back, Brad’s keening mantra of “fuck-fuck-fuck” built to a crescendo, then suddenly spilled into a yell of “ADAM!”
In the sudden silence that settled over them, Kris smiled sweetly at the two flabbergasted men in front of him.
And then, in the silence, the three men heard it. A short, stuttery, almost wounded gasp. And all the blood rushed down to Kris’s groin again, because shit, that might have been one of the sexiest things he’d heard in a loonnnng time. Even though he knew what it was. Even though he was married and would never even think of cheating on Katy, the love of his life, and Katy would take his balls off with a spoon if he did. Even though he’d seen the way Adam and Brad looked at each other, and he wouldn’t have been at all surprised if they’d gotten engaged by the end of the tour, or even if they were already. Even so.
He kept that information to himself, however. Looking up at Sarver and Gokey, frozen in the doorway, he kept the sweet smile on his face. “You go ahead. I’m not coming,” he repeated in the silence. And then he let his sweet revenge come out, just a little, because Adam had better things to do at the moment than stop him. “But I think they just did.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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