Eulogy for David Ramirez - by Scott Ingram
Dave and I met while working at Sun Microsystems. A coworker and mutual friend, Rachel Borden tried to play match maker when she asked me if I thought the new guy was cute. I never told Dave this, but, I responded that I hadn't really noticed. In fact, he and I had both been to a social gathering months earlier, or so we figured out long after the fact. We had been completely oblivious to one another.
"You mean you were at that GenX Bears movie night too?" I later asked him.
"Yep," he said.
"Huh."
Apparently, we didn't make much of an impression on one another. So this is totally not a "love at first sight" story. We were never so sappy as to stoop to such a mushy cliche.
That's why we count Valentine's Day as our anniversary.
February 14th, 1998 I was having fun at International Bear Rendezvous, checking out all the hot and hairy gay men who had come from world over to crowd into San Francisco for the event. It was there that I spotted a particularly cute fellow and suddenly realized it was Dave. I guess he must have grown on me in the past few months as we had been working and lunching together. I was so excited. It was amusing! Neither of us knew the other was gay. So, I snuck up behind him, put my hands over his eyes, and said, "guess who!" He had no idea; no idea what were about to get ourselves into. Neither of us did.
What did we get ourselves into? This was the most difficult and rewarding relationship of my life. I've loved Dave more than any man I've ever known. I fell in love with Dave's pushy, gregarious charm, his sincerity, how easily he showed affection, the generosity of his spirit, and how much he loved to laugh.
I had wanted to say much more about all the wonderful times Dave and I shared, because there were so many over the past 11 years. We had so much in common that made our life together happy. Our relationship was full of geeky bliss. But I think all you know that already.
I know that I might have never met many of you if it weren't for Dave. In a very big way, you are his legacy. Over the past week since he died and the past year of our troubled relationship, you have all been there for both of us. You have helped us both in so many ways. Your love has sustained me and I am forever grateful. And I know Dave is too.
by Scott Ingram
February 14th, 2009
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"You mean you were at that GenX Bears movie night too?" I later asked him.
"Yep," he said.
"Huh."
Apparently, we didn't make much of an impression on one another. So this is totally not a "love at first sight" story. We were never so sappy as to stoop to such a mushy cliche.
That's why we count Valentine's Day as our anniversary.
February 14th, 1998 I was having fun at International Bear Rendezvous, checking out all the hot and hairy gay men who had come from world over to crowd into San Francisco for the event. It was there that I spotted a particularly cute fellow and suddenly realized it was Dave. I guess he must have grown on me in the past few months as we had been working and lunching together. I was so excited. It was amusing! Neither of us knew the other was gay. So, I snuck up behind him, put my hands over his eyes, and said, "guess who!" He had no idea; no idea what were about to get ourselves into. Neither of us did.
What did we get ourselves into? This was the most difficult and rewarding relationship of my life. I've loved Dave more than any man I've ever known. I fell in love with Dave's pushy, gregarious charm, his sincerity, how easily he showed affection, the generosity of his spirit, and how much he loved to laugh.
I had wanted to say much more about all the wonderful times Dave and I shared, because there were so many over the past 11 years. We had so much in common that made our life together happy. Our relationship was full of geeky bliss. But I think all you know that already.
I know that I might have never met many of you if it weren't for Dave. In a very big way, you are his legacy. Over the past week since he died and the past year of our troubled relationship, you have all been there for both of us. You have helped us both in so many ways. Your love has sustained me and I am forever grateful. And I know Dave is too.
by Scott Ingram
February 14th, 2009
Comments