(no subject)
Title: Those Lies
Prompt Number/Prompt: 009/Lie
Character/Fandom: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
Word Count: 686
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Spans the timeline from the end of S3 to the middle of S5.
Summary: After Fred walks out of his hospital room, Wesley decides lying isn't as painful as the truth.
Wesley could taste an odd mixture of blood and disinfectant. He’d never liked hospitals as a child since his father made it rather clear going to the hospital was a sign of weakness. It was something he had brought into his adulthood and always hated having to go to the emergency room after abstaining an injury. Even if he was in more pain than imaginable.
Each of his aliments were mapped out on his body, reminding him of his past. He knew the cruel cut across his neck would always be there. The doctor had assured him they’d done everything possible to decrease the scarring. Wesley didn’t care, though. He needed to remember what he’d done.
For the rest of his life, he would remember he was a monster. He would be reminded of what he’d done to Angel and Connor. Nothing could take the pain away and he needed it to be there. He’d failed all of them and this was his punishment.
All he wished for was a chance to explain things to them. He wanted them to know why he’d done it, even if he was never forgiven. Wesley needed to explain himself.
He thought he was going to have a chance when she walked in.
Fred. Sweet and innocent Fred. The woman he’d fallen in love with but had lost due to his own awkwardness. He could never compete with Gunn. He was stronger and faster and more sure of himself. He didn’t bumble over his words like Wesley did and he was rather sure that was one of the many reasons he’d lost her to the other man.
Yet, she was there. And Wesley knew she would listen. It didn’t matter who she had chosen because Wesley knew she would listen. He couldn’t imagine Fred hating anyone.
He allowed her to stay and talk as he desperately looked for something to write on. He stopped, though, when she told him it’d been a trick. He had been tricked and it was all for nothing.
The words sunk in and he stilled his motions. Oh god. He had allowed himself to be tricked and he’d ruined lives in the process.
As everything finally clicked, he turned his head in time to see Fred inching toward the door. She saw him as a monster, he was sure of it, and he was about to lose her. His mouth open and he grunted out, wanting to say something. Instead of words, he got a mouthful of blood.
She couldn’t leave. She couldn’t walk out. He needed her to stay. Fred was his one link to humanity and she was opening the door of his room. The only person, who might actually understand, was walking out of his life.
And, before he could do anything about it, she was gone.
Over the following days and weeks, the anger built up inside of him. Wesley wanted nothing more than to hate Fred for leaving. He made himself believe he never wanted her to stay. Lying was easier than the truth.
It was those lies that helped him keep a stoic stance when Gunn came to his flat, begging for help. It was those lies that helped him down bottle after bottle of alcohol. And, it was those lies that made him not care when he bed Lilah Morgan during an hour of desperation.
But lies were never meant to be the truth. He eventually tired of making himself believe he hated the woman he was in love with. It was Fred who was on his mind when he broke it off with Lilah. It was Fred on his mind when he broke Faith out of jail. He needed her to stop Angelus because he refused to allow Fred to die also.
And, when Fred came to him and kissed him, and talked about signals, the lie dissolved. For the first time in over a year, Wesley was finally honest with himself and with the woman before him.
He loved her and would for the rest of his life.
Prompt Number/Prompt: 009/Lie
Character/Fandom: Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
Word Count: 686
Rating: PG-13
Warning(s): Spans the timeline from the end of S3 to the middle of S5.
Summary: After Fred walks out of his hospital room, Wesley decides lying isn't as painful as the truth.
Wesley could taste an odd mixture of blood and disinfectant. He’d never liked hospitals as a child since his father made it rather clear going to the hospital was a sign of weakness. It was something he had brought into his adulthood and always hated having to go to the emergency room after abstaining an injury. Even if he was in more pain than imaginable.
Each of his aliments were mapped out on his body, reminding him of his past. He knew the cruel cut across his neck would always be there. The doctor had assured him they’d done everything possible to decrease the scarring. Wesley didn’t care, though. He needed to remember what he’d done.
For the rest of his life, he would remember he was a monster. He would be reminded of what he’d done to Angel and Connor. Nothing could take the pain away and he needed it to be there. He’d failed all of them and this was his punishment.
All he wished for was a chance to explain things to them. He wanted them to know why he’d done it, even if he was never forgiven. Wesley needed to explain himself.
He thought he was going to have a chance when she walked in.
Fred. Sweet and innocent Fred. The woman he’d fallen in love with but had lost due to his own awkwardness. He could never compete with Gunn. He was stronger and faster and more sure of himself. He didn’t bumble over his words like Wesley did and he was rather sure that was one of the many reasons he’d lost her to the other man.
Yet, she was there. And Wesley knew she would listen. It didn’t matter who she had chosen because Wesley knew she would listen. He couldn’t imagine Fred hating anyone.
He allowed her to stay and talk as he desperately looked for something to write on. He stopped, though, when she told him it’d been a trick. He had been tricked and it was all for nothing.
The words sunk in and he stilled his motions. Oh god. He had allowed himself to be tricked and he’d ruined lives in the process.
As everything finally clicked, he turned his head in time to see Fred inching toward the door. She saw him as a monster, he was sure of it, and he was about to lose her. His mouth open and he grunted out, wanting to say something. Instead of words, he got a mouthful of blood.
She couldn’t leave. She couldn’t walk out. He needed her to stay. Fred was his one link to humanity and she was opening the door of his room. The only person, who might actually understand, was walking out of his life.
And, before he could do anything about it, she was gone.
Over the following days and weeks, the anger built up inside of him. Wesley wanted nothing more than to hate Fred for leaving. He made himself believe he never wanted her to stay. Lying was easier than the truth.
It was those lies that helped him keep a stoic stance when Gunn came to his flat, begging for help. It was those lies that helped him down bottle after bottle of alcohol. And, it was those lies that made him not care when he bed Lilah Morgan during an hour of desperation.
But lies were never meant to be the truth. He eventually tired of making himself believe he hated the woman he was in love with. It was Fred who was on his mind when he broke it off with Lilah. It was Fred on his mind when he broke Faith out of jail. He needed her to stop Angelus because he refused to allow Fred to die also.
And, when Fred came to him and kissed him, and talked about signals, the lie dissolved. For the first time in over a year, Wesley was finally honest with himself and with the woman before him.
He loved her and would for the rest of his life.