This weekend Drama King and I had a series of intense discussions, not the least of which was the So What About This Whole Kid Thing Anyway talk
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\o/ Baby! Or toddler! Or abandoned siblings! Or whatever!
I think this sounds wonderful and generous, and I can't do anything more than applaud you and wish you the best of luck. You'll find your family, or rather, more family will find you. It always does. ;)
It's funny how many people I know who were adopted, and how few people I know who have adopted. It's a funny thing, adoption. I think it's wonderful (I have a brother who was adopted), but I also know it can carry issues that are different from birthing a child.
Giving a loving home to a child who doesn't already have one is a wonderful, beautiful thing, and I love the idea. I hadn't thought about it being one way you're both fully participating in becoming parents, but it makes complete sense. Adds another layer to the beauty, you know?
Now that you mention it, I know quite a few friends/aquaintences who were adopted and not none who have adopted.
It's true that adoption carries a different set of issues than a birthchild. Neither Drama King, nor I were adopted so I'm hoping that some of my friends who have been adopted might be willing to talk to me about their experiences.
Re: Maybe babydramaqueen_23December 12 2005, 20:48:13 UTC
You're right that, given the short period of time DK and I spent trying for a baby, there's no need to worry about my fertility.
I guess I only brought it up, because it was the wondering about potential problems that got me seriously thinking about adoption in the first place. At this point I have no desire to go through pregnancy or give birth, so I tend not to worry about fertility issues anyway.
MANY of the couples who adopt in this manner, end up getting one of their own, by accident, and inconveniently, just as they're preparing to fly to some part of Asia to pick up their baby, and so, for health and safety reasons, daddy goes alone. It seems once The Pressure is off, and you're all excited and anticipate-ey, boom!
I've heard so many stories like this one. I think when the time comes, I'll be doubling up on the condoms! :)
I love that you and DK are very much on the same page with this. I think it's going to make the whole experience that much more fulfilling, with it being something you both chose.
Being on "the same page" is a sort of pre-requisite DK and I agreed upon in regards to having kids. We both have to feel comfortable with the decision to become parents. We both have to feel comfortable about how we want it to happen. If one partner feels they're not ready, there's to be no cajoling or manipulating by the other person.
I hope you're right about adoption being a fulfilling experience for us. I imagine it will likely be arduous at times too, but no matter what it's a process that we can go through together.
If you want to talk to adoptive parents of foreign born children, i can hook you up with a couple of my favourites here at work, in April ... Our medical librarian loves to talk about her adoption story.
We make our own families, even with biological children - I agree completely.
DK and I have only mentioned our intent to adopt to a few people and I've been shocked (though I probably shouldn't be) by how vehemently certain people have reacted against it.
In particular certain people seem to interpret our very, personal, individual desire to adopt as a general disapproval of biological parenthood, which it's not AT ALL. It makes me think about what you've been going through with your wedding and how some people seem think that just because you're not making the same choices, that automatically implies you think they're choices are bad.
No matter how people choose to have kids, or even if they choose to have kids at all, as long as they're doing what works for them I'm all for it.
I agree. Love is where you find it, after all - and if you can give love to a child who, without you, would have no hope at all, that's a beautiful and amazing thing.
and I'm sure your lives will be equally enriched by it.
I don't understand why people buy purebred dogs, when there are so many in need of homes already. Not the same thing, but sort of - there needs to be more love.
As you know, I envy you having the choice to adopt. It's something I have always wanted to do. Mr. Swiss just isn't into it. But, who knows, after one , maybe he'll be up for adopting one too....life is strange.... In any case, I think it's wonderful and if I could afford to pay someone to carry my baby, I would SO do that. The pregnancy thing does not do it for me at all.
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Baby! Or toddler! Or abandoned siblings! Or whatever!
I think this sounds wonderful and generous, and I can't do anything more than applaud you and wish you the best of luck. You'll find your family, or rather, more family will find you. It always does. ;)
Reply
Thank you! I believe this too...I really, really do.
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Giving a loving home to a child who doesn't already have one is a wonderful, beautiful thing, and I love the idea. I hadn't thought about it being one way you're both fully participating in becoming parents, but it makes complete sense. Adds another layer to the beauty, you know?
Reply
It's true that adoption carries a different set of issues than a birthchild. Neither Drama King, nor I were adopted so I'm hoping that some of my friends who have been adopted might be willing to talk to me about their experiences.
Reply
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I guess I only brought it up, because it was the wondering about potential problems that got me seriously thinking about adoption in the first place. At this point I have no desire to go through pregnancy or give birth, so I tend not to worry about fertility issues anyway.
MANY of the couples who adopt in this manner, end up getting one of their own, by accident, and inconveniently, just as they're preparing to fly to some part of Asia to pick up their baby, and so, for health and safety reasons, daddy goes alone. It seems once The Pressure is off, and you're all excited and anticipate-ey, boom!
I've heard so many stories like this one. I think when the time comes, I'll be doubling up on the condoms! :)
Reply
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Being on "the same page" is a sort of pre-requisite DK and I agreed upon in regards to having kids. We both have to feel comfortable with the decision to become parents. We both have to feel comfortable about how we want it to happen. If one partner feels they're not ready, there's to be no cajoling or manipulating by the other person.
I hope you're right about adoption being a fulfilling experience for us. I imagine it will likely be arduous at times too, but no matter what it's a process that we can go through together.
Reply
If you want to talk to adoptive parents of foreign born children, i can hook you up with a couple of my favourites here at work, in April ... Our medical librarian loves to talk about her adoption story.
We make our own families, even with biological children - I agree completely.
Reply
DK and I have only mentioned our intent to adopt to a few people and I've been shocked (though I probably shouldn't be) by how vehemently certain people have reacted against it.
In particular certain people seem to interpret our very, personal, individual desire to adopt as a general disapproval of biological parenthood, which it's not AT ALL. It makes me think about what you've been going through with your wedding and how some people seem think that just because you're not making the same choices, that automatically implies you think they're choices are bad.
No matter how people choose to have kids, or even if they choose to have kids at all, as long as they're doing what works for them I'm all for it.
Reply
and I'm sure your lives will be equally enriched by it.
I don't understand why people buy purebred dogs, when there are so many in need of homes already. Not the same thing, but sort of - there needs to be more love.
Reply
In any case, I think it's wonderful and if I could afford to pay someone to carry my baby, I would SO do that. The pregnancy thing does not do it for me at all.
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