[The camera turns on to find one absolutely furious-looking Rachel Berry on the other end of the screen-- with one small snag. It seems someone has turned her into a boy. Next to her on the desk is a small note that the careful observer will note as reading "this will make him last longer." If Rachel is grateful, he/she doesn't look it one bit.]
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[Just....OMG]
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.. You know you aren't that bad looking as a boy.
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[Did he say that out loud.]
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[*cough*]
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[WHELP, BLUSHING.]
In my bedroom, pretending I don't exist?
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[DENIAL FOREVER.]
Good, stay there. I will come and bring you some clothes. Just write a note for your parent saying that you are staying at my place for a few days because we need to work on the West Side Story musical. I will tell my dad...I have no idea... that you are and exchange student or something.
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Okay. Okay, I can do that. I'll have to try and make it believable so they don't think I just ran away. -- oh! We can come up with an elaborate backstory about me and turn it into an acting exercise!
Your dad is going to know I'm gay, Kurt.
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Let's focus on the actual problem before we turn into into a movie scrip, can we do that? Priorities, Rach...Ray. I can't call you Rachel in front of others.
You are not gay, and even if you were he will be okay with it. Teddy slept on my house too and he's dating another guy.
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I... guess Ray works. Not that I'm particularly happy about it.
Okay. I just don't want you to get in trouble.
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Pick a different name if you want. But Ray at least it's easy to remember.
Like me getting in trouble is anything new. It will be fine.
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