A PSA from your local devil hunter [AKA BRB TROLLING YOUR ASS, BIRKIN AND WESKER]
All right, seems there's a ton of new people here on the community. So, let's go for introductions first- Name's Dante, and I run a business by the name of Devil May Cry. Unless you've got a big demon on your hands, your ass needs saving from something from Hell, you're a friend of mine, or you're getting back to me on something I called you for first- don't bother calling, there's no answering machine in the shop. Pizza and booze are the only exceptions to this rule.
Now that that's done and out of the way, I figured you guys should know a few things about the place. Specifically: the members. And I've got two in particular that come to mind. I doubt many of you have met them so far, unless you've seen the recent post with one of them being a horrible swimmer.
Anyway- let's get started.
First one right here's a guy by the name of Albert Wesker. He goes better by the nicknames of Alby, Weskums, Fail!god, and Psychopath, because he's the kind of guy who likes to think he's important and can change the world by causing mass genocide. "Survival of the fittest," he says.
Heh, right.
His hobbies include being a backstabber, working in labs to help his partner create viruses that will turn people into zombies or tentacle monsters, brainwashing friends of the good guys, trying to kill almost his entire world in order to "save humanity and make it perfect," flying over volcanoes in a plane, falling into said volcano, and being shot in the face by rockets.
There's a hell of a lot more he's done, but I'll spare you all the details.
If any of you run into him, make sure to tell him your world is boring and uninteresting. He's helped his partner Birkin experiment on one member of the community here already- but I'll cover that in more details when I get to Sir Crazy.
Alby's the kind to rely on witty comebacks and sarcasm if you try to talk with him, he has an "O holier than thou" kind of attitude (because he's delusional), and he has this thing for destroying the world. Think I mentioned that before, but just in case you missed it the first time, there you go.
All in all? Not to be trusted. But hey, don't take my word for it- just ask the people who actually live on his world and have to deal with him.
Person number two:
This is the second of the group; William Birkin. Also better known as Sir Crazy, Fail!scientist, Birkinstein, and Dr. Strangelove. He's the supposed brains behind the brawn, but he's clearly lacking smarts in a lot of the social departments.
In addition for not knowing how to swim at all, this guy's been the cause of a lot of problems in his world. He's belonged to a group that turned people into zombies, he willingly works with Wesker, and he's experimented on people already that belonged to the community.
As for any advice on him: just steer clear of him, he likes to kidnap people and try to bring them back to his world and experiment on them. Not to mention he's got a great creeper factor going on about him, so watch out for that too.
Don't really believe much he says, and besides- rumor has it that he's "gayer than a handbag full of rainbows," and that him and Wesker are supposedly in a relationship, so that would explain everything. Heh. Just saying.
Now that you've gotten through all that, I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing. I'm sure some of you enjoyed this little public service announcement from your local devil hunter. No need for thanks, it's what I'm here for.
Now that that's done and out of the way, I figured you guys should know a few things about the place. Specifically: the members. And I've got two in particular that come to mind. I doubt many of you have met them so far, unless you've seen the recent post with one of them being a horrible swimmer.
Anyway- let's get started.
First one right here's a guy by the name of Albert Wesker. He goes better by the nicknames of Alby, Weskums, Fail!god, and Psychopath, because he's the kind of guy who likes to think he's important and can change the world by causing mass genocide. "Survival of the fittest," he says.
Heh, right.
His hobbies include being a backstabber, working in labs to help his partner create viruses that will turn people into zombies or tentacle monsters, brainwashing friends of the good guys, trying to kill almost his entire world in order to "save humanity and make it perfect," flying over volcanoes in a plane, falling into said volcano, and being shot in the face by rockets.
There's a hell of a lot more he's done, but I'll spare you all the details.
If any of you run into him, make sure to tell him your world is boring and uninteresting. He's helped his partner Birkin experiment on one member of the community here already- but I'll cover that in more details when I get to Sir Crazy.
Alby's the kind to rely on witty comebacks and sarcasm if you try to talk with him, he has an "O holier than thou" kind of attitude (because he's delusional), and he has this thing for destroying the world. Think I mentioned that before, but just in case you missed it the first time, there you go.
All in all? Not to be trusted. But hey, don't take my word for it- just ask the people who actually live on his world and have to deal with him.
Person number two:
This is the second of the group; William Birkin. Also better known as Sir Crazy, Fail!scientist, Birkinstein, and Dr. Strangelove. He's the supposed brains behind the brawn, but he's clearly lacking smarts in a lot of the social departments.
In addition for not knowing how to swim at all, this guy's been the cause of a lot of problems in his world. He's belonged to a group that turned people into zombies, he willingly works with Wesker, and he's experimented on people already that belonged to the community.
As for any advice on him: just steer clear of him, he likes to kidnap people and try to bring them back to his world and experiment on them. Not to mention he's got a great creeper factor going on about him, so watch out for that too.
Don't really believe much he says, and besides- rumor has it that he's "gayer than a handbag full of rainbows," and that him and Wesker are supposedly in a relationship, so that would explain everything. Heh. Just saying.
Now that you've gotten through all that, I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing. I'm sure some of you enjoyed this little public service announcement from your local devil hunter. No need for thanks, it's what I'm here for.