Fic: The Teen Titans Play The Muppet Show--Pigs In Space
Pigs In Space
And now... PIIIIIIIIGS IIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
When we last left the Swinetrek, the ship was approaching a black hole...
"Captain!" Dr. Julius Strangepork cried out, "In two minutes ve vill have crossed ze event horizon! There vill be no turning back!"
"Calm yourself, Doctor," Link Hogthrob drawled. "Why would we want to go back? The Swinetrek always goes forward... like a big... glowing... light."
"But ve're about to be shucked into a black hole!"
"Like a big... glowing... light," Link repeated raptly.
The bridge doors opened to admit First Mate Piggy. Strangepork turned to her, his eyes wide with a desperate hope. "Oh, First Mate Piggy! Sank goodness you are here! Maybe YOU can make our captain see sense!"
Piggy tilted her head in confusion. "I can't even make him see that we've been flying around in circles for the last five seasons," she said with an exasperated growl. "What do you want from me? A miracle?"
"Look at the screen!" Strangepork pointed. "Ve must turn zis ship around, right pronto, or..."
Piggy's eyes widened. "Move it, Hogthrob!" she ordered.
"Now, wait just a minute, First Mate Piggy," Hogthrob seemed to snap out of his trance. "I'm still the captain and I give the orders around here."
Piggy's eyes blazed. "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-"
"Piggy! Turn this ship around. That's an order!"
Piggy flashed him a demurely triumphant smile. "Right away, captain."
As she reached for the navigation controls, the ship suddenly gave a lurch and began to vibrate.
"Oh no!" Strangepork shrieked. "Ve must be past the event horizon! It's too late! Ve are doomed!"
"Not yet we aren't!" Piggy shot back. "Fire flashlight beams into that thing!"
"Flashlight?" Strangepork asked. "B-but a black hole is so dense zat not even light can escape it!"
"Who said anything about letting it escape? Fire the beams!"
All at once, the shaking stopped. Disbelieving, Strangepork tottered over to the viewer. A moment later he looked up. "Unbelievable! The black hole has taken in so much of our flashlight beams that it's been transformed into a light hole!"
"Oh my," Link said, chewing nervously on one of his front hooves. "A light hole? Aren't those things dangerous, Doctor Strangepork?"
"Vat? No, no they're perfectly harmless. Ve're safe!"
Hogthrob straightened up and puffed out his chest. "Yes, once again, I, Captain Link Hogthrob, have saved the day for the crew of the Swinetrek."
Piggy turned slowly away from the controls. "Forgive me, Captain," she said with ominous calm. "Did I hear you say that you saved the ship?"
"Naturally, First Mate Piggy. I knew that the only way we could POSSibly escape from the denseness of the black hole was to order you to steer the ship."
"I don't think we managed to escape from all of the denseness," Piggy shot back.
"Captain!" Strangepork called. "You know that big red light on the navigational computer? The one that only starts blinking if ve are facing grave danger?"
"Yes, Doctor?" Link drawled. "What about it?"
Strangepork's voice lowered to just above a whisper. "It's bleeeeen-keeeeng..."
The crew of the Swinetrek exchanged horrified looks.
Tune in next time for another episode of PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGS... INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN... SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Next scene
And now... PIIIIIIIIGS IIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
When we last left the Swinetrek, the ship was approaching a black hole...
"Captain!" Dr. Julius Strangepork cried out, "In two minutes ve vill have crossed ze event horizon! There vill be no turning back!"
"Calm yourself, Doctor," Link Hogthrob drawled. "Why would we want to go back? The Swinetrek always goes forward... like a big... glowing... light."
"But ve're about to be shucked into a black hole!"
"Like a big... glowing... light," Link repeated raptly.
The bridge doors opened to admit First Mate Piggy. Strangepork turned to her, his eyes wide with a desperate hope. "Oh, First Mate Piggy! Sank goodness you are here! Maybe YOU can make our captain see sense!"
Piggy tilted her head in confusion. "I can't even make him see that we've been flying around in circles for the last five seasons," she said with an exasperated growl. "What do you want from me? A miracle?"
"Look at the screen!" Strangepork pointed. "Ve must turn zis ship around, right pronto, or..."
Piggy's eyes widened. "Move it, Hogthrob!" she ordered.
"Now, wait just a minute, First Mate Piggy," Hogthrob seemed to snap out of his trance. "I'm still the captain and I give the orders around here."
Piggy's eyes blazed. "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-"
"Piggy! Turn this ship around. That's an order!"
Piggy flashed him a demurely triumphant smile. "Right away, captain."
As she reached for the navigation controls, the ship suddenly gave a lurch and began to vibrate.
"Oh no!" Strangepork shrieked. "Ve must be past the event horizon! It's too late! Ve are doomed!"
"Not yet we aren't!" Piggy shot back. "Fire flashlight beams into that thing!"
"Flashlight?" Strangepork asked. "B-but a black hole is so dense zat not even light can escape it!"
"Who said anything about letting it escape? Fire the beams!"
All at once, the shaking stopped. Disbelieving, Strangepork tottered over to the viewer. A moment later he looked up. "Unbelievable! The black hole has taken in so much of our flashlight beams that it's been transformed into a light hole!"
"Oh my," Link said, chewing nervously on one of his front hooves. "A light hole? Aren't those things dangerous, Doctor Strangepork?"
"Vat? No, no they're perfectly harmless. Ve're safe!"
Hogthrob straightened up and puffed out his chest. "Yes, once again, I, Captain Link Hogthrob, have saved the day for the crew of the Swinetrek."
Piggy turned slowly away from the controls. "Forgive me, Captain," she said with ominous calm. "Did I hear you say that you saved the ship?"
"Naturally, First Mate Piggy. I knew that the only way we could POSSibly escape from the denseness of the black hole was to order you to steer the ship."
"I don't think we managed to escape from all of the denseness," Piggy shot back.
"Captain!" Strangepork called. "You know that big red light on the navigational computer? The one that only starts blinking if ve are facing grave danger?"
"Yes, Doctor?" Link drawled. "What about it?"
Strangepork's voice lowered to just above a whisper. "It's bleeeeen-keeeeng..."
The crew of the Swinetrek exchanged horrified looks.
Tune in next time for another episode of PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGS... INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN... SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!
Next scene