[Bayverse] Survivor's Guilt - RatchetxTwins

[dracoqueen22]

a/n: I'm choosing not to warn for many of the things that occur in this fic for the fact that it spoils the emotional impact (though the title should give some idea and make it fairly obvious). So this is my warning. Read at your own risk. There could possibly be triggery content here. I repeat, read at your own risk.

Title: Survivor's Guilt

Comments

[senna_chan]

... This was definitely one of the saddest bayverse-fics I've ever read.

They were just so utterly broken and Sunstreaker's (if it really was him) efforts to reconnect them only made feel worse, because of the hopelessness and, and... *bawls like a baby*

- Senna-chan

[dracoqueen22]

Awww. Thank you.

It both was and wasn't Sunstreaker. He's definitely dead but they were bonded to him, so they can feel the echoes of his spark in theirs. And there's a good chance both of them were kind of losing their grip on reality a bit...

[sunnysideofblue]

There DEFINITELY needs to be a sequel, the way the two of them are hurting is just too much to bear! *sobs*

Still, very well written.

[dracoqueen22]

Glad you liked it! They are hurting and I think as soon as I can solidify how I want the sequel to go, I'll write it. There's definite need for some closure here.

[fuzipenguin]

lovely. I always like to read fics that explore the death of one of the twins when they're bonded w/ someone else. It's got to be so hard for that third bondmate because no matter how much the twins love them, he was last to their love.

Most of these type of fics have Ratchet failing to save the dead twin... I wonder what the dynamic would be if Ratchet had been elsewhere and another medic had failed. I'm sure there would still be guilt and blame, but I wonder they could over come that.

Anyway, I love that song lots, and I'm going to be remembing this fic every time I listen to it.

[dracoqueen22]

I'm glad you liked it!

I think, too, that if it had been another medic, there still would have been a lot of guilt/blame. Just a different sort. Then it would have been "Why weren't you there? Why'd you let someone else fail?"

Plus they are all dealing with the "why didn't we die, too? we're supposed to die too!"

That song was a great prompt. As soon as I heard it, this fic started unfolding in my mind...

[fuzipenguin]

maybe I missed it... but did either Ratchet or Sideswipe experience a point where they thought they were going to die too? They're both experiencing phantom pain, but was that ever physical as well?

In this universe, does a broken bond between two regular bondmates result in anything beside phantom pain as well?

sorry for the questions; I like thinking about bond mechanics and reading about different takes on them. I remember asking about the bonding between Sunny and Ratch in Event Horizons and how that affected Sideswipe and will eventually echo through First Aid as well (have I mentioned I'm really excited about the sequel?). How do you think a death of one of those bondmates would result?

... you totally don't have to answer these questions, I'm kinda just thinking out loud :) It says alot about the impact of a story, if I'm still thinking about it hours later, so awesome job and thanks again!

[dracoqueen22]

They expected to die because that's what everybody thought, that twins would always die if the other one did and anyone they happened to bond would follow with them. Head-canon states that they expected to sort of waste away, just sparks degrading at a rapid pace except... nothing. They're both stupidly healthy.

A lot of the pain is in their "head" so to speak. (I also strongly believe that the reason they do not experience the intense physical pain that usually happens in bonded pair deaths is because they are still two of three and the effects have been split between them)

Again, head-canon for this verse, states that the longer a bonded pair (not twinned) have been bonded, the worse the pain is if one or the other were to offline. But it doesn't result in immediate death (though dying of a broken spark is not uncommon. In relationships that last that long, the surviving bond doesn't particularly want to live and wastes away as a result of that)

I like answering questions!

[mmouse15]

Well. That just about ripped out my heart and stomped on it. That is a boatload of angst, very well written. Nice job.

[dracoqueen22]

Thanks! I have an affection for angst of the heart-stomping variety... and Ratchet suffers the most because he's my favorite. Poor medic. :)

[sideslip_tf]

Good explanation for why there was no Sunstreaker in the movies. Lots of angst.

[dracoqueen22]

Thank you. I'm sure there are dozens of Sunny-explanations out there but I suppose it doesn't hurt to add another. lol.