Fic: "Substitute" chapter 11

[dracomaleficium]

The Jeeko ship has seen a lot of excitement over Christmas. Apart from our very fun AU round robin fic which continues to be very fun, we decided to host a very informal secret santa fest (claimed two prompts because clearly I don't have enough stuff to write as it is) and people decided to give us Christmas specials in the form of fic and art.

Comments

[errantknightess]

Heheee~ Now, that was a fun chapter! Enjoyed it greatly. It has all the fluff - and yet, of course, things still manage to get tangled at the very end. Again. Not that it's a bad thing. It's actually a good thing. You may be falling into a pattern, but it's definitely not anything to be worried about, as you still play it very gracefully, and, well, naturally; that's just how these things roll, isn't it

[dracomaleficium]

Thank you so much. Honestly. There are some bits in your comment that I really needed to hear and let me start my reply with them, because it was a hugely important wake-up call for me. I really value you as a reader precisely because you are, um, sort of outside of the usual circle of people who would normally take up this fic; you are unbiased in this respect, and this makes your perspective and feedback all the more valued for me because it's a true and objective reflection of how well am I faring as a writer. Which is why I was alarmed by what you wrote about Jee's increasingly sappy attitude. You are right, this chapter does present him in a different way and it was this precisely which made me so frustrated with it - I was aiming for development, a sort of bridge for changing attitudes, and the point was to keep it as IC, realistic and fluent as possible, so when you say this change struck you, then there is definitely room for improvement (especially if the term high-schoolish territory is used, yikes!) and I need to watch the

[errantknightess]

Since you admit yourself that stressing out over the text helps you keep it in order, I won't be trying to convince you to calm down ;) However, judging from your reply, I'm afraid you may be taking my remarks to heart a bit too much - and then again, it's probably my fault, too, for not communicating clearly what I have in mind. I wish I could explain exactly what I meant by the high-schoolish territory, since that's the term that seems to worry you the most; unfortunately, it's more of a general sensation and I can't quite put my finger on the elements of your text that caused it. If it helps any, I believe that you fell into the same trap as Jee, so to speak; by making him let his guard down, you did so yourself. Jee is no longer as rigid in terms of his teacher-student relationship with Zuko; even though he is still aware of the consequences of a possible slip, this chapter is very relaxed compared to the previous ones, and I think this may contribute to the feeling of the boundaries getting fuzzy. Not that catching old Jee off

[dracomaleficium]

All of this makes me extra cautious about chapter 12 and I really wonder what you will think of it, as it does involve a secret ice skating trip and will serve, in a way, to highlight Jee's changing attitude to what's acceptable and what isn't outside of the frames society would put it in. In a way, it's supposed to make the boundaries even more fuzzy and for once I'm glad I haven't yet finished the next chapter before posting this one, because I'm sure your comment will contribute to making it better. I'll be paying a lot of attention to Jee's development through all this, that much is certain