Misinterpreted Methods
Title: Misinterpreted Methods
Author: idontgiveafaux
Rating: PG
Team: Death Eaters
Challenge: Cake
Word Count: 100 x 7
Summary: Draco does something nice for Harry. Harry wishes he didn't.
Notes: No DH spoilers
Harry came home from work one evening to find Draco sitting on the sofa reading a book. That in itself was strange enough - Harry had never seen Draco so content from reading but what made it stranger still was the reading material.
“Are you… alright?” Harry asked. Draco looked up and smiled.
“Of course!” He replied and showed Harry the page he was reading. “I’ve decided I’m going to bake you a cake.”
“Why?”
Draco’s eyes narrowed. “Do I need a reason?”
“No, I just -”
“Then make sure you stay away from the kitchen until I call you.”
*
“Like it?” Draco asked eagerly.
Harry nodded vigorously while working out he could make the piece of cake in his mouth disappear without actually swallowing it. He could taste what he supposed was meant to be chocolate on his tongue and it was foul but he kept nodding and smiling and chewing as Draco watched him with an anxious expression on his face.
“I worked really hard on it. Without using any magic!”
Harry smiled and nodded and chewed some more before he worked up the courage and swallowed the piece of cake. One slice down. Nine more to go.
*
“Don’t you want some?” Harry asked, pushing a slice towards him. Draco shook his head and Harry quickly began flicking through his mental calendar of any important dates he might have missed because surely Draco making him eat this crap without tasting any himself was some sort of punishment for forgetting a fourth date anniversary or something?
“I made it for you,” Draco explained grandly. “I followed the recipe word for word… well except for the oven part.”
Harry had bravely lifted another piece to his mouth with his fork and was about to eat it until Draco mentioned this.
*
“What ‘oven part?’” Harry asked.
“Well it was taking far too long in the oven and dinner was almost ready so I remembered that you said the microwave was quicker and put it in there to cook instead. It took a fraction of the time!”
Harry swallowed back the urge to vomit. “This was a very nice thought…”
“But you hate it,” said Draco sulkily, throwing himself against the back of his seat and folding his arms.
“I don’t,” said Harry, getting up from his chair and going to the kitchen, planting a quick kiss on Draco’s forehead as he passed.
*
Once in the kitchen, Harry ran over to the tap, turned it on, and stuck his mouth under it ungraciously, washing the taste of garbage out of his mouth. That was without a doubt the worst thing he had ever tasted in his life and the fact that he’d come across a few suspiciously shit-like flavoured Bertie Botts Every-Flavour Beans just showed how bad Draco’s attempt at cookery was.
“Harry, are you -”
Harry froze before pulling his mouth away from the tap and turning it off and then turned to Draco who was standing at the doorway.
*
“Of all the rude things, Harry!”
“Draco, I’m -”
“Save it! I don’t want your apologies. MOVE!” He emphasised this last command by shoving Harry out of the way of the fridge before he started slamming his ingredients back in there. “And you didn’t even bother to ask me if I needed any help -”
“You told me not to come in until you’d finished!” Harry cried defensively and then stopped as Draco reached for a tube of clear liquid.
“What… is… that?” And please don’t tell me you used it in the cake.
“I used it in the cake,” Draco snapped.
*
“What is it?”
“Glue.”
Harry’s heart sank and he tried to keep his voice calm so as not to set Draco off again. “Draco, why did you use glue in the cake? Surely it didn’t mention glue in the cookery book?”
“No it didn’t but that’s why you could never be a cook, Harry!” Draco sneered. “Sometimes you have to think outside of the box. The method said that the ingredients needed to stick together into a thick paste so I figured -”
That’s all Harry heard before he pushed Draco out of the way and ran for the toilet.
Author: idontgiveafaux
Rating: PG
Team: Death Eaters
Challenge: Cake
Word Count: 100 x 7
Summary: Draco does something nice for Harry. Harry wishes he didn't.
Notes: No DH spoilers
Harry came home from work one evening to find Draco sitting on the sofa reading a book. That in itself was strange enough - Harry had never seen Draco so content from reading but what made it stranger still was the reading material.
“Are you… alright?” Harry asked. Draco looked up and smiled.
“Of course!” He replied and showed Harry the page he was reading. “I’ve decided I’m going to bake you a cake.”
“Why?”
Draco’s eyes narrowed. “Do I need a reason?”
“No, I just -”
“Then make sure you stay away from the kitchen until I call you.”
*
“Like it?” Draco asked eagerly.
Harry nodded vigorously while working out he could make the piece of cake in his mouth disappear without actually swallowing it. He could taste what he supposed was meant to be chocolate on his tongue and it was foul but he kept nodding and smiling and chewing as Draco watched him with an anxious expression on his face.
“I worked really hard on it. Without using any magic!”
Harry smiled and nodded and chewed some more before he worked up the courage and swallowed the piece of cake. One slice down. Nine more to go.
*
“Don’t you want some?” Harry asked, pushing a slice towards him. Draco shook his head and Harry quickly began flicking through his mental calendar of any important dates he might have missed because surely Draco making him eat this crap without tasting any himself was some sort of punishment for forgetting a fourth date anniversary or something?
“I made it for you,” Draco explained grandly. “I followed the recipe word for word… well except for the oven part.”
Harry had bravely lifted another piece to his mouth with his fork and was about to eat it until Draco mentioned this.
*
“What ‘oven part?’” Harry asked.
“Well it was taking far too long in the oven and dinner was almost ready so I remembered that you said the microwave was quicker and put it in there to cook instead. It took a fraction of the time!”
Harry swallowed back the urge to vomit. “This was a very nice thought…”
“But you hate it,” said Draco sulkily, throwing himself against the back of his seat and folding his arms.
“I don’t,” said Harry, getting up from his chair and going to the kitchen, planting a quick kiss on Draco’s forehead as he passed.
*
Once in the kitchen, Harry ran over to the tap, turned it on, and stuck his mouth under it ungraciously, washing the taste of garbage out of his mouth. That was without a doubt the worst thing he had ever tasted in his life and the fact that he’d come across a few suspiciously shit-like flavoured Bertie Botts Every-Flavour Beans just showed how bad Draco’s attempt at cookery was.
“Harry, are you -”
Harry froze before pulling his mouth away from the tap and turning it off and then turned to Draco who was standing at the doorway.
*
“Of all the rude things, Harry!”
“Draco, I’m -”
“Save it! I don’t want your apologies. MOVE!” He emphasised this last command by shoving Harry out of the way of the fridge before he started slamming his ingredients back in there. “And you didn’t even bother to ask me if I needed any help -”
“You told me not to come in until you’d finished!” Harry cried defensively and then stopped as Draco reached for a tube of clear liquid.
“What… is… that?” And please don’t tell me you used it in the cake.
“I used it in the cake,” Draco snapped.
*
“What is it?”
“Glue.”
Harry’s heart sank and he tried to keep his voice calm so as not to set Draco off again. “Draco, why did you use glue in the cake? Surely it didn’t mention glue in the cookery book?”
“No it didn’t but that’s why you could never be a cook, Harry!” Draco sneered. “Sometimes you have to think outside of the box. The method said that the ingredients needed to stick together into a thick paste so I figured -”
That’s all Harry heard before he pushed Draco out of the way and ran for the toilet.