Two and a Half Men # 2: Malfoy Management
Title: Malfoy Management
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 1,800
Summary: Harry engages in some serious Malfoy management
Author's notes: A follow up to The French Fry Thief for everyone who asked for a sequel. It can be read as a stand-alone though. I did not expect this to span an arc so bear with me if it's not exactly up to the mark. I tried. Part of my Two and a Half Men arc.
Disclaimer: Faffing about. Do not own Harry Potter.
Harry opened the door and stepped inside, immediately stopping in his tracks as he registered the wreckage that had once been Draco’s organised little apartment. Broken dishes, toys strewn all over the floor… Harry blinked, just taking it all in.
It had taken him about a week after returning from his beach vacation to realise that he missed being surrounded by grey eyed blonds in varied shapes and sizes. It had taken him another week to muster up the courage to ask Draco out. The blond had accepted and the rest, as they say is history.
Ever since then, Harry had been making a habit of stopping by after work and on the weekends to spend time with his two favourite blonds at said apartment. To the best of his knowledge, it had never been susceptible to gang violence before. Seriously, what the hell had happened here?
His questions were summarily answered as a wail of pure rage emanated from the bedroom down the hall. Harry halted as he recognized the unmistakable sound of a two year old throwing one hell of a hissy fit. It started as a soft keening before heightening to a crescendo- a sound loud and shrill enough to wake the dead. Harry winced as the shrieks descended to a new decibel level. Whatever had happened, Scorpius certainly did not approve. If he listened hard enough, he could just make out Draco’s strained tone over the ruckus.
“That’s enough, young man. This behaviour is absolutely unacceptable.”
“No!”
“And ‘no’ is not the answer to all of life’s great questions.”
“No! No! No!”
“Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy! I swear to Merlin if you say that word one more time…where are you going? Come back here this instant!”
Pattering footsteps echoed as Scorpius made his escape into the hall. He skidded to a halt when he caught sight of Harry standing by the door. Harry barely caught a glimpse of huge, teary grey eyes and messy hair before Scorpius wailed and charged for him. By the time he came to grips with the situation there was a small blond starfish wrapped around him, bawling into his leg.
“Hey, you,” Harry murmured softly.
Scorpius responded by burying his face in Harry’s thigh and howling like the damned. Harry reacted by instinct, running a hand through soft, blond locks and making soothing, shushing noises. Scorpius dug his tiny hands into his trousers, anchoring himself to Harry as he sobbed.
Draco had made an appearance by this time as well, stopping short as he saw Harry too. His normally impeccable hair was tousled and Harry suspected he had run his hands through it on more than one occasion this morning. His shirt was ruffled and splattered with food stains and he looked about as happy as his son.
“Dare I ask?” Harry attempted.
His boyfriend sighed and shrugged helplessly. “We are having an off day,” he announced.
“Really?” Harry retorted. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Scorpius went up another octave and Harry sighed, bending down to pick up the little one. Lately, he had become quite adept at carting Scorpius around as he went about his day so it was really no hardship. The small blond curled up and turned huge, wet eyes on him. A single tear tracked its way down his pale cheek and Harry’s heart clenched. He shifted him in his arms, cuddling the upset little Malfoy to his chest.
“What’s the matter, Blondie?” he crooned, brushing his fringe back and planting a soft kiss on his forehead. “What’s with the waterworks?”
Scorpius sniffed and hid in the crook of his neck, taking a moment to point a dramatic, accusing finger at his father. Draco threw his arms up in defeat and flopped on the couch. Harry suppressed a chuckle and focused his efforts on handling one Malfoy at a time. Currently, the little one whimpering in his arms was top priority.
“Poor baby,” he cooed, rubbing soothing circles into Scorpius’ trembling back. “Was Father being mean to you?”
Scorpius nodded fretfully and Draco huffed. “I call favouritism,” he grumbled from the couch.
Harry raised an eyebrow at him. “When you’re the one bawling in my arms like the world’s about to end, I promise I’ll take your side.”
Scorpius sniffed and clenched at his shirt, demanding attention. Harry pressed another kiss to his head, making sure he was calm again before approaching the couch and settling next to Draco. He had to physically hold back a grin as father and son shot each other twin scowls of reproach.
“Go on then,” he said, addressing Draco as he stroked Scorpius’ hair. “What excuse could you possibly have for traumatising my sweet little boy?”
Draco scoffed. “Your sweet little boy nearly brought the house down because I asked him to eat his vegetables.” He raised an eyebrow as Harry chuckled. “That’s right. All this ruckus over a bowl of strained carrots and peas.”
Harry made a face. “Strained carrots and peas? Ugh. No wonder he’s crying.”
“He’s crying because he knows you’ll cuddle him and pamper him and you won’t make him eat his vegetables,” Draco accused with a smirk. “Face it, Harry. He’s playing you like a harp.”
“He is not!” Harry argued, somewhat miffed by the insinuation that his sweet blond angel was capable of such deception.
“Look at him!” Draco protested. Despite his agitation, his lips quirked in an amused grin as Scorpius nuzzled into Harry’s chest, sniffing pitifully and bunching his hands in his shirt. Harry responded with a concerned coo, lavishing him with kisses and stroking his hair back. Scorpius looked up at him with shy eyes, raising a small hand to bat at Harry’s cheek. Draco suppressed an eye-roll. He could hear his boyfriend melting. It was official. His son was an evil genius.
When the man finally resurfaced from his latest bout of Scorpius snuggling, Draco fixed him with a flat look.
“Like. A. Harp.”
Harry huffed. “It’s your own fault for having such a cute kid. Anyway, at least I can get him to eat his lunch without wearing most of it.” He smirked and gestured at the splatters of food decorating Draco’s shirt, eliciting a scowl from his boyfriend.
“Is that so?” Draco challenged, lifting his chin haughtily. “Well go on, miracle worker. Show me how it’s done.”
“Fine,” Harry huffed. “I will.” He turned back to his blond bundle, coaxing Scorpius out of his shoulder. “Feeling better, Blondie?” he asked softly.
“No,” Scorpius mumbled sulkily.
“That’s too bad,” Harry clucked. “How about we get some lunch, hm? You don’t have to have any if you don’t want to.”
Scorpius gave it some thought before responding with a small ‘kay. He allowed Harry to carry him over to the table without any protest, although he did make a face at the bowl of carrot mush still sitting there. Harry sat down with the child in his lap, making a series of insincere, appreciative noises at the unsavoury dish.
“Doesn’t that look good?” he exclaimed.
Scorpius fixed him with a flat unimpressed look, not unlike Draco’s. “No.”
Harry was inclined to agree but Draco was leaning at the door frame, watching the proceedings with amusement and he wasn’t about to back down now.
Squaring his shoulders, he summoned a plate from the kitchen and slopped some of the mush out. “I can’t wait to try some,” he declared, bringing the spoon to his lips and ignoring the protests of his roiling stomach.
Scorpius watched Harry eating the icky stuff with renewed interest. His brow drew down in a thoughtful frown. Well, if Harry was eating it, it couldn’t be that bad…
Meanwhile, Harry was trying very hard not to grimace as he swallowed around a tasteless glob of vegetable. It was especially difficult, since Draco wasn’t even bothering to hide his snickering anymore. Harry fixed him with a disapproving glare and the blond took a deep breath, composing himself.
“See Scorpius?” he said. “Harry’s eating his veggies like a big boy. Don’t you want to be a big boy for Harry?”
“Do you want to try some?” Harry coaxed. “I’m only sharing it with you ‘cause we’re best mates, you know.”
The grown-ups watched with bated breath as Scorpius considered that. Seconds seemed like hours and it seemed that ages had passed when a small set of shoulders shrugged and a ‘kay of approval was finally issued.
Victory!
Harry heaved a sigh of relief and spooned some of the mush in an unresisting Scorpius’ mouth. The child ate without any more tantrums and Harry grinned triumphantly, feeling like he had won a war all over again. “Well?” he demanded, giving his visibly impressed boyfriend a smug look.
“Quit your job,” Draco drawled, leaning over for a quick kiss. “You’re never leaving this house again.”
“Why Draco,” he teased. “Are you asking me to move in?”
The blond flushed, a light pink tinting his cheeks as he regarded Harry. “Maybe,” he whispered softly, a hint of uncertainty in his tone. “Only if you want to, of course. I understand if…”
Harry smiled and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, enjoying a taste of Draco after that god-awful mush. “I’d like that,” he whispered when he finally broke away.
Draco’s eyes widened and an incredulous smile pulled at his lips. The sight warmed Harry’s heart like nothing else. He had always wanted a family so badly and to have one with Draco and Scorpius…how had he gotten so lucky? He kissed his beautiful boyfriend again, only letting him go with a pang of regret.
“We’ll discuss it after you finish feeding the little monster,” Draco smiled. “In the meantime, if nobody minds I’m going in for a shower. Maybe get the stench of carrot out of my hair.”
Harry’s body thrummed with approval at this new information. “Need some help?” he asked.
“Maybe,” Draco replied with a sly grin. “Join me if you can put His Highness down for a nap.” He departed with a wink and Harry watched his retreating back with a fond smile. “Did you hear that, Scorpius?” he said, nuzzling at the little blond in his lap. “I’m going to come live with you.”
“Kay,” Scorpius replied.
Harry chuckled and kissed his forehead. “It’s going to be perfect,” he murmured. Scorpius ignored him in favour of the last spoonful of mush and Harry grinned, cleaning him up and sending the plate back to the kitchen. He could definitely get used to this. The faint sound of the shower drifted down the hall and his grin widened. Speaking of things he could get used to, he still had time to claim his reward. This day was starting to look pretty damn perfect.
“Now then,” Harry grinned, lifting the little blond up. “How about we get you ready for that nap?”
Scorpius blinked seriously at him, before finally voicing a firm, unyielding response.
“No.”
Next Chapter: The Good of the Family
Rating: PG 13
Word Count: 1,800
Summary: Harry engages in some serious Malfoy management
Author's notes: A follow up to The French Fry Thief for everyone who asked for a sequel. It can be read as a stand-alone though. I did not expect this to span an arc so bear with me if it's not exactly up to the mark. I tried. Part of my Two and a Half Men arc.
Disclaimer: Faffing about. Do not own Harry Potter.
Harry opened the door and stepped inside, immediately stopping in his tracks as he registered the wreckage that had once been Draco’s organised little apartment. Broken dishes, toys strewn all over the floor… Harry blinked, just taking it all in.
It had taken him about a week after returning from his beach vacation to realise that he missed being surrounded by grey eyed blonds in varied shapes and sizes. It had taken him another week to muster up the courage to ask Draco out. The blond had accepted and the rest, as they say is history.
Ever since then, Harry had been making a habit of stopping by after work and on the weekends to spend time with his two favourite blonds at said apartment. To the best of his knowledge, it had never been susceptible to gang violence before. Seriously, what the hell had happened here?
His questions were summarily answered as a wail of pure rage emanated from the bedroom down the hall. Harry halted as he recognized the unmistakable sound of a two year old throwing one hell of a hissy fit. It started as a soft keening before heightening to a crescendo- a sound loud and shrill enough to wake the dead. Harry winced as the shrieks descended to a new decibel level. Whatever had happened, Scorpius certainly did not approve. If he listened hard enough, he could just make out Draco’s strained tone over the ruckus.
“That’s enough, young man. This behaviour is absolutely unacceptable.”
“No!”
“And ‘no’ is not the answer to all of life’s great questions.”
“No! No! No!”
“Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy! I swear to Merlin if you say that word one more time…where are you going? Come back here this instant!”
Pattering footsteps echoed as Scorpius made his escape into the hall. He skidded to a halt when he caught sight of Harry standing by the door. Harry barely caught a glimpse of huge, teary grey eyes and messy hair before Scorpius wailed and charged for him. By the time he came to grips with the situation there was a small blond starfish wrapped around him, bawling into his leg.
“Hey, you,” Harry murmured softly.
Scorpius responded by burying his face in Harry’s thigh and howling like the damned. Harry reacted by instinct, running a hand through soft, blond locks and making soothing, shushing noises. Scorpius dug his tiny hands into his trousers, anchoring himself to Harry as he sobbed.
Draco had made an appearance by this time as well, stopping short as he saw Harry too. His normally impeccable hair was tousled and Harry suspected he had run his hands through it on more than one occasion this morning. His shirt was ruffled and splattered with food stains and he looked about as happy as his son.
“Dare I ask?” Harry attempted.
His boyfriend sighed and shrugged helplessly. “We are having an off day,” he announced.
“Really?” Harry retorted. “I hadn’t noticed.”
Scorpius went up another octave and Harry sighed, bending down to pick up the little one. Lately, he had become quite adept at carting Scorpius around as he went about his day so it was really no hardship. The small blond curled up and turned huge, wet eyes on him. A single tear tracked its way down his pale cheek and Harry’s heart clenched. He shifted him in his arms, cuddling the upset little Malfoy to his chest.
“What’s the matter, Blondie?” he crooned, brushing his fringe back and planting a soft kiss on his forehead. “What’s with the waterworks?”
Scorpius sniffed and hid in the crook of his neck, taking a moment to point a dramatic, accusing finger at his father. Draco threw his arms up in defeat and flopped on the couch. Harry suppressed a chuckle and focused his efforts on handling one Malfoy at a time. Currently, the little one whimpering in his arms was top priority.
“Poor baby,” he cooed, rubbing soothing circles into Scorpius’ trembling back. “Was Father being mean to you?”
Scorpius nodded fretfully and Draco huffed. “I call favouritism,” he grumbled from the couch.
Harry raised an eyebrow at him. “When you’re the one bawling in my arms like the world’s about to end, I promise I’ll take your side.”
Scorpius sniffed and clenched at his shirt, demanding attention. Harry pressed another kiss to his head, making sure he was calm again before approaching the couch and settling next to Draco. He had to physically hold back a grin as father and son shot each other twin scowls of reproach.
“Go on then,” he said, addressing Draco as he stroked Scorpius’ hair. “What excuse could you possibly have for traumatising my sweet little boy?”
Draco scoffed. “Your sweet little boy nearly brought the house down because I asked him to eat his vegetables.” He raised an eyebrow as Harry chuckled. “That’s right. All this ruckus over a bowl of strained carrots and peas.”
Harry made a face. “Strained carrots and peas? Ugh. No wonder he’s crying.”
“He’s crying because he knows you’ll cuddle him and pamper him and you won’t make him eat his vegetables,” Draco accused with a smirk. “Face it, Harry. He’s playing you like a harp.”
“He is not!” Harry argued, somewhat miffed by the insinuation that his sweet blond angel was capable of such deception.
“Look at him!” Draco protested. Despite his agitation, his lips quirked in an amused grin as Scorpius nuzzled into Harry’s chest, sniffing pitifully and bunching his hands in his shirt. Harry responded with a concerned coo, lavishing him with kisses and stroking his hair back. Scorpius looked up at him with shy eyes, raising a small hand to bat at Harry’s cheek. Draco suppressed an eye-roll. He could hear his boyfriend melting. It was official. His son was an evil genius.
When the man finally resurfaced from his latest bout of Scorpius snuggling, Draco fixed him with a flat look.
“Like. A. Harp.”
Harry huffed. “It’s your own fault for having such a cute kid. Anyway, at least I can get him to eat his lunch without wearing most of it.” He smirked and gestured at the splatters of food decorating Draco’s shirt, eliciting a scowl from his boyfriend.
“Is that so?” Draco challenged, lifting his chin haughtily. “Well go on, miracle worker. Show me how it’s done.”
“Fine,” Harry huffed. “I will.” He turned back to his blond bundle, coaxing Scorpius out of his shoulder. “Feeling better, Blondie?” he asked softly.
“No,” Scorpius mumbled sulkily.
“That’s too bad,” Harry clucked. “How about we get some lunch, hm? You don’t have to have any if you don’t want to.”
Scorpius gave it some thought before responding with a small ‘kay. He allowed Harry to carry him over to the table without any protest, although he did make a face at the bowl of carrot mush still sitting there. Harry sat down with the child in his lap, making a series of insincere, appreciative noises at the unsavoury dish.
“Doesn’t that look good?” he exclaimed.
Scorpius fixed him with a flat unimpressed look, not unlike Draco’s. “No.”
Harry was inclined to agree but Draco was leaning at the door frame, watching the proceedings with amusement and he wasn’t about to back down now.
Squaring his shoulders, he summoned a plate from the kitchen and slopped some of the mush out. “I can’t wait to try some,” he declared, bringing the spoon to his lips and ignoring the protests of his roiling stomach.
Scorpius watched Harry eating the icky stuff with renewed interest. His brow drew down in a thoughtful frown. Well, if Harry was eating it, it couldn’t be that bad…
Meanwhile, Harry was trying very hard not to grimace as he swallowed around a tasteless glob of vegetable. It was especially difficult, since Draco wasn’t even bothering to hide his snickering anymore. Harry fixed him with a disapproving glare and the blond took a deep breath, composing himself.
“See Scorpius?” he said. “Harry’s eating his veggies like a big boy. Don’t you want to be a big boy for Harry?”
“Do you want to try some?” Harry coaxed. “I’m only sharing it with you ‘cause we’re best mates, you know.”
The grown-ups watched with bated breath as Scorpius considered that. Seconds seemed like hours and it seemed that ages had passed when a small set of shoulders shrugged and a ‘kay of approval was finally issued.
Victory!
Harry heaved a sigh of relief and spooned some of the mush in an unresisting Scorpius’ mouth. The child ate without any more tantrums and Harry grinned triumphantly, feeling like he had won a war all over again. “Well?” he demanded, giving his visibly impressed boyfriend a smug look.
“Quit your job,” Draco drawled, leaning over for a quick kiss. “You’re never leaving this house again.”
“Why Draco,” he teased. “Are you asking me to move in?”
The blond flushed, a light pink tinting his cheeks as he regarded Harry. “Maybe,” he whispered softly, a hint of uncertainty in his tone. “Only if you want to, of course. I understand if…”
Harry smiled and pulled him in for a deeper kiss, enjoying a taste of Draco after that god-awful mush. “I’d like that,” he whispered when he finally broke away.
Draco’s eyes widened and an incredulous smile pulled at his lips. The sight warmed Harry’s heart like nothing else. He had always wanted a family so badly and to have one with Draco and Scorpius…how had he gotten so lucky? He kissed his beautiful boyfriend again, only letting him go with a pang of regret.
“We’ll discuss it after you finish feeding the little monster,” Draco smiled. “In the meantime, if nobody minds I’m going in for a shower. Maybe get the stench of carrot out of my hair.”
Harry’s body thrummed with approval at this new information. “Need some help?” he asked.
“Maybe,” Draco replied with a sly grin. “Join me if you can put His Highness down for a nap.” He departed with a wink and Harry watched his retreating back with a fond smile. “Did you hear that, Scorpius?” he said, nuzzling at the little blond in his lap. “I’m going to come live with you.”
“Kay,” Scorpius replied.
Harry chuckled and kissed his forehead. “It’s going to be perfect,” he murmured. Scorpius ignored him in favour of the last spoonful of mush and Harry grinned, cleaning him up and sending the plate back to the kitchen. He could definitely get used to this. The faint sound of the shower drifted down the hall and his grin widened. Speaking of things he could get used to, he still had time to claim his reward. This day was starting to look pretty damn perfect.
“Now then,” Harry grinned, lifting the little blond up. “How about we get you ready for that nap?”
Scorpius blinked seriously at him, before finally voicing a firm, unyielding response.
“No.”
Next Chapter: The Good of the Family