This Could Get Messy (Chapter 3.5)
"What's wrong with Dr. Oliver?" Luke asked Bob as Reid stormed away, flinging a clip board across the hall.
"He lost one on his table about half an hour ago. Thirty five year old mother of two. Auto accident. Massive head trauma. Most surgeons wouldn't have even attempted the surgery...the odds of success were next to nothing."
"Do you know where he was going?"
"Probably the chapel."
"The chapel? Reid?"
"That's where he usually goes."
"Really?" Luke asked, but he was walking away before he could hear the answer.
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"You don't strike me as a religious man," Luke said as he sat down next to Reid in the chapel pew.
Reid raised his head from its hanging position but didn't look at Luke, "I'm not."
"This okay?" Luke asked, gesturing between them.
"Yeah," Reid answered weakly, shaking his head "no," even as his lips said the opposite.
"I heard about your patient. I'm sorry."
"Yeah, well..." but Reid didn't finish the sentence. He slouched down so that his shoulders were low on the back of the pew and his legs were stretched completely out in front of him. He turned his head up toward Luke and watched Luke as his eyes traveled around the chapel.
"Want to talk about it?" Luke asked, not looking at Reid.
"No."
Luke looked over at Reid, and he had an almost unstoppable urge to touch his jaw. He resisted.
"Why do you come here?" Luke asked.
"It's quiet. Empty most times."
"I can go."
"No, you're good."
Both men sat in comfortable silence for a good number of minutes. Reid closed his eyes, and Luke watched the candles flickering near the front of the chapel on the right.
"I always think I can do it." Reid said suddenly, causing Luke to jump.
"Do what?"
"Whatever it is that needs to be done. I have to give patients' families the odds, let them know the risks...but the whole time I'm thinking, 'I've got this,' and then when I fail, it surprises me. Every fucking time."
"I think you're too hard on yourself, Dr. Oliver."
Reid sighed and sat up, leaning forward with his elbows and forearms on his thighs.
He looked back at Luke and their eyes met, and neither one looked away. It wasn't awkward or tense. It was easy.
Reid straightened and bumped Luke's knee with his fist. "You hungry?"
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Half an hour later, they were seated at Al's with a full table of food. Luke had a grilled cheese sandwich and a bowl of chili. Reid had a grilled cheese sandwich, a bowl of chili, a bacon cheeseburger, french fries, and a chocolate shake.
Luke laughed as he watched Reid dipping his french fries into the chocolate shake.
"What?" Reid said, defensively.
"Nothing...it's just...you're a very voracious eater. I don't know where you put it."
"Genius burns a lot of calories."
"Of course it does...but that's just gross." Luke said, shaking his head.
"Don't knock it 'til you try it," Reid said, dipping a fry in the shake and handing it to Luke. "Here."
Luke put the fry in his mouth and chewed. "Yeah, okay...that's not bad actually."
"So," Reid said, "How did your foray to the gay club go?"
"It didn't. We were going two weekends ago, but Casey bailed on me at the last minute."
"He's in denial."
"Shut up," Luke said.
"Mark my words..."
"He was worried that he would get hit on, so he punked out."
"He definitely would have gotten hit on," Reid said, nodding, "Definitely...you too, as you walked in the door, no doubt."
"Well, that's nice of you to say, but..." Luke blushed.
"I don't do nice It's the truth. You're too humble. You need to start owning your distinctions."
"So I can become an ego maniac like you?"
"No, so that you value yourself. Don't wait around expecting other people to validate you."
Luke was suddenly very uncomfortable. "You don't know me at all."
"Maybe not..." Reid shrugged and took a bite of his cheeseburger.
"What's going on here?" Luke asked, eyes down.
Reid didn't answer. Luke looked up and found Reid's eyes on him. "When did we stop hating each other?" Luke asked.
Reid handed Luke another chocolate-covered french fry and smiled. "Who says I don't hate you?"