I Didn't Know Where Else to Go (for fff someone saved my life tonight)
Reid pulled on a pair of sleep pants and opened his bedroom door. He almost bumped into Katie in the dark hallway.
"Who could be here at this hour?" Katie asked, flipping on the hall light.
"Let me get it," Reid said, stepping around Katie, "just in case. Go back in your room with Jake."
Reid walked to the door and asked. "Who is it?"
"It's me."
Luke. Reid's heart jumped in his chest, and his stomach rolled. What the hell was he doing there? Reid hadn't spoken to him outside of neuro wing business except maybe twice in the last four or more months, since Luke had returned to his relationship with Noah, telling Reid that he was attracted him but that he was still in love with Noah. Reid accepted it. He wasn't going to beg. If Luke couldn't see how dysfunctional his relationship was with the formerly blind barrista, that was his problem. Reid would be fine. And he was. Most of the time.
Reid pulled the door open and looked at a very tired-looking Luke. He didn't say anything, giving Luke the opportunity to speak first. After a few moments, Luke said, "Hey," but his eyes darted away from Reid.
"What are you doing here?" Reid asked, crossing his arms over his bare chest.
"I...." Luke began but then just shook his head.
Reid observed that he looked fairly well wrecked, unshaven with dark circles under his eyes, and as angry and then apathetic as he'd felt toward Luke in the last few months, the doctor in him couldn't help but be concerned. "Are you okay?" he asked, stepping closer to Luke. "You look terrible."
Luke huffed out a half-hearted chuckle. "Thanks, Doc," but then he shook his head and Reid could see the tears in his eyes. He looked off to the side and said, "I didn't know where else to go." He tried to take a step backward, but Reid stepped forward further and put his hand on Luke's arm to stop him.
"Okay," Reid said gently, surprised at feeling an overwhelming desire to protect Luke. "Okay. You're here. Talk to me."
Luke tried to speak, but he looked uncertain, and Reid saw his lip wobble, so he dropped his hand to Luke's and squeezed it. "Hey, you're safe here, okay? Talk to me, Luke. What happened?"
Luke wiped at his eye. "I've been drinking." Reid nodded but didn't say anything. "Not tonight, but lately." Luke closed his eyes. "I want to drink so bad right now." A sob escaped his throat. "I'm sorry, Reid....I'm so sorry..."
"Hey, hey," Reid said putting his arm around Luke's shoulder and pulling him into an embrace. "Hey, now...you're okay. I've got you, alright?"
Luke shook his head and pushed at Reid's chest. "No, no, no....I don't deserve your help. I'm sorry, Reid........I can't........I'm just so sorry."
Reid put his hand on the back of Luke's head and held him tighter,until he felt Luke stop fighting the embrace. He then pulled back and took Luke's face in his hands. "Hey, I don't care about that. It doesn't matter right now, alright? Please, let me help you. I care about you, Luke. Okay?" Luke nodded. "Tell me what you need." Luke shook his head. "Okay, listen, you're here, tell me what you were hoping for by coming here. Anything, Luke."
Luke clung to Reid, the pads of his fingers, digging into the muscles in Reid's back. "This," Luke said, his tears warm on Reid's shoulder. "Please, Reid...just this."
"You've got it," Reid said, stepping backward and pulling Luke with him, closing the door, and holding Luke tightly. He hugged Luke for a good number of minutes, running his hands soothingly over his back and shoulders, kissing the side of his head, speaking words of comfort against his ear. He didn't ask him anymore questions, knowing that if Luke wanted to talk he would. Right then, he knew that Luke just needed a safe place. He needed someone who wouldn't berate him or tell him all that he was doing wrong. He didn't need someone being overprotective or telling him how reckless he was being with his precious life. Reid instinctively knew that what Luke needed at that point was refuge in the arms of someone who cared about him. In a strange way, Reid was grateful that in a time of desperation, Luke reached out to him. Yeah, maybe that was a little messed up in it's own way, but in that moment Reid didn't care.
After a few minutes, Reid pulled back and wiped at the tears on Luke's cheeks. "Do you want to stay here tonight?"
Luke sniffed and looked off to the side.
Reid smiled and thumbed Luke's chin. "I don't mean that......well, unless you want to." He waggled his eyebrows. ; That got a small smile out of Luke and he rolled his eyes. "I'm kidding, Mr. Snyder. But it's nearly two o'clock, and you look tired, and I know I'm tired, so do you want to stay here or not? And just so you know, I'm not letting you leave in this state, so you might as well just say, 'yes,' so that we can go to sleep, rather than staying up and arguing about it."
Luke nodded. "Yes. Thanks, Reid."
"Anything for you," Reid answered, and God help him, he meant it. He leaned forward and gently kissed Luke on the lips. "I just want you to be okay." Luke looked like he might start crying again, so Reid took him by the hand and led him to his room.
Once Luke had changed into a pair of Reid's sleep pants, he laid down in the bed. Reid could tell that Luke felt awkward lying next to him, so he pulled the sheet up over both of them, put his arm around Luke, and spooned up behind him, his nose pressed against the back of Luke's neck. "Relax, okay?" Luke nodded, and Reid felt Luke's body ease back into his embrace. "I'm glad you came here," Reid said.
"Me too." Luke's voice cracked.
Reid's arm tightened around Luke's waist, drawing him closer. "We'll talk more in the morning, if you're ready."
Luke nodded, and both men fell silent, sleep easily overtaking them.