My Deathbed (part 5)
note: I imagine Reid's dad as looking and sounding like the show's Uncle Angus. However, there's no Uncle Angus in this world.
ELLA OLIVER
When you have a child, nobody prepares you for how much you are going to love that child.
You think that you know what love is. You love your parents. You love your brothers and sisters. You love your grandparents. You love your husband. Simple, right? But then this child, this tiny human being that's half you and half of the person you love most in this world, comes out of your body, and you realize that all these years of your life, you were ignorant of your capacity for love. It overwhelms you. It's like a tidal wave of emotion, and you look at your husband, and you feel guilty that you never loved him like this. You are suddenly awed at the realization of how much your mother loves YOU.
And you want everything for that child. EVERYTHING. Most of all, you want him to be happy, and you do everything in your power to provide that happiness.
But as that child grows, as the toddler turns into the young child, and the child turns into the teen, and the teen turns into the man, you lose sight of wanting his happiness, and you start to project your own ideas of happiness onto him. But being an individual and having his own ideas of happiness, as all individuals do, he rejects your ideas of what he needs and pursues his own. And you, YOU, knowing what's best for YOUR child, you dismiss his notions and try to steer him back on course. You want him to be successful. You want his life to be easy. And you see him making choices that will make his life decidedly not easy.
Over the years, the resentment builds, to the point where your child, your dear sweet beautiful child, in protecting himself, turns away from you. Lives his own life. And you stubbornly, pridefully, allow the distance, the growing unbreechable distance.
And then one day, the world stops turning and it falls off its axis because your child is bleeding and broken. And all you want, please God, please, is for him to wake up and be whole so that he can live that life. HIS life. HIS happiness.
And finally, one day, on an ordinary spring day, you walk into a morning-lit room, your eyes falling upon the child that you love, miraculously whole and healing, sleeping peacefully, his body curled protectively around another woman's child. And that tidal wave of emotion hits you all over again, the same one that overcame you the day he was born, and you struggle to stay standing as you thank fate, and God, and the universe for giving you this second chance to know him, to love him for who he is, for who he always knew he was.
You place the items in your hand on the table by the door.
You back out of the room slowly, silently begging him to forgive you.
And you leave your child in a quiet, sunlit room, on an ordinary spring day, wrapped up in the man he loves.
*************************************************************
JOHN OLIVER
"I've missed this..." Luke said, nipping at Reid's bottom lip.
"Mmm--hmmmm" Reid replied, his hand underneath Luke's shirt, his fingers tugging at the hair near his navel.
Early morning sunlight streamed in through the hospital room window. Reid's shirt rested forgotten on his pillow, and he sat forward away from the back of the bed, leaning into Luke.
Luke, for his part, was practically straddling Reid's lap.
Their tongues played in each others mouths, their hands roamed, and they were, for lack of better words, making the hell out. For further lack of better words, they were freaking into it, and for this reason they didn't hear the door open.
"Oh, Jesus H. Christ!"
John Oliver spun around and faced the door he had just come through, covering his eyes with his free hand, a bag dangling out of his other.
"Hey, Dad..." Reid smiled as Luke jumped off the bed, straightening his jeans and trying to pull down his too-short shirt to hide his growing erection.
"Good morning, John," Luke said, blushing, pushing his hands in his pockets.
"Yeah, good morning, Luke," Reid's father said as he turned around hesitantly and walked toward the bed, not knowing where to look and rubbing his free hand over his face. "Here," he threw the bag onto Reid's lap from about three feet away. "I was on my way to work, and I thought you might like some donuts from that place near the house that you love. There's enough for you too, Luke."
"Doubt it," Luke laughed, "Seems Reid's finally gotten his appetite back...ten fold."
Reid pulled his shirt on over his head.
John ran his hand through his gray hair, clearly uncomfortable. "Sorry to interrupt...lord...ANYWAY, I also wanted to tell you that your mother and I are excited about you coming home tomorrow. The contractors are finishing the bathroom modification today. My study is now a bedroom, and it looks great. It's got a king sized bed, a wide screen TV, a couple of dressers, a computer desk. It's ready to go. Your mother has gone out and bought you way too many clothes, and they are in the closet, ready for you. And Luke," John contined, turning toward Luke, "She bought you a Bruins shirt because if you keep wearing that Blackhawks jersey in the streets of Boston, you're going to get your ass kicked. Honestly. It's a safety issue."
Luke laughed. "It's nice of you to worry about me."
"And, uh..." John said tentatively, "Ella and I have talked about it, Luke, and we'd like you to stay at our house too, at least for a little while if you would like. I know you and Lucinda have your apartment nearby, but I really think it would be good for you to be close...as in under the same roof as Reid, since that's basically where you 've been for the past eight months and more importantly, during these past couple of weeks that he's been recuperating. That is, unless you have any objections..."
Luke beamed. "No....no....no objections at all. Thank you. That's very generous of you." He turned and smiled at Reid, who smiled back.
"Thanks, Dad," Reid said, holding up the bag of donuts.
"Yeah...okay, yeah...well then, I've got to get to work. You two can get back to whatever it is that you were doing...Christ almighty..." John circled his hand in the air and spun around on his heel and seemed not to be able to get out of the room quick enough.
Reid called out, "Sorry you had to walk in on that. I know it's killing you..."
The elder Oliver stopped immediately. He turned back around and slowly walked back to Reid's bed, crossing his arms over his chest. He approached Reid's bed, looking him in the eye, and asked, "Are you an idiot?"
Luke was startled by the guffaw that escaped his own mouth, and he put his hand up over his lips to stifle the laughter that wanted to creep out.
John leaned down and pressed his lips to Reid's forehead, placing one.......two kisses there. "Idiot," he repeated as he stood up. "Killing me? No. Killing me was seeing you in that hospital bed, holding on to life by a thread. I'll tell you what would kill me. What would have killed me is if you had died."
"This," he continued, knocking Luke in the chest with the back of his hand while still looking at Reid, "This is a good man. A good man who loves my son."
Reid nodded. So did Luke.
"And who saved your life," John concluded.
"He's still saving it..." Reid added, noticing the sudden watery sheen in his father's eyes.
"And this," John said, "Gesturing between Reid and Luke, "I'll tell you what this is. This. This...it's a learning curve for me, that's what it is....but I'll get there, okay? I'm trying."'
"I know you are, dad," Reid said, suddenly feeling sorry for his remark. "I do."
"Okay," John said, "Right, then. I have to go..." He nodded towards Luke and made his way out the door.
Luke glanced over at Reid, who was still staring after his father. "You okay?"
"Yeah..." Reid's brow furrowed, and he shook his head. "Twenty five years I've been waiting for him to..." He shook his head again.
"I love your dad. He reminds me SO much of you, Reid. You are your father's son..."
Reid laughed. "Thanks for the compliment?"
************************************************************
HOMECOMING
"What do you think?" John Oliver asked as he walked into the bedroom and put Luke's suitcase at the foot of the bed.
"It's great," Reid said, breathing a little hard and leaning on the walker.
"Hey," Luke said, putting his arm around Reid. "Okay, I've got you. C'mon, let's sit." He walked Reid over to the bed, and Reid sat down. Luke handed Reid his bottle of water and Reid gulped it down.
"Better?" Luke asked.
Reid nodded "I'm just tired. Winded, I guess."
"You did a lot today," Ella said. "Why don't we leave you two alone, and you can get settled in and then rest. Oh, and Luke, there are empty hangers on the right side of the closet, and this bureau is for you."
Luke stood up. "Oh...um...you want me to stay in here?"
"It's up to you," Ella said. "We just figured this is where you would want to sleep."
Luke blushed. "Yeah, of course, but I'm a guest in your house, and I'll follow your rules."
John huffed. "Don't be an idiot. You think we don't know that you've been squeezing into that hospital bed together every night? Sleep in here because it's where you want to sleep, and it's where Reid wants you to sleep. Decision made?" John didn't wait for Luke to answer. "Good."
Luke just nodded and blushed some more.
Reid rolled his eyes at Luke's embarrassment.
Ella kissed Reid on the cheek. "I'm glad you're home."
"Me too."
She reached out and put her hand on Luke's arm. "And I'm glad you're here also. Please, our home is your home. Don't be shy about anything okay. You don't need to ask permission; anything in the kitchen is yours. Just make sure you get to the table before Reid at mealtimes, or you might not get to eat."
Luke tapped the walker and said in a low voice, "I think I can beat him there." He grinned.
"Hey, I'm getting speedy with that thing," Reid joked, but his voice was weak.
Ella looked worried.
"I'm exhausted," Luke lied, deflecting the attention off of Reid. "Since we're going out to dinner tonight to celebrate, I think I'd like to rest. Take a nap. Whaddya say, Reid?"
"Yeah, okay."
"Let's get out of here, El..." John said.
As they exited the room, John looked back at Reid, raised his eyebrows, and smiled. Reid nodded, and John pulled the door closed.
Luke approcahed the closed door. He fiddled with the door handle. "Reid, this door has a lock on it."
He practically bounced over to Reid, smiling slyly. "And this bed is HUGE...And there are no nurses to barge in here in the middle of the night to stick a needle in your butt or a thermometer in your mouth." He pulled at the top button on Reid's shirt.
"Who are those people?"
Luke laughed. "What are you talking about? And did you hear me? Door lock, big bed, no interruptions..."
"They must be alien pod people..."
"Reid, cut it out. They're great."
"Did you see my dad? Yesterday he about had an aneurysm when he walked in on us making out, but just now he fucking waggled his eyebrows at me on the way out...like 'Don't do anything I wouldn't do.' I think I'm in an alternate universe...Bizarro World or something.'"
Luke laughed. "Oh, no...not Superman references...stop, because next you'll be quoting Yoda. You're such a nerd." He kissed Reid on top of the head and knelt on the floor in front of him. "Okay if I help you off with these?" He tapped Reid's foot.
"Yeah, thanks...and you get the reference, so you're a dork too. Don't fool yourself. Really though, I can't get over my father. I"ve hated him for years. I'm not too sure how to like him."
"You never hated him..." Luke said, removing Reid's shoes and socks.
Reid ignored him. "How did you win him over so easily?"
"I'm charming, don't you know that by now? And I have this smile," Luke joked, giving Reid a fake grin, "People are powerless against it...look at you. You hated me, and now you are crazy in love with me."
"I think I'm just crazy..." Reid ran his hand into Luke's hair.
Luke put his forehead on Reid's knee and pushed his hand up Reid's pant legs to massage his calves and ankles. "I've noticed your left foot is dragging less. The PT is working."
"Not fast enough. I hate this fucking thing," Reid frowned, knocking the back of his hand against the walker.
"I know. The cane's here though. You can use it here in the house. I'll spot you...Your dad's a good guy, Reid. He's stubborn and pig headed, but so are you, and I can see why you butt heads so much over the years, but underneath it, he's just like you too...and it's the underneath part that I love about you. "
"When I was seventeen, we got into a fight...I can't even tell you what it was about, but I was pretty angry and talking a lot of shit, and he called me a faggot. I've never forgotten that...fuck." Reid bristled at the memory.
"And you think he's forgotten it?" Luke kicked off his shoes and helped Reid to scoot back on the bed until both of their heads were on their pillows. "Let me tell you something about your dad. Three or four days after we got here, I came into your hospital room, and he was sitting at your bedside, holding your hand. It was in a cast, and he just sat there, stroking your fingers and talking to you quietly. When I approached, he asked me if you were happy before the accident. I told him that I thought you were."
"I was..."
"I told him that we had that new relationship high happening and that things had been going really well for you at work." Luke began unbuttoning Reid's shirt while he talked. "I told him about the neuro wing and that you were up for the Chief of Staff position. Reid, he was so proud of you....and then he thanked me for loving you."
"All it took was an 18-wheeler running my ass over for him to be proud of me."
"Reid, cut it out. He was always proud of you. Don't you get it? He has a tremendous amount of regret. You need to forgive him. If not for him, then for yourself. And stop resenting him for the fact that there was so much distance between you. It's a two way street."
"You think it was MY fault?"
"Not necessarily...but you both gave up fighting for each other. That's all I'm saying. And I know you said that it didn't bother you, that you didn't care what he thought, but Reid, we all want our parents' approval, and it hurts when we dont' get it. So, stop pretending."
"I hate when you fucking psychoanalyze me."
"No, you hate it when I'm right."
Reid sighed. "I want to stop talking now."
"Okay," Luke sighed and put his head on Reid's chest and breathed out contentedly. "I can't believe you were going to give this sexy heart to that asshat, Chris Hughes."
"You say things like that, Luke, and I can't help but love you."
************************************************
AND YOU ARE?
The celebration dinner was enjoyable. The conversation between the Olivers, Luke, and Lucinda was easy and lively. Reid managed to eat all of his dinner and half of Luke's.
Reid had just asked for a dessert menu, when a gentleman approached their table.
"John?"
"Franklin! Fancy meeting you here..."
Reid leaned into Luke and whispered. "Here it comes. My dad is nothing if not polite. He'll introduce us to his friend there, and he'll introduce you as my 'friend' or 'colleague.' Wait for it."
Luke looked up in time to see John introducing Franklin to Lucinda and Lucinda looking smitten. Luke laughed.
"And this," John continued with the introductions, "Is my son, Dr. Reid Oliver. Reid, this is Dr. Franklin Morris. He's a professor at M.I.T." Reid shook his hand and smiled.
"And last, but not least, Franklin, this is Luke Snyder. He is Reid's..."
"Here it comes," Reid said under his breath.
"I'm sorry, Luke," John said tentatively. "How shall I introduce you? Boyfriend? Partner?"
"Boyfriend's fine," Luke said, extending his hand to Franklin, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Morris."
"Likewise."
As the conversation turned to Lucinda and Walsh Enterprises, Reid leaned in towards Luke. "See? What did I tell you? POD people."
*****************************************************
HEALING
The physical therapy room was mostly empty because of the holiday.
Reid and Luke stood roughly thirty feet from his parents.
"You ready?" Luke asked.
"As I'll ever be..." Reid replied, mouth in a straight line, left hand tapping his thigh nervously.
"I'm so proud of you," Luke said, which made Reid roll his eyes.
"Okay, enough mush," Reid huffed. "Here, take this." He handed Luke the cane he had been leaning on with his right hand.
Reid took a deep breath and stepped forward with his left foot, followed by his right, followed by his left. His movements were not completely fluid yet, but his left foot didn't drag, and his hips no longer caused him pain. He walked forward slowly, head up, face emotionless. As he made his way across the expanse toward his parents, he caught his mother's glistening eyes, and she stepped toward him slightly and held open her arms.
When Reid reached his mother, he fell smiling into her embrace. He looked over his shoulder at Luke and winked, mouthing the words "thank you."
Reid then turned back around and kissed his mother's wet cheek. "Happy Mother's Day, Mom."