4.5.
well hello there. how you doin'? last time, Casey tried to have "dad talks" with his kids and failed massively, the Doyle children had Prom Night, which was an epic success, and Brendan gave zero fucks. now, on with the last update for this generation!
we be startin' out this bad boy with Itsy and Katelyn's honors ceremony, which Brendan was late for, because frankly my dear, he DNGAF.
Katelyn was Valedictorian, Itsy got voted most likely to succeed or something to that effect, and they both got a zillion awards for their after school classes.
Katelyn went home and immediately started geeking out on the game console. i am sort of frightened by the new game animations they put on here, i mean wtf is that even supposed to be? Sim Zoo? idek.
the next day was Itsy and Katelyn's birthday! I AM SO EXCITED. hotness will surely commence.
hot bitch.
i am still awed by EA's genes on this one, hot damn Itsy you be fiiiiine.
immediately after (because Itsy is a bawss):
he took Katie out into the backyard where they used to play back when he was still an imaginary friend that bebopped all over the yard like a dumbass, and it went down a little something like this:
Itsy: Okay, wait a second, let me get down on my knee here...
Katie: You want to do it out here? Are you insane, my dad can see out here and everything-
Itsy: Will- Wait, what? Girl you nasty, that wasn't what I was going to do, damn.
Itsy: Why would you even think- You know what? Nevermind.
Itsy: ANYWAY. Katelyn Doyle, I have loved you ever since I can remember - which sadly my memory is quite small, considering I was an imaginary friend and I can't really recall anything before then, but I digress - and have been waiting to ask you this question until we were old enough for your father not to kick me in the face for even contemplating it.
Katelyn: OMIGODOMIGOD.
Itsy: BAM! *dazzlesparkleshine*
Katie: *hyperventilates*
Katie: *sob* Oh *snivel* my *bawl* god *wail*!
Katie: IS THIS FROM TIFFANY'S OMIGAWD.
Itsy: Bitch please, do I look like I can afford Tiffany's? Reality check.
Katie: Just STFU and put it on.
Katie: WAIT UNTIL I SHOW THAT BITCH YOANNA, TAKE THAT YOU WHORE.
Itsy: All righty, good to know where your priorities lie.
<3<3<3
Itsy: Okay, now do you want to do it, because I think we can both fit in the treehouse.
Katie: *gigglegiggle* You so dirty!
Itsy: I am totally not joking, let's rock that treehouse, baby.
Katie: LOL WUT?
Katie: This is me and Itsy, FOREVER IN LOVE. It's so beautiful.
um, you might want to work on that shit, Picaso.
Katie: Hey dad! Itsy and I are getting married!
Casey: That's gr- back the fuck up, did you just say 'married'. I think... I am... having... heart attack. Hnnnghhh.
Brendan: Dude. Still not caring. GTFO.
Itsy: So... I guess you've heard?
Ana: I think the whole neighborhood has heard after Casey nearly popped a vein.
Itsy: Yeeeaaah.
Katie: *trash talks*
sorry, that was just way too easy >.>
Itsy: Dat one helluva foot massage.
all right, it was around this point that i installed LN and made an executive decision to move them to Queenstown, because i cannot be arsed to put in the lots myself in Sunet Valley (mainly because all the lot sizes are so fucking awkward, thanks EA you pricks).
the house is a lot smaller than their old SV house, but it's not too bad, and it's a bit contemporary, but all in all a nice house.
it's no palace, but it'll more than do. besides:
look at that view. gawjuss.
first order of business: Bachelor/ette parties.
Itsy: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Katie: But we're just going downtown.
Itsy: Semantics, woman.
Itsy: All right babe, see you tomorrow morning. Don't do anything I wouldn't do and all that jazz.
Katelyn and her measly two friends went off to the dance club to spend their evening.
Katie: I hope this isn't a total bust.
*dancedance*
a celeb showed up, so the barkeep kept making this face. i was like, lol wtf are you even doing?
Katie: Oookay, I am going to get us some drinks before one of us gets lit on fire.
Katie: Yo, 'keep!
Barman: ... did you eat paint chips as a kid? I am standing right in front of you, put your damn hand down, crazy.
Katie: Pour a couple drinks for me and my ladies, so we can get crunk up in this bitch.
Barman: Good god, kill me now.
Katie: *cracks knuckles* All right, bitches. Let's get a little silly.
*gulp*
10 mins later:
Katie: I HAVE FUZZY NECTAR, OPEN YOUR MOUTH SLUT!
Friend (i am so terrible with remembering these things): SHIT YES! YOU THE MAN!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL XD
*techno music dance sequence*
FIERCE. ROOOWWWRRR.
Pap: *snapsnap*
Barman: Get the fuck out of here, douchebag.
MEANWHILE:
*strut*
Itsy and his... one friend. how sad. anyway, HEY THAT ASSHOLE IS WEARING ITSY'S SUIT. what a dick!
Friend (lol, i am so pathetic): This place is kind of lame, man.
Itsy: Here, drink this, you need to loosen that stick shoved up your ass.
Friend: Asshole.
Itsy: I ain't sure what this is, but it tastes like fruity delicious and I can't feel my toes.
Friend: Ah, shit...
10 mins later:
Itsy: YEAAAAH! WOOOO! YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *parties like its frackin' 1999*
Itsy: Shtep ashide, dickhead. *hic*
diaf cell phone, always ruining my shots you bastard DX
Itsy: UN! You like that? I know you do. BOOM!
FIIIERRRCCCEEEE
*wiggle/gyrate*
Itsy: *hipthrust*
Friend: Ah, god get the hell down from there, you ass.
Itsy: SCHWING. You scared, you scared.
Friend: That was one part of you, Itsy, that I never wanted to see. Ever.
Itsy: Don't be hatin'. *hic*
Katelyn drags her ass out of the dance club in the wee hours of the morning, and some vampire chick wanted to spray her in the face with fizzy nectar even though the sun was burning her to a crisp.
Katelyn: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! *gurgle*
Vamp Lady: *sizzle burn*
Brendan: AHAHAHA! Bitch is gonna die! AHAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
sadist.
and thus concluded epic bachelor/ette part night.
which was followed by Ian's birthday!
Itsy: WHEE!
Katie: *is hung over* Yay.
Ana: YEEEEEAAAH! BIRTHDAAAAY TIIIIEEEEEMMMMM NAAAAOOOOO.
simmer down, damn.
Casey: Does this mean they're all going to finally get the hell out of my house? OH HAPPY DAY! :D
i wish that i were making this up, but this was his expression throughout the entire thing. Brendan fans, you're welcome.
Ian: I DUN WANNA!
and his trend of douchebaggery continues.
Ian: *come hither smile*
do not want.
Itsy: Do you mind?
ooops... how'd that get in there? *whistles innocently*
Casey: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU BASTARDS SO I CAN GO ON VACATION! And while you're at it, make me some damn grand-babies!
all righty, take one last look at your candidates:
and go VOTE! :D
we be startin' out this bad boy with Itsy and Katelyn's honors ceremony, which Brendan was late for, because frankly my dear, he DNGAF.
Katelyn was Valedictorian, Itsy got voted most likely to succeed or something to that effect, and they both got a zillion awards for their after school classes.
Katelyn went home and immediately started geeking out on the game console. i am sort of frightened by the new game animations they put on here, i mean wtf is that even supposed to be? Sim Zoo? idek.
the next day was Itsy and Katelyn's birthday! I AM SO EXCITED. hotness will surely commence.
hot bitch.
i am still awed by EA's genes on this one, hot damn Itsy you be fiiiiine.
immediately after (because Itsy is a bawss):
he took Katie out into the backyard where they used to play back when he was still an imaginary friend that bebopped all over the yard like a dumbass, and it went down a little something like this:
Itsy: Okay, wait a second, let me get down on my knee here...
Katie: You want to do it out here? Are you insane, my dad can see out here and everything-
Itsy: Will- Wait, what? Girl you nasty, that wasn't what I was going to do, damn.
Itsy: Why would you even think- You know what? Nevermind.
Itsy: ANYWAY. Katelyn Doyle, I have loved you ever since I can remember - which sadly my memory is quite small, considering I was an imaginary friend and I can't really recall anything before then, but I digress - and have been waiting to ask you this question until we were old enough for your father not to kick me in the face for even contemplating it.
Katelyn: OMIGODOMIGOD.
Itsy: BAM! *dazzlesparkleshine*
Katie: *hyperventilates*
Katie: *sob* Oh *snivel* my *bawl* god *wail*!
Katie: IS THIS FROM TIFFANY'S OMIGAWD.
Itsy: Bitch please, do I look like I can afford Tiffany's? Reality check.
Katie: Just STFU and put it on.
Katie: WAIT UNTIL I SHOW THAT BITCH YOANNA, TAKE THAT YOU WHORE.
Itsy: All righty, good to know where your priorities lie.
<3<3<3
Itsy: Okay, now do you want to do it, because I think we can both fit in the treehouse.
Katie: *gigglegiggle* You so dirty!
Itsy: I am totally not joking, let's rock that treehouse, baby.
Katie: LOL WUT?
Katie: This is me and Itsy, FOREVER IN LOVE. It's so beautiful.
um, you might want to work on that shit, Picaso.
Katie: Hey dad! Itsy and I are getting married!
Casey: That's gr- back the fuck up, did you just say 'married'. I think... I am... having... heart attack. Hnnnghhh.
Brendan: Dude. Still not caring. GTFO.
Itsy: So... I guess you've heard?
Ana: I think the whole neighborhood has heard after Casey nearly popped a vein.
Itsy: Yeeeaaah.
Katie: *trash talks*
sorry, that was just way too easy >.>
Itsy: Dat one helluva foot massage.
all right, it was around this point that i installed LN and made an executive decision to move them to Queenstown, because i cannot be arsed to put in the lots myself in Sunet Valley (mainly because all the lot sizes are so fucking awkward, thanks EA you pricks).
the house is a lot smaller than their old SV house, but it's not too bad, and it's a bit contemporary, but all in all a nice house.
it's no palace, but it'll more than do. besides:
look at that view. gawjuss.
first order of business: Bachelor/ette parties.
Itsy: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.
Katie: But we're just going downtown.
Itsy: Semantics, woman.
Itsy: All right babe, see you tomorrow morning. Don't do anything I wouldn't do and all that jazz.
Katelyn and her measly two friends went off to the dance club to spend their evening.
Katie: I hope this isn't a total bust.
*dancedance*
a celeb showed up, so the barkeep kept making this face. i was like, lol wtf are you even doing?
Katie: Oookay, I am going to get us some drinks before one of us gets lit on fire.
Katie: Yo, 'keep!
Barman: ... did you eat paint chips as a kid? I am standing right in front of you, put your damn hand down, crazy.
Katie: Pour a couple drinks for me and my ladies, so we can get crunk up in this bitch.
Barman: Good god, kill me now.
Katie: *cracks knuckles* All right, bitches. Let's get a little silly.
*gulp*
10 mins later:
Katie: I HAVE FUZZY NECTAR, OPEN YOUR MOUTH SLUT!
Friend (i am so terrible with remembering these things): SHIT YES! YOU THE MAN!
LOOOOOOOOOOOOL XD
*techno music dance sequence*
FIERCE. ROOOWWWRRR.
Pap: *snapsnap*
Barman: Get the fuck out of here, douchebag.
MEANWHILE:
*strut*
Itsy and his... one friend. how sad. anyway, HEY THAT ASSHOLE IS WEARING ITSY'S SUIT. what a dick!
Friend (lol, i am so pathetic): This place is kind of lame, man.
Itsy: Here, drink this, you need to loosen that stick shoved up your ass.
Friend: Asshole.
Itsy: I ain't sure what this is, but it tastes like fruity delicious and I can't feel my toes.
Friend: Ah, shit...
10 mins later:
Itsy: YEAAAAH! WOOOO! YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! *parties like its frackin' 1999*
Itsy: Shtep ashide, dickhead. *hic*
diaf cell phone, always ruining my shots you bastard DX
Itsy: UN! You like that? I know you do. BOOM!
FIIIERRRCCCEEEE
*wiggle/gyrate*
Itsy: *hipthrust*
Friend: Ah, god get the hell down from there, you ass.
Itsy: SCHWING. You scared, you scared.
Friend: That was one part of you, Itsy, that I never wanted to see. Ever.
Itsy: Don't be hatin'. *hic*
Katelyn drags her ass out of the dance club in the wee hours of the morning, and some vampire chick wanted to spray her in the face with fizzy nectar even though the sun was burning her to a crisp.
Katelyn: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!! *gurgle*
Vamp Lady: *sizzle burn*
Brendan: AHAHAHA! Bitch is gonna die! AHAAAHAHAHAHAHA!
sadist.
and thus concluded epic bachelor/ette part night.
which was followed by Ian's birthday!
Itsy: WHEE!
Katie: *is hung over* Yay.
Ana: YEEEEEAAAH! BIRTHDAAAAY TIIIIEEEEEMMMMM NAAAAOOOOO.
simmer down, damn.
Casey: Does this mean they're all going to finally get the hell out of my house? OH HAPPY DAY! :D
i wish that i were making this up, but this was his expression throughout the entire thing. Brendan fans, you're welcome.
Ian: I DUN WANNA!
and his trend of douchebaggery continues.
Ian: *come hither smile*
do not want.
Itsy: Do you mind?
ooops... how'd that get in there? *whistles innocently*
Casey: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU BASTARDS SO I CAN GO ON VACATION! And while you're at it, make me some damn grand-babies!
all righty, take one last look at your candidates:
and go VOTE! :D