i come bearing fic....
Twas the Night Before Christmas
by tomoyohime8
christmas crack!fic in store. thou hast been warned.
forgive me.
T’was the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring
Not even a mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care
In hopes that Saint Nicholas
Soon would be there
The children were all -
Unfortunately, my dear readers, this is not at all how it really happened.
The real story is actually something quite different.
“Oi.”
“Shh! Do you want to wake the entire city? And aren’t you supposed to be in bed at this hour?”
“ I’m eighteen, not five.”
“Then you should start acting like it!”
“Are you some sort of cosplaying burglar?”
“I am NOT a burglar. Can’t you see that I’m an elf?”
“Aren’t you too tall to be an elf?”
“I’m an elf, not a dwarf. Learn the difference, idiot.”
Watanuki looks at his watch, and curses. “Now look what you’ve done! You’ve made me late! I’m going to have to make Mokona go faster if I want to make it in time!”
“For what?”
“To deliver presents, of course!”
“Isn’t that Santa’s job?”
Watanuki rolls his eyes in exasperation.
“Of course it’s Santa’s job. But Santa’s just a good-for-nothing alcoholic who spends the entire year drinking sake! And on Christmas Eve, when she’s supposed to be working, she’s too hung over to do it, so she sends me to do it for her, insisting that I wear this stupid costume as well!”
“…”
“Do you have anything else to say??”
“It’s almost dawn.”
“Don’t you think I know that? It’s your entire fault anyway.”
“You’re also standing under mistletoe.”
“What about it?”
“With me.”
Watanuki’s eyes widen with horror.
He tries to move away but is unable to; His feat are stuck to the floor. He curses again, muttering things like “Stupid binding magic”, “stupid Doumeki, and “damn you Yuuko” under his breath.
He glares at Doumeki.
“If you put your tongue in my mouth I will personally make sure you end up on the naughty list for life!”
Doumeki smirks.
“I certainly hope so.”
****
But I heard him explain, ‘ere he drove out of sight
Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!
“You’re ending up on the naughty list you ungrateful hentai!”
***
Doumeki chuckled and opens the present Watanuki had unwillingly handed out to him.
There were two bundles inside. The first one was clumsily wrapped in glaringly bright paper. He opens this one first.
It was a video phone. He calls the number on it.
“Good morning Doumeki-kun!” Yuuko chirps out. She doesn’t look the least bit hungover.
“Yuuko-san.” He nods to her in greeting.
Yuuko smiles.
“I trust you find your gift satisfactory?”
“Yes, have you received the payment?’
“The mokonas and I plan to have a very merry Christmas this year.”
“I want a copy.”
“It will cost you extra.”
“The price should be the original copy, shouldn’t it?”
“I can never cheat you, can I, Doumeki-kun? Very well. It will be sent to you in the usual manner. Watanuki will deliver it after all the Christmas presents have been sent out. Gift wrapped of course.”
“Good.”
“Merry Christmas Doumeki-kun!”
The call ends and Doumeki takes out the second package. Unlike the previous gift, it is very carefully wrapped, the tape used to put it together cut into the same lengths. He opens it, trying not to tear the wrapper apart.
Inside is a scarf, and a box. The scarf matches the mittens he was given a few years ago.
The box contains inarizushi, and a card. It reads.
This better last until tomorrow.
I'm not making more until then.
-K.
Doumeki smiles and looks up the sky. In the distance he could hear a faint OHO HO HO HO.
He got what he wished for after all.
will shamelessly *hint* for art after this... watanuki in an elf suit, under the mistletoe with doumeki?