Control -- 04
Title: Control -- 04
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to vol. 8
Summary: Doumeki confessed to Watanuki, but he said that he will not return his feelings. What Doumeki doesn't know is that Watanuki is running.
AN: I tried to think of ways to make this chapter not cliché, but it didn't work. That's why it took so long... I'm sorry! I'll make the next chapter as original as possible! T-T
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All motion seemed to stop and everything suddenly seemed too quiet, a major difference to what had been happening a minute ago. Nothing but Watanuki's harsh breathing and an occasional drip from his soaked clothing could be heard, not even Mokona or the Twins usually contestant laughter in the any of the other rooms. Yuuko stood a few feet behind him with an empty bucket that had previously held the ice and water that had kept her alcohol cooled, her other hand resting gently on her hip.
Watanuki slowly lowered himself to the floor, sitting on the back of his legs. The palms of his hands slid down the door with him, allowing where gravity took them, but never left the doors surface. Some of the ice crunched under his legs while the rest starting to melt under the heat of his body. The cold rooted him to what was happening around him and kept his mind from wandering.
“Watanuki.”
Watanuki didn't move from his spot, but settled on concentrating on catching his breath. Once he had it mostly under control, he coughed before he leaned his head against the cool surface of the door. Yuuko remained standing, letting him calm down, knowing it'd take longer if she prodded him before he was ready.
It took maybe five minutes, but seemed to take a whole lot longer, before Watanuki spoke. “The boy...when I was younger, the first friend I made after my parents had died.“He was a spirit. I didn't know. He was so kind to me.” He was rambling and he knew what he was saying didn't make much sense, but he figured Yuuko would know what he was talking about. “My parents...obviously.” He snorted with disgust. “Zashiki Warashi and my eye.” He continued to list clenching his fists, “And...the Lady.” He finished before lightly banging one of his hands on the door, making no more than a quiet 'thud'. “All of them. Something terrible or spirits....something will always happen.” His voice trembled and tears started to gather in the corners of his eyes.
He turned to face in Yuuko direction and sat so he was once again leaning against the door with his legs pulled up towards his chest, his arms between them. “I don't.” He started, slowly looking up towards her with tear clouded eyes, “Doumeki....I can't.” He closed his eyes and lightly banged his head back against the door, the tears making two small trails down the sides of his face. “I can't.”
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Watanuki was too physically and emotionally drained to take advantage of Yuuko's previous offer of leaving the shop for the day. He decided he'd stay the night, against his better judgment, because he didn't want to walk home and didn't think he'd make it. Yuuko had left him alone in his room for most of the evening, checking on him once a few hours after dinner to find him asleep. Seeing as he hadn't slept well the night before, she left him until she knew he'd be awake again.
It was 1:44am when Yuuko walked into the room Watanuki would be staying in for the night. Watanuki was still laying in his bed with his arm draped over his forehead, a small headache pounding away at his skull. He didn't move when he heard Yuuko enter the room, he made a small noise in the back of his throat to show he acknowledged her presence. She was quiet for awhile, leaning against the wall next to the door and continued to stare out the window. Watanuki sat up and waited for her to start talking, his eyes were still slightly red from that afternoon and his clothes were rumpled from his troubled sleep.
“There's more to this little situation.” Yuuko said, finally, turning to face him. Watanuki lifted his head slightly and stared at her with tired half lidded eyes for a minute before turning away. He knew she was expecting more from him, seeing as there is no way to avoid the inevitable. Hitsuzen? Watanuki gave a short quiet laugh. There was no doubt about it, he supposed.
Watanuki raised his hand to his face and cupped his hand over his right eye. He paused and tried to form his thoughts into words. “When I lost my eye,“ He started. “I think I half expected him to thank me.” A small sad smile made it's way onto his lips and he closed his eyes and leaned back against the door, letting his hand slowly lower from his eye. “But he was angry with me. I didn't understand why he was angry. I still don't fully understand.” He sighed. “If I treat myself in a way that I wouldn't care if I lost a part of myself, then whoever would receive it wouldn't want it because it has less value. It is less wanted.” He growled and ruffled his hair. “Whenever things seem to begin to clear, it suddenly gets cloudy again.” He glanced up at Yuuko with tears that threatened to fall, his hands still in his hair. “I understand,” he started again, “that I don't understand.”
Yuuko nodded with a small smile. Turning her gaze away from Watanuki's, she looked out the window again. “It is an instinct that humans have. What they don't understand, they try and recreate or find the answer because what is not understood is feared. Scientists look around what society says and tries to find these answers.” Yuuko said, pausing only for a second. “People are searching for answers, even if the answer they find aren't pleasing.” She turned and caught Watanuki's gaze. “Watanuki needs to find the answers to what he doesn't understand. Even if they are not pleasing, even if you hate your answers at least then you will understand.”
Watanuki nodded as Yuuko turned to leave, both bidding each other a good nights rest even though both knew Watanuki wouldn't be sleeping much again that night.
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Okay, I know Watanuki didn't make much sense when he was explaining everything, but I blame it on the fact that he's somewhat cornered and is being forced to answer something he really doesn't want to talk about. n-n Give the basics? *excuses* This chapter seems too confusing to me, but if I don't post this now, I might forget or get dragged back to stay at my aunts house for the rest of the week again. >__<
And I know this chapter is really short, but it was a hard chapter for me to write. I'll try and make a longer chapter next time.
PLEASE: Tell me if this chapter didn't make sense and if there are anything else wrong. Thank you.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Up to vol. 8
Summary: Doumeki confessed to Watanuki, but he said that he will not return his feelings. What Doumeki doesn't know is that Watanuki is running.
AN: I tried to think of ways to make this chapter not cliché, but it didn't work. That's why it took so long... I'm sorry! I'll make the next chapter as original as possible! T-T
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All motion seemed to stop and everything suddenly seemed too quiet, a major difference to what had been happening a minute ago. Nothing but Watanuki's harsh breathing and an occasional drip from his soaked clothing could be heard, not even Mokona or the Twins usually contestant laughter in the any of the other rooms. Yuuko stood a few feet behind him with an empty bucket that had previously held the ice and water that had kept her alcohol cooled, her other hand resting gently on her hip.
Watanuki slowly lowered himself to the floor, sitting on the back of his legs. The palms of his hands slid down the door with him, allowing where gravity took them, but never left the doors surface. Some of the ice crunched under his legs while the rest starting to melt under the heat of his body. The cold rooted him to what was happening around him and kept his mind from wandering.
“Watanuki.”
Watanuki didn't move from his spot, but settled on concentrating on catching his breath. Once he had it mostly under control, he coughed before he leaned his head against the cool surface of the door. Yuuko remained standing, letting him calm down, knowing it'd take longer if she prodded him before he was ready.
It took maybe five minutes, but seemed to take a whole lot longer, before Watanuki spoke. “The boy...when I was younger, the first friend I made after my parents had died.“He was a spirit. I didn't know. He was so kind to me.” He was rambling and he knew what he was saying didn't make much sense, but he figured Yuuko would know what he was talking about. “My parents...obviously.” He snorted with disgust. “Zashiki Warashi and my eye.” He continued to list clenching his fists, “And...the Lady.” He finished before lightly banging one of his hands on the door, making no more than a quiet 'thud'. “All of them. Something terrible or spirits....something will always happen.” His voice trembled and tears started to gather in the corners of his eyes.
He turned to face in Yuuko direction and sat so he was once again leaning against the door with his legs pulled up towards his chest, his arms between them. “I don't.” He started, slowly looking up towards her with tear clouded eyes, “Doumeki....I can't.” He closed his eyes and lightly banged his head back against the door, the tears making two small trails down the sides of his face. “I can't.”
-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
Watanuki was too physically and emotionally drained to take advantage of Yuuko's previous offer of leaving the shop for the day. He decided he'd stay the night, against his better judgment, because he didn't want to walk home and didn't think he'd make it. Yuuko had left him alone in his room for most of the evening, checking on him once a few hours after dinner to find him asleep. Seeing as he hadn't slept well the night before, she left him until she knew he'd be awake again.
It was 1:44am when Yuuko walked into the room Watanuki would be staying in for the night. Watanuki was still laying in his bed with his arm draped over his forehead, a small headache pounding away at his skull. He didn't move when he heard Yuuko enter the room, he made a small noise in the back of his throat to show he acknowledged her presence. She was quiet for awhile, leaning against the wall next to the door and continued to stare out the window. Watanuki sat up and waited for her to start talking, his eyes were still slightly red from that afternoon and his clothes were rumpled from his troubled sleep.
“There's more to this little situation.” Yuuko said, finally, turning to face him. Watanuki lifted his head slightly and stared at her with tired half lidded eyes for a minute before turning away. He knew she was expecting more from him, seeing as there is no way to avoid the inevitable. Hitsuzen? Watanuki gave a short quiet laugh. There was no doubt about it, he supposed.
Watanuki raised his hand to his face and cupped his hand over his right eye. He paused and tried to form his thoughts into words. “When I lost my eye,“ He started. “I think I half expected him to thank me.” A small sad smile made it's way onto his lips and he closed his eyes and leaned back against the door, letting his hand slowly lower from his eye. “But he was angry with me. I didn't understand why he was angry. I still don't fully understand.” He sighed. “If I treat myself in a way that I wouldn't care if I lost a part of myself, then whoever would receive it wouldn't want it because it has less value. It is less wanted.” He growled and ruffled his hair. “Whenever things seem to begin to clear, it suddenly gets cloudy again.” He glanced up at Yuuko with tears that threatened to fall, his hands still in his hair. “I understand,” he started again, “that I don't understand.”
Yuuko nodded with a small smile. Turning her gaze away from Watanuki's, she looked out the window again. “It is an instinct that humans have. What they don't understand, they try and recreate or find the answer because what is not understood is feared. Scientists look around what society says and tries to find these answers.” Yuuko said, pausing only for a second. “People are searching for answers, even if the answer they find aren't pleasing.” She turned and caught Watanuki's gaze. “Watanuki needs to find the answers to what he doesn't understand. Even if they are not pleasing, even if you hate your answers at least then you will understand.”
Watanuki nodded as Yuuko turned to leave, both bidding each other a good nights rest even though both knew Watanuki wouldn't be sleeping much again that night.
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Okay, I know Watanuki didn't make much sense when he was explaining everything, but I blame it on the fact that he's somewhat cornered and is being forced to answer something he really doesn't want to talk about. n-n Give the basics? *excuses* This chapter seems too confusing to me, but if I don't post this now, I might forget or get dragged back to stay at my aunts house for the rest of the week again. >__<
And I know this chapter is really short, but it was a hard chapter for me to write. I'll try and make a longer chapter next time.
PLEASE: Tell me if this chapter didn't make sense and if there are anything else wrong. Thank you.