Meanwhile

[dont_go_west]

It's a beautiful night outside. The sun is setting, the breeze is breezing, and the forest is ... doing forest things. Which, in the case of this forest, means creaking ominously and occasionally spewing forth fliers which bear the heading: COMMUNISM NOW! and tiny but proportionally perfect drawings of marmots

Comments

[mmquitecontrary]

There are more trampled flowers in the greenhouse.

Mary lets out a short furious noise, and then sets grimly to work clearing up the damage.

[mogget_cat]

She at least has someone to keep her company and (near-silently) cheer her on?

"Miao," says Puss, insinuating itself through the greenhouse door.

[mmquitecontrary]

"- Puss," Mary says, with - not a smile, she's too angry for that, but a slight softening in her face, at least, as she reaches her hand down in greeting.

"I do not suppose you saw who it was this time, did you?"

[mogget_cat]

The cat looks blank, sniffing at her hand before pushing its head into her palm for scritches.

He's been out hunting demon rabbits, tonight. His paws and fur are mottled in places with dark soil and... other things.

[mmquitecontrary]

Mary notices.

"I thought cats were meant to be clean," she scolds, even as she provides the requested scritches. "Martha would tell you to wash thoroughly behind your ears."

[mogget_cat]

The cat's miaow is a sorely put-upon noise. He's been out playing, Mary! Certainly she comes in just as dirty or worse, when she's been outside playing, with dirt and roots and scratches.

[mmquitecontrary]

"Yes," says Mary patiently, "but you can give yourself a bath, whereas if I wish one, I must find a tub and soap and towels and all such things. And I should not trust a bath in Milliways in the least!"

[mogget_cat]

The kitty nonchalantly pads forward and rubs up against Mary's ankles just because, purring as if her rebukes were offers for scritches.

[doc_evil]

Doctor Evil's lair at the end of the universe has many useful features and magical things, so it only stands to reason that the greenhouse could contain plants that will help him take over the world; giant venus flytraps, perhaps, or those plants that stink so badly people too stupid to procure nose plugs would do anything to escape.

He creeps in, silent and stealthy, and freezes the moment he spots Mary. Quickly, he creeps back out.

Fifteen minutes later he creeps back in, mostly silent and mostly stealthy, wearing a pair of shin guards.

[mmquitecontrary]

Not, alas, so silent and stealthy that Mary doesn't hear the noise behind her.

She whips around, trowel raised threateningly. "If you are the person who was here just now trampling -" she begins, attempting to convey Menace in every syllable.

(This only works so well when you are a thin, gawky thirteen-year-old, no matter how much you have grown over the past year.)

[doc_evil]

"What?"

Throwing up his hands, Doctor Evil does a series of spasmodic karate (or possibly badly performed Tai Chi) moves. His leg flails, his arms chop and his back makes a viscous cracking sound as he lunges forward.

"I know, I know," he says, trying to straighten. "Meant to do that. Part of the plan."

He gives Mary a supercilious glare.

"Enough of your insolence! I am an evil genius. I do not trample. My minions do that. And the ill-tempered goats. Yeah. Very ornery. Had to abandon my mountain lair."

[mmquitecontrary]

"Someone trampled," says Mary, standing very straight and doing her best to make the most of her five-foot-eight inches of height.

"If it was you, you will be sorry - and if you let goats into my greenhouse to eat the flowers, you will be sorrier!"

Mary is mad as hell about people destroying her greenhouse, and clearly, she is not going to take it anymore!

[doc_evil]

"Riiiiight."

Doctor Evil regards Mary much as he would a ticking bomb; which is to say he stands very still, widens his eyes and puts up his hands.

"How about... no. You need a chill pill. Perhaps an Eggo? Tiny frozen waffles are very relaxing -- breathtaking, really. Number Two makes mine into shapes. Yeah. Mickey Mouse, Barney, Alfred Hitchcock. Exquisite.

"How about a hug?"

[mmquitecontrary]

Mary brightens a little.

"If you try to touch me, that is an attack," she informs the good doctor, rather hopefully. "That means it is fair for me to defend myself with physical force!"

(She could totally take him.)

[doc_evil]

(Totally.)

"Silence!" he roars. "Why must I be surrounded by frickin' puny idiots? All I wanted was a man-eating flower. Perhaps a pollen-activated laser. Is that too much for an evil genius to ask?

"I will not tolerate your insolence!"

Lips pursed, he studies Mary for a moment.

He looks left. He looks right.

Casually, Doctor Evil lifts his foot and kicks over a flower pot.

[mmquitecontrary]

. . . oh he did NOT.

Mary's eyes narrow. That is totally deliberate intent to provoke!

She hefts her trowel-scoop once, twice . . . and then lunches forward, like a fencer, and dumps a scoopful of dirt straight into Dr. Evil's face. In a fight you always want to go for the eyes!

(And besides, his shins are guarded.)