Pain ;; drabble.
Title; Pain
Fandom/Pairing; Park Jae Bum
Rating; PG-13
Summary; Leaving Korea only brings one thing.
Author's Note; I wrote this right after hearing about Jay leaving. Just my take on it. I know this is late being posted, but whatever.
Pain.
He couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. No matter what he did, they just wouldn’t stop. And somehow, his heart was beating even faster, his chest aching from the pain.
Just two steps, he told himself, looking down at his hands, his feet, the floor, anywhere that wasn’t in front of him. He didn’t want to look forward, back, up, down, really. He didn’t want to have to see anymore. He didn’t want to hear anymore.
But he could hear the plane around him. It was loud, the engine roaring in his slowly decaying ears. The ground was even vibrating beneath him. He needed to take those two steps. It was all that was separating him from what he needed to do and the world he wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave.
He took a small step, looking up to hand the lady his ticket. She had a cheap, fake smile on her face. He couldn’t help but feel that she was another person that was happy to see him gone. Half of the people didn’t want him, most didn’t care, and then a small percentage needed him.
But Park Jae Bum didn’t really know what he needed.
She handed him his ticket back, the corners of her smile twitching. She obviously couldn’t even stand being around him. Jay felt as if he needed to say sorry once more, but he couldn’t find his voice to say it.
For the past year, all he had was his voice. Now, even that seemed to have left him.
Finally, he took the last step, his eyes once more locked on the ground beneath him. The carpet was stained, dirty, disgusting, gross.
And almost like clock work, the second his foot touch the hard ground once more, his eyes began to cry once again. He swore to himself - both in Korean and English - his legs not moving past that second step. Everything was failing. He just wanted it gone. He didn’t want to leave, he just wanted everything else gone.
Honestly, if he could stop feeling, the world would be nothing more than perfect. Why was pain so fucking painful?
Fandom/Pairing; Park Jae Bum
Rating; PG-13
Summary; Leaving Korea only brings one thing.
Author's Note; I wrote this right after hearing about Jay leaving. Just my take on it. I know this is late being posted, but whatever.
Pain.
He couldn’t stop his hands from shaking. No matter what he did, they just wouldn’t stop. And somehow, his heart was beating even faster, his chest aching from the pain.
Just two steps, he told himself, looking down at his hands, his feet, the floor, anywhere that wasn’t in front of him. He didn’t want to look forward, back, up, down, really. He didn’t want to have to see anymore. He didn’t want to hear anymore.
But he could hear the plane around him. It was loud, the engine roaring in his slowly decaying ears. The ground was even vibrating beneath him. He needed to take those two steps. It was all that was separating him from what he needed to do and the world he wasn’t sure if he wanted to leave.
He took a small step, looking up to hand the lady his ticket. She had a cheap, fake smile on her face. He couldn’t help but feel that she was another person that was happy to see him gone. Half of the people didn’t want him, most didn’t care, and then a small percentage needed him.
But Park Jae Bum didn’t really know what he needed.
She handed him his ticket back, the corners of her smile twitching. She obviously couldn’t even stand being around him. Jay felt as if he needed to say sorry once more, but he couldn’t find his voice to say it.
For the past year, all he had was his voice. Now, even that seemed to have left him.
Finally, he took the last step, his eyes once more locked on the ground beneath him. The carpet was stained, dirty, disgusting, gross.
And almost like clock work, the second his foot touch the hard ground once more, his eyes began to cry once again. He swore to himself - both in Korean and English - his legs not moving past that second step. Everything was failing. He just wanted it gone. He didn’t want to leave, he just wanted everything else gone.
Honestly, if he could stop feeling, the world would be nothing more than perfect. Why was pain so fucking painful?