(no subject)

[suyari]

Title: Thursday’s Child
Author: Phoenix Angel Suyari
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Summary: Inside, everybody’s hiding something.
Archive: Just ask.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter, and all other characters from the popular series are the sole ownership of J.K. Rowling and like all other authors, I'm merely borrowing them for my own satisfaction.
A/N: This is the fourth in this (as yet unnamed) series. Following Mocking Bird. It is the third, following Coming Home, which is the sequel to Carried Away.



Harry kicked his legs beneath his chair and used his fork to spread the whip cream over his waffle. Breakfast at Sirius and Remus’ house always involved some kind of sugar. He’d been here a week, and every morning, Remus would smile at him when he came into the kitchen and lay a plate in front of him that was designed to be smothered in some kind of syrup, jelly or jam.

He took a bite of his toast - with strawberry jam - and wondered what Aunt Petunia would say if she knew he got to eat sugar for breakfast every day. Or what Dudley would say if he could see him pouring as much syrup as he wanted over his breakfast.

Once, Remus had made eggs too and some syrup from the french toast got onto them. Harry had panicked, worrying over the fact that syrup was being wasted on something that didn’t need syrup. But when they saw, his guardians didn’t yell or even tell him it was wrong. They’d both pushed some of their own eggs into the syrup on their plates and ate it like that. Harry had felt better then, and eggs with a little bit of syrup was actually pretty good.

This morning, Sirius was dressed up. He had to go to work today. Harry wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about Sirius going away. On the one hand, going to work was something all grown-ups did. (Besides Aunt Petunia and Mrs. Figg, though sometimes Harry thought maybe Mrs. Figg had worked once, a long time ago.) Uncle Vernon went to work everyday, except Sunday. And the neighbors had gone to work. Harry would see them all leaving in the morning. Some of them in suits, with newspapers or coffee cups. Some of them drove; some of them took the bus or the train.

“Sirius, are you gonna drive?”

“Hmm?” he asked, swallowing his sip of tea and putting the cup down. “Drive where?”

“To work.”

“Oh.” He smiled and laughed softly. “No, Harry. I’m going to apparate.”

“Oh…” said Harry, looking back to his plate. He didn’t know what that was, but he didn’t think it would be right to ask.

“Do you know what apparating is?” asked Remus gently.

Harry shook his head, eyes glued to his waffles.

“Harry, it’s okay to ask questions. Especially when you don’t understand something. That’s how we learn.”

“Besides,” added Sirius. “You’d make Moony’s day, asking all kinds of questions. He loves to teach.”

“Sirius.”

“Well you do.”

Harry peeked up to see Remus looking down at his own plate. Sirius was looking over at him, and Harry knew that even if they said it was all right to ask questions, some things weren’t right to ask. Like now.

“I’ve an idea,” said Sirius. “Moony, why don’t you and Harry do a bit of studying everyday.”

“Like school?” Harry asked.

“Mmm, not exactly. But, you’d be learning.” He turned to Remus. “He needs to learn, Moony. And you’re better than any tutor we could hire.” Sirius smiled at Harry. “Moony had the highest grades in school. Everyone was jealous. Even me.”

Sirius gave a chuckle, and leaned over to nudge Remus’ side. “Come on, Moony…” he murmured, close to Remus’ ear. “You know it’s true. Besides…Harry’d be more comfortable if you taught him. Wouldn’t he?”

Remus sighed. Harry almost interrupted to tell them it was unnecessary. He didn’t need to go to school ‘til he was eleven anyway. And he didn’t want to bother Remus at all.

“All right,” Remus agreed softly.

Sirius beamed. “All right then, you two can start as soon as I leave.” He looked to the clock. “Which is now. I’m late.” Standing, he leaned over to kiss Remus’ cheek and then moved around the table smoothing back Harry’s hair and kissing him on the forehead. “I’ll bring you back something, Prongsling.”

Harry - still surprised at all the affection he’d been receiving - blinked. He wanted to say he didn’t need anything, but something deep inside stopped it from reaching his mouth in time. Sirius disappeared with a pop, and Harry stared at the spot his Godfather had just been standing.

“Apparation,” said Remus, “Is one of the ways wizards travel. You need to study for it, and take an exam to get a license. You start at sixteen, they’ll have a course in school.” He stood, picking up after Sirius. “Apparation is a way to move from one place to another, and it’s the most common form of travel for wizards old enough to use it.”

Harry moved his fork over his waffles, smoothing out the cream again. There was a lot to learn, and it all still surprised him.

Remus moved back to the table and sat, smiling at him kindly. Harry felt better, the tension easing in his chest. “We’ll start after breakfast, okay?”

He nodded, and pressed his fork into his waffle.

“Here, I’ll cut it for you.”

Harry leaned back as Remus got up and cut his waffle for him. He wondered if magic could do it, instead of using a knife and fork, unaware that his guardians were keeping magic to a minimum to ease him into his new lifestyle.

“Thank you,” he said after Remus was done, stabbing a smaller piece and putting it into his mouth slowly.

Remus just smiled and picked up his cup. “You’re welcome, Harry.”

By the time Sirius came home, Harry had completely forgotten he’d left. He and Remus were in the living room, chasing a little fluffy creature around. It rolled, like a ball, but was as fast as a mouse, and after chasing it under couches and around tables for the better part of half an hour, Harry was a giggling, lopsided mess.

Sirius was smiling widely in the doorway, by the time Harry looked up.

“Sirius!” he cried, running up to him.

Sirius bent down to catch him up, hugging him close. “Well, look at you! Been having fun with Moony, Prongsling?”

Harry giggled, leaning into Sirius’ shoulder to catch his breath.

“We’ve misplaced our fezgig,” Remus supplied, moving to lean into the doorframe, a bit breathless.

“Oh, is that what the two of you’ve been doing?” He laughed and set Harry down, moving to push his sleeves up. Harry leaned into Sirius’ shins, feeling hiccups start in his chest. “Maybe I can help.”

“You can take it from here,” replied Remus, flopping down beside Harry and wrapping an arm about him. Harry leaned into the embrace, hiccuping slightly. “Let’s see how well Paddy does, yea?” he mock whispered.

Harry gave a big giggle that was mostly hiccup at the end.

“I happen to be a Professional, Moony.”

“Of course, luv. Of course.”

Hiccuping, Harry made himself a bit more comfortable, unconsciously half sprawling in Remus’ lap. He draped both arms over Remus’ knee, leaning his chin on his forearms. Remus patted his back softly; smoothing the hiccups away as Sirius stepped comically into the living room and started to prowl.

Later, the fezgig caught and safely tucked away in a cage, Sirius gave Harry his present. It looked like a chocolate frog, but when Harry opened it, the frog jumped out. Harry fell over and Remus helped him up while Sirius apprehended the frog, returning it to Harry, who didn’t want to eat the thing alive. It was only magic, Sirius explained.

With the frog, came a collectable card, and Harry’s had a witch on it named Morgana Le Fey. Before bed that night, instead of a story from a book, Remus and Sirius told him about her. That night, Harry dreamed of knights and horses and a banner waving high.

Two days later, Harry entered the kitchen to find Sirius at the stove. He wasn’t dressed for work, and Remus wasn’t in the kitchen at all.

“Morning Prongsling,” he greeted over his shoulder, with a smile.

“Morning,” said Harry, moving to sit.

Sirius lay a plate in front of him that Harry reasoned he could feed to Padfoot, if the dog came around, but…

“I know, I’m not much of a cook,” explained Sirius. “I’d’ve had Nettie do it…” Harry shivered. He still wasn’t used to House elves. “But, she’s got something more important to do at the moment.”

Harry nodded. “Where’s Remus?” he asked, prodding an egg experimentally. It oozed and Harry’s nose bunched slightly.

“He’s not feeling well.” Harry looked up. “So I’ll be staying home today.”

“Is he sick?” asked Harry, feeling a knot in his chest.

“He’ll be fine by Monday,” replied Sirius, smiling reassuringly.

Harry swallowed. Monday was too far away for him to feel better.

“Don’t worry, Prongsling.” He reached across the table to give Harry’s hand a supportive squeeze. “Moony gets better every time. He won’t stay sick for long.”

“Maybe we can make him chicken soup.”

Sirius’ mouth gave a strange quirk, before settling into a comforting smile. “Yea, I suppose we can do that.”

“Is he sleeping?” Harry asked, picking up his too burnt toast and slathering it with raspberry jelly. He took a bite, and was glad his guardians didn’t have rules about the amount of jelly he was allowed.

“He’s trying,” said Sirius, munching on a bit of toast. His nose wrinkled and he looked down at it. “Bloody need to learn to cook,” he mumbled.

“I know how,” said Harry.

“I’ve an idea. Let’s let Nettie cook, and we’ll go buy the ingredients for the soup while she does.”

Harry had been taught to not complain, and eat it even if it was horrible stuff. But, something deep inside gave him a little prod, and he felt strangely like wasting this meal didn’t matter. He was a little horrified with himself, but even that feeling seemed to be touched by that something, and he nodded.

“All right then. Go wash up, I’ll tell Nettie.”

The soup making was a disaster.

Harry looked at the kitchen and sighed in Aunt Petunia’s stead. They were lucky Remus hadn’t left his room at all, because he’d probably get upset. Harry didn’t ever want to see Remus upset. And the something deep inside most especially never wanted to see Remus upset with him.

There was a large smear of flour on his nose and he had some in his hair. There were grains stuck to his socks, and rice down his shirt. Some of the spices had ended up on his shirt, and there was a strange stain on his knee. Sirius didn’t look any better.

He took a sip and re-dipping the spoon, blew it cool before handing it to Harry. “Well, it’s not much to look at, but it tastes pretty good.” Harry sipped it. Sirius ruffled his hair. “You did a good job, Prongsling. Even with me mucking everything up.”

Harry beamed and climbed down to get a bowl and spoon.

Remus didn’t look very good, Harry thought. In fact, he looked like he needed a hospital. But, Remus smiled at him as he came in. Harry padded over to the bed, Sirius behind him with the tray.

“We made you soup,” he said, leaning into the side of the bed, and reaching up to wrap his small hands about Remus’ forearm.

“I can tell Sirius helped,” he husked, and then gave a watery laugh.

“Of course I did, luv,” replied Sirius, laying the tray down. “Can’t have Harry in the kitchen alone.”

Remus’ head rolled to the side and he winked at Harry. “Slowed you down, didn’t he?”

Sirius huffed, affronted. Then smiled, and moved to fix the sheets.

Harry sniffed.

“What’s the matter, Harry?” asked Remus, stretching weakly to smooth back his hair.

“Are you gonna die?” Harry asked, with a sob.

“Oh sweet…” He looked to Sirius and then back down at Harry. “No…no, Harry…I’m not.” He pushed himself up, Sirius hovering behind him just in case, and reached down, pulling Harry up unto the bed. Harry gave a heavy sniff, pressing his face into Remus’ neck and clutching his shirt. Remus’ arms about him held him close, but they were lacking the strength of a healthy person.

“I don’t want you to die!” Harry wailed.

“Harry…shh…” He smoothed his hand over Harry’s back. “I’m not going to die. I promise.” He sighed, leaning back into Sirius, who held him up. “I get sick sometimes, sweetheart. That’s all.”

Harry cried into his shoulder, feeling the heat of fever meet his tears.

Sirius wrapped his arms about them, and they held Harry together for a while, while he clutched desperately to Remus. His chest hurt a lot. It hurt more than the time he’d gotten so sick he couldn’t breathe. It hurt more than the time Dudley made him play baseball and hit a homerun into his stomach. Harry felt sick about Remus feeling sick. And he didn’t know why.

He’d never felt this way with the Dursleys. Whenever they got sick, there was either more work for Harry to do, or they ignored him completely. He’d even seen Uncle Vernon get so sick he couldn’t leave bed, and he never even felt a little bit bad.

Not like this. Never like this.

Beneath his cheek, Remus’ muscles twitched and spasmed, deep, deep inside. Every so often, he’d tremble, Harry’s hands gripping tighter. Harry listened to him breathe, sharp inhales and shaky exhales that were never the same length. Sirius rubbed at Remus’ back and his shoulders, down his arms, and Harry could hear the sounds in Remus’ chest. The sounds he wasn’t letting out. After a while, when Remus’ hands were shaking, and the muscles were very, very tight, he lay his head down, kissing Harry on top of his head, and said, “Sirius.” His voice sounded like he was holding in a lot of pain, and Harry pressed close.

“Come on, Prongsling,” murmured Sirius, moving to pry Harry free gently.

“No…” cried Harry, the tears coming anew. “No! Moony!”

“Shh…It’s going to be all right,” he said, as Sirius pulled Harry free.

He picked Harry up, and even though Harry struggled, easily shouldered him and carried him out.

“No! Moony!”

Sirius settled Harry in bed, the four-year-old crying hard now. He stroked his hair, kissed his temple and straightened. “I’ll be right back, Prongsling. Just have to help Moony out.”

Harry fell over into his pillows, and cried. Sirius left the door open a crack and disappeared down the hall.

Harry cried so hard, he cried himself to sleep, waking in the afternoon. He sat up, feeling hollow and scrubbed at an eye. He looked about for his glasses, finding Padfoot instead. The dog lifted its head and licked his cheek, and Harry threw his arms about him and cried again.

He had dinner with Sirius, who had to reassure him every five minutes that Remus was sleeping and not dead. Harry wasn’t hungry, but knew from years with Aunt Petunia that how you felt was no excuse for not eating. So he pushed his food about his plate and ate marginally.

He paced the hall all the next day, wanting to see Remus, but too afraid. Sirius kept assuring him that Remus was just fine. But, Harry remembered how bad he’d been that night, and he was very afraid of what he’d find if he went to visit.

Sirius collected him from the hall to take him to a movie at the theater. Harry fell asleep halfway through it. Too tired and too worried to remember what he’d been taken to watch. Too preoccupied to enjoy his very first trip to a movie theater.

The next morning, Harry shuffled his way into the kitchen. Depressed and exhausted, despite all the sleeping he’d been doing, he pushed the door open, with all his strength. It felt so heavy today.

Head down, he moved across the room, and climbed into his chair, draping himself over the table and staring blankly at nothing, waiting for breakfast even though he wasn’t hungry. A plate settled in front of his vision. Pancakes stacked high. The smell met his nose before his eyes focussed. The pancakes were stacked neatly, and each had a different fruit in them. The two on top had chocolate chips.

He sat up, leaning back slowly, before turning to look. Remus put a glass of juice down beside his plate and smiled down at him. He looked pale and tired, but much better than three days ago. Harry gave a sob and hurtled himself at him. Remus wrapped an arm about him, hugging him close.

Sirius came into the kitchen, dressed for work. He kissed Remus on the neck, and then the top of Harry’s head before moving to pour himself a cup of tea. Remus smoothed his hand over Harry’s back.

“Told you he’d be better by Monday,” said Sirius, sitting.

Harry sniffed, rubbing his face against Remus’ side. Sniffing, he looked up at Remus, arms about him as tightly as he could manage. “Are you really better?”

“Yes, sweet,” he replied, smoothing the tears away with the tips of his fingers. “It’s over for now.”

Harry clutched him, laying his head back against him.

“But, there’s something you should know, Harry.”

Harry looked across the table at Sirius.

“When I said Moony gets sick a lot, a did mean a lot. This is going to happen again.” Harry clutched tighter, and Remus smoothed his hand over the back of the boy’s head. “But, just like now, Remus will get better the next time. Do you understand?”

Harry swallowed, and looked up as Remus lifted him up and sat, settling Harry in his lap.

“Harry,” he said, holding him firmly. “I’ve been getting sick like this ever since I was your age. It’s a sickness that I’ve had all my life, and it’s something that there’s no cure for, so I’m going to be sick like this for the rest of my life.” He cuddled Harry close, and Harry closed his eyes against Remus’ steady heartbeat. “I’m sorry, sweet. This is something that’s never going to go away, but as you grow up, you’ll get used to me being sick, okay?”

“Why are you sick?”

Remus and Sirius looked at one another. Harry opened his eyes, and looked between them. Then Remus looked down at him and gave him a soft smile. “Harry, there are a lot of sicknesses in the world. And just like everyone else, wizards get sick.”

“There are lots of ways to get sick in the magic world,” added Sirius, who’d moved to sit beside them. “And while magic can fix a lot of sicknesses, it can’t heal them all. Some sicknesses are beyond magic.”

“When I was little,” said Remus. He paused, taking a steadying breath before continuing. Sirius rubbed his arm. “I was playing in the garden of a house that belonged to one of my mother’s friends. They were having a party, and my parents and I had been invited. My mother warned me not to go too far, but we were playing a game and we did.”

Harry stroked a small hand over his heart, knowing this was hard to explain. He wanted to say it was okay, he didn’t need to know. It had nothing to do with him. But that something deep inside, the something that’d been growing since he’d been living here whispered to let Remus continue.

“Do you know what a werewolf is, Harry?”

Harry shook his head.

“A werewolf, is someone who turns into a wolf on the full moon. There are three ways to become one. You can be born one, you can use magic - very difficult and dangerous forbidden magic - to become one, or a werewolf can bite you.”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure, Harry. Maybe because they’re lonely? All I know, is on that night, while we were playing, there was a full moon. Werewolves who were bitten only transform under the light of the full moon.”

“Why?”

“It’s magic, luv,” said Sirius.

Remus nodded. “It’s a kind of magic. And on that night, I got bit by a werewolf.”

“So…” said Harry, trying to connect the dots. “You’re…a werewolf?”

“Yes, sweet. I’m a werewolf.”

“Harry,” Sirius said, leaning into them. “Friday night, when Remus was feeling ill, it was because there was a full moon that night. And he was transforming.”

“It hurts a lot,” Harry replied. It didn’t need to be a question. He was there.

Remus nodded. “It hurts a lot.”

“Do you have to?”

“I have no choice, Harry.”

Harry sighed, laying his head to Remus’ chest once more. Magic was supposed to be good, it was supposed to make life happy and better. It wasn’t supposed to hurt people.

“Now, Harry, this is very important.” Sirius’ voice sounded firm and Harry met his eyes slowly. “You can’t tell anyone that Remus is a werewolf.”

Harry hadn’t intended to, but still he asked, “Why?”

“Because people are afraid of werewolves, Harry,” answered Remus.

“And as stupid as it sounds - and believe me, it’s a stupid, stupid law-”

“Sirius.”

“Werewolves aren’t allowed to live like other wizards. They can’t have jobs, they’re not allowed around children, and they can get into a lot of trouble for doing nothing at all.”

Harry clung to Remus, who smoothed back his hair. He didn’t want Remus to go away, and he didn’t want to be taken away from him. Remus was the first person Harry had ever met that treated him like he mattered.

“So, it’s a secret.”

Harry nodded.

Sirius and Remus looked at one another and smiled softly. Harry could feel the relief between them, the tension and anxiety slipping away. It didn’t matter to him if Remus was a werewolf or even if he was a wizard or not. He was one of two people who loved Harry.

And he was one of two people Harry loved very, very much.

After Sirius had left, Remus and Harry cleaned up and then went to sit in the living room.

“What do you want to do today, Harry?” asked Remus, but Harry was all ready fast asleep. Smiling softly, Remus hugged him close, closed his eyes and joined him. For the first time in the last few days, Harry slept soundly. Safe and happy - cradled gently in the arms of a werewolf.