Strip for your Present 2/3
Title: Strip for your Present
Pairings: JaeChun, XiMin, and mentions of more.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Yoochun has a crush on the best stripper in town. He might get sex, or romance, or both, or nothing. (written from his POV).
Warnings: Chun is 17, Jae is 23. Oh, and I changed someone’s birthday.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone. But if Heechul owned a strip club that only accepts rich businessmen, I’d borrow money and dress up as one.
A/N: For be-ddelusionall ♥
Okay, so, three parts now (that reminds me of someone 8'D).
I just want to say thank you! for being the reason I joined LJ and then the reason I started writing and then the first person ever to comment on the first ever thing I wrote *hugs forever*
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! ♥
And, you’re in this :D Not your name, but it’s kind of obvious *giggles*
I really hope you like it!
The following week passes in a blur. A blur of hard dicks.
Not really of course. It’s a blur of hard dicks and Jaejoong.
A blur of pretending to sleep at night, eating but giving most of my food to my mother and brother, telling them I won’t be back until early morning again because I have to help clean up after the shows, putting on my tight uniform.
And Jaejoong.
He isn’t quite part of my life but I can’t separate him from it either. It’s hard watching him perform and still being able to feel this hard cock in me.
He was part of me but not really that time too. He was pushing my body apart to make place for himself. And I loved it.
It’s hard watching him perform and realizing that I’m denying to myself that I wouldn’t mind if he does what he did again. He didn’t rape me, he seemed to care enough about me trying to push him away that I could have stopped him.
My resolve to leave weakens every time I see him. But this isn’t... this will make me miserable.
It’s the worst watching him perform knowing it might be the fourth, third, second to last time.
After six days of complaining in my head that I can’t find a job at all, I realize that I haven’t really been looking. I’m about to bang my head against the wall as a punishment for being so weak when someone grabs my shoulder.
It’s Junsu, and he’s smiling.
“Heechul is going to double your pay.”
I gape at him.
After a while Junsu rolls his eyes. “What? You think I’m going to call someone who’s had his dick down my throat ‘Mister Kim’?”
That wasn’t what stunned me, but now I’m trying to fight the images, momentarily distracted from my main shock.
“He’s going to what why?” I finally manage.
“Triple it if that’s what you need.” Junsu smiles again. “He didn’t look happy when he said that, but man, I don’t know what you did, because Heechul is stingy as hell, but he stays true to his word. He told me to get you so he can tell you himself actually, but I was curious and teased it out of him.”
Junsu smirks and does a full hip roll.
Heechul doesn’t care about me that much, I don’t believe that and... suddenly it hits me that I haven’t even... “Hyung, I haven’t even told him yet that I’m thinking of leaving yet.”
Junsu looks surprised for a moment before his big smile is back and he shakes his head, mumbling to himself. “So he did after all...”
He shouldn’t talk to himself right now, I need him to explain this to me.
I’m about to ask when he says: “I’m not blind, Yoochun.”
What is that supposed to mean?
Junsu is already turning around to walk away when he adds: “I told Jaejoong you were going to quit and why. Don’t forget to go see Heechul. He doesn’t like to wait.”
I stand in the hallway, baffled, for probably more than a few minutes before banging my head against the wall after all, because I think I’m going crazy.
Jaejoong convincing Heechul to give me a raise is even harder to believe than Heechul deciding he wants to keep me no matter what by himself.
And Junsu said he wasn’t blind. What has he seen?
I drag myself to Heechul’s office, still not knowing what to think about this.
“How much do you need?” He doesn’t sound happy.
“I...”
“Speak up, boy.”
“.. Junsu said you’d... d-double?”
“Double, and you’ll stay?” Heechul tries to keep his face serious, but I see his eyes light up, he’d expected me to ask more.
I probably should, I have the opportunity. But why does Heechul suddenly want to keep me so badly?
After what Junsu told me, the only possible explanation I can come up with is that Jaejoong told Heechul he’d quit if I do. Heechul would care about losing Jaejoong.
But that’s not really a possible explanation at all. He... what... why? No.
Lets just pretend Heechul has gone insane and he came up with this all by himself. How much do I want to ask?
I don’t deserve a raise. I’m not even doing my job properly. I’d feel bad.
But I want to try to convince Yoohwan that he doesn’t have to do what he’s doing. I want to buy him and my mother nice gifts for Christmas. I...
“Double it and I’ll stay.”
Heechul smiles at me. “Very well. Sign here.”
I leave Heechul’s office feeling slightly dazed. My pay wasn’t that good before, but it was decent, especially if you consider that I only have to stand around for a few hours every night and then do some cleaning.
Now I’ll have so much more money and it feels great but I also feel bad because I don’t really deserve it and I still don’t even know why-
I have a very déjà vu like feeling when I walk into a broad chest, bow, stammer an apology and lift my head to find Jaejoong staring at me.
I freeze.
Suddenly I remember why I’d decided to leave in the first place. I mentally groan. When Heechul asked me I didn’t even think about how leaving would be protecting myself against Jaejoong... against myself.
But in six days I’d already forgotten how much more breathtaking Jaejoong is from up close.
Why did I want to leave again? Slowly all reason behind that slips from my mind and all I can do is stare into his big eyes.
That’s what he does too, just stare at me.
After a while I feel that this silence needs to be broken and I part my lips to say something, but I’m startled by how fast his eyes shoot to my mouth and stay fixed on it.
I gasp when he suddenly steps forward and before I know what’s happening I’m pinned against the wall, hands above my head in his tight hold.
His body is pressed up against mine, again, and while I’m not hard this time, I feel that it won’t be long, especially with the way he’s still staring at me and his warm breath is hitting my face.
“How much is he paying you? Is it enough?” He finally asks.
I gasp again. “I... were you? Did you-” I cut myself off. It seems stupid to assume that Jaejoong wanted to help me. I don’t have proof for that at all, just Junsu’s vague implication. I turn my head away.
Jaejoong’s hand, the one that isn’t creating fresh bruises on my wrists, grabs my chin and forces me to look at him again.
“Why can’t I get off with anyone else anymore without imagining it’s your body squirming under me? Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Why did it hurt when Junsu told me you were going to quit? That you told him that right after you’d been with me, did you hate it that much? Why, Yoochun, tell me.”
Jaejoong’s voice is low and soft, but not calm. My eyes widen at his words. Does he... does this mean? What would Jaejoong see in me?!
It’s like he reads my mind.
“You said you wanted more. I didn’t even get it at first. Nobody has ever wanted anything but my body. No one ever... During my shows this week, when I knew you were there watching me, I felt.. I felt naked. I felt like I was only stripping the top layers as always but you were staring right through the bottom ones.”
Jaejoong closes his eyes and shakes his head.
“I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel like I’ve done something wrong in fucking you, you’re the only one who didn’t seem to... Everybody always wants me to... what I did... But you cried, you resisted at first and then you cried. And you’re so young. Fuck, I hurt you, and you hate me now...”
His grip on my wrists loosens and my arms fall down. He tries to move away from me, but I won’t let him. There is no way I’m letting this moment that finally feels like a dream come true slip away. It probably is a dream, but I don’t care. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him, pressing up against him.
“I don’t hate you,” I whisper. “I liked it, I mean, I liked... I would like you to do what you did again, if I know that you think about me, if I’m not just a number on your list. I don’t want to be, I can’t do it.”
He looks at me, our faces so close, and suddenly I’m pressed up against the wall again, but this time is different. This time his hands grip my ass and his tongue, his tongue pushes past my lips and explores my mouth. Rough, needy, but heaven.
His lips are on mine. Jaejoong’s lips are on mine, and his tongue shows me his power and dominance, something I never knew I craved for this much.
I moan.
His body tenses. I feel it everywhere he’s pressed against me, which is in a lot of places, and wonder what is wrong.
He pulls back and steps away from me, eyes closed, breathing harsh.
I try to follow him, but one of his arms keeps me at a distance.
“No! No, I don’t want to ruin this again, I thought I already had, but if you still give me a chance I don’t want to mess it up.”
“What-” I shut my mouth when Jaejoong gives me a pained look.
“I don’t want you to feel you need to repay me with your body. Yes, I made Heechul pay you more because you said you needed money, but mostly because I want you to stay here, close to me. That’s selfish, you don’t owe me.”
“I don’t...” I hadn’t even thought about that yet. But Jaejoong has? He doesn’t want me to feel like a hooker? I am seriously starting to doubt that this is more than just a dream. But, assuming that it’s real, how badly does Jaejoong want to keep me close? It’s not that I don’t want to believe that he does, but I just can’t.
I get an idea and it feels insane because if this isn’t a dream I might ruin it.
“How do you know I accepted Heechul’s offer?” I ask, and I immediately brace myself for his reaction. What if he shrugs and walks away?
I force myself to keep looking at his face and see his eyes widen. Of all the times I have looked into them from up close today and last week, this is the first time they actually tell me what he’s feeling deep inside.
My breath catches when I realize that he stripped for me, really stripped himself off all his defensive layers that I didn’t even know were there. I might have unconsciously felt it every time I watched him on stage and my feelings for him grew, but for the past week I believed that he was nothing more than an arrogant stripper who sees people as toys to control and play with. Who knew he was this insecure underneath?
His eyes show hurt, and sadness. I immediately feel bad and want to take back what I said.
“I thought...” he starts, but before he can finish I’m hugging him again.
“Of course I accepted it. Thank you.”
He pushes me away again and I frown.
“Don’t scare me like that.” He uses his dominating voice, the one that radiates power. I shiver.
“And stay away from me.”
My frown is back, but he says: “If you keep coming that close I’m going to fuck you into a wall again. You said you wanted more than just my body, right?”
I nod. “I want to get to know you.”
His expression softens.
From everything he’s told me I can guess what he’s thinking now. I never thought.. never expected him to be so new to this. Has he ever even had a normal relationship? He’s so shaken by the fact that I want more than sex.
“Let’s do that..”
“What?”
“If you want.. get to know... you know...”
This feels like Jaejoong’s striptease. The reversal of our roles. Last week I was the insecure one, I still am, I think, but it’s so hard to believe when Jaejoong willingly shows me his most vulnerable side like this.
And then the power is back. He steps towards me looking so scary that I press back against the wall. “But if you tell anyone about this, use this to boast about being close to me, you lose your job, and maybe more. I’ve had enough people use me like some nice car to show off.”
I nod, and he turns around and walks away.
The next few days I wonder how exactly he wants to get to know me, if he even wants that at all, if he wasn’t just playing with me, if he’s changed his mind...
I see him on stage, and he looks the same. Does he expect me to come find him? I don’t have keys to the locked parts of the club.
Does he regret what he said and is he ignoring me?
I’m in the toilet, after Jaejoong’s show, hoping no one else will come in as I free my throbbing erection and sigh when I wrap my hand around it.
My strokes are fast, irritated, desperate, trying to hide my insecurity.
It think about how nothing has changed. How I’m still here, alone, pathetic.
But mostly I think about the way his skin was glowing today, about how his muscles waved and his lips parted. I remember how his tongue felt, slithering around in my mouth and wrapped around mine. The heat of his body against me, his fingers digging into my ass.
My cock pulses and with a shuddering gasp I cover my hand in come before sagging against the wall behind me.
I clean myself up, close my pants and walk outside. This is my sex life. No wonder Jaejoong has decided he doesn’t want me anymore.
Even the broad chest I run into in the hallway doesn’t belong to him. That would have sent me into a real depression if the person hadn’t been Junsu instead.
“Hey, watch where you’re going,” he chuckles, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me away so we can look at each other.
His eyes twinkle. “I have something for you.”
I haven’t really spoken to Junsu about Jaejoong yet, not directly. But I know that he’s got a general idea of what’s going on and that he encourages it.
I don’t think he’s hiding Jaejoong behind his back though, so whatever he wants to give me can’t be that exciting.
For it to be a piece of paper is even more disappointing than I’d expected.
Until I fold it open and read the first line of the neat handwriting.
My heart speeds up.
Junsu squeezes my shoulder and I look up at him. He’s smiling and points at the door behind me. “Go read in there, where no one will bother you and ask you to do things.”
I smile, but he doesn’t let my shoulder go yet and his smile turns into a smirk. “And don’t stroke off again if you don’t want someone to come in and rape you, the walls aren’t very soundproof.”
I feel a blush creep up my cheeks and realize that I’ve done nothing to muffle my moans and shouts today.
But I don’t waste too much time feeling embarrassed. I thank Junsu and sprint back to where I came from. Where, just minutes ago, I thought that nothing had changed.
Yoochun,
I don’t know how to start. And I feel like a teenage girl writing a letter to her imaginative overly romantic boyfriend. I’m not good at this, that’s why I’ve been avoiding you. I’m sorry.
I figure that if we want to get to know each other we should.. know things about each other. And I know we should just talk. But I haven’t had sex with anybody since I told you about what you did to me and I can’t be close to you right now because I don’t know if I can control myself.
Call me.
I stare at the number. Jaejoong’s number.
I get my phone from my pocket and stare at it.
I only have this because I want my mother and Yoohwan to be able to contact me. It feels like a family thing. Calling Jaejoong with this feels like accepting him into it. I guess that is a good first step.
“Yoochun?”
“Yes.”
“Ask me a question.”
I stay silent for a while.
“I’ll answer it. A question about me.”
This feels like something important I have to really think about for a while, but then suddenly I don’t.
“Do you like your job?”
“... I do, why?”
He sounds like he means it, somehow that feels like a relief. “I just... I always wonder about that when you perform. Why did you become a stripper when you could have been a model, a dancer, maybe a-”
“A singer.”
“What?”
“I’ve always wanted to be a singer, or an actor. I can sing too you know, believe it or not.” He chuckles, I like the sound, but there’s some sadness in his voice when he continues. “But I didn’t make enough money as a beginning artist. I had my sisters to take care of after my parents died, and when they couldn’t get good jobs and they saw me struggle they were thinking... I don’t know if you have siblings, but the idea of them going into... of them selling themselves” he almost whispered that “it would have killed me. I had to start making more money. And then I met Heechul.”
I swallow.
“Yoochun?”
I hear someone enter the cubicle next to mine and tell myself I’m not answering because of that, but I know that’s not true.
“Yoochun?”
Jaejoong is stronger than I am. He gave up his dream. I could have had a better job by now. Of course my raise changes things but before that.. I wouldn’t even give up a crush.
“Yoochun, shit, did I.. Do you have..”
“Brother”, I try to make my voice sound steady. I have to tell him, it’s only fair, Jaejoong answered my question too. “A younger brother.”
“... I’m sorry.”
“I try to get him to stop, but it gets harder every day. The past few weeks he actually seemed happy with what he does...”
“Yoochun.. it must be so hard, I’m so sorry I..”
“It’s okay, he’s okay really. Somehow he meets decent people. I check his body for bruises when he sleeps and I would feel when he fakes a smile.”
Suddenly I’m pouring my heart out to this stripper I barely know. It just feels good to be able to talk about this.
“He’s had a regular customer for a while now, a rich businessman who’s a lot older, but somehow he makes him.. happy.”
“What’s his name?”
“My brother’s?”
“The customer. If it’s a rich businessman, I know him.”
“.. I think it was Lee Donghae.”
“Fuck.”
I freeze.
“You meant rich, rich, rich businessman.”
“Jaejoong? Why ‘fuck’ what’s with him, is he-”
“The fuck was for how rich he is. Yoochun, that man could buy himself a galaxy.”
“But is he-”
“He’s a good man, kind, don’t worry. Not even an arrogant bastard despite how rich he is.”
I sigh in relief.
“He actually hired me once for a private striptease.”
That has me frowning.. so Jaejoong does do that.
“He started by asking if I wasn’t forced to work here, said that he’d still pay if didn’t strip for him, give me an evening off. He actually meant it too, it wasn’t just sweet talk. It was nice, but eventually I got tired of the talking and gave him the show of his life. He came in his pants.”
I can hear Jaejoong’s smirk in his voice.
We’re silent for a while.
“Ask me another question.”
This time I do think for a while.
“What.. What is the story behind your show?”
“Fuck, Yoochun, you can’t just ask me what my favorite food is, can you?”
I smile, because it doesn’t sound like he minds. I decide I like talking to Jaejoong.
“I wanted to be an actor and when I.. chose this road, I saw it as a step back.. obviously. At first people told me what to do, but when I got my own show I decided to give it a message, something deeper than hot and steamy. I knew no one would ever get it, but it made me feel... more artistic.”
I feel bad for not getting the message.
“What is the message?”
“You’re the first one to ever ask.”
“You don’t have to tell me if it’s.. personal or something.”
Jaejoong laughs. “It isn’t, it’s just sex.”
“Sex?”
“I know. I tried to give a striptease more meaning by making it about sex. You can laugh now.”
“No, explain.”
I hear Jaejoong take a deep breath. “You’re insecure at first, bound by your doubts and fear, tortured by thoughts of the other not enjoying it. Later you get more confident, when you gain experience and learn about your partner, or about how to pleasure someone in general, and you control your fear. Something like that.” He adds the last line with an insecure chuckle.
“I like it.”
“.. thank you. I- shit... I have to go, someone requested me. Can I call you tomorrow?”
I don’t lower my phone and stay in the same position for at least a few minutes.
I don’t know if I should feel ecstatic about the conversation that just took place or if I should torture myself with thoughts of Jaejoong stripping for someone, alone.
He calls me and we talk to each other every day, and it’s nice, Jaejoong is nice, but the sexual tension grows, I feel it. I feel like Jaejoong is hiding something from me, some reason why we can’t just meet face to face again.
“Yoochun?”
“Yes?”
“Do you like me?”
“Yes.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“.. still yes.”
“I hurt you.”
“You didn’t.”
“You’re too young.”
“I’m practically an adult. I’ve taken care of a family for 5 years, that should have done something for my mental age, and I’m not a virgin.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t what?” The question sounds like it comes out easily, but I know this is turning into a serious conversation. I have to really try to keep sounding casual.
“I’m not... I like you, I do like you, too, but I thought about it, and I’m not the right person.”
My hand tightens around my phone. I should have expected this to end. It was too good to be true anyway.
“Why?”
“...what I did to you. It seems extreme, but it was mild to me, Yoochun. That was mildly kinky to me. I’m.. I’m not sure, no, I’m sure, I’m sure that I won’t be able to hide my true self. I’ll hurt you again.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. That’s all?
“I told you, you didn’t hurt me. And I want it.”
His voice suddenly gets low and commanding. “Do you really?”
I remember the way my body reacted and I want to say yes, but before I can he adds: “There’s no going back. I can’t lock away a part of myself when you suddenly back out.”
And suddenly I’m not sure. Dominant Jaejoong turns me on, but I’ve gotten to know his soft side now and I fell in love with it...
I don’t want to miss that. I don’t... but... I’m not sure.. I’m just not sure.
“What I’d ask of you is to be mine, only mine. Mine to play with, to tease and torture as I please. That scares you, Yoochun, doesn’t it?”
I don’t reply.
“I have to go.”
The next day Jaejoong doesn’t call. I watch his show. He seems less energetic than usual.
The day after he doesn’t call either.
I contemplate calling him, but I don’t know what to say.
I want to say that I’ll be his, but I’m scared. His warning made it sound like I’ll lose a part of him when I do.
It’s hard not knowing if he’s giving me time or if he already thinks it’s over. ...if we even had anything to begin with.
When I really can’t stand it anymore, I decide to ask Junsu for advice.
I never know where Junsu is after the shows have ended, he might get requested, sometimes he comes to find me, but most often he’s with Changmin.
I know where to find Changmin. He is here every evening Junsu is, waiting for the moment Junsu can go home with him, only drinking too much when he’s particularly frustrated. He has his own spot at the bar.
When he’s not drunk, Changmin is really impressive. He’s tall and handsome and the few times I’ve spoken to him he seemed pretty smart. Junsu says he’s a genius, but Junsu is in love, so I’m not sure how accurate his judgement is.
Every time I see Junsu in Changmin’s embrace, their bodies fitting together perfectly, I feel a bit of jealousy. But I’m happy for them.
Changmin isn’t in his spot.
I know Junsu can’t be gone yet, they almost never let him go this early. Maybe they snuck off to one of the private rooms that isn’t used right now. They would probably mind if I interrupt when they’re kissing, but I can always check and come back later to see if they’re done, right?
Of the few rooms that aren’t used for customers only one has a closed door. When I near it I see that it isn’t completely closed, I can peek inside.
Changmin and Junsu are doing more than just kissing.
I know I shouldn’t stay and watch, but I’m stunned, frozen.
I never doubted that Changmin is a top, considering how he looks and acts and.. Junsu is a stripper. Wait, that doesn’t say anything, Jaejoong is a stripper too.
Just... the image of Changmin I had in my head makes it shocking to see him on his back on a table, hands above his head and his tie around it, digging into his cheeks and gagging him.
He whimpers, eyes squeezed shut, and I trace the shape of his naked body with my eyes to the point where it’s connected to Junsu.
Junsu is on his knees. He’s lifted Changmin’s ass and pushed his knees up, holding his thighs to make his thrusts deeper and harder. His face shows pure ecstasy, but behind a mask of control.
I shouldn’t watch, but I still can’t move.
Junsu pounds into Changmin, he seems to keep going faster and faster. Changmin arches his back and cries out behind his gag.
He tries to move an arm down, probably to stroke himself, but Junsu reaches down and pinches one of his nipples. “No.” It sounds powerful, commanding. Changmin whines.
Junsu speeds up more, throwing his head back, Changmin starts to buck his hips up, trying to meet his thrusts, a constant moan sounds from his throat.
Junsu looks down at him and smirks. “Are you going to come, love?”
Changmin cries out again. I see his eyes roll back into his head and strings of white landing onto his stomach.
Junsu groans and loses his rhythm.
I watch him slump down on top of Changmin and I watch as they cuddle. I think I should feel guilt for spying on them, but I just feel envy.
Junsu reaches up and pulls the tie out of Changmin’s mouth. “Was that okay?” he asks softly. I can barely hear it.
“I loved it, I love you”, Changmin pants.
“Are you sure you’re okay too?” Junsu asks, and Changmin smiles and nods, lifting his head for a kiss.
I finally manage to step away from the door and lean against the wall next to it.
I’m so stupid. If Jaejoong likes me, cares about me, which he says he does, not just for my body, then it doesn’t matter how kinky the sex gets. He’ll always be himself in every way, the soft side too.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll give him my answer.
The next day is scary, stressful. I’m nervous, mostly because I’m afraid that he’ll have changed his mind and will refuse me, but also because I have a plan that I need Heechul’s help with.
I knock and he says I can enter. I immediately regret it when I do.
Heechul is sitting behind his desk and smiles at me, but his eyes are a bit hazy, glazed over. His smile widens and he looks down, one hand reaching for something between his legs. I can’t see anything, but I know the sounds of a blow job.
“Good girl. Right there,” Heechul says before looking back up at me.
“You want?”
I clear my throat and try to fight my blush and make my voice sound steady. “I.. um.. can I maybe borrow a key to get to Jaejoong’s room? Just for tonight. I won’t bother anyone, I just want to give him something.”
Heechul looks at me for a while before opening a drawer and picking out a set of keys. He throws them to me.
“Those are my keys. The only reason I'm lending you them is that it’ll be fun to castrate you if I notice that something goes missing or if someone complains. I want them back tomorrow morning, now get out.”
I’m happy I’m able to leave the awkward situation, that Heechul didn’t even seem to care about, but even more happy that I can go through with my plan now.
I knock.
Jaejoong asks who I am.
I don’t reply and knock again.
I wait for a few of the most agonizing seconds of my life, what if he-
I don’t even get to come up with a few of the thousands of horrible endings to that sentence because the door slowly opens. Revealing a bare-chested Jaejoong. I try not to get distracted.
His eyes widen when he sees me.
“Can I come in?”
After a short silence he opens the door wider and steps back. I notice that he tenses when I pass him. When I’m inside of the room he immediately moves away from me, keeping a safe distance.
He’s afraid to lose control, just like he said.
He’s also staring at me, at my neck. I smile, gather my courage and start explaining.
“It’s my birthday today.”
His eyes shoot up to my face. Does it matter a lot to him? I don’t feel much older and wiser than I was yesterday, I can just legally work here now, that’s all. I continue.
“My birthday is close to Christmas and because we’re poor we used to celebrate them on the same day. Which means...”
I sure hope it isn’t pity I see in Jaejoong’s eyes. That’s not the point I’m trying to make here.
“Which means that I’m used to giving away presents on my birthday.”
I smile when I see a change in his eyes, a hopeful glint.
“You stripped, taking everything off, just for me. And I liked what I saw. I want to be yours, really.”
I point at the red ribbon I tied into a bow around my neck, I chose an element from his show to make clear that I want him to be a big part, all, of my growing sexual experience from now on. I grab the long ribbon I attached to it like a leash and hold it out, offering it to him.
“Will you accept this present?”
Part 3
Part 1
Pairings: JaeChun, XiMin, and mentions of more.
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Yoochun has a crush on the best stripper in town. He might get sex, or romance, or both, or nothing. (written from his POV).
Warnings: Chun is 17, Jae is 23. Oh, and I changed someone’s birthday.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anyone. But if Heechul owned a strip club that only accepts rich businessmen, I’d borrow money and dress up as one.
A/N: For be-ddelusionall ♥
Okay, so, three parts now (that reminds me of someone 8'D).
I just want to say thank you! for being the reason I joined LJ and then the reason I started writing and then the first person ever to comment on the first ever thing I wrote *hugs forever*
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! ♥
And, you’re in this :D Not your name, but it’s kind of obvious *giggles*
I really hope you like it!
The following week passes in a blur. A blur of hard dicks.
Not really of course. It’s a blur of hard dicks and Jaejoong.
A blur of pretending to sleep at night, eating but giving most of my food to my mother and brother, telling them I won’t be back until early morning again because I have to help clean up after the shows, putting on my tight uniform.
And Jaejoong.
He isn’t quite part of my life but I can’t separate him from it either. It’s hard watching him perform and still being able to feel this hard cock in me.
He was part of me but not really that time too. He was pushing my body apart to make place for himself. And I loved it.
It’s hard watching him perform and realizing that I’m denying to myself that I wouldn’t mind if he does what he did again. He didn’t rape me, he seemed to care enough about me trying to push him away that I could have stopped him.
My resolve to leave weakens every time I see him. But this isn’t... this will make me miserable.
It’s the worst watching him perform knowing it might be the fourth, third, second to last time.
After six days of complaining in my head that I can’t find a job at all, I realize that I haven’t really been looking. I’m about to bang my head against the wall as a punishment for being so weak when someone grabs my shoulder.
It’s Junsu, and he’s smiling.
“Heechul is going to double your pay.”
I gape at him.
After a while Junsu rolls his eyes. “What? You think I’m going to call someone who’s had his dick down my throat ‘Mister Kim’?”
That wasn’t what stunned me, but now I’m trying to fight the images, momentarily distracted from my main shock.
“He’s going to what why?” I finally manage.
“Triple it if that’s what you need.” Junsu smiles again. “He didn’t look happy when he said that, but man, I don’t know what you did, because Heechul is stingy as hell, but he stays true to his word. He told me to get you so he can tell you himself actually, but I was curious and teased it out of him.”
Junsu smirks and does a full hip roll.
Heechul doesn’t care about me that much, I don’t believe that and... suddenly it hits me that I haven’t even... “Hyung, I haven’t even told him yet that I’m thinking of leaving yet.”
Junsu looks surprised for a moment before his big smile is back and he shakes his head, mumbling to himself. “So he did after all...”
He shouldn’t talk to himself right now, I need him to explain this to me.
I’m about to ask when he says: “I’m not blind, Yoochun.”
What is that supposed to mean?
Junsu is already turning around to walk away when he adds: “I told Jaejoong you were going to quit and why. Don’t forget to go see Heechul. He doesn’t like to wait.”
I stand in the hallway, baffled, for probably more than a few minutes before banging my head against the wall after all, because I think I’m going crazy.
Jaejoong convincing Heechul to give me a raise is even harder to believe than Heechul deciding he wants to keep me no matter what by himself.
And Junsu said he wasn’t blind. What has he seen?
I drag myself to Heechul’s office, still not knowing what to think about this.
“How much do you need?” He doesn’t sound happy.
“I...”
“Speak up, boy.”
“.. Junsu said you’d... d-double?”
“Double, and you’ll stay?” Heechul tries to keep his face serious, but I see his eyes light up, he’d expected me to ask more.
I probably should, I have the opportunity. But why does Heechul suddenly want to keep me so badly?
After what Junsu told me, the only possible explanation I can come up with is that Jaejoong told Heechul he’d quit if I do. Heechul would care about losing Jaejoong.
But that’s not really a possible explanation at all. He... what... why? No.
Lets just pretend Heechul has gone insane and he came up with this all by himself. How much do I want to ask?
I don’t deserve a raise. I’m not even doing my job properly. I’d feel bad.
But I want to try to convince Yoohwan that he doesn’t have to do what he’s doing. I want to buy him and my mother nice gifts for Christmas. I...
“Double it and I’ll stay.”
Heechul smiles at me. “Very well. Sign here.”
I leave Heechul’s office feeling slightly dazed. My pay wasn’t that good before, but it was decent, especially if you consider that I only have to stand around for a few hours every night and then do some cleaning.
Now I’ll have so much more money and it feels great but I also feel bad because I don’t really deserve it and I still don’t even know why-
I have a very déjà vu like feeling when I walk into a broad chest, bow, stammer an apology and lift my head to find Jaejoong staring at me.
I freeze.
Suddenly I remember why I’d decided to leave in the first place. I mentally groan. When Heechul asked me I didn’t even think about how leaving would be protecting myself against Jaejoong... against myself.
But in six days I’d already forgotten how much more breathtaking Jaejoong is from up close.
Why did I want to leave again? Slowly all reason behind that slips from my mind and all I can do is stare into his big eyes.
That’s what he does too, just stare at me.
After a while I feel that this silence needs to be broken and I part my lips to say something, but I’m startled by how fast his eyes shoot to my mouth and stay fixed on it.
I gasp when he suddenly steps forward and before I know what’s happening I’m pinned against the wall, hands above my head in his tight hold.
His body is pressed up against mine, again, and while I’m not hard this time, I feel that it won’t be long, especially with the way he’s still staring at me and his warm breath is hitting my face.
“How much is he paying you? Is it enough?” He finally asks.
I gasp again. “I... were you? Did you-” I cut myself off. It seems stupid to assume that Jaejoong wanted to help me. I don’t have proof for that at all, just Junsu’s vague implication. I turn my head away.
Jaejoong’s hand, the one that isn’t creating fresh bruises on my wrists, grabs my chin and forces me to look at him again.
“Why can’t I get off with anyone else anymore without imagining it’s your body squirming under me? Why can’t I stop thinking about you? Why did it hurt when Junsu told me you were going to quit? That you told him that right after you’d been with me, did you hate it that much? Why, Yoochun, tell me.”
Jaejoong’s voice is low and soft, but not calm. My eyes widen at his words. Does he... does this mean? What would Jaejoong see in me?!
It’s like he reads my mind.
“You said you wanted more. I didn’t even get it at first. Nobody has ever wanted anything but my body. No one ever... During my shows this week, when I knew you were there watching me, I felt.. I felt naked. I felt like I was only stripping the top layers as always but you were staring right through the bottom ones.”
Jaejoong closes his eyes and shakes his head.
“I don’t know what it is about you, but I feel like I’ve done something wrong in fucking you, you’re the only one who didn’t seem to... Everybody always wants me to... what I did... But you cried, you resisted at first and then you cried. And you’re so young. Fuck, I hurt you, and you hate me now...”
His grip on my wrists loosens and my arms fall down. He tries to move away from me, but I won’t let him. There is no way I’m letting this moment that finally feels like a dream come true slip away. It probably is a dream, but I don’t care. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him, pressing up against him.
“I don’t hate you,” I whisper. “I liked it, I mean, I liked... I would like you to do what you did again, if I know that you think about me, if I’m not just a number on your list. I don’t want to be, I can’t do it.”
He looks at me, our faces so close, and suddenly I’m pressed up against the wall again, but this time is different. This time his hands grip my ass and his tongue, his tongue pushes past my lips and explores my mouth. Rough, needy, but heaven.
His lips are on mine. Jaejoong’s lips are on mine, and his tongue shows me his power and dominance, something I never knew I craved for this much.
I moan.
His body tenses. I feel it everywhere he’s pressed against me, which is in a lot of places, and wonder what is wrong.
He pulls back and steps away from me, eyes closed, breathing harsh.
I try to follow him, but one of his arms keeps me at a distance.
“No! No, I don’t want to ruin this again, I thought I already had, but if you still give me a chance I don’t want to mess it up.”
“What-” I shut my mouth when Jaejoong gives me a pained look.
“I don’t want you to feel you need to repay me with your body. Yes, I made Heechul pay you more because you said you needed money, but mostly because I want you to stay here, close to me. That’s selfish, you don’t owe me.”
“I don’t...” I hadn’t even thought about that yet. But Jaejoong has? He doesn’t want me to feel like a hooker? I am seriously starting to doubt that this is more than just a dream. But, assuming that it’s real, how badly does Jaejoong want to keep me close? It’s not that I don’t want to believe that he does, but I just can’t.
I get an idea and it feels insane because if this isn’t a dream I might ruin it.
“How do you know I accepted Heechul’s offer?” I ask, and I immediately brace myself for his reaction. What if he shrugs and walks away?
I force myself to keep looking at his face and see his eyes widen. Of all the times I have looked into them from up close today and last week, this is the first time they actually tell me what he’s feeling deep inside.
My breath catches when I realize that he stripped for me, really stripped himself off all his defensive layers that I didn’t even know were there. I might have unconsciously felt it every time I watched him on stage and my feelings for him grew, but for the past week I believed that he was nothing more than an arrogant stripper who sees people as toys to control and play with. Who knew he was this insecure underneath?
His eyes show hurt, and sadness. I immediately feel bad and want to take back what I said.
“I thought...” he starts, but before he can finish I’m hugging him again.
“Of course I accepted it. Thank you.”
He pushes me away again and I frown.
“Don’t scare me like that.” He uses his dominating voice, the one that radiates power. I shiver.
“And stay away from me.”
My frown is back, but he says: “If you keep coming that close I’m going to fuck you into a wall again. You said you wanted more than just my body, right?”
I nod. “I want to get to know you.”
His expression softens.
From everything he’s told me I can guess what he’s thinking now. I never thought.. never expected him to be so new to this. Has he ever even had a normal relationship? He’s so shaken by the fact that I want more than sex.
“Let’s do that..”
“What?”
“If you want.. get to know... you know...”
This feels like Jaejoong’s striptease. The reversal of our roles. Last week I was the insecure one, I still am, I think, but it’s so hard to believe when Jaejoong willingly shows me his most vulnerable side like this.
And then the power is back. He steps towards me looking so scary that I press back against the wall. “But if you tell anyone about this, use this to boast about being close to me, you lose your job, and maybe more. I’ve had enough people use me like some nice car to show off.”
I nod, and he turns around and walks away.
The next few days I wonder how exactly he wants to get to know me, if he even wants that at all, if he wasn’t just playing with me, if he’s changed his mind...
I see him on stage, and he looks the same. Does he expect me to come find him? I don’t have keys to the locked parts of the club.
Does he regret what he said and is he ignoring me?
I’m in the toilet, after Jaejoong’s show, hoping no one else will come in as I free my throbbing erection and sigh when I wrap my hand around it.
My strokes are fast, irritated, desperate, trying to hide my insecurity.
It think about how nothing has changed. How I’m still here, alone, pathetic.
But mostly I think about the way his skin was glowing today, about how his muscles waved and his lips parted. I remember how his tongue felt, slithering around in my mouth and wrapped around mine. The heat of his body against me, his fingers digging into my ass.
My cock pulses and with a shuddering gasp I cover my hand in come before sagging against the wall behind me.
I clean myself up, close my pants and walk outside. This is my sex life. No wonder Jaejoong has decided he doesn’t want me anymore.
Even the broad chest I run into in the hallway doesn’t belong to him. That would have sent me into a real depression if the person hadn’t been Junsu instead.
“Hey, watch where you’re going,” he chuckles, grabbing my shoulders and pushing me away so we can look at each other.
His eyes twinkle. “I have something for you.”
I haven’t really spoken to Junsu about Jaejoong yet, not directly. But I know that he’s got a general idea of what’s going on and that he encourages it.
I don’t think he’s hiding Jaejoong behind his back though, so whatever he wants to give me can’t be that exciting.
For it to be a piece of paper is even more disappointing than I’d expected.
Until I fold it open and read the first line of the neat handwriting.
My heart speeds up.
Junsu squeezes my shoulder and I look up at him. He’s smiling and points at the door behind me. “Go read in there, where no one will bother you and ask you to do things.”
I smile, but he doesn’t let my shoulder go yet and his smile turns into a smirk. “And don’t stroke off again if you don’t want someone to come in and rape you, the walls aren’t very soundproof.”
I feel a blush creep up my cheeks and realize that I’ve done nothing to muffle my moans and shouts today.
But I don’t waste too much time feeling embarrassed. I thank Junsu and sprint back to where I came from. Where, just minutes ago, I thought that nothing had changed.
Yoochun,
I don’t know how to start. And I feel like a teenage girl writing a letter to her imaginative overly romantic boyfriend. I’m not good at this, that’s why I’ve been avoiding you. I’m sorry.
I figure that if we want to get to know each other we should.. know things about each other. And I know we should just talk. But I haven’t had sex with anybody since I told you about what you did to me and I can’t be close to you right now because I don’t know if I can control myself.
Call me.
I stare at the number. Jaejoong’s number.
I get my phone from my pocket and stare at it.
I only have this because I want my mother and Yoohwan to be able to contact me. It feels like a family thing. Calling Jaejoong with this feels like accepting him into it. I guess that is a good first step.
“Yoochun?”
“Yes.”
“Ask me a question.”
I stay silent for a while.
“I’ll answer it. A question about me.”
This feels like something important I have to really think about for a while, but then suddenly I don’t.
“Do you like your job?”
“... I do, why?”
He sounds like he means it, somehow that feels like a relief. “I just... I always wonder about that when you perform. Why did you become a stripper when you could have been a model, a dancer, maybe a-”
“A singer.”
“What?”
“I’ve always wanted to be a singer, or an actor. I can sing too you know, believe it or not.” He chuckles, I like the sound, but there’s some sadness in his voice when he continues. “But I didn’t make enough money as a beginning artist. I had my sisters to take care of after my parents died, and when they couldn’t get good jobs and they saw me struggle they were thinking... I don’t know if you have siblings, but the idea of them going into... of them selling themselves” he almost whispered that “it would have killed me. I had to start making more money. And then I met Heechul.”
I swallow.
“Yoochun?”
I hear someone enter the cubicle next to mine and tell myself I’m not answering because of that, but I know that’s not true.
“Yoochun?”
Jaejoong is stronger than I am. He gave up his dream. I could have had a better job by now. Of course my raise changes things but before that.. I wouldn’t even give up a crush.
“Yoochun, shit, did I.. Do you have..”
“Brother”, I try to make my voice sound steady. I have to tell him, it’s only fair, Jaejoong answered my question too. “A younger brother.”
“... I’m sorry.”
“I try to get him to stop, but it gets harder every day. The past few weeks he actually seemed happy with what he does...”
“Yoochun.. it must be so hard, I’m so sorry I..”
“It’s okay, he’s okay really. Somehow he meets decent people. I check his body for bruises when he sleeps and I would feel when he fakes a smile.”
Suddenly I’m pouring my heart out to this stripper I barely know. It just feels good to be able to talk about this.
“He’s had a regular customer for a while now, a rich businessman who’s a lot older, but somehow he makes him.. happy.”
“What’s his name?”
“My brother’s?”
“The customer. If it’s a rich businessman, I know him.”
“.. I think it was Lee Donghae.”
“Fuck.”
I freeze.
“You meant rich, rich, rich businessman.”
“Jaejoong? Why ‘fuck’ what’s with him, is he-”
“The fuck was for how rich he is. Yoochun, that man could buy himself a galaxy.”
“But is he-”
“He’s a good man, kind, don’t worry. Not even an arrogant bastard despite how rich he is.”
I sigh in relief.
“He actually hired me once for a private striptease.”
That has me frowning.. so Jaejoong does do that.
“He started by asking if I wasn’t forced to work here, said that he’d still pay if didn’t strip for him, give me an evening off. He actually meant it too, it wasn’t just sweet talk. It was nice, but eventually I got tired of the talking and gave him the show of his life. He came in his pants.”
I can hear Jaejoong’s smirk in his voice.
We’re silent for a while.
“Ask me another question.”
This time I do think for a while.
“What.. What is the story behind your show?”
“Fuck, Yoochun, you can’t just ask me what my favorite food is, can you?”
I smile, because it doesn’t sound like he minds. I decide I like talking to Jaejoong.
“I wanted to be an actor and when I.. chose this road, I saw it as a step back.. obviously. At first people told me what to do, but when I got my own show I decided to give it a message, something deeper than hot and steamy. I knew no one would ever get it, but it made me feel... more artistic.”
I feel bad for not getting the message.
“What is the message?”
“You’re the first one to ever ask.”
“You don’t have to tell me if it’s.. personal or something.”
Jaejoong laughs. “It isn’t, it’s just sex.”
“Sex?”
“I know. I tried to give a striptease more meaning by making it about sex. You can laugh now.”
“No, explain.”
I hear Jaejoong take a deep breath. “You’re insecure at first, bound by your doubts and fear, tortured by thoughts of the other not enjoying it. Later you get more confident, when you gain experience and learn about your partner, or about how to pleasure someone in general, and you control your fear. Something like that.” He adds the last line with an insecure chuckle.
“I like it.”
“.. thank you. I- shit... I have to go, someone requested me. Can I call you tomorrow?”
I don’t lower my phone and stay in the same position for at least a few minutes.
I don’t know if I should feel ecstatic about the conversation that just took place or if I should torture myself with thoughts of Jaejoong stripping for someone, alone.
He calls me and we talk to each other every day, and it’s nice, Jaejoong is nice, but the sexual tension grows, I feel it. I feel like Jaejoong is hiding something from me, some reason why we can’t just meet face to face again.
“Yoochun?”
“Yes?”
“Do you like me?”
“Yes.”
“That’s not what I mean.”
“.. still yes.”
“I hurt you.”
“You didn’t.”
“You’re too young.”
“I’m practically an adult. I’ve taken care of a family for 5 years, that should have done something for my mental age, and I’m not a virgin.”
“I can’t.”
“You can’t what?” The question sounds like it comes out easily, but I know this is turning into a serious conversation. I have to really try to keep sounding casual.
“I’m not... I like you, I do like you, too, but I thought about it, and I’m not the right person.”
My hand tightens around my phone. I should have expected this to end. It was too good to be true anyway.
“Why?”
“...what I did to you. It seems extreme, but it was mild to me, Yoochun. That was mildly kinky to me. I’m.. I’m not sure, no, I’m sure, I’m sure that I won’t be able to hide my true self. I’ll hurt you again.”
I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. That’s all?
“I told you, you didn’t hurt me. And I want it.”
His voice suddenly gets low and commanding. “Do you really?”
I remember the way my body reacted and I want to say yes, but before I can he adds: “There’s no going back. I can’t lock away a part of myself when you suddenly back out.”
And suddenly I’m not sure. Dominant Jaejoong turns me on, but I’ve gotten to know his soft side now and I fell in love with it...
I don’t want to miss that. I don’t... but... I’m not sure.. I’m just not sure.
“What I’d ask of you is to be mine, only mine. Mine to play with, to tease and torture as I please. That scares you, Yoochun, doesn’t it?”
I don’t reply.
“I have to go.”
The next day Jaejoong doesn’t call. I watch his show. He seems less energetic than usual.
The day after he doesn’t call either.
I contemplate calling him, but I don’t know what to say.
I want to say that I’ll be his, but I’m scared. His warning made it sound like I’ll lose a part of him when I do.
It’s hard not knowing if he’s giving me time or if he already thinks it’s over. ...if we even had anything to begin with.
When I really can’t stand it anymore, I decide to ask Junsu for advice.
I never know where Junsu is after the shows have ended, he might get requested, sometimes he comes to find me, but most often he’s with Changmin.
I know where to find Changmin. He is here every evening Junsu is, waiting for the moment Junsu can go home with him, only drinking too much when he’s particularly frustrated. He has his own spot at the bar.
When he’s not drunk, Changmin is really impressive. He’s tall and handsome and the few times I’ve spoken to him he seemed pretty smart. Junsu says he’s a genius, but Junsu is in love, so I’m not sure how accurate his judgement is.
Every time I see Junsu in Changmin’s embrace, their bodies fitting together perfectly, I feel a bit of jealousy. But I’m happy for them.
Changmin isn’t in his spot.
I know Junsu can’t be gone yet, they almost never let him go this early. Maybe they snuck off to one of the private rooms that isn’t used right now. They would probably mind if I interrupt when they’re kissing, but I can always check and come back later to see if they’re done, right?
Of the few rooms that aren’t used for customers only one has a closed door. When I near it I see that it isn’t completely closed, I can peek inside.
Changmin and Junsu are doing more than just kissing.
I know I shouldn’t stay and watch, but I’m stunned, frozen.
I never doubted that Changmin is a top, considering how he looks and acts and.. Junsu is a stripper. Wait, that doesn’t say anything, Jaejoong is a stripper too.
Just... the image of Changmin I had in my head makes it shocking to see him on his back on a table, hands above his head and his tie around it, digging into his cheeks and gagging him.
He whimpers, eyes squeezed shut, and I trace the shape of his naked body with my eyes to the point where it’s connected to Junsu.
Junsu is on his knees. He’s lifted Changmin’s ass and pushed his knees up, holding his thighs to make his thrusts deeper and harder. His face shows pure ecstasy, but behind a mask of control.
I shouldn’t watch, but I still can’t move.
Junsu pounds into Changmin, he seems to keep going faster and faster. Changmin arches his back and cries out behind his gag.
He tries to move an arm down, probably to stroke himself, but Junsu reaches down and pinches one of his nipples. “No.” It sounds powerful, commanding. Changmin whines.
Junsu speeds up more, throwing his head back, Changmin starts to buck his hips up, trying to meet his thrusts, a constant moan sounds from his throat.
Junsu looks down at him and smirks. “Are you going to come, love?”
Changmin cries out again. I see his eyes roll back into his head and strings of white landing onto his stomach.
Junsu groans and loses his rhythm.
I watch him slump down on top of Changmin and I watch as they cuddle. I think I should feel guilt for spying on them, but I just feel envy.
Junsu reaches up and pulls the tie out of Changmin’s mouth. “Was that okay?” he asks softly. I can barely hear it.
“I loved it, I love you”, Changmin pants.
“Are you sure you’re okay too?” Junsu asks, and Changmin smiles and nods, lifting his head for a kiss.
I finally manage to step away from the door and lean against the wall next to it.
I’m so stupid. If Jaejoong likes me, cares about me, which he says he does, not just for my body, then it doesn’t matter how kinky the sex gets. He’ll always be himself in every way, the soft side too.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll give him my answer.
The next day is scary, stressful. I’m nervous, mostly because I’m afraid that he’ll have changed his mind and will refuse me, but also because I have a plan that I need Heechul’s help with.
I knock and he says I can enter. I immediately regret it when I do.
Heechul is sitting behind his desk and smiles at me, but his eyes are a bit hazy, glazed over. His smile widens and he looks down, one hand reaching for something between his legs. I can’t see anything, but I know the sounds of a blow job.
“Good girl. Right there,” Heechul says before looking back up at me.
“You want?”
I clear my throat and try to fight my blush and make my voice sound steady. “I.. um.. can I maybe borrow a key to get to Jaejoong’s room? Just for tonight. I won’t bother anyone, I just want to give him something.”
Heechul looks at me for a while before opening a drawer and picking out a set of keys. He throws them to me.
“Those are my keys. The only reason I'm lending you them is that it’ll be fun to castrate you if I notice that something goes missing or if someone complains. I want them back tomorrow morning, now get out.”
I’m happy I’m able to leave the awkward situation, that Heechul didn’t even seem to care about, but even more happy that I can go through with my plan now.
I knock.
Jaejoong asks who I am.
I don’t reply and knock again.
I wait for a few of the most agonizing seconds of my life, what if he-
I don’t even get to come up with a few of the thousands of horrible endings to that sentence because the door slowly opens. Revealing a bare-chested Jaejoong. I try not to get distracted.
His eyes widen when he sees me.
“Can I come in?”
After a short silence he opens the door wider and steps back. I notice that he tenses when I pass him. When I’m inside of the room he immediately moves away from me, keeping a safe distance.
He’s afraid to lose control, just like he said.
He’s also staring at me, at my neck. I smile, gather my courage and start explaining.
“It’s my birthday today.”
His eyes shoot up to my face. Does it matter a lot to him? I don’t feel much older and wiser than I was yesterday, I can just legally work here now, that’s all. I continue.
“My birthday is close to Christmas and because we’re poor we used to celebrate them on the same day. Which means...”
I sure hope it isn’t pity I see in Jaejoong’s eyes. That’s not the point I’m trying to make here.
“Which means that I’m used to giving away presents on my birthday.”
I smile when I see a change in his eyes, a hopeful glint.
“You stripped, taking everything off, just for me. And I liked what I saw. I want to be yours, really.”
I point at the red ribbon I tied into a bow around my neck, I chose an element from his show to make clear that I want him to be a big part, all, of my growing sexual experience from now on. I grab the long ribbon I attached to it like a leash and hold it out, offering it to him.
“Will you accept this present?”
Part 3
Part 1