musesandlyrics | 2.3 Jimi Hendrix Quote
2.3. "I'm the one that's got to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to."
Jimi Hendrix
Co-written with tacticalmind | Follows THIS
It was five in the morning, and Rob was going to hell. Directly to hell. The sun was barely just starting to rise, and he was about to ring the buzzer of an apartment housing more than one person, and probably wake them all up. Maybe even with a baby still visiting, which he really hoped wasn't the case because he would go to even deeper hell if he woke a baby up on top of everything else. But time was the whole crux of the matter, because there wasn't very much of it. By now, he didn't even know if he was doing the right thing or not, he was just operating on sheer adrenaline and very little sleep. The strange headache beginning between his eyes told him this. What was he doing? He didn't particularly know, but he knew he just had to try. It wasn't like he could do any of it alone, and if she didn't want it, he wouldn't push her. At the very least, at least she would know he would. That was better than nothing, right?
"You're a goddamn jerk, Laird," he muttered to himself as he hovered in front of the apartment block. Couldn't he have at least waited until the sun was up? He could, but the flight was for just after 9am. He hoped even if she wavered on what he was about to ask her, she might still take the trip to Vegas with him and they could have the night and day together there before he had to leave on Thursday. He was just so nervous that his stomach felt like it was lodged up in his chest and he let out a rush of breath as he pushed the heel of his palm against the apartment buzzer just long enough to alert his presence, but not long enough to be obnoxious.
Leila was pulled roughly out of her sleep by the sound of the buzzer closely followed by Luke and Tab cursing. Thankfully there was no sleeping baby, otherwise the small apartment might have been filled with a screaming ball of flesh. Leila called out to her cousin, and his wife, telling them to stay in bed while she took care of it. Leila had been asleep on the sofa bed, the apartment a single bedroom place. She was hardly going to boot Luke and Tab from the bedroom once they came back to their own apartment. She'd just wait for them to go back to Princeton whenever that was. At least they were finding a way to cope in the space. Even when Rob had come over the other night.
She opened the window, leaning out of it to get a look at who was down on the stoop. She recognised Rob immediately, and grinned. "Hey, lover," she called out, giving him a wave before she went to buzz open the door to the building, and then unlocking the door to the apartment. She didn't bother getting out of the t-shirt and boxers she'd been sleeping in, stifling a yawn as she shuffled into the kitchen to make coffee while she waited for him.
Rob was going over words and questions over and over in his head as he bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She didn't sound angry or pissed that he had disrupted her sleep, so maybe she just thought he was trying to get an early start on the day, and their time left together? It was Tuesday morning. If they flew out to Vegas on the flight he had booked, they would get there in the afternoon, have the night together and then the following day before they would need to fly back the following afternoon so he could be in New York to leave for Afghanistan on Thursday morning. He fucking hoped the adrenaline had staying power. He didn't actually look 'rested'. In fact, he probably looked like hell, but he figured he could sleep on the plane.
He hesitantly went into the apartment, still not sure for certain where he stood with her family. He probably stood firmly in the shit books now. He hovered for a few moments, trying to spot where she was before he caught movement off to the left, leaning to see her in the kitchen. His heart leapt up into his throat and he had to swallow heavily to try and stop it escaping his mouth. "Hey," he greeted her hoarsely, and actually hesitated at kissing her, the nerves kicking in full force, before his conscience kicked him in the butt to remind him to do it, and he went over to give her a kiss, hand resting on her hip.
Leila reached out to touch his arm, frowning as she looked up at him after the kiss. The hesitation hadn't escaped her notice, even if she was still half asleep. Her tongue darted to skate across her lips, like she was trying to work out what was wrong with him just by his lingering taste. "Always did like a man eager to see me. Maybe we should think about getting you your own key. I know you won't be able to use it much now, but when you come back..." Assuming Leila was even still in New York. She had no idea how long Rob would be gone, or where she'd be. With Andy losing the baby, she had no idea what to do. She was tempted to just stay so she could be with her family from now on in. Plus it would give Rob somewhere to come back to. He'd know where she was.
"Yeah... sure..." Rob agreed, not actually linking the enormity of what she had just said in his head. He shifted his weight nervously, eyes sweeping over the coffee making items without really taking much of anything in. "I... there's something I..." He closed his mouth again, floundering a little as his hand tried to take over in lieu of speech and he waved it a little pointlessly in the air. Suddenly this was seeming like a stupid, impulsive action and he was getting cold feet, purely from not actually being able to know how to approach her with this without freaking her out. But why wouldn't she freak out? He may as well just declare he was gay and wanted a French lover called Pierre for the impact it was going to have.
Leila slid her hand down to his hand, and curled her fingers around it tightly. "What's wrong, Littlerock? You're all... I don't know. Did you get another call? Did we lose the three days?" A sharp pain twisted in her gut, and she realised if she had lost the three days she'd be devastated. She was relying on these three days, hoping that somehow she'd be able to say goodbye to him without losing it. She was going to miss him enough as it was. "You can tell me anything, remember?"
Rob exhaled heavily in a rush and turned to her, squeezing her hand. The both of his around it. This was hard. He had no ring, no general conventional props that would make a moment like this a lot easier. Not to mention that he was more than aware that she would not be anticipating this at all, and she probably didn't even want it. What the hell was he playing at?! His heart was pounding in his chest and he tried to hold onto his composure. Actually, maybe he did have something to help him. He looked down at his hands around hers. He had a gold ring on the pinkie of his right hand, a crest that had his grandfather's initials on it, which just happened to be the same as his own. His hands were shaking a little, but he managed to slip it off and held it up. "I want you to have this," he told her and bit down on his lips. "There's something... I thought..." He hesitated and just held the ring out to her, waiting for her response to that first.
Leila squinted at the ring, wrapping her fingers around his wrist to try and keep it steady so she could focus on the ring. Now she wished she'd grabbed her glasses, but she'd been too sleepy to even think of them. She leaned forward to try and get a better, look, her mouth falling open a little. "Your ring? But it... it means so much to you. Are you sure?" There was something about the way he was giving it to her that had Leila wondering if maybe there was something more to it. She briefly entertained the idea of a proposal, but dismissed it. Surely it wasn't that. "It's beautiful, and I'd love to keep it, but are you sure?"
Rob swallowed, and realised somewhere between taking the ring off and offering it to her, his breathing had become just slightly more shallow than usual. He hadn't even been this nervous when he proposed to Ellie, but that was probably because she had been expecting it for months and kept having her friends ask him when he was going to do it. Hell, she had her mother ask him when he was going to do, which guilted him into actually doing it. He should have trusted that little niggle in his gut back then that was holding him off on doing it. That niggle was telling him a whole different story now. It was amazing how a little niggle could say so much. He looked at the ring and her hands wrapped around his as she looked closely at it. "Leila, I..." he began, wetting his lips as his eyes went from their hands to her face. "Will you marry me?"
Leila looked at him at first like maybe he was crazy. That maybe he was in on some joke she wasn't getting. Then she looked down at the ring again, and frowned. Slowly it was trickling through her mind just what he was asking her, and the knot in her stomach loosened, and became more like butterflies. She'd never really dated before, let alone had someone propose to her. And she definitely hadn't been expecting it. A part of her was definitely telling her to say no, but the rest of her? The rest of her was actually dying to say yes. She was already becoming reliant on him. She couldn't go a day anymore without seeing him, and the idea of him being in Afghanistan was slowly eating away at her. "Yes," she replied quietly.
Rob's eyes were wide. "What?" was his answer, acknowledging now the fact he expected her to say no. Wait, wasn't it supposed to be the proposee doing the stunned, wide-eyed stare thing? He was getting this all wrong! "I mean, um! Yes," he repeated her answer with a laugh of disbelief, still gripping hold of the ring. "Did you say yes? Did I ask the right thing?" he asked, flustered, laughing nervously again.
Leila let out a laugh that matched his before she grinned, and held out her left hand for him to slide the ring onto if he wanted. "Yes, I said yes! Don't make me rethink it. Are you sure I'm the only one getting surprised by this proposal?" She raised her eyebrows a little as she pressed her lips together. "I don't know if you asked the right thing, that's up to you. Did you ask the right thing?"
"I'm horrible!" Rob declared and put his fingers up to his lips. The ring was still held out to her. He wasn't backing out on anything, he wanted this. He wanted this more than his rationality was letting him find the words to say. "It's not just... I mean... I do. Yes. I want you to say yes, I asked the right question, yes. I just... I did something else, and I wanted to ask you because I want to, but also because it's been driving me crazy how much it's going to mean with me just upping and going away on Thursday, and also what it won't mean. But I don't want you to think I'm just asking for that, because I'm not. I just... if there was a choice, I would have made this so much more better for you, and not in this painful rushed way that makes me think like I'm just doing this for other reasons, because I'm really not. I promise I'm not. But I... I don't mean to get married some time down the track..." he finally admitted.
Leila listened to him, her eyes fixed on his face. She was trying to follow him, she really was. She took the ring off him, and slid it onto her finger, buying her brain more time to process, and wake up. She had to admit, it wasn't a bad reason to be up this early. She didn't even notice when the jug finally clicked off to signal the hot water was boiled. The ring fit her finger, and the feel of it sent a tingle down her spine. She reached out to take his hand again and moved in closer to him. "Then what do you mean?"
Rob took the receipt from the airline that had been emailed to him from his pocket, handing it over to her. "Tomorrow?"
Leila took the paper, and held it close to her face as she squinted. She could just make out some of the words. "Tomorrow? Like, tomorrow-tomorrow?"
Rob nodded slowly. "Yeah, tomorrow-tomorrow," he confirmed and then put his hand up to scratch his head. "I know, it sounds stupid just thinking about it like that. It hasn't been long, and you probably think I'm nuts. But I realised if I go on Thursday, there is not much more I can give you to convince you that I would come home however long down the track and just... pick up where we left of. At the same time, there is no reason for you to even want to hang around and wait. I shouldn't expect that of you and not be able to give you something in return. I just didn't know what I could give you, I just wanted some way to show you how much you mean to me. But taking the emotion out of anything, and going right down to the technicalities. If I... if something happened to me. If I got injured... or killed, you wouldn't be notified. You wouldn't have any way of knowing, and even if you found out in some way, you wouldn't be privy to details or information."
"Unless I was your wife?" Leila asked, understanding beginning to dawn on her. She slipped her arms around him in a hug and rest her head on his shoulder. She couldn't believe he was actually giving this to her. It was a massive gesture on his part. "It's not stupid, it makes a crazy kind of sense. And the truth is I want it... I didn't even know until you were asking. You didn't even have to do this, I would have waited regardless. Not hearing anything would have been so hard. I didn't even think about that, either. So, tomorrow-tomorrow it is. I don't even have a dress."
"I just hate that this has to be so... procedural. I just ain't aware of what the lay of the land is in Afghanistan. Iraq it was all second nature, but this is a new post and I'm a new rank. I probably could have trusted my friends in my old brigade to get in touch with you if something happened, but I don't know any of the new guys. Besides, I just wanted to give you something. If you think about this and get cold feet, change your mind, it's okay, alright?" Rob insisted, holding her gaze as he kissed her softly. "I'll understand. I really will. We can just have an awesome time in Vegas away from everything until I go. If you still want to go through with it, we can buy anything you want or need there, my shout," he told her with a smile.
Leila didn't need to think about it. This was one moment when being relatively impulsive was on her side. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a deep kiss. She wasn't planning on backing out. Maybe it was insanity, and it was reckless, but she'd deal with all that later. This was a gift from him she was definitely not turning down. "I love you," she whispered as the kiss eased off. The words had slipped out without her even realising, and when she did, she gave him a sheepish look. They'd known each other for weeks, but she'd fallen, and it had been hard and fast. And it was probably why she could go through with a Vegas wedding and not think about it. "I'm not changing my mind, Littlerock. It's also okay if you decide to change yours. Just so you know. I didn't realise how much I needed a link to you until you asked."
Rob broke into a wide smile. "Me too!" he told her, and then regained his composure. "I mean, and I apologise for that dork moment, I love you too. I ain't gonna change my mind. I'm just realising that sometimes to get the right result, you gotta do things in maybe a not so conventional way. I'm a small town guy, it's a learning curve," he laughed softly. "And I'll make it up to you in Vegas. But I ain't dressing as Elvis for the ceremony. I gotta draw the line there," he said with a smirk.
"Draw the line anyway you want. You love me!" Leila exclaimed as she laughed, then kissed him again. "Shit, we're getting married. Wait, when are we going? I need to get changed! I should probably have a quick shower, too. Oh my god, I really want engagement sex, but maybe we should wait until tomorrow night. According to Luke, the Wedding Night is like the best ever sex. And so's married sex in general."
Rob's eyebrows shot up. "I guess it depends on who you're married to," he mused, his nose scrunched slightly in thought. Ellie hadn't been the best he'd had. In fact, Leila had. By leaps and bounds. And now he was just intrigued by linking her cousin's theory to that fact. He maybe even lapsed into a not-so-innocent train of thought for a moment, head tilted as he tried to imagine the best sex of his life maybe coming real soon. Which wasn't fair, because he immediately got hard and stepped back a little with a flush to his cheeks. "I, um... um... nine. We fly out at nine," he finally answered, clearing his throat.
He hadn't pulled away quickly enough, Leila feeling his reaction to whatever he'd been thinking. Leila smirked, and took him by the hand to lead him to the bathroom. "Plenty of time, then. I think you need a shower, too. All that running around, and proposing... It's hard work. You need to get all refreshed." And surely Luke wouldn't deny her once he understood. Things had gone quiet again in their bedroom, so for all she knew he was just enjoying some extremely stealthy marriage sex right now. She wasn't sure if she should tell him before she went, or just go and worry about the fall out after. Things with Andrew were still hard, but it wasn't like Leila would be gone for that long. She'd also need to tell Andrew as well, wouldn't she? Her cousins deserved to know. It was just a matter of whether it was now, or after the fact.
"Oh, I like how you think, Miss Jackson," Rob agreed with a mischievous grin, following her without protest. There was no doubt going to be fallout from what they were going to do. He just hoped it was brief shock and then much easier in the wake of it. He felt guilty not telling his folks, but he knew they would come to understand. His Mom had told him many times in the wake of the disaster with Ellie that he needed to start doing what made him happy. And Leila made him happy. Doing her made him happy too, and there was that naughty train of thought again. He could be quiet, right?
Leila got him into the bathroom, and closed the door, pressing Rob up against the sink as she slipped a hand between them to cup him through his pants. She smiled, pressing her lips to his neck. "And I like the way you feel, Sergeant Laird." They could both be quiet, right? Even if everything inside Leila wanted to be screaming her love for him. Especially now she'd actually told him. "I love you," she murmured again, her mouth and tongue sliding against his skin before she nipped at it lightly with her teeth. She was definitely going to take every chance to tell him over the next few days. She didn't want to think about what would happen when he was gone, but he was right. Getting married would keep them tied, and she needed something to latch onto. She'd never wanted to belong somewhere, or with someone, as badly as she did right now.
Words: 3575 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse
Jimi Hendrix
Co-written with tacticalmind | Follows THIS
It was five in the morning, and Rob was going to hell. Directly to hell. The sun was barely just starting to rise, and he was about to ring the buzzer of an apartment housing more than one person, and probably wake them all up. Maybe even with a baby still visiting, which he really hoped wasn't the case because he would go to even deeper hell if he woke a baby up on top of everything else. But time was the whole crux of the matter, because there wasn't very much of it. By now, he didn't even know if he was doing the right thing or not, he was just operating on sheer adrenaline and very little sleep. The strange headache beginning between his eyes told him this. What was he doing? He didn't particularly know, but he knew he just had to try. It wasn't like he could do any of it alone, and if she didn't want it, he wouldn't push her. At the very least, at least she would know he would. That was better than nothing, right?
"You're a goddamn jerk, Laird," he muttered to himself as he hovered in front of the apartment block. Couldn't he have at least waited until the sun was up? He could, but the flight was for just after 9am. He hoped even if she wavered on what he was about to ask her, she might still take the trip to Vegas with him and they could have the night and day together there before he had to leave on Thursday. He was just so nervous that his stomach felt like it was lodged up in his chest and he let out a rush of breath as he pushed the heel of his palm against the apartment buzzer just long enough to alert his presence, but not long enough to be obnoxious.
Leila was pulled roughly out of her sleep by the sound of the buzzer closely followed by Luke and Tab cursing. Thankfully there was no sleeping baby, otherwise the small apartment might have been filled with a screaming ball of flesh. Leila called out to her cousin, and his wife, telling them to stay in bed while she took care of it. Leila had been asleep on the sofa bed, the apartment a single bedroom place. She was hardly going to boot Luke and Tab from the bedroom once they came back to their own apartment. She'd just wait for them to go back to Princeton whenever that was. At least they were finding a way to cope in the space. Even when Rob had come over the other night.
She opened the window, leaning out of it to get a look at who was down on the stoop. She recognised Rob immediately, and grinned. "Hey, lover," she called out, giving him a wave before she went to buzz open the door to the building, and then unlocking the door to the apartment. She didn't bother getting out of the t-shirt and boxers she'd been sleeping in, stifling a yawn as she shuffled into the kitchen to make coffee while she waited for him.
Rob was going over words and questions over and over in his head as he bounded up the stairs, taking them two at a time. She didn't sound angry or pissed that he had disrupted her sleep, so maybe she just thought he was trying to get an early start on the day, and their time left together? It was Tuesday morning. If they flew out to Vegas on the flight he had booked, they would get there in the afternoon, have the night together and then the following day before they would need to fly back the following afternoon so he could be in New York to leave for Afghanistan on Thursday morning. He fucking hoped the adrenaline had staying power. He didn't actually look 'rested'. In fact, he probably looked like hell, but he figured he could sleep on the plane.
He hesitantly went into the apartment, still not sure for certain where he stood with her family. He probably stood firmly in the shit books now. He hovered for a few moments, trying to spot where she was before he caught movement off to the left, leaning to see her in the kitchen. His heart leapt up into his throat and he had to swallow heavily to try and stop it escaping his mouth. "Hey," he greeted her hoarsely, and actually hesitated at kissing her, the nerves kicking in full force, before his conscience kicked him in the butt to remind him to do it, and he went over to give her a kiss, hand resting on her hip.
Leila reached out to touch his arm, frowning as she looked up at him after the kiss. The hesitation hadn't escaped her notice, even if she was still half asleep. Her tongue darted to skate across her lips, like she was trying to work out what was wrong with him just by his lingering taste. "Always did like a man eager to see me. Maybe we should think about getting you your own key. I know you won't be able to use it much now, but when you come back..." Assuming Leila was even still in New York. She had no idea how long Rob would be gone, or where she'd be. With Andy losing the baby, she had no idea what to do. She was tempted to just stay so she could be with her family from now on in. Plus it would give Rob somewhere to come back to. He'd know where she was.
"Yeah... sure..." Rob agreed, not actually linking the enormity of what she had just said in his head. He shifted his weight nervously, eyes sweeping over the coffee making items without really taking much of anything in. "I... there's something I..." He closed his mouth again, floundering a little as his hand tried to take over in lieu of speech and he waved it a little pointlessly in the air. Suddenly this was seeming like a stupid, impulsive action and he was getting cold feet, purely from not actually being able to know how to approach her with this without freaking her out. But why wouldn't she freak out? He may as well just declare he was gay and wanted a French lover called Pierre for the impact it was going to have.
Leila slid her hand down to his hand, and curled her fingers around it tightly. "What's wrong, Littlerock? You're all... I don't know. Did you get another call? Did we lose the three days?" A sharp pain twisted in her gut, and she realised if she had lost the three days she'd be devastated. She was relying on these three days, hoping that somehow she'd be able to say goodbye to him without losing it. She was going to miss him enough as it was. "You can tell me anything, remember?"
Rob exhaled heavily in a rush and turned to her, squeezing her hand. The both of his around it. This was hard. He had no ring, no general conventional props that would make a moment like this a lot easier. Not to mention that he was more than aware that she would not be anticipating this at all, and she probably didn't even want it. What the hell was he playing at?! His heart was pounding in his chest and he tried to hold onto his composure. Actually, maybe he did have something to help him. He looked down at his hands around hers. He had a gold ring on the pinkie of his right hand, a crest that had his grandfather's initials on it, which just happened to be the same as his own. His hands were shaking a little, but he managed to slip it off and held it up. "I want you to have this," he told her and bit down on his lips. "There's something... I thought..." He hesitated and just held the ring out to her, waiting for her response to that first.
Leila squinted at the ring, wrapping her fingers around his wrist to try and keep it steady so she could focus on the ring. Now she wished she'd grabbed her glasses, but she'd been too sleepy to even think of them. She leaned forward to try and get a better, look, her mouth falling open a little. "Your ring? But it... it means so much to you. Are you sure?" There was something about the way he was giving it to her that had Leila wondering if maybe there was something more to it. She briefly entertained the idea of a proposal, but dismissed it. Surely it wasn't that. "It's beautiful, and I'd love to keep it, but are you sure?"
Rob swallowed, and realised somewhere between taking the ring off and offering it to her, his breathing had become just slightly more shallow than usual. He hadn't even been this nervous when he proposed to Ellie, but that was probably because she had been expecting it for months and kept having her friends ask him when he was going to do it. Hell, she had her mother ask him when he was going to do, which guilted him into actually doing it. He should have trusted that little niggle in his gut back then that was holding him off on doing it. That niggle was telling him a whole different story now. It was amazing how a little niggle could say so much. He looked at the ring and her hands wrapped around his as she looked closely at it. "Leila, I..." he began, wetting his lips as his eyes went from their hands to her face. "Will you marry me?"
Leila looked at him at first like maybe he was crazy. That maybe he was in on some joke she wasn't getting. Then she looked down at the ring again, and frowned. Slowly it was trickling through her mind just what he was asking her, and the knot in her stomach loosened, and became more like butterflies. She'd never really dated before, let alone had someone propose to her. And she definitely hadn't been expecting it. A part of her was definitely telling her to say no, but the rest of her? The rest of her was actually dying to say yes. She was already becoming reliant on him. She couldn't go a day anymore without seeing him, and the idea of him being in Afghanistan was slowly eating away at her. "Yes," she replied quietly.
Rob's eyes were wide. "What?" was his answer, acknowledging now the fact he expected her to say no. Wait, wasn't it supposed to be the proposee doing the stunned, wide-eyed stare thing? He was getting this all wrong! "I mean, um! Yes," he repeated her answer with a laugh of disbelief, still gripping hold of the ring. "Did you say yes? Did I ask the right thing?" he asked, flustered, laughing nervously again.
Leila let out a laugh that matched his before she grinned, and held out her left hand for him to slide the ring onto if he wanted. "Yes, I said yes! Don't make me rethink it. Are you sure I'm the only one getting surprised by this proposal?" She raised her eyebrows a little as she pressed her lips together. "I don't know if you asked the right thing, that's up to you. Did you ask the right thing?"
"I'm horrible!" Rob declared and put his fingers up to his lips. The ring was still held out to her. He wasn't backing out on anything, he wanted this. He wanted this more than his rationality was letting him find the words to say. "It's not just... I mean... I do. Yes. I want you to say yes, I asked the right question, yes. I just... I did something else, and I wanted to ask you because I want to, but also because it's been driving me crazy how much it's going to mean with me just upping and going away on Thursday, and also what it won't mean. But I don't want you to think I'm just asking for that, because I'm not. I just... if there was a choice, I would have made this so much more better for you, and not in this painful rushed way that makes me think like I'm just doing this for other reasons, because I'm really not. I promise I'm not. But I... I don't mean to get married some time down the track..." he finally admitted.
Leila listened to him, her eyes fixed on his face. She was trying to follow him, she really was. She took the ring off him, and slid it onto her finger, buying her brain more time to process, and wake up. She had to admit, it wasn't a bad reason to be up this early. She didn't even notice when the jug finally clicked off to signal the hot water was boiled. The ring fit her finger, and the feel of it sent a tingle down her spine. She reached out to take his hand again and moved in closer to him. "Then what do you mean?"
Rob took the receipt from the airline that had been emailed to him from his pocket, handing it over to her. "Tomorrow?"
Leila took the paper, and held it close to her face as she squinted. She could just make out some of the words. "Tomorrow? Like, tomorrow-tomorrow?"
Rob nodded slowly. "Yeah, tomorrow-tomorrow," he confirmed and then put his hand up to scratch his head. "I know, it sounds stupid just thinking about it like that. It hasn't been long, and you probably think I'm nuts. But I realised if I go on Thursday, there is not much more I can give you to convince you that I would come home however long down the track and just... pick up where we left of. At the same time, there is no reason for you to even want to hang around and wait. I shouldn't expect that of you and not be able to give you something in return. I just didn't know what I could give you, I just wanted some way to show you how much you mean to me. But taking the emotion out of anything, and going right down to the technicalities. If I... if something happened to me. If I got injured... or killed, you wouldn't be notified. You wouldn't have any way of knowing, and even if you found out in some way, you wouldn't be privy to details or information."
"Unless I was your wife?" Leila asked, understanding beginning to dawn on her. She slipped her arms around him in a hug and rest her head on his shoulder. She couldn't believe he was actually giving this to her. It was a massive gesture on his part. "It's not stupid, it makes a crazy kind of sense. And the truth is I want it... I didn't even know until you were asking. You didn't even have to do this, I would have waited regardless. Not hearing anything would have been so hard. I didn't even think about that, either. So, tomorrow-tomorrow it is. I don't even have a dress."
"I just hate that this has to be so... procedural. I just ain't aware of what the lay of the land is in Afghanistan. Iraq it was all second nature, but this is a new post and I'm a new rank. I probably could have trusted my friends in my old brigade to get in touch with you if something happened, but I don't know any of the new guys. Besides, I just wanted to give you something. If you think about this and get cold feet, change your mind, it's okay, alright?" Rob insisted, holding her gaze as he kissed her softly. "I'll understand. I really will. We can just have an awesome time in Vegas away from everything until I go. If you still want to go through with it, we can buy anything you want or need there, my shout," he told her with a smile.
Leila didn't need to think about it. This was one moment when being relatively impulsive was on her side. She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him into a deep kiss. She wasn't planning on backing out. Maybe it was insanity, and it was reckless, but she'd deal with all that later. This was a gift from him she was definitely not turning down. "I love you," she whispered as the kiss eased off. The words had slipped out without her even realising, and when she did, she gave him a sheepish look. They'd known each other for weeks, but she'd fallen, and it had been hard and fast. And it was probably why she could go through with a Vegas wedding and not think about it. "I'm not changing my mind, Littlerock. It's also okay if you decide to change yours. Just so you know. I didn't realise how much I needed a link to you until you asked."
Rob broke into a wide smile. "Me too!" he told her, and then regained his composure. "I mean, and I apologise for that dork moment, I love you too. I ain't gonna change my mind. I'm just realising that sometimes to get the right result, you gotta do things in maybe a not so conventional way. I'm a small town guy, it's a learning curve," he laughed softly. "And I'll make it up to you in Vegas. But I ain't dressing as Elvis for the ceremony. I gotta draw the line there," he said with a smirk.
"Draw the line anyway you want. You love me!" Leila exclaimed as she laughed, then kissed him again. "Shit, we're getting married. Wait, when are we going? I need to get changed! I should probably have a quick shower, too. Oh my god, I really want engagement sex, but maybe we should wait until tomorrow night. According to Luke, the Wedding Night is like the best ever sex. And so's married sex in general."
Rob's eyebrows shot up. "I guess it depends on who you're married to," he mused, his nose scrunched slightly in thought. Ellie hadn't been the best he'd had. In fact, Leila had. By leaps and bounds. And now he was just intrigued by linking her cousin's theory to that fact. He maybe even lapsed into a not-so-innocent train of thought for a moment, head tilted as he tried to imagine the best sex of his life maybe coming real soon. Which wasn't fair, because he immediately got hard and stepped back a little with a flush to his cheeks. "I, um... um... nine. We fly out at nine," he finally answered, clearing his throat.
He hadn't pulled away quickly enough, Leila feeling his reaction to whatever he'd been thinking. Leila smirked, and took him by the hand to lead him to the bathroom. "Plenty of time, then. I think you need a shower, too. All that running around, and proposing... It's hard work. You need to get all refreshed." And surely Luke wouldn't deny her once he understood. Things had gone quiet again in their bedroom, so for all she knew he was just enjoying some extremely stealthy marriage sex right now. She wasn't sure if she should tell him before she went, or just go and worry about the fall out after. Things with Andrew were still hard, but it wasn't like Leila would be gone for that long. She'd also need to tell Andrew as well, wouldn't she? Her cousins deserved to know. It was just a matter of whether it was now, or after the fact.
"Oh, I like how you think, Miss Jackson," Rob agreed with a mischievous grin, following her without protest. There was no doubt going to be fallout from what they were going to do. He just hoped it was brief shock and then much easier in the wake of it. He felt guilty not telling his folks, but he knew they would come to understand. His Mom had told him many times in the wake of the disaster with Ellie that he needed to start doing what made him happy. And Leila made him happy. Doing her made him happy too, and there was that naughty train of thought again. He could be quiet, right?
Leila got him into the bathroom, and closed the door, pressing Rob up against the sink as she slipped a hand between them to cup him through his pants. She smiled, pressing her lips to his neck. "And I like the way you feel, Sergeant Laird." They could both be quiet, right? Even if everything inside Leila wanted to be screaming her love for him. Especially now she'd actually told him. "I love you," she murmured again, her mouth and tongue sliding against his skin before she nipped at it lightly with her teeth. She was definitely going to take every chance to tell him over the next few days. She didn't want to think about what would happen when he was gone, but he was right. Getting married would keep them tied, and she needed something to latch onto. She'd never wanted to belong somewhere, or with someone, as badly as she did right now.
Words: 3575 | All muses referred to with permission and come from the princeton2nyc verse