"Samantha do you want to go out for a pizza with us?"

"I don't know mah...I just ate so I could take my pills."

"Well at least come so you can talk to us."

"Mah!!! My uterus hurts!"

"Oh Samantha! You are a fucking nut case you know that? And a whore. A nut case and a whore!"

Tom- Hows abouts yous gives mes my cockums back or I'll bust your skull in with this piece of wood thats been soaking in motor oil for the mast 87 years ( Read more... )

Uncle/Aunt Samantha and myself went to Alaska to hunt for Big Foot. I went over to some tracks in the ground to see if they were his and she tried to rape me but I gave her one cross the lip and her head flew off and hit Big Foot in the face and he died but my aunt/uncle Samantha was still alive because she is just like that.

Well yes there's good reason for that. First you smell like a bit of old fish that's been left out in the hot sun for three days in a bucket of two week old milk. Second your face looks like a baboon's backside that has just been vommited on by a sick walrus. Third you are completely insane.

Pat Lofthouse engaged in sexual intercourse with that guy we used to like but then stopped because he cut in the ice cream truck line.

Bah!

I hate the music today. All we hear about are people fucking up the anus and the fellas getting some pussy. I don't want hear it. No way jose. I'd rather listen to songs about puppies and pirates sailing a boat. I don't want to hear songs with fuck this and fuck that and bitch do this and bitch do that. Im sick of it. Get it through your ( Read more... )

No money in the bank ( Read more... )

I got hit in the testicles with a soccer ball and threw up. That's about it. Oh yeah and I called Pat Lofthouse she told me to give her some escaflowne or she'd hold on to Broadway instead of selling it to the first player to her right.

My life sucks. I hate it so fucking much.