Justice League fic. (Be afraid.)
Title: A Binding Legal Contract
Fandom: Justice League
Characters: Max Lord/Amanda Waller, Booster/Beetle (suggested...sort of), Batman, J'onn
Word Count: 982
Rating: PG-13?
Author's Notes: ...Okay, so I was re-reading some old JLI and somehow this happened. Wedding crack-fic. Yes really. Any idea where else I could/should post this?
(The Booster and Beetle content is minimal, but it's not a very long fic anyway.)
A Binding Legal Contract
When Amanda Waller and Maxwell Lord announced their engagement, a feeling of shock swept through everyone who was aware of who and what they were.
Reactions ranged from varying levels of horror, disbelief, and downright hysterics from everyone who had ever had the chance to see them interacting.
Discreetly (and from the maximum distance possible), various tests were performed on them in search of an explanation. Surely something was behind this sudden, inexplicable urge to become husband and wife.
To everyone's great surprise, all tests came up negative. Amanda Waller and Maxwell Lord were engaged and soon to be married of their own free will. Unfortunately, they also found out about the tests and were less than appreciative.
"Why does everyone find it so difficult to believe that I want Amanda here to be the next, and hopefully last, Mrs. Lord?" Max asked, affecting a hurt tone.
"I'm not changing my name, you bastard," Amanda put in evenly.
"And I would never make such demands on you, m'dear."
"Blow it out your ear, sweetheart."
Suitably chastised, further attempts to determine an answer were called off in favor of wedding planning. Given that nearly the entire superhero community and members of several governments were invited, that was quite a fair amount of planning.
"I assume you won't be wearing white, Mrs. Waller?"
"Assume that if you ask that again, you'll regret it."
The events leading up to the wedding were about what anyone could have reasonably expected. Everyone invited to the bridal shower was sworn to secrecy, the bachelor party resulted in no less than a dozen arrests, and the world was imperiled twice.
"This is another fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Max."
Leaning against the bars of the communal prison cell, Max smiled with as much charm as his hangover would allow. "You know how I love watching you browbeat anyone and anything that gets in your way, Amanda dearest. Now could you work your magic on the arresting officers, I don't think the intergalactic invasion fleet will put up with much more stalling."
"They call themselves the Imperial High Order of T'owl."
"Hm, really? They all start looking alike after a while."
When finally the blessed day arrived, it was deceptively bright and sunny. A cool breeze blew through the warm afternoon, and by all appearances it was a perfect day for a wedding.
There were at least six murder attempts before, during, and after the ceremony, though only half were on the couple themselves. All attempts were, luckily, stopped with a minimum of fuss and (barring one exception) the wedding went on as if nothing had happened.
As weddings went, this one was certainly strange. Not only because of the number of brightly colored costumes in the audience, but because of Max and Amanda as well. To the disbelief of many watching, Max Lord's face took on a soft, adoring look as he watched his bride-to-be make her way up the aisle and take her place at his side. To further disbelief, and a few suggestions of mass hallucination, Amanda Waller for once didn't look ready and willing to literally bite the head off of anyone who crossed her.
Though when a bullet passed close enough to Max's head to ruffle his hair before embedding itself in the wall...well, no one got in Amanda's way when she dragged the assassin into a nearby room to discuss things he would never be doing again.
"Damned fool trying to kill my husband on my wedding day," Amanda grumbled as she returned to Max's side.
"I love you too, sweetheart."
Amanda glanced at him with a flat, unsmiling look on her face, while her eyes twinkled with something only the two of them were privy to.
Aside from that one exception, the wedding proceeded mostly as planned and after "I do"s were exchanged, the newly married couple sealed their vows with a kiss. Anyone who had been expecting the universe to crack in two at that point was either sorely disappointed or greatly relieved.
Then came the wedding reception with refreshments, dancing, and settling of bets.
"The odds were in my favor!"
"Give it up, Booster," Ted advised, handing over a glass of champagne to his friend and patting him on the shoulder. "C'mon, let's watch Batman dance with the bride."
Lost bet forgotten, Booster followed him, laughing.
Later, after the smoke cleared from the last murder attempt of the day, the reception was running late and the happy couple (quite perturbed at this point) were anxious to be on their way. In an effort to save time, the bouquet and garter were tossed vaguely in the direction of the assembled guests before Max and Amanda hurried out.
To great amusement, the ones to catch the bouquet and garter were Booster and Beetle. Though it would probably be more accurate to say that the bouquet and garter landed on them and they were too startled to pass them off before someone saw. Also, the garter had landed on Beetle's head and he was trying to figure out how to get it off without having to actually touch it.
As the party moved outside to wave the newlyweds off, a few of the Justice League members gravitated together. Booster and Beetle had traded "prizes" and Beetle was examining the bouquet suspiciously while Booster was stretching the garter as if to shoot it away. Suddenly Booster stopped, face going pale as the garter hung limply from his hand. J'onn, who had been keeping an eye on the pair in case they made the unfortunate mistake of attempting something, reluctantly asked him what was wrong.
"I just thought," Booster said slowly. "What if they have kids?"
Silence fell over the smaller group as they watched, with slowly dawning horror, the "Just Married" sign on the back of Max and Amanda's limo disappear into the distance.
-----
Fandom: Justice League
Characters: Max Lord/Amanda Waller, Booster/Beetle (suggested...sort of), Batman, J'onn
Word Count: 982
Rating: PG-13?
Author's Notes: ...Okay, so I was re-reading some old JLI and somehow this happened. Wedding crack-fic. Yes really. Any idea where else I could/should post this?
(The Booster and Beetle content is minimal, but it's not a very long fic anyway.)
A Binding Legal Contract
When Amanda Waller and Maxwell Lord announced their engagement, a feeling of shock swept through everyone who was aware of who and what they were.
Reactions ranged from varying levels of horror, disbelief, and downright hysterics from everyone who had ever had the chance to see them interacting.
Discreetly (and from the maximum distance possible), various tests were performed on them in search of an explanation. Surely something was behind this sudden, inexplicable urge to become husband and wife.
To everyone's great surprise, all tests came up negative. Amanda Waller and Maxwell Lord were engaged and soon to be married of their own free will. Unfortunately, they also found out about the tests and were less than appreciative.
"Why does everyone find it so difficult to believe that I want Amanda here to be the next, and hopefully last, Mrs. Lord?" Max asked, affecting a hurt tone.
"I'm not changing my name, you bastard," Amanda put in evenly.
"And I would never make such demands on you, m'dear."
"Blow it out your ear, sweetheart."
Suitably chastised, further attempts to determine an answer were called off in favor of wedding planning. Given that nearly the entire superhero community and members of several governments were invited, that was quite a fair amount of planning.
"I assume you won't be wearing white, Mrs. Waller?"
"Assume that if you ask that again, you'll regret it."
The events leading up to the wedding were about what anyone could have reasonably expected. Everyone invited to the bridal shower was sworn to secrecy, the bachelor party resulted in no less than a dozen arrests, and the world was imperiled twice.
"This is another fine mess you've gotten yourself into, Max."
Leaning against the bars of the communal prison cell, Max smiled with as much charm as his hangover would allow. "You know how I love watching you browbeat anyone and anything that gets in your way, Amanda dearest. Now could you work your magic on the arresting officers, I don't think the intergalactic invasion fleet will put up with much more stalling."
"They call themselves the Imperial High Order of T'owl."
"Hm, really? They all start looking alike after a while."
When finally the blessed day arrived, it was deceptively bright and sunny. A cool breeze blew through the warm afternoon, and by all appearances it was a perfect day for a wedding.
There were at least six murder attempts before, during, and after the ceremony, though only half were on the couple themselves. All attempts were, luckily, stopped with a minimum of fuss and (barring one exception) the wedding went on as if nothing had happened.
As weddings went, this one was certainly strange. Not only because of the number of brightly colored costumes in the audience, but because of Max and Amanda as well. To the disbelief of many watching, Max Lord's face took on a soft, adoring look as he watched his bride-to-be make her way up the aisle and take her place at his side. To further disbelief, and a few suggestions of mass hallucination, Amanda Waller for once didn't look ready and willing to literally bite the head off of anyone who crossed her.
Though when a bullet passed close enough to Max's head to ruffle his hair before embedding itself in the wall...well, no one got in Amanda's way when she dragged the assassin into a nearby room to discuss things he would never be doing again.
"Damned fool trying to kill my husband on my wedding day," Amanda grumbled as she returned to Max's side.
"I love you too, sweetheart."
Amanda glanced at him with a flat, unsmiling look on her face, while her eyes twinkled with something only the two of them were privy to.
Aside from that one exception, the wedding proceeded mostly as planned and after "I do"s were exchanged, the newly married couple sealed their vows with a kiss. Anyone who had been expecting the universe to crack in two at that point was either sorely disappointed or greatly relieved.
Then came the wedding reception with refreshments, dancing, and settling of bets.
"The odds were in my favor!"
"Give it up, Booster," Ted advised, handing over a glass of champagne to his friend and patting him on the shoulder. "C'mon, let's watch Batman dance with the bride."
Lost bet forgotten, Booster followed him, laughing.
Later, after the smoke cleared from the last murder attempt of the day, the reception was running late and the happy couple (quite perturbed at this point) were anxious to be on their way. In an effort to save time, the bouquet and garter were tossed vaguely in the direction of the assembled guests before Max and Amanda hurried out.
To great amusement, the ones to catch the bouquet and garter were Booster and Beetle. Though it would probably be more accurate to say that the bouquet and garter landed on them and they were too startled to pass them off before someone saw. Also, the garter had landed on Beetle's head and he was trying to figure out how to get it off without having to actually touch it.
As the party moved outside to wave the newlyweds off, a few of the Justice League members gravitated together. Booster and Beetle had traded "prizes" and Beetle was examining the bouquet suspiciously while Booster was stretching the garter as if to shoot it away. Suddenly Booster stopped, face going pale as the garter hung limply from his hand. J'onn, who had been keeping an eye on the pair in case they made the unfortunate mistake of attempting something, reluctantly asked him what was wrong.
"I just thought," Booster said slowly. "What if they have kids?"
Silence fell over the smaller group as they watched, with slowly dawning horror, the "Just Married" sign on the back of Max and Amanda's limo disappear into the distance.
-----