Aiba was a force of chaos, and everyone knew that (crackfic)
I blame thoroughlynerdy for this one. First in a series of two Arashi related crack fics. The second will involve liquid nitrogen. You have been warned.
To say that management, and Arashi, were highly indulgent of some of Aiba’s ideas was perhaps the understatement of the century. The dilatancy tank in Shukudai. The liquid nitrogen experiments. All the A no Arashi, and I wonder what would happen if…. as well as the can we eat this set of experiments. And all sorts of other things. But this was just going to end in disaster. Jun and Nino were convinced of this from the start, which was why as soon as Aiba introduced his newest brilliant idea to his band, Nino and Jun snuck away to make all the counter measures that would be needed as damage control.
Arashi + roller skates + live performance = disaster.
There was nothing else that could happen.
Roller skate tug of war had been bad enough, but ever since Aiba had heard about how awesome debut PV with Kisumai had with roller skates, it was something that he had to try with them.
It was not even like their kouhai were always able to avert disaster completely. So Nino and Jun, they were going to be prepared for the worst. And make sure this project never got off the ground. One just had to go about crushing Aiba’s hopes properly, but it was something that Nino and Jun were very good at by now, out of necessity and survival.
More often than not all they had to do was sit back, let nature (or Sho and his inherent ability to fail when one should not (usually due to lack of athleticism)) run its course and run damage control. Which was why now they were on their way to let the medics know of Aiba’s current idea, that way everyone was properly prepared.
It did not get them out of the entire lets do a dry run and see how this works so we can do it at our next live performance practice session, despite the fact that Jun and Nino tried their best to be anywhere but present. Aiba, however, was certainly equipped with a ‘my band members are avoiding this and I don’t like it, and will make sure that they have just as much fun as us radar’ and had no issues tracking them down in the senpai’s green rooms, and no qualms about dragging them away, giggling and waving a goodbye to the senpai who by now did not more than wave back in response. They knew enough of Arashi by now, and Aiba’s experiments were somewhat legendary, as was Jun’s damage control abilities. Sometimes, Jun was just as enthusiastic as Aiba, except when it comes to physical safety and the wellbeing of his band mates. That was when Jun drew the line.
This was close enough to the line that Jun and Nino were both very unhappy, since both liked their persons the way they came, thank you very much, but Aiba was Aiba, and it was easier just to go with it.
And so, now that all of Arashi was assembled, and on skates that were gotten from who knows where (Jun was trying very hard not to think of who elses feet had been in these skates, and hadn’t they long passed the days of hand me downs?) and were ready to begin.
In order for this to work, they would all have to be able to skate.
Nino and Jun had a wager going, betting not only on how long this would last before it was declared a disaster, but how many people would be injured before they would call this experiment a failure.
“I cannot remember the last time that I skated.” Nino grumbled, and beside him Jun sighed.
“Roller skate tug of war on Shukidai-kun. I’m surprised no one broke their necks doing it either.”
“Right.” Nino’s tone indicated that he remembered, and it was not with fondness. “So why does Aiba-chan think this is a good idea?” Nino inquired and it was Jun’s turn to shrug.
“Why does he think half of the things that he comes up with are a good idea. I think the world is better off not knowing the inner machinations of his mind.” Jun stopped speaking as Aiba stood up, teetering for a moment before righting himself. He slowly pushed himself around the room, waving and laughing, and clearly enjoying himself.
Ohno had been up on his skates, and moving around the room, tentatively trying out a few dance moves, going up on his toes and them back down, and looking far more natural at it than he should.
“Come on Sho-chan. You are too slow!” AIba skated over to the bench and pulled Sho, a very much protesting Sho to his feet. “See, its easy.” Aiba pulled Sho along, and Jun and Nino tried to muffle their laughter as Sho’s terrified expression and hunched over posture.
“I-I-I don’t want do this.”
“You will be fine. I will leave you here while I go check on Nino and Jun.” Aiba smiled warmly at Sho and let go of his hands, spinning around with flailing arms. The problem being he did not drop Sho’s hands before he started to turn, and Sho was thrown off balance, a high pitched shriek ringing out in the room as Sho failed to keep his balance, his legs sliding apart and he fell to the floor in full splits. The problem was, as he fell he tried to grab onto Aiba, but missed, only succeeding in pushing Aiba forward and knocking the miracle boy off balance, who managed to flail and write himself, only to collide with Ohno, who was trying a few more difficult dance moves, sending them to the ground in a tangle of limbs and skates.
“That’s it, this is over. You and Oh-chan can’t get back up without hurting yourselves, and Sho wont walk right for at least a few days, if the pained whimpers he is making is any indication.” Nino paused and Sho whimpered convincingly, “It is best for all of J and I just take our skates off and don’t even try.”
“But the experiment!” Aiba cried out, and Jun sighed.
“Experimental Conclusion?” Jun asked, his voice weary. He looked to where Aiba was still entangled with Riida, trying to free themselves without jamming skates and wheels into sensitive body parts.
“Experimental Conclusion…….Riida is soft and squishy.” Aiba called back with a laugh and Ohno’s chuckle could be heard as well.
Jun just buried his head in his hands, and Nino patted him on the head. At least his DS had come out unscathed in all of this.
“It could be worse, J. No one broke anything.”
"This time." Jun's voice was dark and Nino could tell that he was tired, and more worried about Sho and his continued whimpers of pain. Sho's manager had summoned the medics, who were not surprised that Sakurai had been hurt in all of this. Leaving the managers to attempt to untangle Aiba and Ohno.
All in all another normal day for Arashi.