I'm glad that Grey is feeling better, and I think you might be being too hard on yourself for your lapse. It's very stoic to decide to live in a certain degree of pain rather than to take something which undeniably works but which you've used irresponsibly in the past. A small vacation from pain, in which you didn't harm anyone else and don't seem to have harmed yourself in any permanent fashion? One that, so far, hasn't kicked off a resurgence of the former bad behavior? Maybe look at it as a brief gift of grace instead, not to be chased after, but to be remembered with pleasure.
I know the opiate song too. Staying away from them when I have access and no acute physical need is a constant low-level tension. I don't think you ever overcome a taste for them - the brain receptors are THERE. I think you're doing pretty well, all things considered.
Next time, ask for my mailing address. I have faulty opiate receptors but on the really bad days they help me to not care quite so much that everything is trying to crawl off and die. :P
But no, for real? You weren't that bad. You recognize it was bad, that's the thing. And most importantly, you don't want to seek out more. That's what's important. So I'd say it's not that bad. Just a minor wobble.
Comments 17
But the reptile brain never forgets.
A sublime sentence, Billy.
And you've not been behaved badly at all.
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I know the opiate song too. Staying away from them when I have access and no acute physical need is a constant low-level tension. I don't think you ever overcome a taste for them - the brain receptors are THERE. I think you're doing pretty well, all things considered.
Hang in there.
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But no, for real? You weren't that bad. You recognize it was bad, that's the thing. And most importantly, you don't want to seek out more. That's what's important. So I'd say it's not that bad. Just a minor wobble.
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