Subject - Chapter 36
See previous parts here...
Short Summary: Clark learns more about what Lex has been up to and why the government had stopped chasing him...
Chapter 36
The next time he woke up, Clark was surprised that his parents were absent from his bedside. The sun was again shining, but it was late and getting close to sundown. He looked over at the distant windmill in Chandler's field. It was going to be a gorgeous sunset. He reached over to pick up the adoption certificate where it sat amidst the greeting cards on the night stand.
He looked at it again and gently caressed the delicate filigree of the ancient scroll work on the frame. He held it to his chest and fell into sleep, comforted by the truth on the paper as the sun set and turned the sky into a brilliant symphony of colors.
-------
Clark stirred when he heard a rustle of fabric. His father stood alone, looking out onto the moonlit garden beyond the solarium. The only light in the solarium came from a small lamp on his bedside table and the monitors that still recorded his medical status.
Clark shifted. The pain flared a bit and he made a small, uncomfortable sound. His dad turned and smiled when he saw him looking at him, the frame still in his hand.
"I'm glad you're awake, Clark. You're looking so much better."
"I feel better, not so groggy."
"Well, Dr. Edwards is still giving you those sedatives but they're not as effective as they used to be. A sure sign you're getting better. Can you use any of your powers?"
"The last time I tried, it hurt and wore me out."
His father nodded gravely. "That makes sense, given what he thinks is wrong..."
"Does he know why I'm still not better?"
"He thinks the infection weakened your body and pushed it to its limits. You need time to store up enough of the sun's energy before you fully heal. Just sleep as much as you can in the sun to give yourself a chance to recuperate."
Clark nodded, yawned and looked around. "Where's mom?"
"She was tired so she went back to our room. The doctor gave her something to help her sleep."
Clark looked down at the frame he still held. He turned it so he could better read it in the faint light from the monitors. He frowned. "I'm glad to have this, Dad, but does it really change anything? So many people know my secret now, all those soldiers and scientists. What if someone else wants to find out what makes me tick?" He again hugged it lightly to his chest. "As wonderful as legally being your son is, I don't think it makes me any safer..."
"Ultimately? No, it probably won't...."
"How can I really go home then? I won't be safe there... I won't be safe anywhere."
"You don't really believe that it's over, do you?"
"What if it weren't? I can't take the chance. I couldn't go through that again..."
His father sighed deeply and ran a hand across the stubble on his chin. He sat on the edge of the bed and looked intently into Clark's eyes. "You can't let fear rule your life, Clark. You were meant for more than hiding away from the world. You're someone that can give hope to people. I've seen it happen. You make people's lives better and you save lives. You shouldn't be scared of shadows."
"But how can I live without fear if kidnapping, torture or even death could come to me anytime or anywhere?"
"You live the way everyone else does, Clark."
"What do you mean?"
"You know how fragile human life is. We humans have to live with that fragility everyday. When you least expect it, something could kill you. A blood vessel might burst in your head, or a drunk driver could crash into your car, or lightning could strike you down while you walk down the street. Thousands of things happen every day that, if everything doesn't go exactly right, could kill you but most people make it through the day without living in fear."
Clark was confused. "But this is different. There are people that might hunt me down and take me away."
"Yes, it is; and no, it isn't. You have lived through something horrific that could have killed you, yet you managed to survive. So, you have to be strong and figure out a way to get past the fear that experience has left you with. You can't let it haunt you."
"It could be dangerous for you and mom. Maybe it's best I face it alone..."
Clark had rarely seen his father that angry with him. He growled, "No, it's not, Clark. Nothing is ever made better by shutting the people you love out of your life. We love you and want to be a part of your life, even if it means we get caught in the cross-fire."
"Dad, I would hate if I were even indirectly responsible for you or mom getting hurt."
"Would you rather hide in the dark somewhere and not see us at all? Your mom and I aren't going to live forever, Clark. Would you rather you spend the time we have left on the run?"
"But if you die..."
"Clark, if I die tomorrow with you by my side it'd be better than dying after a hundred years of being apart from you."
Clark didn't know how to answer so his dad continued. "Son, aren't you happier with us, even scared of the shadows, than you ever were in New York or in Wyoming?"
He didn't want his parents to be in danger, but his dad was right. He had been miserable without them, and he didn't want to be without them again. He didn't know how long he would live, but he knew he had to treasure every second he could be with them.
He nodded and looked down at the lovingly stitched, delicate patterns that danced across the surface of the pillow that sat next to him on the bed. The intricately traced, and painstakingly executed, designs reminded him of something. He looked at the frame in his hand and it was only then he recognized where else he'd seen that pattern. He held the pillow up and the patterns stitched in cotton thread and molded into the precious silver, although not exactly the same, complemented the other. Despite not being quite identical, Clark could see how the designs were linked.
The antique silver photo frame that had been passed down in his mother's family, and had once held his picture, had inspired the pattern his mother had lovingly stitched into the bright cotton fabric of the pillow she'd quilted for him. Now that frame held the proof he belonged to his family. Somehow two of his most prized possessions being linked made the connection he felt to his adopted family deeper... That relationship now stretched back the nearly 200 years to when that silver frame was first made and was bought by someone in his mother's family.
Tears welled up in Clark's eyes and he pulled his pillow into his chest. He looked up at his dad who had tears in his eyes.
"You'll be okay, Clark. At times the monsters in the closet are real, but you should be comforted by the fact that, no matter what, your mother and I will always be with you. You never need to be alone..."
Clark reached up and hugged his father.
------
The next couple of days Clark was spending more time awake, but his sleep was still troubled. He couldn't seem to shake the exhaustion.
Despite the apparent return of at least some of his invulnerability, the drugs became less and less effective with each passing day, his conscious powers still hadn't fully come back. Use of any of his abilities that required concentration still brought exhaustion, dizziness and gave him agonizing headaches. He was frustrated that even taking a trip to the bathroom to shower or use the facilities exhausted him.
The weakness annoyed Clark and he still wanted to leave. He didn't trust Lex, especially now that he'd stolen his child away, but he'd promised his parents he'd stay until he got could walk out on his own, so he would keep that promise.
Dr. Edwards was right, the next time the IV came out neither the nurse nor Dr. Edwards could get it back in. It was one more sign that he was closer to getting better.
Since Clark wasn't being given drugs anymore, his mother instead read to him to lull him into the sleep he still so desperately needed.
The reading was better than the drugs anyway. Clark enjoyed the sounds of his mother's voice as she read him his favorite books... It was soothing.
One morning, he woke to find her asleep in the chair next to the bed with a book held loosely in one hand. He was reminded of when he was a kid and she would read to him...
Clark had loved reading so much he had taught himself to read very young because she didn't do it enough. She had a house and a family to take care of, so he learned as he followed along as she read to him. Once he'd learned how, he spent every minute he could reading.
However, he never let on he could read. He had worried she might stop if she'd known so Clark's teaching himself to read was probably the first secret he had ever kept from his parents. His parents were surprised when his pre-school teacher, Mrs. Ledbetter, praised Clark's advanced reading skill the very first day...
However, the thought was bittersweet. Clark teaching himself to read so early brought his first lecture from his parents about not standing out. They warned him to hide his unusually advanced reading skill and it had confused him and scared him.
He had been proud of the fact he could read like a big boy but his parents worried for him, so they turned it into a shame.
It had been only the first talent he had hidden among so many others. As he got older and watched the other kids struggle with things he found easy, it had been frustrating to keep his abilities secret and act like them. It helped isolate him.
Clark sighed as looked at his mother where she'd fallen asleep in the chair next to his bed. His mother stirred at the sound and sat up. Her body was stiff and she rubbed her neck, in obvious discomfort.
"You don't have to stay up all night with me anymore, Mom. You should go get some sleep..."
"Oh, I want to stay with you, sweetheart. I could read to you some more to help you go back to sleep..."
Clark looked outside to the brightening light from the early morning sunshine. "No, Mom... that's okay. You should go upstairs and get some sleep."
She caressed the book thoughtfully and looked warmly at him, as if she was remembering something. "Do you remember when you taught yourself to read?"
Clark smiled, "Yeah, I was just thinking about that."
"You were so sneaky about it. I would catch you reading sometimes and then you always said you were just pretending."
"You knew I wasn't?"
"Yeah, we knew but we thought you were keeping it secret for a reason and didn't let on that we knew. When Mrs. Ledbetter told us you could read, we were surprised you showed her but not us."
"It hadn't occurred to me that she would mention it to you. I didn't want you to know because I thought that you'd stop reading to me."
She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "I love reading to you. I even think I read to you long after other kids would have wanted it to stop." She looked at him and her warm look turned concerned. "You look tired. Are you sure you don't want me to read to you? I do actually enjoy doing it...."
Clark looked toward a pair of lounge chairs next to a table outside on a small patio close to the solarium. He yawned, still so tired, but he really wanted to go outside. "No, I'd like to go out and sit in the sun... I haven't been outside since I've been here. The sun will feel good on my skin. I could take a nap out there."
"I should walk with you and make sure you're okay..."
Clark tried to look reassuring. "I'll be fine. It's not much further than the bathroom is, and I walk there without help now."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
------
Clark shouldn't have been so confident.
His mother had kissed him on the cheek and left after she'd promised to send his father to check on him later. She had been gone only a few moments when Clark gingerly got out of bed. He grabbed a heavy flannel bathrobe and stepped into some slippers before he walked slowly out to the door. The door opened to fresh air, sunshine and a light breeze.
It was a glorious spring day and the flowers were in full bloom and the bees were buzzing and the birds were singing.
However, by the time Clark made it the lounge chair he was too exhausted to enjoy the scenery.
He sat down heavily, his chest heaving with the exertion. He looked back over his shoulder at the door back into the solarium. It looked further away than he would have thought.
He sighed, leaned back and stretched his legs out. In a way, it was good. He'd been in bed too long. He was still so weak, but getting more sun should help. He was outside for the first time in a very long time and he needed to get some exercise and feel the sun on his skin.
He closed his eyes as he enjoyed the feel of a gentle breeze as it ruffled his hair and the heat of the sun on his skin. It felt so good. He began to doze but was roused by the sound of approaching footsteps.
He looked up to find Lex walking down the path toward him. He started to get up but Lex held a hand up.
"Don't get up.... This won't take long."
Clark stayed seated and was glad to. He wasn't sure how smooth an exit he could have made with how exhausted he was. He glared at Lex.
"I don't want to talk to you."
"I think you need to hear what I have to say." Lex sat down on the other recliner and placed a dark purple folder on the small table between them.
"Dr. Edwards had forbidden you to speak to me until I got better. Except for that one night, you've obeyed him. Why come see me now?"
"No, what Dr. Edwards did was forbid me from entering your room. He didn't say anything about me talking to you outside of it."
Clark shook his head and scowled. "You found a loophole..."
"Yes, I did and I always take advantage of those when I need to."
"Okay, you got me. What is it you wanted to talk about? What's in that folder?"
"I wanted to talk about several things," Lex put a hand gently on the folder. "One of which does concern the contents of this folder, but first I want to talk about Lana and the baby."
"I should probably talk to Lana about it..."
"I felt it would be better coming from me, and Lana agreed. She'll talk to you about more later, if you want..."
"What about Lana and the baby? You come to gloat?"
Lex sighed. "I'm not gloating, Clark, but you seem to have some issues with the situation and I'd like to understand why."
Clark laughed. "Issues? Is that what you think I have? You steal my life and my pregnant girlfriend away and think I have issues..."
"Ex-girlfriend...."
"Okay, it didn't work out with Lana and me but does that give you the right to marry the mother of my child before I find out she's even pregnant?"
"At the time, you were on the run from some very bad people. It wasn't like she could just call and talk to you about it, Clark."
"Why couldn't my parents have told me? I deserved to know."
"What could have you done if they had told you?"
"I don't know... maybe I could have come home and protected her."
"At the time she found out, you couldn't protect yourself. How the hell could you have protected her?"
"I don't know, but I would have liked to have found out before you married her and took the option from me."
Lex looked at Clark as if a light went off in his head. "Are you upset about me marrying her because you would have wanted to? Do you really think you needed to marry her because she's carrying your baby?"
Clark was annoyed at Lex's reaction. He scowled at the other man. "It would have been the right thing to do..."
Lex snorted. "This isn't the nineteen fifties, Clark. You don't have to make an honest woman of her."
"I still love her and I want to be a father to our baby."
"You don't think you can be that while she's married to me?"
"No, how can I be? The baby will be raised a Luthor, with you as her father... Where could I possibly fit into my daughter's life if she isn't raised as my daughter?"
Lex was speechless for a moment and then laughed a bitter laugh. He shook his head and gazed at Clark in amazement. "For a smart man, you can be so fucking stupid sometimes, Clark."
He was defensive. "What do you mean?"
"You seriously think that the woman who still loved you so much she willingly risked her life to save yours would then raise your child as mine?"
"Isn't that what she's doing?"
"No, Clark. It's not." Lex sighed and looked at Clark with steely blue-gray eyes. "While you were making Lana into an emotional wreck railing at her about marrying me while pregnant with your child, did you stop long enough to ask what Lana has been planning on naming your daughter?"
Clark blinked and quietly replied. "No..."
"No, you didn't because if you had you'd know Lana isn't heartless. Your baby's name is going to be Lara."
He was shocked into silence. He thought furiously for a few seconds before his mouth worked again. "Lara? That's my mother's name..."
"Yes, I know. After she told you, Lana told your parents about them being grandparents and she asked your mom if she knew your birth mother's name... So your daughter, my step-daughter, will be named Lara Louise Kent."
"Lara? Your step-daughter? My daughter?" Clark thought for a second. "Will my name will be on the birth certificate?"
"Yes."
"Why'd you agree to that?"
"Lana wanted two things if I married her. I had to make sure you were safe and let you be the baby's father, but I didn't mind either of those in any case. I was already working on getting the program shut down, among other things. Her demands maybe sped up the process but it was already in motion. As for the birth certificate, I was surprised she made that a stipulation. Truth is something I've learned to embrace lately, so as much as I would love to have kids with Lana, this baby is yours. I won't lie about it... Actually it looks worse for her, getting pregnant with your baby and then marrying me. She's a strong woman to do something like that simply because it's the right thing to do" A warm look came over Lex's face as he talked about Lana. "She's such a good mother already. It was her idea to put in a solarium and she helped design it. Lana wanted somewhere the baby could play in the sun the entire year. It was finished only a couple of weeks before you got injured."
Lex looked up at the house in the general direction where Clark knew their bedroom was with a warm, loving look. As Clark watched him talk, he could see that Lex really did love Lana. "She takes such good care of herself and is already reading to the baby... You know, babies can hear their mother's voices in the womb and bond with them as they talk. They recognize the voices of their fathers and other family members too, so she'll want you to talk to the baby once you're feeling better. Your mom spent time reading to the baby yesterday while you were sleeping. Lana had such a happy look on her face as your mom read to her..." Lex smiled warmly at Clark. "Your mom is really good at reading books aloud."
Clark couldn't help but return the smile. "Yeah, she really is."
"Lana's going to be such a good mother." Lex sobered. "It'll more than make up for the fact that I'll be in the house, I'm sure, Clark."
Clark sighed and just looked at Lex. "I'm not sure what to say. I'm happy I'll officially be her father but the press is going to have a field day when the baby is born... One look at her dark hair and they'll know she's not a Luthor and then they'll investigate. Birth certificates are public records... They'll find out and there'll be a scandal."
"I don't care what other people think about me. She is your daughter, Clark. I won't lie about it to make myself look better in the publics' eyes." Lex thought for a minute and continued with a confused look on his face. "How do you know she has dark hair?"
"I saw her... It really hurt to do it, but she's beautiful, Lex." Clark's eyes welled up. He looked at Lex and added quietly. "She's so beautiful..."
Lex smiled a wistful look in his eye. "With you and Lana as her parents, she couldn't be anything else." Lex looked at Clark levelly for a few moments and then down to the folder that lay between them on the bench. "There's something else that I wanted to talk to you about."
Clark frowned and started to pick up the folder. "Is it about this?"
Lex placed a hand over Clark's. "Don't open that until you hear what I've had to say." Lex looked up at Clark and was surprised. Lex's eyes were almost sad. "Clark, you've said some things that make me and your parents think you don't believe it's really over."
Clark pulled his hand out from under Lex's and looked away, his mood dark. "Maybe it will never be."
"After everything everyone's said about it being over, you still don't believe it?"
"How can I? He said he'd never let me go and that he'd come back for me."
"Dennis Strickland is dead, Clark. He was buried on Long Island. You saw the newspaper report about his murder back in Wyoming."
"It was left there by someone I never saw... That paper could have been a trick. The story was probably planted to lull me into a false sense of security."
"It was the New York Times, Clark. No one plants stories in one of the most respected newspapers in the world."
"He'd tricked me before, made me do things I didn't want to do... Maybe it was a clever fake." Clark realized something and looked at Lex with narrowed eyes. "How do you know it had been the New York Times? I don't think I ever mentioned which paper it was."
Lex frowned and sighed. "I know because it was my copy of the paper."
Clark was confused and angry. "Sharon described the man who left that paper, it wasn't you..."
Lex scowled at Clark. "I had Dr. Edwards leave it there. I thought it was important you get that paper and get it from someone you trusted."
"I don't trust him, but why didn't he stay and talk to me about it?"
Lex sighed. "He couldn't stay. He had a medical emergency with one of his patients. He had to get back to Metropolis."
"Why was it so important for you to leave that for me?"
Lex continued quietly, "Celia told me that one of the lingering symptoms of Stockholm Syndrome is a fear of the abuser coming back to continue the abuse... After he was killed, I wanted you to know he was dead, Clark. I wanted you to know that the program was shut down and it was finally over."
"They'd almost got me only a month before back in New York... They'd spent so much time and money trying to get me back. Why would they stop? It doesn't make sense..."
Lex looked grimly at Clark. "They stopped because I made them stop. One reason they kept pursuing you was because they had spent so much money on the program, they couldn't walk away from their investment. So, to shut it down once and for all I had to absorb the cost of the program. Once the taxpayers were off the hook, they didn't have a reason to keep it up especially after it became clear their primary goal of you fathering an army wasn't going to work."
"It didn't work?"
"No. You went through all that for nothing. They were idiots really. They shouldn't have used the kryptonite."
"Why not?"
"Think about it. It suppresses your body's systems. It weakens you in a lot of ways, not just your strength and other abilities... It's probably not a coincidence that the only two women to get pregnant were the only two that you made love to free of kryptonite."
"Are you sure no one else got pregnant? Are those other girls okay?"
"Yes, I'm sure... No one else did and all of the other girls are just fine."
Clark breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad more people's lives aren't in danger."
Lex scowled at Clark. "Celia problems aren't because of you, Clark. Some women just don't tolerate the physical strains of pregnancy as well as others."
Clark thought for a minute. "Is that why they let me go? The program had failed?"
"Basically, yes. Once I paid them off, they abandoned their back-up plan as being far too costly with a less than an optimum chance of success."
"What was their back-up plan?"
"If they had captured you in New York, I would have killed you myself if that is what it would have taken to keep you from them." Lex swallowed and continued more quietly. "What they had done to you before was nothing to what they were going to try next.... Nothing."
Clark paled further as his heart clenched in his chest. "Do I want to know what they were going to do?"
"No, you don't."
He thought back. "They didn't think so either..."
Lex was perplexed. "What do you mean?"
"Well, in the weeks before I escaped, Colonel Preskin would have whole meetings where the only sounds were pens writing and pages getting shuffled. They didn't want me to know about something they were planning. It had worried me greatly."
"It was probably that, so I'm glad you got out of there before they had a chance to put it into effect."
Clark shuddered and looked at the folder. He took a deep breath and looked up at Lex. "So, what's in the folder?"
"Proof of Dennis Strickland's death. I know you still don't believe it."
Clark looked down at the folder but didn't touch it. He said softly with a distant tone as he remembered... "He said he would never let me go."
"He didn't have a choice in the matter."
"What's in the folder?"
"Pictures that prove he's dead."
Clark frowned, "The coroner's pictures?"
Lex looked grimly at Clark and replied quietly. "No, not the coroner's pictures, but they are of his body." He paused a moment before he continued. "They are also some of him just before he'd died."
Clark looked at Lex in shock, scared of the implications, but was afraid to voice his fear. He asked softly, "Who took the pictures?"
Lex stated it as a cold fact, his voice flat and emotionless, yet he looked at Clark with a burning intensity. "One of my men took them."
Clark's throat went tight and his voice went even quieter. He had to ask, "You killed him?"
"Yes, I did."
"Why?"
"Because I couldn't turn back time and make him undo what he did to you; because I should have been a better friend and kept you free of them to begin with; but mostly it was because I didn't want him to hurt you ever again. This way, he won't. I hope his death makes you feel safer, but I know the world is a better place without him in it."
In shock, Clark spoke without really thinking, in a completely knee-jerk response. "Killing isn't right." As soon as he said it, he realized how hollow and insincere his voice had sounded.
"I think this time it was the right thing to do, Clark. I'm glad I killed him. I watched him die and it gave me a great sense of satisfaction as I heard his last breath rattle in his chest..."
Clark was horrified but didn't know what to say to that.
Lex continued, his voice calm yet firm. "You know what he did when he first saw me? He laughed because he had somehow realized that I was the one you were thinking of when he forced you to give him oral sex. Was that true?"
Clark blushed furiously and looked away. That was all the answer Lex needed.
"He laughed because he said that you would never make love to me like you had to him. Very excited by the idea, he added that he was looking forward to doing it with you again."
Clark blanched and Lex's voice turned grim. "He was a sick man, Clark. I know what he did to you. That wasn't love, but he had been convinced it was. I was glad that in the days it took him to die, that I taught him how wrong he really was about that. He was sorry in the end about what he'd done but only because he finally realized I wasn't going to let him live. He tried all sorts of lies and manipulations to try and get me to let him go, but I wouldn't because he had been telling the truth when he said that he would gladly do what he did to you again. In fact, he had been planning on it."
Clark looked at Lex, tormented by the thought. He asked in a horrified whisper, "How do you know that?"
"When my men took him from his bed, they searched his house. They'd found a stockpile of kryptonite. He also had shackles and a cage made of the kryptonian alloy in his basement. He'd even fashioned a knife and implements of torture from a block of refined meteor rock. I used those implements to torture him before I killed him with the knife."
Clark wasn't sure what to say. He was torn on how to feel. Part of him was upset that Lex killed someone but he was relieved that he had stopped him, especially since the Man had clearly planned on taking Clark again. He looked at Lex in misery and felt some gratitude. He came close to thanking him, but Clark remembered what else Lex had done and he wasn't sure giving him his thanks was the right thing to do.
Lex spent a lot of money and risked going to prison for murder trying to make right what he'd done wrong, but was it enough? Was any of it enough?
Clark's eyes stung with unshed tears, but he didn't want to cry in front of Lex. He blinked them away and rubbed his eyes with the back of a hand.
He knew that killing the Man hadn't been the right thing to do, but he had to be honest with himself. He was happy Lex had.
He was glad because he wasn't sure he could have murdered the Man, even though there were so many reasons he had deserved to die.
He looked at the folder and moved a hand down to open it so he could see the proof for himself, but Lex's hand stilled his.
"Don't open it. Not yet. Give yourself some time to process the information before you look at them. You should do it in private, or maybe have your parents with you." Lex picked up the folder. "I'll put this with your other things." He looked over toward the house. "Your father's coming so I think it's time I left, but I would like to talk to you again about something else before you leave. I don't expect to be forgiven, Clark, but we've got to be okay with each other for Lara's sake if for no other reason. You agree?"
Clark surprised himself, but he nodded.
Lex smiled and stood. "Good, get some sleep and I'll talk to you later."
He left, and Clark didn't need to see his father to know he was upset at Lex. He heard his father growl as the two men brushed past one another.
His father came around to where Clark could see him. His face was tight with anger and he crushed Clark's pillow in his fist. "What did that man want?"
Exhausted, his voice was soft and hushed. "He just wanted to talk."
He looked at Clark with concern. "Are you okay, son?"
"I'm okay, Dad... Just tired. We talked about Lara." Clark yawned as his father gave him the pillow. He slipped it under his head as his eyes closed. "My daughter..." He drifted off to sleep as his dad sat in the lounge chair next to his and watched over him.
Continued here...