Snoflake Step Five Take Four (Yay)

[dldzioba]

Comments

[reliantfc3]

Tree people! (When I woke up, I was in some weird building and there were tree people staring at me. ) sorry but that made me giggle.

I liked a good five years older then I was-Looked?

but otherwise, great, i could really hear her voice

[ceruleanflow]

it's good, but it kinda dies down in the middle. What made Sophie run away from Evan? What was she feeling, what scared her? I want to hear more of what's going through her head, not what she's doing.

[rallymama]

Ditto above. It the WHY that drives a story forward, usually far moreso that the WHAT.