my wife...
Saffy: Am I losing my hair?
Me: No, you're not losing your hair.
Saffy: I think I'm losing my hair. Am I losing my hair?
Me: No.
Saffy:
Me: What?
Saffy: I don't like your casual calm. If I were like Lex Luthor, you'd still deny that I was losing my hair.
Me: If you were like Lex Luthor, I'd have to seriously reconsider this marriage.
Saffy: What?!
Me: Well, what with the penis and all.
Saffy: ?!1 If I had a penis, you'd love me even more!
Me: ... I do not like the direction in which this conversation has turned.
1 evidently angered that in some reality, I would not want to be with her
Me: No, you're not losing your hair.
Saffy: I think I'm losing my hair. Am I losing my hair?
Me: No.
Saffy:
Me: What?
Saffy: I don't like your casual calm. If I were like Lex Luthor, you'd still deny that I was losing my hair.
Me: If you were like Lex Luthor, I'd have to seriously reconsider this marriage.
Saffy: What?!
Me: Well, what with the penis and all.
Saffy: ?!1 If I had a penis, you'd love me even more!
Me: ... I do not like the direction in which this conversation has turned.
1 evidently angered that in some reality, I would not want to be with her