Having had several coworkers in abusive relationships, and for that matter having grown up with my parents in one...some people seem just to need to confirm their own control by abusing their partner. It's sad in a way, and it's lousy to live in. And the only knowledge I have of them getting better is in my father's case, he was only emotionally abusive by the time I came along.
Some of the stories from when he was younger....*shudder*
The really sad part is all the people who feel it's their fault, and continue in those relationships. At least you DID have the strength to walk (run?!) away.
I understand that he wants to think of himself as the kind of guy who everyone likes but that isn't the case. and he can keep trying to bully me into being friendly with him, but the fact is, it just ain't going to happen.
I'm glad to hear that someone else is as stubborn on this type of thing as I am. While my situation was not in any way shape or form as bad as yours, I similarly refuse to let myself be bullied into being someone's friend (or at least appearing to be) just because they want to feel good about themselves. What annoys me more is that I have to spend energy on it though.
thanks!@ I do feel god about sticking to/up for my boundaries. he's not going to respect them so I have to do double duty. but I think next time it might be time to step it up and outright say: never talk to me again!
Glad to hear you had fun at Decom despite running into "Stupid". Sticking to your boundaries over and over is working, despite his efforts to push on them. Its not easy to hold fast to them at times. (((hugs)))
I was there for a bit in the evening, did a performance set and then wandered around with the kids. Fun to experience things through their eyes.
thanks for the hugs. glad to hear you got to dance and the kids enjoyed the event. other than the loud sound systems it seems like a perfect event for kids since there is so much to see and do.
>so, he flipped out on me, and angrily stormed off while yelling about how I was "a small person".
Ah. Right. See, that's where you went wrong -- everyone knows the bigger person is the one who pitches a tantrum in public when their cack-handed effort at diplomacy flops. I mean, DUH, M.
That said ... you've done the diplomatic thing; maybe it's time for a serious throw-down. A well-placed "I HATE YOU FOREVER SO NEVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN" might do the trick, no?
yeah, like my dad used to say, "when dealing with a mule, you must first get the mule's attention." gonna try that next time!
and HELLS YES to knitting, hanging out, etc! I've been thinking about doing a Small Craft Advisory over here some time... also a clothing exchange (not at the same time though, lol.)
Well, I have to agree that I tend to keep my distance from those who dont like me or that I had huge problems with. Drama = bad. Still, if they come up to me and talk, Ill be civil and engage. Overall, it sounds less like that was related to Burning Man, SF Decom or the burning man "scene"(if you can even call it as such).
oh yeah, it had nothing to do with burning man other than (1) being at decom and (2) running into unpleasant drunks can be part of the playa experience. SO over it!
and I did attempt to be civil and engage a little, and he just pushed it too far. again. oh, well!
Yeah. I have had similar things happen to people within the furry scene. All you can do is practice civility, and you will do it with flourish if that person truly isnt something that drives your life (ie...you are so over them). When they act out (because they clearly are not over you), its not you who is looking like the jackass and spreading negativity. You are having fun. So its a win-win. :)
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Some of the stories from when he was younger....*shudder*
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I'm glad to hear that someone else is as stubborn on this type of thing as I am. While my situation was not in any way shape or form as bad as yours, I similarly refuse to let myself be bullied into being someone's friend (or at least appearing to be) just because they want to feel good about themselves. What annoys me more is that I have to spend energy on it though.
Good on ya!
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I was there for a bit in the evening, did a performance set and then wandered around with the kids. Fun to experience things through their eyes.
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thanks for the hugs. glad to hear you got to dance and the kids enjoyed the event. other than the loud sound systems it seems like a perfect event for kids since there is so much to see and do.
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Ah. Right. See, that's where you went wrong -- everyone knows the bigger person is the one who pitches a tantrum in public when their cack-handed effort at diplomacy flops. I mean, DUH, M.
That said ... you've done the diplomatic thing; maybe it's time for a serious throw-down. A well-placed "I HATE YOU FOREVER SO NEVER COME NEAR ME AGAIN" might do the trick, no?
(PS knitting!!!! Hanging out!!!!!)
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yeah, like my dad used to say, "when dealing with a mule, you must first get the mule's attention." gonna try that next time!
and HELLS YES to knitting, hanging out, etc! I've been thinking about doing a Small Craft Advisory over here some time... also a clothing exchange (not at the same time though, lol.)
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and I did attempt to be civil and engage a little, and he just pushed it too far. again. oh, well!
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