A question for you

[dj_stitch]

For this week's edition of my column, Scarlet Letters, I'm soliciting answers to a question I blatantly swiped from Kim:

What do you most wish someone had told you about sex before you started having it?As usual, I need to flesh out the stuff I'm getting from the student-body-at-large by appealing to my brilliant friends. Can you answer this one

Comments

[suxdonut]

hear, hear.

[red_the_squeaky]

"Practice, practice, practice." iow "The better you get at accessing your own sexual energy the better chance your partner has of getting you there."
and
"Masturbation is your friend, and lube is masturbation's friend"
and
"Sex drive is a very individual thing. Try not to rate yourself on a scale with others."

[evillinn]

I wish I had been told how complicated sex and sexuality can be once it starts involving emotions, self-worth, expectation, fear, and baggage given to us by society, parents and adolescence. I really had no idea, and continue to be surprised by how complicated it can be, even for those that seem to think they aren't complicated about it.

Physiologically speaking, I wish someone had told me that women *are* orgasmic and had given me more information about masturbation. And I wish someone had said, "No, you are too. Keep trying, you'll find it."

[evillinn]

Something else I wish I had been told -
Men and boys don't want it all the time, at any cost, in any way.

Having been rejected by guys after being told "all men want it all the time" caused me tremendous self-doubt.

[slutdiary]

I wish someone had told me that the lessons learned after 20 to 30 years of having sex are more important than the vigor and stamina you have during those first 20+ years.

[glaucon]

that lots of people want it a lot of the time and that, thus, it isn't really difficult or even necessary to talk someone into it.