Happy Birthday TheYmp
THE BIRDS AND THE BEES
A little Team Free Will 2.0 fun for my good friend theymp's birthday.
Rating: K+
Genre: Humour
Characters: Castiel, Dean, Sam, Jack
Word Count: 462
Spoilers/Warnings; None
It's time for a difficult conversation in the bunker. But who's going to step up to the plate …?
Disclaimer: I don't own them
Castiel walked into the bunker's main hall and silently sat down at the great table opposite Dean.
"Hey Cas," Dean grunted without looking up from his laptop.
"Hello Dean," replied Castiel.
A brief silence ensued until Dean glanced up from his online Poker game.
"Something you want, Cas?"
"Yes," Cas replied hesitantly. "I need guidance."
Dean closed his laptop; he had been about to fold anyway. "Okay, shoot," he exclaimed, gesturing toward Castiel.
Castiel stared quizzcally at Dean. "I do not have a firearm.."
Dean sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What d'you want Cas?"
"It is Jack," Castiel replied, staring at Dean with those doleful eyes.
"What's wrong with him?" Dean asked, concern sharpening his words.
"Nothing is wrong with him," Castiel replied; "Jack is very well. But there is a girl in town and I believe he is enamoured of her."
Dean quirked an eyebrow. "Well, that's good ain't it?" he grinned.
"As Jack's father figure, I believe it is my duty to instruct him in matters of love both spiritual and physical."
"I guess…" Dean nodded.
"But…" Castiel began, then hesitated.
"But what?"
Castiel sighed. "I have very little experience in those sorts of matters."
"Well, you saw the pizza man," Dean suggested; "just run with that."
Castiel shook his head. "I cannot base Jack's future romantic and sexual experiences on one bad porn movie. There are matters of health, respect, consent, etiquette, and social responsibility to take into account."
Dean grimaced. "You make it sound so much more complicated than it is."
"Dean, will you talk to him?" Castiel pleaded.
"But, Cas…"
"Please…"
"I think he'll take it better from you Cas."
"Please Dean…"
"Cas…"
"Pleeeeeeeease!"
Dean kneaded his brow as he let out a long sigh.
"So you want me to make sure Jack gets the proper talk about love and sex. To make sure he understands the mechanics of how it all works and concepts like respect and consent in all levels of romantic and sexual situations. That he knows all about the risks and how to protect himself, and all the social responsibilities around birth control and unwanted pregnancies?"
"Yes please," Castiel replied with a hint of desperation.
"Oh damnit Cas, okay," Dean replied wearily. Standing up from the table he walked to the end of the hall, peering through the door.
"HEY SAM," he yelled down the corridor; "where are you? Got a job for you!"
xxxxx
end