Harry Potter - Harry/Draco [post-hbp] - Building Nothing, Laying Bricks
001: "Bandages" - Hot Hot Heat ( lyrics )
These bandages cover more than scrapes, cuts and bruises from regrets and mistakes / I've been hoping you're moping around the street again / I've been tripping from sipping the dripping dirty water tap / I've been poking a voodoo doll that you do not know I made / these bandages are anonymity / I've been shaking from making an awful decision
&. Draco wants everybody (or, rather, potter and his filthy little cronies) to hurt just like he's hurting right now - so fucking badly. One mistake and everything is gone. If only there was something that could cover up mistakes and regrets. If he could do it all over, he would do it right. He would win every single time and would be the best. He would not be a failure. If only.
002: "In the Backseat" - The Arcade Fire ( lyrics )
My family tree's losing all it's leaves / crashing towards the driver's seat / the lightning bolt made enough heat / to melt the street beneath your feet
&. The people that Draco can truly trust with everything that he has - Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy - decreases down to zero as a result of cold-blooded murder. He believes that he has nobody to rely on now, and must learn to survive through the war and life on his own without the help of anybody. Admittedly, he knows that Potter is most likely getting stronger and stronger as the minutes go by while he sits here bartending [ i mean what? ] alone in the dark with nobody - nothing. Potter wins again.
003: "Between the Bars" - Elliott Smith ( lyrics )
People you've been before that you don't want around anymore / that push and shove and won't bend to your will / I'll keep them still / drink up, baby, look at the stars, I'll kiss you again / between the bars where I'm seeing you / there with your hands in the air / waiting to finally be caught
&. The likelihood of Malfoy being the epitome of a purely loyal Death Eater has been thrown out the window! - along with the bodies of his dead mother and father. He is still caught in with his confusion and indecisions, however, and does not know where or who he could possibility go to. He knows that he is wanted by both sides, and the prospect of him getting out of it all unharmed is slim to none. But Harry finds him in this state of vulnerability, and the little bit of pity that he held for him rises up once more as he offers him protection (for what exact reason, he is not sure).
004: "Child Killers" - The Delgados ( lyrics )
How can I find what's right? / The truth is our lives were shite / what's the point to you? / Come down, down, down / we have the only gack in town / understand that it's here that I'm coming from / if I'm wrong or I'm right / maybe soon we'll find peace in another one
&. It's not like Draco would want protection from somebody that he hates - or, well, dislikes immensely enough to push off of a really high cliff if he could, which he probably can't. So why should Potter even care? His life was nothing but shit to him for six years, and vice versa (but he feels a bit too dejected by now to say something so insignificant with malice). It is all a bit suspicious, really.
Maybe he just wants to see if Malfoy really is human underneath it all. He is the only one who would be willing to give him a chance, afterall.
005: "International Rock Star" - Stars ( lyrics )
"How long are you going to keep me here?" / "I don't know. It depends." / "On what? On my falling in love with you? If that's what you think, I'll be here 'til I die. Now go away. Go away!"
&. He knows the only reason why Potter hasn't turned him in by now is because he has high hopes that Draco will "see the error of his ways and join the 'right' side". And it's not going to happen in this lifetime. He'll never surrender to Potter and his stupid Gryffindor ways. Besides, even Potter should know that it's not like one day he'll suddenly wake up and have the urge to save random muggles and confess undying love to everything Harry Potter.
006: "A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More 'Touch Me'" - Fall Out Boy ( lyrics )
She said, she said, she said, "Why don't you just drop dead?" / I don't blame you for being you / but you can't blame me for hating it
[…]
Write me off, give up on me / 'cause darling, what did you expect? / I'm just off a lost cause / a long shot, don't even take this bet
&. It's practically impossible to get somebody like Draco to cooperate with Potter, of all people, anyways. It's nothing to be surprised of.
007: "The Engine Driver" - The Decemberists ( lyrics )
I'm a county lineman / on a high line, on a high line / so will be my grandson / there are powerlines in our bloodlines
[…]
I have fortunes upon fortunes / take my hand for tender / I am tortured, ever tortured / and if you don't love me let me go
&. They are stuck in one place as expectations fill them with worry for what is to come (bad faith and prophecies galore!). And the savior of the wizarding world being tied with a pureblood 'villain' of the wizarding world is not one of them, as they both know. Their future descendants probably will hate each other just as much as they do [did?], if not moreso. But if they cannot accept each other for who they are, then why bother? Maybe they should part ways and never look back. It is what is expected of them, afterall.
008: "Open Up Your Eyes" - Jeremy Camp ( lyrics )
Give away the fight / release your foolish pride
[…]
Can you sense the feeling that there's more than what you know? / It's a fire that burns within that only seems to grow / there's a price that's given and which only love can pay / and the time is here and now, don't let it fade away
&. But, no, Harry can't seem to bring himself to leave Malfoy all alone. Whenever he looks at him, all he can hear and see is the choked sobs in the bathroom and the wavering wand on the tower. There's something that keeps telling him that there really is more to Malfoy than a snobbish pureblood attitude and it won't go away. He owes it to Dumbledore to try and give him a chance, anyways. He won't disappoint Dumbledore by letting this chance pass.
009: "Day Old Hate" - City and Colour ( lyrics )
So lets face it, this was never what you wanted / but I know that it's fun to pretend / our blank stares and empty threats / are all I have / they're all I have
[…]
The things we do just to stay alive / the things we do just to keep ourselves alive
&. Draco never wanted his life to be like this. Hell, he never even wanted to hate Potter! But now all he has is his pretend hatred for him, and he's not going to let that go any time soon. If he can't have that, then he really doesn't know what will keep him sane.
010: "Last Post on the Bugle" - The Libertines ( lyrics )
Slyly they whispered away / as I played the last post on the bugle / I heard them say / oh, that boy's no different today / except in every single way
&. From an outsider's point of view, they might look as if they're the same people that they were a couple of years ago and thus believe that nothing other than pure hatred and death will come out of any sort of alliance between the two; however, on the inside, that is beginning the change as an unspoken appreciation and understanding slowly - or quickly, one cannot really tell - forms between the two.
011: "This Ride" - The Starting Line ( lyrics )
What do you see when you look at me? / Do you take me for a fool? / So what makes you play this game / with results always the same / and nothing but bad reputations to gain?
&. But, what the hell, Draco is getting tired of this. Is Potter really only keeping him here now to bring him to the 'good' side? That excuse is getting a bit tedious. He's not an idiot; he knows that that isn't the case. The only thing that an alliance between the two could bring forth is a bad reputation. No possible way could anybody think that Draco hasn't put Harry under some sort of curse to make him do such things.
012: "I Don't Know What I Can Save You From" - Kings of Convenience ( lyrics )
I had never really known you / but I realized that the one you were before / had changed into somebody for whom / I wouldn't mind to put the kettle on / still I don't know what I can save you from
&. Harry knows that Draco has matured…somewhat, at least…and is no longer the person that he was during Hogwarts. Actually, when the war is over and done with, he wouldn't mind it if Draco decided to keep in contact with him. Stay with him for a while until he got back onto his feet or something like that. Maybe longer if he wanted. He wants to save Draco, but he honestly doesn't know from what and at what emotional or otherwise cost to himself at this point.
013: "Don't Ask Me" - OK Go ( lyrics )
Don't sit there and play just / so frank, so straight, so candid, so thoughtful, so gracious, so sound, so even-handed / don't be so damn benign / and don't waste my fucking time!
&. Has Potter forgotten that they were supposed to hate each other? He hasn't. He doesn't even want him to pretend that everything is going to turn out with a happily ever after ending, because he knows that it won't. Potter is just wasting his time with all of these sugarcoated possible outcomes of the war. It's annoying, really.
014: "Aftertaste" - Ben Lee ( lyrics )
Destiny was never up to me / and it's not my fault, / your love's like salt / the aftertaste is gonna break my heart / feels like it's over before it starts / the aftertaste is gonna break my heart / and I really didn't need this / don't wanna be this / don't wanna see this
&. Harry never wanted this. Does Malfoy think that he honestly wants to be the boy who kills Voldemort? He's had enough of all that heroic crap and just wants to live a normal life. But he has no choice in the matter. It's not his fault. He can't really help that he's starting to fall for Malfoy either, even though he knows that nothing good could come out of that.
015: "Action / Adventure" - Andrew Bird ( lyrics )
But if you think I'm wasting your time again / no, you're wasting mine / when you're playing for a prime-time dream / the c n b scene / now I'm just another split in your seam / the I in your team
&. If Draco even tries to say that he's wasting his time again, Harry is going to burst a blood vessel. If anything, Draco is the one who is wasting his time with all of his insecurities and his hopeful dreams of becoming a man like his father. Why would anybody want to be like that? It makes no sense. It seems like he, Harry Potter, is the only one who is coming in between Draco and that 'dream'.
016: "Goodbye Forever" - Alkaline Trio ( lyrics )
The end is closer than ever before and you'll want nothing more
[…]
And we say goodbye and go underground / or up towards the sky, up in smoke, burnt down to size / at least we're still friends / at least we're still alive
&. The war wages on and all they really want by now is for it to be over. And, well, it seems as though they'll be getting their wish, since the final battle between Harry and Voldemort is closer than ever. But, because of that, they must finally part ways and say goodbye - for now, at least. In any case, they've made it so far into the war without being killed. At least they've come to an understanding and a sort-of-friendship, however twisted it may be.
017: "Flugufrelsarinn" - Sigur Rós ( lyrics - translated )
But today I will save as many flies as I can / in each hand I carry a net - determined / I throw them into the abyss and try to draw in the flies / before the smolts reach them where they combat the water / and so the day passes / going onboard, I had begun fighting the stream which had already killed so many / I can't breathe, getting heavier with every wave
[…]
Eternal war, peace nowhere / someone has to be sacrificed
&. Harry fights to save as many people as he can. In the final battle between Harry and Voldemort, Voldemort is defeated, but at what cost? Harry's life.
018: "Return" - OK Go ( lyrics )
You were supposed to grow old / reckless, unfrightened, and old / you were supposed to grow old / return, you were supposed to return
&. Draco mourns about Harry's death.
019: "Evening on the Ground (Lilith's Song)" - Iron & Wine ( lyrics )
Hey man, evening on the ground / and there is no one else around / so you will blame me
[…]
Blame me, I will wear it / in the empty hollow part of my garden
&. Draco's at trial with the Ministry as a convicted Death Eater. Now there really isn't anybody to save him. There is no way that he can get out of this without Harry testifying in his favor. Perhaps he should just go down with pride. [ahaha! you should probably ignore the biblical and feminist connotations of the actual song.]
020: "Caring is Creepy" - The Shins ( lyrics )
It's a luscious mix of words and tricks / that let us bet when you know we should fold / on rocks I dreamt of where we'd stepped / and the whole mess of roads we're now on
[…]
This is way beyond my remote concern / of being condescending / all these squawking birds won't quit / building nothing, laying bricks
&. In a cell of Azkaban, Draco feels like such a fool. He let his mind trick him for his entire life that the things he did were actually good ideas when they were, in actuality, bad ideas. It took his parents' death for him to finally stop and question why he should even do the things that, ultimately, aided in their death. He just got in too deep and couldn't get out. He wishes that people would just shut up and accept that everything they're trying to accomplish - a happily ever after ending - is just a big pile of crap. War is eternal, and there will never be peace.
He almost wishes that Harry was here to tell him that he's wrong, though.
ZIP FILE: here eta; if that link doesn't work, try here!
eta2; so apparently the second link has expired as well. *headdesk* i'm sorry guys, i don't know what's up. either ysi is being wacky or a hell of a lot of people downloaded this mix really quickly. :X
eta3; okay, so after_love was awesome enough to have uploaded this for the third time! download it from megaupload.
CREDITS:
- Cover graphics by after_love
- Cover image from Tactics doujinshi
- Textures from gender
- Uploading by after_love
NOTES:
I can't do any reups. I'm sorry! :((( I only have dial-up. But much, much love for my friend after_love for doing the uploading for me (again)! ♥ I hope you all enjoy it.