[003] Audio - OTA - NO ONE ASKS FOR RELATIONSHIP ADVICE LIKE GASTON.

[restisalldrips]

So Academy I happen to have a slight dilehma

Comments

STILL LAUGHING FIVE MINUTES LATER

[trueasitcanbe]

[Well, if you weren't such a sexist pig, maybe she'd pay a little more attention to you.]

I highly doubt destroying her books will get you anywhere, Gaston.

[Just a tip.]

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED

[restisalldrips]

[Gaston? Sexist? You lie.]

Hmm...you may be right, Belle.

Maybe if I get my men together and take out an entire library! That might get her attention!

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA

[trueasitcanbe]

[Right, I forgot how into women's liberation he is.]

That's not quite what I meant.

[She takes a deep breath. Patience is key with Gaston.]

Ostentatious gestures rarely make it very far with any lady. Most girls prefer small, sweet gestures.

LOLOLOL YOU SHOULDN'T I STILL SAY I SUCK AT HIM.

[restisalldrips]

...And what gestures would they be?

[fearthefool]

No...

She won't respect you if you can't respect her.

[restisalldrips]

But I DO respect her!

She'll make a fabulous wife for me! All I want is for her to raise six or seven little Gastons!

[fearthefool]

What if that's not what she wants?

[restisalldrips]

She'll want what I tell her to want! So says Gaston!

oh god sora why

[hasthemasterkey]

Uhhh. I don't think destroying her books is a good idea, to start with.

[Thinkthinkthink.]

Does she like flowers?

Because he wants to be bench pressed of course.

[restisalldrips]

Are there books about flowers...?

poor scrawny thing

[hasthemasterkey]

Sure! There's bound to be some in the library.

[restisalldrips]

Very well.

LEAD ME TO THIS LIBRARY!

BEST. RELATIONSHIP ADVICE. EVER.

[oftheblacksand]

Show her who her master is. Dominate her. Don't hesitate to use intimidation tactics - physical or emotional. It isn't a matter of convincing... it's a matter of breaking.

BUT THAT'S WHAT HE *HAS* BEEN DOING GAWWWD.

[restisalldrips]

No, That's no good.

If I break Belle I might be able to put her back together, She'd snap like a twig.

[WE'RE TALKING RELATIONSHIPS REALLY.]

HE HASN'T HIT HER ENOUGH. HIT THE WOMAN AND SHE'LL LOVE YOU?

[oftheblacksand]

If she snaps into something useless then she obviously wasn't worthy anyway.

[restisalldrips]

Are you saying Belle isn't worthy for me!?

[one_and_many]

[Oh dear. His bad ideas know no bounds. Still, he is asking for advice, and they are the school's guidance counsellors.]

If she likes books, destroying them will only make her angry with you.

If she likes books, you should give her a new book...with a flower and note from you tucked inside.

Or you could surprise her by reading a book and talking to her about the book you read.

[The sisters aren't sure he can read, so it's both advice they think might be helpful...and a way of testing if he can read or not.]

[restisalldrips]

Of course I can read!

Here give me a book! I'll prove to you I can read right now!

[one_and_many]

You do not need to prove anything to us.

It is the lady whom you desire that you must impress.

But, if you insist...here is a book.

[Poof. A copy of Shakespeare's Hamlet appears in front of Gaston a second later]

[restisalldrips]

[Gaston looks to the book and flips through it.]

There. Read.