Wait... Is there Cars fanfic? Like, shipping and smut fic? How would that even WORK? I mean, I guess it makes sense that some fic writers out there have thought about it enough to write, but watching the movie I have to turn my brain off at the Lightning/Sally bits because I'm afraid something will break. It just blows my mind a little bit.
There is. I've found a few stories on multi-fandom archives--they usually involve improper uses of the tailpipe. Most aren't that great, either, but that's what you get when all you can find is stuff on ff.net and aff.net.
And, uh, read at your own risk. Neither of those sites is known for high-quality. *still remembers the HP/Land Before Time crossover*
I MAKE NO PROMISES ON THE QUALITY OF IT. IT WAS ORIGINALLY FOUND THROUGH MCTABBY'S SUMMARY EXECUTIONS, SO THAT SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING. ALSO, AFF. NEVER A GOOD SIGN. WELL. EXCEPT FOR MY FIC OVER THERE.
negative connects to negative, sarge/fillmore, 1/1krissieleeJuly 8 2010, 06:13:55 UTC
So I got to thinking, what would the car equivalent of sex be? And then this happened.
Sarge had heard about it before, of course-recreational jumpstarting. He'd never partaken in such an activity, naturally, but he'd guessed Fillmore had. Models like Fillmore were all about frivolous and dangerous experimentation.
Sarge grumbled all through Fillmore attaching the cables, until he finally hushed him and said, "You have to turn everything off. The voltage spikes are intense; they could fry something."
He got one more grumble in before he complied. Fillmore pulled up beside him, so close his review mirror was nearly resting on his hood, but Fillmore had stressed the importance that they not be touching during the exchange. Sarge would have denied feeling awkward, hood up and engine exposed-awkward was for newer models, not army veterans-but it was surprising difficult to adhere to that condition.
“Ready?” Fillmore asked, and Sarge grunted, and then-and thenTo call the inrush current “intense” was to do the sensation a gross
( ... )
Re: negative connects to negative, sarge/fillmore, 1/1krissieleeJuly 8 2010, 14:07:51 UTC
Ahh, this is brilliant! <3 I am giggling like a fool, which is bad because I have to go to Vietnamese class in like five minutes and I'm certain they wouldn't understand my joy of this!
Thank you so so so much for doing this for me! You have made my life!
Poor Sarge. He's such a grump, but under it all he's happy he's got Fillmore, and everybody knows it. Even Fillmore, or he wouldn't try such things as recreational jumpstarting--which, by the way, is the BEST carsex equivalent I can now imagine. :D
"oh, nuts!"; sarge/fillmore; crack fill 1/1krissieleeJuly 17 2010, 06:09:49 UTC
I'm blaming you for this one."Almost... got it..." Fillmore grunted with exertion, entirely focused on trying to line the nuts gently swaying on his bumper against Sarge's tailpipe and push in-which was no mean feat
( ... )
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Still seconding like burning tho.
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And, uh, read at your own risk. Neither of those sites is known for high-quality. *still remembers the HP/Land Before Time crossover*
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PLEASE. PLEASE HELP ME TO READ THIS.
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I MAKE NO PROMISES ON THE QUALITY OF IT. IT WAS ORIGINALLY FOUND THROUGH MCTABBY'S SUMMARY EXECUTIONS, SO THAT SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING. ALSO, AFF. NEVER A GOOD SIGN. WELL. EXCEPT FOR MY FIC OVER THERE.
Reply
Sarge had heard about it before, of course-recreational jumpstarting. He'd never partaken in such an activity, naturally, but he'd guessed Fillmore had. Models like Fillmore were all about frivolous and dangerous experimentation.
Sarge grumbled all through Fillmore attaching the cables, until he finally hushed him and said, "You have to turn everything off. The voltage spikes are intense; they could fry something."
He got one more grumble in before he complied. Fillmore pulled up beside him, so close his review mirror was nearly resting on his hood, but Fillmore had stressed the importance that they not be touching during the exchange. Sarge would have denied feeling awkward, hood up and engine exposed-awkward was for newer models, not army veterans-but it was surprising difficult to adhere to that condition.
“Ready?” Fillmore asked, and Sarge grunted, and then-and thenTo call the inrush current “intense” was to do the sensation a gross ( ... )
Reply
Thank you so so so much for doing this for me! You have made my life!
Poor Sarge. He's such a grump, but under it all he's happy he's got Fillmore, and everybody knows it. Even Fillmore, or he wouldn't try such things as recreational jumpstarting--which, by the way, is the BEST carsex equivalent I can now imagine. :D
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Ha. :D I was trying to steer away from scandalous uses of tailpipes.
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It's brilliant! Thank you for winning at the universe.
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...Bumper nuts?
omg, I'm sorry for even thinking that. So, so ashamed.
Anyway, isn't it an old urban legend that plugging up a tailpipe will make a car explode?
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I think it is. Sounds like something they'd say, anyway.
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This is so brilliantly cracky and awesome! And gloriously in-character, too! Sarge makes me squee! <3
Thank you!!!
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I think I'm tapped out on car sex now, though. Unless they tried waxing...
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