Fic: Fears (Glee, Rachel/Quinn)
Title: Fears
Author: disasteral_boys
Fandom: Glee
Paring: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: NC-17
Length: 3813
Spoilers: None really, but references 1.13 'Sectionals'
Summary: Rachel's fears threaten to destroy her. The question is, will she let them?
Author's Note: Okay, so this is my first fic EVER. No, I'm not counting those that I wrote when I was 13 years old. So please go easy on me :) Comments would be really great too :D Prompt from Glee Angst, but I was told to make it happy, so the end is fluffy.
Rachel Berry stared at her doctor in complete shock. “I have what?” she exclaimed, barely remaining in her chair.
“Ms. Berry, I’m afraid you have a throat infection” the doctor repeated, wary of upsetting the teenage girl in front of him. “You’ll have to use your voice as little as possible over the next few weeks so it can heal.”
“This cannot be happening!” Rachel whispered to herself. “But Doctor Moore! I have a show for the Glee Club next week - I’m singing People from Funny Girl, I need to be able to use my voice,” she asserted.
Doctor Moore sighed. “Ms. Berry, I appreciate how much ‘Glee club’ means to you but, if you don’t want to damage your voice permanently, you have to limit its use.”
Rachel began to speak again, wanting to tell him just how important this song was to her, which he obviously didn’t understand, when she realised that if she really loved performing she would have to listen to him. She couldn’t risk damaging her voice, no to deny the world her voice would be criminal, she was sure of it. Performing was everything to her and to not be able to sing any more, well it’d probably kill her.
So she sighed and gave in. Rachel could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and looked down into her lap. She never went a day without singing; it was her outlet, it was her passion. She uploaded a video to her Myspace every day as practice, because there was always room for improvement. Performing was all she ever dreamed of.
“Ms. Berry, you’ll have to take this antibacterial medication twice a day until it is all used up. By that time your infection should be clear, and you’ll be able to use your voice again” Dr. Moore told her. He scribbled onto a slip and then handed it to Rachel.
She got out of her chair and smoothed her skirt silently.
“Thank you Doctor Moore,” she said quietly before she left, though her slightly agitated tone suggested she somehow blamed the doctor for her infection.
As Rachel walked back to her car, she finally felt the tears fall onto her cheeks. She stepped into the car, relieved to get away from the uncharacteristically harsh winds in Ohio that day.
She leant back into the headrest, feeling completely lost. Glee Club was often the only bright light in her day, which was usually saturated with gloomy clouds and a bitter darkness. Glee helped her feel…alive. It kept her going; it encouraged her to keep trying when everyone else tried to put her down.
And it wasn’t just that - all her friends, everyone whom she cared about at McKinley High was in the Club. What if in the three weeks everyone drifted away from her? She would be alone. Whilst Rachel had a confident persona, a lot of the time this was far from the truth. A lot of the time it was simply a façade. She knew she could be abrasive and she knew she took time to grow on people. She couldn’t face loosing her friends.
But most of all, she had this nagging voice deep inside her head telling her that the club didn’t love her at all, but that they loved her talent. She was afraid of this being proven to be true and having her insecurities pushed to the surface. For once, she wanted to be wrong.
As Rachel looked out of her car window just before she set off, the rain began pouring, hard. It seemed to be mirroring the stream flowing out of her eyes.
***
Rachel walked into Glee club the next day at school with her head down. Mr Shue gave her a sympathetic look and then a smile before hushing the students as Rachel went over to a chair.
“Okay guys,” Mr Shue said, clapping his hands together. “Unfortunately I have some bad news… Rachel has a throat infection and has been advised not to sing, or even talk for three weeks so as not to damage her voice,” he said getting straight to the point.
The rest of the Glee club turned to Rachel and stared at her. Normally Rachel liked the attention, but not today. She felt bare without her voice. She was pleased to see upset looks in the faces of her fellow performers; Finn and Artie gave her encouraging smiles, Mercedes put her hand on Rachel’s back and gave her a hug and surprisingly, Quinn looked extremely sympathetic.
Rachel felt her heart warm but then heard Santana whisper to Brittany “Thank God! Her big mouth will be shut for almost a month!”
“Can she not open her mouth, so it’s like glued shut?” Brittany exclaimed back, confused. Santana gave her a dismayed look and turned her back slightly.
Rachel sighed to herself, knowing that not everyone in the club was exactly a fan of her.
“Okay so obviously this means that someone else will have to sing ‘People’ for the school performance next week. Mercedes, I think you could take this one, right?”
“I got this, Mr Shue,” Mercedes said back enthusiastically.
“Santana, you’d then be doing Mercedes’ old part and still do background with Quinn, Tina and Brittany, got it?”
The students chimed back a yes. Mr Shue clapped his hands again and boomed “Okay, let’s give it a shot guys”
The band began to play and Mercedes began the song.
As Rachel watched them get up and sing, she felt her heart falling to the bottom of her stomach. It was painful. It wasn’t that she was hurt because she wasn’t singing the song, although she acknowledged that sometimes she had a problem with sharing, it was because she couldn’t. Her voice was the most precious part of her, and here it was, damaged, weak and useless. Her voice was a microcosm of her.
Rachel bent her head down as the tears began rising again. Not wanting to cry in front of everyone else, she swiftly got out of her chair and walked towards the door. She pulled it open and rushed out into the hallway towards the bathroom, her tears thick and heavy. She cried harder, still, when she realised that no one had called her back.
***
Rachel avoided going to Glee Club for almost three weeks. She knew that every time she stepped into that room she would not be able to stop herself from crying. She kept to herself, rushing out of classes as soon as the bell rang to avoid confrontation by anyone. She had a permanent look on her face that said she did not want to be approached by anyone. Really, she wanted someone to comfort her.
***
Rachel stood at her locker, taking out books she needed for English. She heard a “Hey!” across the corridor and saw that Finn was walking towards her. She quickly shut her locker and scrambled through the crowded corridor to class. She turned briefly and saw Finn amongst a sea of shorter people, looking confused and hurt.
Rachel felt bad and wanted to talk to him, but recently her paranoia was getting to her. She thought that he wanted to hang out because he was her friend, but maybe he wanted to keep her close for the sake of Glee? She remembered their ‘date’ a while back, where he’d taken her bowling and lied to her in an attempt to get her to rejoin the club. Maybe he wanted to keep her close solely to prevent her from leaving.
As Rachel took her chair in English, she shook her head at herself. She was surprised at how much she was letting this get to her and how paranoid she was being. Next thing she knew, she would taking a Radiohead song to Mr Shue for her to sing when she could use her voice again.
Finn really did care for her. Rachel remembered back to those times when Finn first joined Glee and how he always stood up for her when everyone else laughed down her ideas. He was always there for her. She then thought about everyone else. Mercedes had slowly become a good friend to her over the last year, Artie and Mike too and Tina especially so. Rachel enjoyed their company and knew they enjoyed hers. Whilst her and Kurt had once often clashed over Finn, they had bonded in their shared sense of solidarity.
Thinking about it, Rachel realised it was only the two Cheerio’s and the one ex-Cheerio, Quinn Fabray, who seemed to hold any kind of negative attitude towards her. And Rachel realised, with a smile on her face, that it didn’t matter to her. Well, not being liked by Brittany and Santana didn’t matter. Quinn was a different story.
These past few weeks, when not worrying about her supposed lack of friends, Rachel had been thinking about Quinn. Somehow, Quinn would drift into her mind when doing the most mundane things: homework, exercise, when she was watching TV. Rachel wasn’t sure of how she should feel about this.
But there was something she was sure of; Quinn Fabray despised her. In spite of their talk once Finn found out that he was not the father of Quinn’s baby, Quinn hadn’t been too friendly towards Rachel since. She wasn’t sure why.
Quinn had given her baby to a family a few months ago and Rachel had hoped that, now the baby drama was over, she and Quinn could be friends. But Quinn had gone back to being Quinn Fabray, head Cheerio and chronic insulter of Rachel Berry. If anything, her dislike for Rachel seemed to be stronger than it ever was before.
Rachel preferred not to think about this. She thought instead of the look Quinn had given her when Mr. Shue told Glee Club that Rachel couldn’t use her voice. Despite Quinn’s abhorrent attitude to Rachel, the look gave Rachel a tiny glimmer of hope. Maybe one day they could be friends.
Rachel jumped at the sound of the school bell. She’d realised she had no idea what had just gone on in the lesson she currently sat in. She shook her head again. She had to stop this impending self-destruction; she had a 4.0 GPA to keep up! She had friends and she had talent she told herself firmly.
Rachel got out of her chair, confident. She wouldn’t let her fears destroy her; no, she was stronger than that.
***
Rachel got to Glee club early, extra early, half an hour early. She walked into the familiar room and felt a rush, a feeling of excitement. She’d forgotten what Glee did to her and how it inspired her.
Rachel rushed over to the piano and eagerly dropped onto the stool, lifting up the cover off the keys. She began to play, improvising, and let her emotions spill out, the melody playing what she could not say. Rachel closed her eyes and the music filled her head. It soothed her. It calmed her.
Rachel’s fingers came to a slow stop and then she let out a deep breath. She felt refreshed and energised. She heard a cough and then flinched, quickly turning towards the door and feeling for her rape whistle in her pocket.
It was Quinn. She was leaning against the doorframe with an inscrutable expression fixed on her face, though her cheeks were flushed a deep pink.
“That was a beautiful song” Quinn stated, her eyes unreadable. “Man hands” she added quickly, as though she felt she should.
Rachel half-smiled at her and then looked down at the piano keys. Quinn’s insults only hurt her when she knew that she meant them. She was surprised as she felt her heart beating faster now that Quinn was in the room.
Quinn began nervously walking towards the piano. “So you haven’t been at Glee club at all and I haven’t seen you around much,” she said, trying to sound casual. Quinn reached the piano and stroked the side of it gently, avoiding Rachel’s eyes. Her voice had a slight quiver to it.
“Just because you can’t use your voice, it doesn’t mean that you can’t come to Glee,” Quinn mumbled to the floor.
Rachel looked up to her, confused. Why on earth was Quinn being sort of… nice to her? It reminded Rachel of a dream she’d had last week, except things had ended up a bit nc-17. She blushed hard as the dream came back to her and stared at the keys again.
She focused on Quinn’s words and realised that Quinn seemed to have been looking out for her, wondering where she was. This filled Rachel with a joy she couldn’t push down.
She looked up again at Quinn, who was now leaning on the side of the piano but facing Rachel, her eyes fixated on her own fingers. Quinn was still flushed and through her blonde hair, Rachel could see that the tips of Quinn’s ears were a shade of red.
“We missed you. I missed you,” Quinn said quietly. Rachel swallowed, hard. Even if she could use her voice, she wouldn’t know what to say. She was staring hard at Quinn, trying to illicit another response from her.
Quinn closed her eyes tightly and then turned so that she was facing Rachel directly. She walked a step closer to Rachel, who was looking at her from the piano stool. With every step Quinn took closer to Rachel, the more the air seemed to be pressing down on the both of them, quickening their breathing.
“I’m sorry,” Quinn stated, limp but meaningful. She’d let her eyes meet Rachel’s after she’d said it but then quickly dropped them again. The look on Rachel’s face was one of perplexity so Quinn continued.
“I’m sorry for how I treated you, ever, but mostly these past few months. You… you were really helpful to me and so supportive with my pregnancy and I was just terrible to you,” Quinn said. Rachel didn’t know how to react, at a loss for words. She must be dreaming, there is no way Quinn would ever say this.
Quinn hesitated before she said the next sentence. “Your absence these past few weeks reiterated my fears. You see being mean to you was a defence mechanism for me because… because I realised something that day you spoke to me when Finn found out about the baby. And not letting you get close to me was my way of dealing with it and it was my way of trying to prevent the inevitable.”
Rachel was completely drawn in, her heart thumping against her chest. Her expression showed a mixture of confusion and surprise but mostly her look was eager and desperate. What was Quinn trying to say?
Quinn paused and hesitated once again. Whether it was because Quinn was unsure of her words or unsure of the reaction they would gather, Rachel could not tell.
“It was my way of trying to stop myself falling in love with you.”
Rachel’s eyes widened and she felt all the air inside her body get sucked out of her, yet felt her heart crashing against her ribcage, pumping furiously. She felt light and weak, delirious.
What was happening right now, what was happening in reality, was better than anything Rachel had ever dreamt.
Her insides were shaking and her mind was jumbled, but there weren’t any thoughts running through it. And yet she knew what she wanted to do. She didn’t have to think about it, she didn’t have to process, she just knew.
Rachel Berry let go of her fears and stepped up to Quinn Fabray, who had finally overcome her own. She walked up to Quinn until she was so close that she could feel Quinn’s body heat radiating against her.
“Quinn,” Rachel said softly, the first word she had spoken in almost three weeks. Quinn looked up at the sound of her voice and her shining eyes met Rachel’s.
The look in Quinn’s eyes showed more than words could ever say.
Rachel swallowed again and then leant her head forward and crushed her lips against Quinn’s. Both their bodies jolted as they felt the electricity flow through them.
Quinn reached out and placed her strong hands on Rachel’s waist, pulling the brunette closer to her. She opened her mouth and then their tongues danced a sloppy tango, desperate and hungry. Rachel put her hands onto the sides of Quinn’s face and let her thumbs gently stroke Quinn’s jaw line.
As their mouths moved together, Quinn removed her hands from Rachel’s waist to unbutton her argyle cardigan, which Rachel shook off frantically. She turned her back to Rachel, who unbuttoned the back of Quinn’s dress and then slipped it over Quinn’s head.
Quinn reached for Rachel again and kissed her deeply, turning and pushing Rachel against the piano. As Quinn moved to kiss Rachel’s neck, Rachel let out deep breaths, her breathing erratic, and she gripped onto Quinn’s arms tightly. Rachel’s fingers then trembled down to her skirt, which she unzipped and let fall down.
Both pairs of hands began exploring the other’s body, fingers stroking the soft skin, the curves and the warmth. Quinn reached behind Rachel and unhooked Rachel’s bra so that it fell onto the floor. She then removed her own and kissed Rachel again with her hands pressed against Rachel’s breasts, their bodies undulating together.
Neither of them could hold out any longer. Rachel placed her hands on the piano behind her and jumped up so that she sat on it, before Quinn pushed her down onto her back. Quinn jumped up and placed her knees either side of Rachel’s hips so that she was straddling her.
She quickly removed Rachel’s underwear and flung it behind her. Rachel opened her legs wide and Quinn put her knees in the gap between them and bent down.
What Quinn was about to do, she’d never done before but even so she felt as though she knew what to do, it was natural to her. Quinn placed her fingers on the surface of Rachel’s folds, gently tracing her fingertips across them before putting her fingers into them.
Rachel let out a sharp gasp and Quinn felt the wetness between her own legs dampen even more so. Quinn felt around slightly before she found the sensitive nub she was looking for. She let her thumb stroke it, experimenting different directions. Rachel let out a low, primal moan that sent shockwaves through Quinn’s bones.
Quinn inserted a finger into Rachel, slowly and curled it before pulling it out, repeating this. Rachel arched her back, her breathing shallow, and she panted,
“Quinn…more…I need more of you.”
Quinn let out a moan of her own and placed a second finger inside Rachel and pumped harder and faster. She looked up to Rachel, who was desperately clinging to the sides of the piano. With every moan Rachel let out, Quinn felt the thumping between her own legs grow and to alleviate it, she began pressing her own legs together.
“Quinn,” Rachel sighed out. Quinn moved her head down and kissed the inside of Rachel’s thighs before replacing her fingers with her tongue, sliding it in and out of Rachel. She massaged Rachel’s clit with her thumb and Rachel began screaming out, “Quinn” repeatedly, her hands over her eyes as though she couldn’t believe the pleasure she was receiving. Rachel’s hips bucked upwards and began moving in rhythm with Quinn.
Quinn moved her free hand down to her own folds and began thrusting her fingers into them as she slid her tongue into Rachel. Both were moaning and sighing, their backs arched and their bodies covered in a layer of glistening sweat.
Quinn slipped out her tongue and replaced it with two fingers, which began thrusting into Rachel again. With her mouth, Quinn began sucking on Rachel’s clit, causing Rachel to arch her back even more so and she was now moaning incessantly. She was so close.
Rachel felt a huge wave of pleasure ride over her and gripped onto Quinn’s shoulders as she let it flow through every inch of her and emitted a heavy sigh. Moments later, Quinn came hard, gasping as the tide hit her, calling out Rachel’s name.
Rachel laid there, her back against the piano surface and was breathing rapidly with her eyes glistening. Quinn moved up and lay beside her, sliding her fingers across Rachel’s stomach and tracing patterns in her tan skin, too breathing fast.
Rachel kissed Quinn again, gripping Quinn’s face softly. They looked into each other’s eyes and smiled, half not believing what had just happened and half incredibly satisfied.
It was then that Quinn’s face fell. She swiftly turned to look at the clock on the wall; in a couple of minutes the rest of Glee club would be here. Quinn didn’t even need to say anything as Rachel sat up in a panic. Quinn slid down from the piano and helped the brunette down as they giggled and grabbed their clothes, quickly throwing them over their bodies.
Trembling hands fumbled with buttons and vainly tried to pat down their hair to prevent it looking less ‘sexed up’. When both had their outfits back on, they smoothed them down and then took a hold of each other again to kiss passionately.
Quinn broke off from Rachel with closed eyes. “So…what now?” Quinn asked cautiously. Rachel watched Quinn’s face and tried to analyse her expression, but couldn’t read it. She knew what she wanted to say but she wasn’t sure if she should say it.
Before Rachel could say anything however, Quinn looked up and their eyes met.
“Would…would you like to go out sometime?” Quinn asked quietly but confidently. Rachel felt her heart swell and couldn’t stop a large smile spreading across her face. Quinn grinned when she saw this reaction and even more so when Rachel replied with a, “I would, very much so.”
Just then, there were footsteps at the door and Quinn and Rachel jumped away from each other. Mr Shue walked in followed by Mike, Mercedes and Kurt, who were all chatting enthusiastically about which artist they should cover next; Mike wanted Bon Jovi, Mercedes wanted to do more Madonna and Kurt wanted to cover Britney Spears.
Mr Shue beamed as he saw Rachel standing in the room with Quinn. “Rachel! Where have you been all my life?” he said enthusiastically. Rachel giggled.
“Quinn, you’re here early,” Mr Shue said with a smile.
“I came to cheer Rachel up,” Quinn replied with a smirk.
“Did it work?” Mr Shue asked as he flipped through his folder for sheet music.
Quinn and Rachel looked at each other and grinned, eyebrows raised.
“I think so, Mr Shue, I definitely think so.”
***
Thanks for reading!
Author: disasteral_boys
Fandom: Glee
Paring: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: NC-17
Length: 3813
Spoilers: None really, but references 1.13 'Sectionals'
Summary: Rachel's fears threaten to destroy her. The question is, will she let them?
Author's Note: Okay, so this is my first fic EVER. No, I'm not counting those that I wrote when I was 13 years old. So please go easy on me :) Comments would be really great too :D Prompt from Glee Angst, but I was told to make it happy, so the end is fluffy.
Rachel Berry stared at her doctor in complete shock. “I have what?” she exclaimed, barely remaining in her chair.
“Ms. Berry, I’m afraid you have a throat infection” the doctor repeated, wary of upsetting the teenage girl in front of him. “You’ll have to use your voice as little as possible over the next few weeks so it can heal.”
“This cannot be happening!” Rachel whispered to herself. “But Doctor Moore! I have a show for the Glee Club next week - I’m singing People from Funny Girl, I need to be able to use my voice,” she asserted.
Doctor Moore sighed. “Ms. Berry, I appreciate how much ‘Glee club’ means to you but, if you don’t want to damage your voice permanently, you have to limit its use.”
Rachel began to speak again, wanting to tell him just how important this song was to her, which he obviously didn’t understand, when she realised that if she really loved performing she would have to listen to him. She couldn’t risk damaging her voice, no to deny the world her voice would be criminal, she was sure of it. Performing was everything to her and to not be able to sing any more, well it’d probably kill her.
So she sighed and gave in. Rachel could feel the tears welling up in her eyes and looked down into her lap. She never went a day without singing; it was her outlet, it was her passion. She uploaded a video to her Myspace every day as practice, because there was always room for improvement. Performing was all she ever dreamed of.
“Ms. Berry, you’ll have to take this antibacterial medication twice a day until it is all used up. By that time your infection should be clear, and you’ll be able to use your voice again” Dr. Moore told her. He scribbled onto a slip and then handed it to Rachel.
She got out of her chair and smoothed her skirt silently.
“Thank you Doctor Moore,” she said quietly before she left, though her slightly agitated tone suggested she somehow blamed the doctor for her infection.
As Rachel walked back to her car, she finally felt the tears fall onto her cheeks. She stepped into the car, relieved to get away from the uncharacteristically harsh winds in Ohio that day.
She leant back into the headrest, feeling completely lost. Glee Club was often the only bright light in her day, which was usually saturated with gloomy clouds and a bitter darkness. Glee helped her feel…alive. It kept her going; it encouraged her to keep trying when everyone else tried to put her down.
And it wasn’t just that - all her friends, everyone whom she cared about at McKinley High was in the Club. What if in the three weeks everyone drifted away from her? She would be alone. Whilst Rachel had a confident persona, a lot of the time this was far from the truth. A lot of the time it was simply a façade. She knew she could be abrasive and she knew she took time to grow on people. She couldn’t face loosing her friends.
But most of all, she had this nagging voice deep inside her head telling her that the club didn’t love her at all, but that they loved her talent. She was afraid of this being proven to be true and having her insecurities pushed to the surface. For once, she wanted to be wrong.
As Rachel looked out of her car window just before she set off, the rain began pouring, hard. It seemed to be mirroring the stream flowing out of her eyes.
***
Rachel walked into Glee club the next day at school with her head down. Mr Shue gave her a sympathetic look and then a smile before hushing the students as Rachel went over to a chair.
“Okay guys,” Mr Shue said, clapping his hands together. “Unfortunately I have some bad news… Rachel has a throat infection and has been advised not to sing, or even talk for three weeks so as not to damage her voice,” he said getting straight to the point.
The rest of the Glee club turned to Rachel and stared at her. Normally Rachel liked the attention, but not today. She felt bare without her voice. She was pleased to see upset looks in the faces of her fellow performers; Finn and Artie gave her encouraging smiles, Mercedes put her hand on Rachel’s back and gave her a hug and surprisingly, Quinn looked extremely sympathetic.
Rachel felt her heart warm but then heard Santana whisper to Brittany “Thank God! Her big mouth will be shut for almost a month!”
“Can she not open her mouth, so it’s like glued shut?” Brittany exclaimed back, confused. Santana gave her a dismayed look and turned her back slightly.
Rachel sighed to herself, knowing that not everyone in the club was exactly a fan of her.
“Okay so obviously this means that someone else will have to sing ‘People’ for the school performance next week. Mercedes, I think you could take this one, right?”
“I got this, Mr Shue,” Mercedes said back enthusiastically.
“Santana, you’d then be doing Mercedes’ old part and still do background with Quinn, Tina and Brittany, got it?”
The students chimed back a yes. Mr Shue clapped his hands again and boomed “Okay, let’s give it a shot guys”
The band began to play and Mercedes began the song.
As Rachel watched them get up and sing, she felt her heart falling to the bottom of her stomach. It was painful. It wasn’t that she was hurt because she wasn’t singing the song, although she acknowledged that sometimes she had a problem with sharing, it was because she couldn’t. Her voice was the most precious part of her, and here it was, damaged, weak and useless. Her voice was a microcosm of her.
Rachel bent her head down as the tears began rising again. Not wanting to cry in front of everyone else, she swiftly got out of her chair and walked towards the door. She pulled it open and rushed out into the hallway towards the bathroom, her tears thick and heavy. She cried harder, still, when she realised that no one had called her back.
***
Rachel avoided going to Glee Club for almost three weeks. She knew that every time she stepped into that room she would not be able to stop herself from crying. She kept to herself, rushing out of classes as soon as the bell rang to avoid confrontation by anyone. She had a permanent look on her face that said she did not want to be approached by anyone. Really, she wanted someone to comfort her.
***
Rachel stood at her locker, taking out books she needed for English. She heard a “Hey!” across the corridor and saw that Finn was walking towards her. She quickly shut her locker and scrambled through the crowded corridor to class. She turned briefly and saw Finn amongst a sea of shorter people, looking confused and hurt.
Rachel felt bad and wanted to talk to him, but recently her paranoia was getting to her. She thought that he wanted to hang out because he was her friend, but maybe he wanted to keep her close for the sake of Glee? She remembered their ‘date’ a while back, where he’d taken her bowling and lied to her in an attempt to get her to rejoin the club. Maybe he wanted to keep her close solely to prevent her from leaving.
As Rachel took her chair in English, she shook her head at herself. She was surprised at how much she was letting this get to her and how paranoid she was being. Next thing she knew, she would taking a Radiohead song to Mr Shue for her to sing when she could use her voice again.
Finn really did care for her. Rachel remembered back to those times when Finn first joined Glee and how he always stood up for her when everyone else laughed down her ideas. He was always there for her. She then thought about everyone else. Mercedes had slowly become a good friend to her over the last year, Artie and Mike too and Tina especially so. Rachel enjoyed their company and knew they enjoyed hers. Whilst her and Kurt had once often clashed over Finn, they had bonded in their shared sense of solidarity.
Thinking about it, Rachel realised it was only the two Cheerio’s and the one ex-Cheerio, Quinn Fabray, who seemed to hold any kind of negative attitude towards her. And Rachel realised, with a smile on her face, that it didn’t matter to her. Well, not being liked by Brittany and Santana didn’t matter. Quinn was a different story.
These past few weeks, when not worrying about her supposed lack of friends, Rachel had been thinking about Quinn. Somehow, Quinn would drift into her mind when doing the most mundane things: homework, exercise, when she was watching TV. Rachel wasn’t sure of how she should feel about this.
But there was something she was sure of; Quinn Fabray despised her. In spite of their talk once Finn found out that he was not the father of Quinn’s baby, Quinn hadn’t been too friendly towards Rachel since. She wasn’t sure why.
Quinn had given her baby to a family a few months ago and Rachel had hoped that, now the baby drama was over, she and Quinn could be friends. But Quinn had gone back to being Quinn Fabray, head Cheerio and chronic insulter of Rachel Berry. If anything, her dislike for Rachel seemed to be stronger than it ever was before.
Rachel preferred not to think about this. She thought instead of the look Quinn had given her when Mr. Shue told Glee Club that Rachel couldn’t use her voice. Despite Quinn’s abhorrent attitude to Rachel, the look gave Rachel a tiny glimmer of hope. Maybe one day they could be friends.
Rachel jumped at the sound of the school bell. She’d realised she had no idea what had just gone on in the lesson she currently sat in. She shook her head again. She had to stop this impending self-destruction; she had a 4.0 GPA to keep up! She had friends and she had talent she told herself firmly.
Rachel got out of her chair, confident. She wouldn’t let her fears destroy her; no, she was stronger than that.
***
Rachel got to Glee club early, extra early, half an hour early. She walked into the familiar room and felt a rush, a feeling of excitement. She’d forgotten what Glee did to her and how it inspired her.
Rachel rushed over to the piano and eagerly dropped onto the stool, lifting up the cover off the keys. She began to play, improvising, and let her emotions spill out, the melody playing what she could not say. Rachel closed her eyes and the music filled her head. It soothed her. It calmed her.
Rachel’s fingers came to a slow stop and then she let out a deep breath. She felt refreshed and energised. She heard a cough and then flinched, quickly turning towards the door and feeling for her rape whistle in her pocket.
It was Quinn. She was leaning against the doorframe with an inscrutable expression fixed on her face, though her cheeks were flushed a deep pink.
“That was a beautiful song” Quinn stated, her eyes unreadable. “Man hands” she added quickly, as though she felt she should.
Rachel half-smiled at her and then looked down at the piano keys. Quinn’s insults only hurt her when she knew that she meant them. She was surprised as she felt her heart beating faster now that Quinn was in the room.
Quinn began nervously walking towards the piano. “So you haven’t been at Glee club at all and I haven’t seen you around much,” she said, trying to sound casual. Quinn reached the piano and stroked the side of it gently, avoiding Rachel’s eyes. Her voice had a slight quiver to it.
“Just because you can’t use your voice, it doesn’t mean that you can’t come to Glee,” Quinn mumbled to the floor.
Rachel looked up to her, confused. Why on earth was Quinn being sort of… nice to her? It reminded Rachel of a dream she’d had last week, except things had ended up a bit nc-17. She blushed hard as the dream came back to her and stared at the keys again.
She focused on Quinn’s words and realised that Quinn seemed to have been looking out for her, wondering where she was. This filled Rachel with a joy she couldn’t push down.
She looked up again at Quinn, who was now leaning on the side of the piano but facing Rachel, her eyes fixated on her own fingers. Quinn was still flushed and through her blonde hair, Rachel could see that the tips of Quinn’s ears were a shade of red.
“We missed you. I missed you,” Quinn said quietly. Rachel swallowed, hard. Even if she could use her voice, she wouldn’t know what to say. She was staring hard at Quinn, trying to illicit another response from her.
Quinn closed her eyes tightly and then turned so that she was facing Rachel directly. She walked a step closer to Rachel, who was looking at her from the piano stool. With every step Quinn took closer to Rachel, the more the air seemed to be pressing down on the both of them, quickening their breathing.
“I’m sorry,” Quinn stated, limp but meaningful. She’d let her eyes meet Rachel’s after she’d said it but then quickly dropped them again. The look on Rachel’s face was one of perplexity so Quinn continued.
“I’m sorry for how I treated you, ever, but mostly these past few months. You… you were really helpful to me and so supportive with my pregnancy and I was just terrible to you,” Quinn said. Rachel didn’t know how to react, at a loss for words. She must be dreaming, there is no way Quinn would ever say this.
Quinn hesitated before she said the next sentence. “Your absence these past few weeks reiterated my fears. You see being mean to you was a defence mechanism for me because… because I realised something that day you spoke to me when Finn found out about the baby. And not letting you get close to me was my way of dealing with it and it was my way of trying to prevent the inevitable.”
Rachel was completely drawn in, her heart thumping against her chest. Her expression showed a mixture of confusion and surprise but mostly her look was eager and desperate. What was Quinn trying to say?
Quinn paused and hesitated once again. Whether it was because Quinn was unsure of her words or unsure of the reaction they would gather, Rachel could not tell.
“It was my way of trying to stop myself falling in love with you.”
Rachel’s eyes widened and she felt all the air inside her body get sucked out of her, yet felt her heart crashing against her ribcage, pumping furiously. She felt light and weak, delirious.
What was happening right now, what was happening in reality, was better than anything Rachel had ever dreamt.
Her insides were shaking and her mind was jumbled, but there weren’t any thoughts running through it. And yet she knew what she wanted to do. She didn’t have to think about it, she didn’t have to process, she just knew.
Rachel Berry let go of her fears and stepped up to Quinn Fabray, who had finally overcome her own. She walked up to Quinn until she was so close that she could feel Quinn’s body heat radiating against her.
“Quinn,” Rachel said softly, the first word she had spoken in almost three weeks. Quinn looked up at the sound of her voice and her shining eyes met Rachel’s.
The look in Quinn’s eyes showed more than words could ever say.
Rachel swallowed again and then leant her head forward and crushed her lips against Quinn’s. Both their bodies jolted as they felt the electricity flow through them.
Quinn reached out and placed her strong hands on Rachel’s waist, pulling the brunette closer to her. She opened her mouth and then their tongues danced a sloppy tango, desperate and hungry. Rachel put her hands onto the sides of Quinn’s face and let her thumbs gently stroke Quinn’s jaw line.
As their mouths moved together, Quinn removed her hands from Rachel’s waist to unbutton her argyle cardigan, which Rachel shook off frantically. She turned her back to Rachel, who unbuttoned the back of Quinn’s dress and then slipped it over Quinn’s head.
Quinn reached for Rachel again and kissed her deeply, turning and pushing Rachel against the piano. As Quinn moved to kiss Rachel’s neck, Rachel let out deep breaths, her breathing erratic, and she gripped onto Quinn’s arms tightly. Rachel’s fingers then trembled down to her skirt, which she unzipped and let fall down.
Both pairs of hands began exploring the other’s body, fingers stroking the soft skin, the curves and the warmth. Quinn reached behind Rachel and unhooked Rachel’s bra so that it fell onto the floor. She then removed her own and kissed Rachel again with her hands pressed against Rachel’s breasts, their bodies undulating together.
Neither of them could hold out any longer. Rachel placed her hands on the piano behind her and jumped up so that she sat on it, before Quinn pushed her down onto her back. Quinn jumped up and placed her knees either side of Rachel’s hips so that she was straddling her.
She quickly removed Rachel’s underwear and flung it behind her. Rachel opened her legs wide and Quinn put her knees in the gap between them and bent down.
What Quinn was about to do, she’d never done before but even so she felt as though she knew what to do, it was natural to her. Quinn placed her fingers on the surface of Rachel’s folds, gently tracing her fingertips across them before putting her fingers into them.
Rachel let out a sharp gasp and Quinn felt the wetness between her own legs dampen even more so. Quinn felt around slightly before she found the sensitive nub she was looking for. She let her thumb stroke it, experimenting different directions. Rachel let out a low, primal moan that sent shockwaves through Quinn’s bones.
Quinn inserted a finger into Rachel, slowly and curled it before pulling it out, repeating this. Rachel arched her back, her breathing shallow, and she panted,
“Quinn…more…I need more of you.”
Quinn let out a moan of her own and placed a second finger inside Rachel and pumped harder and faster. She looked up to Rachel, who was desperately clinging to the sides of the piano. With every moan Rachel let out, Quinn felt the thumping between her own legs grow and to alleviate it, she began pressing her own legs together.
“Quinn,” Rachel sighed out. Quinn moved her head down and kissed the inside of Rachel’s thighs before replacing her fingers with her tongue, sliding it in and out of Rachel. She massaged Rachel’s clit with her thumb and Rachel began screaming out, “Quinn” repeatedly, her hands over her eyes as though she couldn’t believe the pleasure she was receiving. Rachel’s hips bucked upwards and began moving in rhythm with Quinn.
Quinn moved her free hand down to her own folds and began thrusting her fingers into them as she slid her tongue into Rachel. Both were moaning and sighing, their backs arched and their bodies covered in a layer of glistening sweat.
Quinn slipped out her tongue and replaced it with two fingers, which began thrusting into Rachel again. With her mouth, Quinn began sucking on Rachel’s clit, causing Rachel to arch her back even more so and she was now moaning incessantly. She was so close.
Rachel felt a huge wave of pleasure ride over her and gripped onto Quinn’s shoulders as she let it flow through every inch of her and emitted a heavy sigh. Moments later, Quinn came hard, gasping as the tide hit her, calling out Rachel’s name.
Rachel laid there, her back against the piano surface and was breathing rapidly with her eyes glistening. Quinn moved up and lay beside her, sliding her fingers across Rachel’s stomach and tracing patterns in her tan skin, too breathing fast.
Rachel kissed Quinn again, gripping Quinn’s face softly. They looked into each other’s eyes and smiled, half not believing what had just happened and half incredibly satisfied.
It was then that Quinn’s face fell. She swiftly turned to look at the clock on the wall; in a couple of minutes the rest of Glee club would be here. Quinn didn’t even need to say anything as Rachel sat up in a panic. Quinn slid down from the piano and helped the brunette down as they giggled and grabbed their clothes, quickly throwing them over their bodies.
Trembling hands fumbled with buttons and vainly tried to pat down their hair to prevent it looking less ‘sexed up’. When both had their outfits back on, they smoothed them down and then took a hold of each other again to kiss passionately.
Quinn broke off from Rachel with closed eyes. “So…what now?” Quinn asked cautiously. Rachel watched Quinn’s face and tried to analyse her expression, but couldn’t read it. She knew what she wanted to say but she wasn’t sure if she should say it.
Before Rachel could say anything however, Quinn looked up and their eyes met.
“Would…would you like to go out sometime?” Quinn asked quietly but confidently. Rachel felt her heart swell and couldn’t stop a large smile spreading across her face. Quinn grinned when she saw this reaction and even more so when Rachel replied with a, “I would, very much so.”
Just then, there were footsteps at the door and Quinn and Rachel jumped away from each other. Mr Shue walked in followed by Mike, Mercedes and Kurt, who were all chatting enthusiastically about which artist they should cover next; Mike wanted Bon Jovi, Mercedes wanted to do more Madonna and Kurt wanted to cover Britney Spears.
Mr Shue beamed as he saw Rachel standing in the room with Quinn. “Rachel! Where have you been all my life?” he said enthusiastically. Rachel giggled.
“Quinn, you’re here early,” Mr Shue said with a smile.
“I came to cheer Rachel up,” Quinn replied with a smirk.
“Did it work?” Mr Shue asked as he flipped through his folder for sheet music.
Quinn and Rachel looked at each other and grinned, eyebrows raised.
“I think so, Mr Shue, I definitely think so.”
***
Thanks for reading!