fic: the fruit of the melancholy tree

[dime_for_12]

Okay, so this is a Sam-POV of select events from "Mouths of Decadence." This fic takes place - approximately - about a quarter into MOD and ends well before MOD does, and certainly before "Forget the Ills." More author's notes (because I believe in excuses, apparently) at the end :DD

required reading: Mouths of Decadence.
OMGWTF: Sam POV; DEALS

Comments

[thesiriusmoon]

Wow! This was heartbreaking and very believable. Wonderful job! I`m all teary now.

[dime_for_12]

thank you :D *offers tissue* I'm really glad you thought it was believable!

[geminigrl11]

This whole 'verse blows me away. I know it's extreme, how Sam handles his horrifying fear and the guilt and feelings overwhelming responsibility he's internalized. But (maybe especially after seeing his heaven memories) it also seems so realistic. I can see John saying the things he said and Sam seeing Dean's dead body everywhere and feeling like he's getting sucked under every minute of every day that Dean is gone or there's a hunt or they're moving again. I can see him wanting and needing something more (like Stanford) for sanity's sake, not the selfishness he's always been painted with. It was too much, their life. Dean handled it in his way, and Sam handled it in his. And I can totally believe Sam handling it like this, if just a few small things had been different.

So well done.

[dime_for_12]

wow. thank you so much. And I'm relieved that John, even though he's extreme, still can fit, here. I tried to get him realistic (not just bashed). Unsure, grieving, and also filtered through his sons' perceptions, which I think is important. It's not him, really, it's how and WHAT Sam sees, too. /babble

I adored your feedback :DDDDD

[geminigrl11]

YES!! It's so easy to see how John, with an utter lack of tact and tunnel vision (fueled by grief, fear, protectiveness, and definitely too much alcohol/not enough sleep and no one else to really rely on as a co-parent, as much as he put on Dean's shoulders) could say and do the wrong things without bad intentions. And I think he had ZERO patience when Sam simply asked the "why" questions, let alone really pushed against John's agenda. Hierarchy of command and all that, in the truest combat sense. So this fic, like lovesrain44's Sparta 'verse (http://lovesrain44.livejournal.com/tag/sparta), shows how everything, even the well-meant or innocuous things, became huge sources of tension for him and Sam. Perception is everything

[dime_for_12]

Yeah, I've read that fic (and, wow, is it heartbreakingly lovely, from what I remember).

And about the reviewing - that's no problem :DD so don't worry (matter of fact, I'm constantly surprised that MoD got the attention it did. I was kind of - and still am - iffy about that fic, really!

[jukeboxxed]

This was really nice, good work :)

[dime_for_12]

thank you!

[de_nugis]

I've read bits of your fic in comment-memes with much pleasure, but I think this is the first time I have actually visited your journal and read systematically. This, along with Mouths of Decadence, is lovely; it has real depth and subtlety, and doesn't fall into After School Special mode. (It may help that I am not a huge John Winchester fan).

I also like your Mystery Spot codas a lot. Much though I love Dean, I like that you see the dark side of his Deal.

I am friending you, unless you mind?

[dime_for_12]

aw, thank you, and no - friend away!

(and, yeah - not much of a John fan myself, I much rather - and unabashedly - prefer Bobby, myself 0:D )

[lavinialavender]

Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow. I have to go back and read this again right away, and then several more times after that.

Man. Have I told you how much I admire your writing? Because I do. All your descriptive lines are simple, to the point, and breathtaking. And this is so intense. I like how it weaves in with parts of Mouths of Decadence, and it's sad we don't see the resolution, but I guess we don't have to. Though it makes this such a sadder fic, especially with the ending realization being what it is - guh, those lines, Dean realizing it too.

One favorite paragraph among many:

Everything irritates him, and he's expecting Dean to use it as an excuse to leave, stay out all night, hook up, do whatever, but his brother sticks close, even and annoyingly capable. He's suddenly all suave forgiveness every time Sam spits insults at him, just shrugging it off like it doesn't matter.

Because yeah, I love how you write Dean and Sam's relationship (in this and all your other fics), especially as teenagers. It's beautiful and realistic.

[dime_for_12]

Yay, I'm so glad you liked this. More than anything, I was thinking "hmm" in your direction, hoping it'd be a nice follow up to MoD

[lavinialavender]

Yay, I'm so glad you liked this. More than anything, I was thinking "hmm" in your direction, hoping it'd be a nice follow up to MoD.
♥ xamillion

Yeah, I'm glad you see the family that way - it makes sense to me as well. Especially how Dean prioritizes Sam's happiness above John's - that was one of my favorite parts of MoD and the sequel, how Dean's anger overrides his hero-worship of John.

Love it SO MUCH.

ETA: New favorite quote after reading it again:

The feel of bones under his hands is almost comforting. Knowing that they're right there, so obvious and hidden, makes him smile, makes the hot/cold flashes and the pain and the temper worth it.

[dime_for_12]

actually, that last line is my favorite from this fic :DD