Tyranny
When i first moved to the UK, i thought that i was free from the tyranny of the Lizard. It was true. but in its place a more insidious force took over: Snails and Slugs.
My carefree days living on the 8th floor in London were replaced by a reign of terror when i moved onto ground floor flats, and of course, my very landed cottage. The snails come out at night, when it's drizzling or raining. The sickening crunch when you step on one of them is replaced by a wave of nausea when you realise what you've done. They are everywhere. I first became aware of their presence within the first month of moving to Aberdeen, when i stepped on one whilst leaving the house. And while texting Carter, telling him the horror of it all, i stepped on another one.
One night, Paraic and I decided to take a beautiful side lane home, but it had just rained, and then we discovered that we were surrounded by snails. We ran for our dear lives, but the crunch, crunch, crunch beneath us was not of gravel underfoot, but of these viscous monsters. The genocide lasted for more than 15 minutes, and afterwards i banished my shoes to the outside world for a month.
Sometimes i stand at my door and count them. Then they start moving towards me, and then towards my door. Like when you see a lizard on a hinge, those snails sit around on your door, daring you to open it, so that they would either be crushed or be allowed in.
Slugs are a new in the army of terror. They're not fat and juicy, but thin and slimy, soft, flaccid and long. Baby slugs are so small that you don't know that you've stepped on them until you feel a slight squish underfoot. They glisten. All of them glisten.
The pain.
I wish it would stop.
My carefree days living on the 8th floor in London were replaced by a reign of terror when i moved onto ground floor flats, and of course, my very landed cottage. The snails come out at night, when it's drizzling or raining. The sickening crunch when you step on one of them is replaced by a wave of nausea when you realise what you've done. They are everywhere. I first became aware of their presence within the first month of moving to Aberdeen, when i stepped on one whilst leaving the house. And while texting Carter, telling him the horror of it all, i stepped on another one.
One night, Paraic and I decided to take a beautiful side lane home, but it had just rained, and then we discovered that we were surrounded by snails. We ran for our dear lives, but the crunch, crunch, crunch beneath us was not of gravel underfoot, but of these viscous monsters. The genocide lasted for more than 15 minutes, and afterwards i banished my shoes to the outside world for a month.
Sometimes i stand at my door and count them. Then they start moving towards me, and then towards my door. Like when you see a lizard on a hinge, those snails sit around on your door, daring you to open it, so that they would either be crushed or be allowed in.
Slugs are a new in the army of terror. They're not fat and juicy, but thin and slimy, soft, flaccid and long. Baby slugs are so small that you don't know that you've stepped on them until you feel a slight squish underfoot. They glisten. All of them glisten.
The pain.
I wish it would stop.