Part 1 of Detailed report of pantomime "Cinderella" with John Barrowman and the Krankies in Glasgow
This report is a team work and I want to thank everyone who contributed by translating French, discussing Scottish history, explaining jokes I didn’t get, educating me on typical panto troops, identifying songs and last but not least spell-checking.
The linked pictures all belong to Liam Rudden and can be found on his Facebook page here:
https://www.facebook.com/liam.rudden.1/posts/10152424863462261
The show opened with the fairy flying in sitting on a half moon and introducing us to the story of Cinderella. She also sang a bit of a song which then got repeated as the final song of the first act. More about that later.
Link: Picture of the fairy
Then the curtain opened and we saw a village scene, with dancers and the first appearance of the Ugly Sisters, Sadie and Senga. Sadie was dressed in orange/brown fur and Senga in white/pink. And they sang the song Born this way by Lady Gaga. At the end two dogs (on wheels) were brought to them. It’s said that often dog owners and their dogs look alike. Well, it was very true in this case! I probably should add that those two were played by two men. It is a classic pantomime trope, having a man in drag. We did not have that in the previous years.
Link: Picture of Sadie and Senga
After the dancers left, Sadie and Senga had a bit of dialogue which ended with Senga saying “I’m taking my pooch for a piddle” and Sadie replied “I’m taking my shih tzu for a …” but after realizing that only a very bad word would rhyme with it she changed to “walk”. Sadie then asked what a shih tzu actually was? “A shit- zoo, a zoo with no animals!”
They introduced themselves as “the pretty sisters” which led to the first “Oh yes we are - oh no you’re not” of the evening. Many more would follow. They always ended with an “Aww - shut’yer face!”
Then they called for Cinderella. Her father was supposed to marry their mother. But they were very mean to Cinderella, even threatening her with a small spider called Boris. They promised to feed it so it would get bigger. Well, all I am saying - they kept that promise. You’ll see! Or rather, we saw.
After they left, the Krankies were next to come on stage. Ian was wheeling a cart with boxes on it, and apparently in former shows Janette was hidden inside and then came out, but one time she must have been stuck and they stopped doing that, so in the shows I saw, her head was already looking out of the crates.
Of course they talked about how happy they were to be back in the sexy center (SECC). Never gets old, that joke ;)
They also mentioned all the stuff that has happened throughout the year in Glasgow - the Commonwealth Games and a golf cup (Janette played nine holes and fell down in five) and of course the referendum.
Ian asked if she voted but she said how could she, she’s a ten year old school boy… but Ian said that it gets harder every year to pretend that ;)
This year, Ian was Baron Hardup, and Janette was Zip. The wee brother of Buttons. And that made them a couple of fly guys. While saying that, Zip opened and closed his - well, zip / fly a few times ;) By the way, where actually was Buttons? They called for him, and there was John, coming down from above in a hot air balloon. After it had landed, he grabbed the ropes and swung his legs over and out of the basket.
And all the while he was singing Happy by Pharrell Williams, the song of the year. The dancers were back as well and there was clapping and also some lovely bits of choreography in which John joined in. He also walked from one side of the stage to the other, greeting the audience and we shouted back. At the end of the song, all the dancers were lined up and John was walking behind them, giving each of them a slap on the bum. At the last matinee, they all were stumbling a few feet forward from that ;)
John then had his welcome speech, saying how glad he was to be back in Glasgow. In one show, he said “black” instead and had a good giggle about it. He then went to the one black dancer and added “He knows what it’s like to be black in Glasgow!”
He asked if we knew who he was. And corrected the assumption that he was John Barrowman. No, today he was Buttons! And every time he said “Hello everybody!” we were supposed to shout “Hiya Buttons!” He then asked if we knew why he was called Buttons. He never got many replies at that part so he shouted “This is the audience participation part!”
Link: Picture of John as Buttons
In the shows I was at, the audience participation was always pretty good, but the last show on Sunday evening, apparently everyone decided to really go for it and have a ball, it was a great ending on a very high note. So much shouting and clapping and whistling and dancing in the audience rows. Must have looked totally awesome from stage.
Buttons was called Buttons because that’s what he gets paid by Baron Hardup. Because he works for Baron Hardup at Hardup Hall. The first show I was at, John stumbled over this line which admittedly is a bit of a tongue twister, and he had to repeat it three times and slow down to get it right.
Oh, and he wanted to tell us a secret. A lot of wolf whistles from the audience for that one. He smiled and said “That hasn’t been a secret for a long while - and I’m proud of it!” (I probably should add that you have to imagine all of his lines in Glaswegian, not his usual American accent. So lovely!)
No, he wanted to tell us that he was in love with Cinderella - “Suspend your belief for one evening!”
And he had a gift wrapped up for her. A package, in fact. “There will be a lot more jokes like that in the show tonight!” No time like the present for a present, he wanted to give his package to Cinderella, and he put it on the side of the stage and advised us to shout for him whenever someone came for his package.
Of course we had to try this out then. So he pretended to steal his own parcel and we shouted, but he made us do it three times till he was satisfied. Then he left. Zip came and spotted the parcel immediately. So we shouted and Buttons was back. John was pretty much constantly on stage, apart from the few times they needed for a costume change. And he was always running and jumping around, full of energy. Two shows a day, three weeks with only three days off in all that time.
Anyway, now came a Buttons and Zip part or should I rather say a John and Janette part. They were happy to see each other again. John wanted to give her a high five but because of her size, you can imagine where her hand landed instead… He knelt down so his face was on the same level as hers, and they hugged.
Zip asked if the package was for him but Buttons said, no, it’s for Cinderella. And that he loves her and plans to marry her. Zip asked what it actually feels like when you are in love? John made a theatrical show of how his head spins, and how he gets warm, and how his stomach is doing somersaults… Zip’s dry reply was: “Do you have the skitters?” (for those that don’t know the word, you could also say diarrhea)
Zip said he never knows how to chat up a woman. But he was lucky because he has an older brother who is good at charming the women and happily shows him! One time John got a bit over excited with this line and put his hand on her front side, and she took it and put it back where it belonged ;)
Anyway, now Buttons showed how he chats up women. He picked one woman in first row and tried out his lines with her. Something like:
“Pass me the sugar, Sugar!”
“Pass me the sweet, my Sweet!”
“Pass me the honey, Honey!”
“Pass me the golden… Delicious!”
Since he needed a woman from the audience for that part, he never knew what would happen. These improvised things are always the best. The first show I was at, he got a French woman. She said to him "I'm French, so I'll pretend I'm not interested", but John just got the "I'm French" and thought she didn't understand him. It didn’t discourage him at all, he just changed to French and chatted her up in French! And then even Janette joined in. That was quite unexpected. I don’t know any French so I asked my French friends what exactly they said. Please don’t make me read it out loud for you ;) According to them, it went like this:
John: “Ecoutez et répétez, s'il vous plait” (Listen and repeat, please) then to Janette: “I bet you didn't get a word of what I said, did you?”
Janette: “Comment vous appelez-vous? Je m'appelle Janette” (What's your name? My name is Janette).
John: “Très bon, mon amie!” (very good, my friend)
Janette: “Fermez la bouche!” (Shut your mouth)
John: “No, no fermez la bouche!” (no, don't shut your mouth!)
Anyway, it was quite unexpected and also quite super sexy!
At the last matinee, he got a lady who slid down her chair the more she laughed, and John then told us what was so funny, as the rest of the audience could not see her: He had a line in his monologue about sitting on a table with fine china - and she was an Asian lady. After he recovered himself, he changed that line then to plastic cups ;)
Then he told Zip to have a try. First he should pick out a beautiful woman from the audience. Zip started at the right side and saw many beautiful women there, in the middle as well, but at the left - well, apparently nothing worth mentioning.
Buttons then apologized on behalf of his wee brother. And asked the offended lady where she was from. And then it got really, really interesting! Since the first few rows were in the hands of John Barrowman fans travelling from all over the world to see him, he had actually a hard time finding anyone from a close Scottish city. Sometimes he had to ask and search for very long! Some of his first tries had ladies from Ireland, Vienna, once even from Detroit! The longer he searched the more exasperated he became and finally asked if there was anyone from Scotland! A few hands flew up into the air and in one performance he even found a lady right from Glasgow. The whole audience cheered at that LOL
He needed a Scottish city for this joke to work: “Two things come out of Glasgow. The most beautiful voluptuous women, and the toughest ugliest roughest football team in the land!”
Zip then asked innocently, for which team she was playing? LOL Never gets old that joke.
Again Buttons gave a nice example how to do it right: “Pass me the coffee - mate!” Zip’s version of that was “Pass me the tea - bag!”
Buttons tried again with “Pass me the jelly - baby!” to which Zip replied “Pass me the apple - tart!” Buttons got more exasperated with him and told him that he can’t talk to a woman like that! One last try: “Pass me the chicken - you foxy chick!” Again Zip failed with “Pass me the beef you mad cow!”
Buttons gave up then and they left the stage, but Zip still had one more up his sleeve: “Pass me the bacon - you fat pig!”
Sadie and Senga came back on stage, and look, little Boris had grown a bit already! Of course they also spotted the present, and Buttons and Zip were back after the audience shouted loudly.
A lot of hate was flying around, but really, the sisters were so mean! One of them complained about the picture of a cow in her bedroom. Buttons said it was a mirror! And Zip asked what she would get for a face when King Kong wants his bum back LOL And then Zip found a fly in Sadie’s nose. Asked how she knew it was a fly, she replied: “Because snorters don’t have legs!”
Before Zip could get hit, Buttons took him and carried him to the other side of the stage. The fairy chose this exact moment to appear and everyone kinda froze in the way they just were. Well, the way they just were happened to be with John’s hands on Janette’s breasts. And thus nobody paid attention to the fairy’s monologue because everyone was giggling over his face when he felt around there and was clearly confused - and then him and Janette always had a great laugh about it. He also removed his hands once but then Janette put them back where they were before ;)
The fairy thought that Buttons probably could help her with Cinderella, so she decided to make herself visible to only him, but not the others. Which led to an interesting dialogue between Buttons and the fairy, but because Zip and the sisters could not see her, they always thought he was talking to them and he had to say repeatedly: “I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to her!” Zip was very offended when he was called a fairy ;)
After this scene ended, Cinderella came running on stage and also saw the present. Again we shouted for Buttons to come back. He also thought, no time like the present to give her his present! And he knelt down for his declaration of love. Well, he tried. He just couldn’t get the words out. “Cinderella, from the heart of my bottom, I mean from the bottom of my heart - I L-L-L-L-L-L-L…". poor guy! It would have been tragic hadn’t it been so funny. John really knows how to make faces.
Finally he gave up and started to sing instead. Listen to the music, a song originally by the Doobie brothers, but of course it also can be found on John’s newest CD.
I loved the dance moves with that one. I have no idea what they are called - it was a bit like a polka? His foot went up to his knee and then to the other side very quickly. I’ve tried and failed miserably, trying to recreate it later in the hotel room.
Also, whenever listening to the song, especially the line “Surrounding castles in the sky”, I have to think back to my visit in the recording studio, when Matt made John sing this line differently than he used to before, and this particular way will always remind me of that experience.
They needed a break for changing the stage, so Prince Charming and his servant Dandini were in front of the curtain, having a sword fight while talking about - stuff. I was always so fascinated about their fighting technique, that I never paid much attention to the dialogue. They were really good. In the beginning, the prince put his sword to the ground and then let it jump into his hand, and after saying “Show-off!” Dandini did the same! And there was a lot of twisting and turning, at one time they also swapped the swords by throwing them at each other - and catching them out of the air. Well, almost always, once the prince didn’t get it. It was a really convincing fight scene, whoever has choreographed it did a really good job.
The bits of dialogue I remember were about the prince wanting to marry a girl who did not just want him because he was the prince. And then he got the idea to swap places with Dandini as nobody actually knew his face.
The curtain opened again and we were in the woods now. Baron Hardup and Zip were walking in it. The baron told Zip that he will marry the mother of Sadie and Senga. Janette grinned and said: “You can’t marry her, you’re married to me!” Before it got too confusing, they got joined by Cinderella who was hiding in the woods from her stepsisters since they were so mean. The others tried to comfort her. Turned out, Sadie and Senga were at a beauty salon at the moment. But they had been gone for hours already! “What are they having done?”, asked Cinderella. “Just an estimate!”, replied Zip LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Zip also was in love with Cinderella and wanted to marry her, but she said that he was too wee! Which was a great excuse to have a solo number for Janette with the song “I’m wee”. In previous years, you always could purchase her songs afterwards from i-Tunes but this time they did not announce that and so far I have not been able to find anything.
Then Zip left to get some firewood. Buttons and Cinderella were alone on stage and he still hadn’t given her his present. And just when he tried to declare his love again the fairy chose this moment to turn up. Bad timing, really!
Buttons greeted the fairy with “Hairy Godfather” but she corrected him to “Fairy Godmother”. Yeah, that sounds much better. Again, Cinderella froze on the spot. Buttons commented that she looked “frozen” and suddenly John belted out a quick rendition of “Let it go, let it go…” from “Frozen”. I never got the second line as he mumbled it so quietly, but apparently it was not the original text, and must have been funny, because people laughed.
She decided to disguise herself as an auld woman. Buttons congratulated her on her outfit but she snarled “I haven’t done it yet!” Oops LOL
The fairy disappeared but again Buttons could not get the word “love” over his words. Poor guy was always stuck on the L. And then it was too late, because the fairy appeared, dressed in a brown coat with a large hood so you couldn’t see her face.
Cinderella asked Buttons to get the woman something to sit on, and he pushed over the stub Cinderella had sat on earlier. Then John grinned to the audience and declared “Biggest log I’ve ever pushed!” Because the old woman was freezing, Cinderella gave her shawl to warm her and she also wanted to feed her some bread since she was hungry, but Buttons said that the French bread from the basket was only a prop and he showed that it was just made from plastic.
Well, not at the last matinee. There it was indeed real bread, and he broke it into two pieces and shoved them into the fairy’s hands, and she had to do her whole dialogue then looking stupid with these things in her hands LOL
After everyone had left, Dandini and the prince happened to walk across, still on the search for a nice normal girl. What they found was Zip, dragging a tree behind him. He stumbled and ended up with his head in Dandini’s belly. First Dandini and then the prince lifted the little guy up, held him over their heads, turned and then set him down again, to get him out of their way. This was accompanied by a funny flute / swanee whistle. At the last matinee, Dandini held him longer in the air than usual, and instead of putting him down he passed him right over to the prince. It’s really not funny when you are so wee LOL
So, now Zip was at the right side of the two men, but the tree still was lying at the left side. He crawled through their legs, grabbed the tree and dragged, and was hitting some royal jewels while doing this, which gave another funny “boink” sound. Yeah, we were easily amused.
Oh no, the awful sisters were back now. Of course they were led to believe that Dandini was in fact the prince and they were overjoyed to meet a celebrity. Now comes a joke I needed explaining for. They called themselves ”A pair of WAGs". "WAGs" stands for "Wives And Girlfriends" (of footballers) - I thought it was wax, as in being wax in your hands. Well, worked for me too. They were dressed even more ridiculous this time. Senga was wearing a huge handbag with a handle, and Dandini asked "What's the tartan?". Senga misunderstood it as "What's the tart in?" and answered "A golf bag” (that’s what Sadie was wearing, there was even a golf club sticking out at the back LOL).
Dandini had to run away as he was hunted by the sisters. That left the real prince alone in the forest when Cinderella showed up. The prince almost slipped by introducing himself as “Prince Charming” but then caught himself in time and added “Prince Charming’s servant.” And he invited Cinderella to the Royal ball.
Now came one of the two scenes that had us always in stitches. It started pretty harmless with the prince and Cinderella sitting down at a small stone wall that had been standing around all time long. And the prince started to sing Everything I do (I do it for you) by Bryan Adams. We all know it from “Robin Hood” of course. Wrong show, but well.
It could have been lovely, had not Buttons come out at the side and you could see he didn’t like that at all. Since it was him being in love with Cinderella! So first he mocked the singing, also motioned as if he was going to be sick, and then he suddenly disappeared. But not for long. While the prince was singing his love song, suddenly Button’s head appeared from behind the wall in the middle between the two of them. The prince put his hand on it and pressed him down. The head turned up again, the prince tried to press it down again, but this time Buttons fought harder (and again John was making the funniest faces) but finally he had to give in.
Now he changed tactics. A small window opened between Cinderella’s legs and Button’s head was seen, looking up her skirt. He shrieked and disappeared, and then came out at the other side, between the prince’s legs. Who actually closed his legs and pressed down so Buttons was stuck and had to fight to get out again.
Again he changed tactics and now tried to get the prince down from the wall. He grabbed him from behind, and pulled, and the prince fell down on his back, legs in the air, disappearing behind the wall. In the meantime, Buttons was swinging his legs over the wall and sitting next to Cinderella. But the prince appeared again and now he pulled Buttons from the wall, and sat back on it. They repeated that a few times (it was during the part where there is no singing in the song).
Finally the prince sat in a different way and grabbed the wall, hard. No matter what Buttons tried, grabbing him from all angles, even the Royal jewels, he could not get him down again. But that did not bother him - he just got Cinderella down instead! With a loud shriek she disappeared, and now it was the prince and Buttons singing the love song to each other. Well, that’s quite a different take on the tale! They even almost kissed but Cinderella was not put down easily as well, she pulled at Buttons and the prince and they switched places a few times as well.
There was also a part where the prince climbed the wall to stand on it, triumphantly, while Buttons in the background suddenly started to do Wrestling moves and actually jumped on Cinderella who was still lying there! Then he snapped off a branch from somewhere and hit the prince’s legs. So he fell down hard, with one leg on each side of the wall, and yeah, ouch! In the last matinee, John then managed to re-arrange him so that he ended up with his face in John’s crotch ;)
But they were always back on the wall in time to sing the line they were supposed to sing. That was quite well choreographed!
In the end, all three were sitting there - at the left the prince, then Cinderella and at the right Buttons, singing all together, and then all falling down together, legs sticking up in the air, until the curtain closed. We exploded.
In front of the curtain, the prince, still disguised as servant, met with Baron Hardup and Zip and the sisters (who now were dressed in very colorful stripy - tube dresses?!?) and gave out his invitations for the ball.
Later Buttons reappeared as well, still dreaming of giving Cinderella an invitation and finally marrying her and living happily ever after. Zip was a bit put down by this. But John said “I can’t marry you!” And that he had to put up with this for five years now. And now he was an MBE! He got applause at that one, but then Janette asked what MBE stands for and before John could answer Ian said dryly: “Massive big ego” (the copyright for that phrase goes to Scott Gill, John’s husband ;) ) Janette still was not done yet and with a mischievous grin she added “He held the Queen’s baton”. And Ian added “He’s held a few…” This of course, referred to John proudly running with the baton in Glasgow before the Commonwealth Games started. As for the other meaning of the phrase, I’ll leave that to your naughty imagination ;)
They were finished with changing the setting behind the curtain, and when it rose, we saw Cinderella scrubbing the floor. She was a bit sad that she did not have an invitation. Zip was trying to consolate her by telling her that it might be too posh anyway, and that they would play a John Barrowman CD for the dance part.
John threw Janette from the stage after that one ;)
But Buttons had one of the golden invitations! While Cinderella still scrubbed the floor, he put it down next to his foot, and then started to slowly push it over to her. That meant, in the end he was doing a very wide split, and while he was still holding himself up with his hands on the table behind him, there was no way he was able to push himself up again. He was kinda stuck. Another opportunity for John to make funny faces ;) Thankfully he didn’t have to endure it for long, finally Cinderella found the invitation and was so happy about it, she slapped him on the back, so he fell forward and then could get up again.
All our pity for him vanished though when he replied to Cinderella’s “I’m speechless!” with “You’d make a good wife then!” Boooo! Actually, I did indeed hear a few boos LOL But it always needed a bit of time to sink in what he had just said, so it was always a bit belatedly, and sometimes John grinned and said: “Took you long enough.”
Then Button’s had a funny phrase: He wanted to dance at the ball till the cows came home. Cue Sadie and Senga coming back home. Buttons commented: “They’re here already!” and fled outside. Would have been better if he hadn’t, but there you go. The sisters accused Cinderella to have stolen the invitation. Another opportunity for “Oh yes she did - oh no she didn’t!”
Then they made her tear it up! And she did it! No matter how loudly we yelled, no matter how much we booed.
Of course Buttons only came back after they had left. He knelt next to Cinderella, picked up one of the torn pieces and suggested: “Just take this and go for half an hour!”
Cinderella was really sad, and Buttons wanted to cheer her up by having their own ball just right there! Honestly, you cannot stay sad for very long in Buttons’ / John’s presence! Now followed some funny antics. He said first she needs a dress. There was a table cloth on the table, with lots of tableware on it. Buttons took one end, you know, like a magician that is able to pull the cloth away with the cups and plates still standing on the table. Before I could get too impressed and wonder if there is no end to all the things one John Barrowman can do, he had already pulled - and it turned out, all the tableware was somewhat glued to the cloth so nothing tumbled down LOL - well, only in the last matinee one single cupcake fell down indeed ;)
He put the tablecloth away and took another similar cloth that was lying on the chair, folded up. Usually he only had to unfold it once or twice, but at the last matinee, they had folded it more neatly and he commented on that while he was working ;)
Then he put it around her shoulders and grabbed a sieve from the shelf to use it as a crown. While doing so, John suddenly sung a bit of Neal Sedaka’s “Calender Girl” but he changed it to “I love my Colander girl”. Finally she got a nice necklace, made from nine carrots (carats).
Then he asked her for a dance and held out his hand. She kissed it. He declared he would never wash that hand again, and quickly held out the other. She kissed that one as well. Finally he shook his whole body but the poor girl was lost on what he wanted now: “I had hoped to never take a bath again” LOOOOOOL
They sat next to each other on the table, swung their legs in rhythm with the music, and Buttons sang You to me are everything, originally by The Real Thing, but John has also sang it. Actually, this song will always remind me of my very first John Barrowman concert back in 2010, it was the second song in the show and I had no idea yet what the evening would bring or what to expect.
It's also THE earworm I have from this year's panto, still singing it after two weeks. John playing the original in his radio show last Sunday didn't exactly help either ;)
The song starts with
I would take the stars out of the sky for you
Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to
I'd do anything for you, your wish is my command
I could move a mountain when your hand is in my hand
John did illustrate those lines with his hands. When he sang from stars, he made a star with his forefingers and thumbs. When he sang about the rain, his fingers were doing the rain coming down. When he sang of her hand in his hand, he took her hand and then started to spin her around. Some lovely dance moves in that.
The one I loved most had him jump, with his leg high up in the air, kinda like the butterfly jumps he sometimes does, but in mid-air he turned and when he came down he was kneeling on one leg, and invited Cinderella to sit on his other leg. That looked so elegant and effortless.
Later in the song he put up a chair onto the table, helped Cinderella sit on it and sat himself in front of her, like a driver of a carriage.
Link: Picture of Cinderella and Buttons in the kitchen
Actually, the text of this song, although not altered in any way, fits quite well the situation of unrequited love for Buttons:
Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh baby, oh baby
To you I guess I'm just a clown
Who picks you up each time you're down
Oh baby, oh baby
You give me just a taste of love to build my hopes upon
You know you got the power boy to keep me holding on
So now you got the best of me
Come on and take the rest of me
Oh baby
After the song had ended he asked her whether she would like to sit by the fire with him for a while but she declined, said she’d rather be alone, having to think. Buttons made a very sad face at that and with a voice thick with emotion he said: “I really wanted you to go to the ball.” It was actually very touching. I mean, even though I know this is a lighthearted play, not Shakespeare and not being taken too serious, John managed to really touch me every time with this line. He just nails it!
Of course the audience awed for him, when he walked away. But there was hope yet - Cinderella called him back! He rushed back in, full of hope - and then she shattered his heart by just thanking him for being a friend to her. More Aws from us and then he was gone and Cinderella was left alone. But not for long, because the old woman - I mean the fairy - came back.
She finally revealed herself to Cinderella and when Cinderella said she did not have an invitation, the fairy let another one rain down from the sky. But in the last matinee, actually two of them fell down LOL
Then the fairy asked for a pumpkin and a mouse. The pumpkin was to be transferred into the carriage, and the mouse into the horse. Both things happened to lie around coincidentally and with a whisk of her wand the fairy managed to make the pumpkin glow and roll away!
Of course they needed a coachman to drive Cinderella to the ball. Suddenly Buttons stumbled back on stage, being called by the wand, and John was dressed in a very funny way: Wearing a night gown as well as a pointed hat, and he had a cute Teddy bear with him, wearing the same.
Link: Picture of the Teddy
Cinderella commented on him wearing his night suit, to which Buttons (with a very cheeky John Barrowman smile) replied: “You’re lucky I was not in my birthday suit!” Oh, the images.
At first Buttons did not want to be a coachman. But another wave of the wand and he marched out, chanting: “I AM A COACHMAN! YOU ARE A COACHMAN! WE ARE COACHMEN!” with his voice getting higher and higher but also sounding very - well, Dalek-like! Yes, he did sound exactly like a Dalek. So for those complaining there was no Dalek in the show this year - there he was ;)
The fairy now sang One night only. It’s from the musical “Dreamgirls” but guess what - I happen to have a John Barrowman video clip for you as well! Basically, John has sung everything LOL
At the last matinee, right after the scene where John had left the stage dressed in a night gown, when the dancers started to dance with Cinderella, also John and someone else (his understudy?) came out wearing one of these huge Tunnock teacakes we had seen at the Commonwealth Games opening show if you remember! And they danced around a bit like that. Too funny! Underneath this, John was still in his night gown but then they had to leave the scene so he could get changed.
Link: Picture of the Tunnock teacakes at the Commonwealth Games
The lyrics of the song were a bit altered of course, being about Cinderella having only one night at the ball. The dancers were back for this as well, swirling Cinderella around and even though I paid really close attention, the first time I did not see how she changed her ordinary dress to a more beautiful one. It was done in a real quick way. Awesome!
She was “Princess Starlight” this night. The fairy told her that she must leave the ball at midnight because then the magic will be gone. Then she called for Buttons to come. He wore a very red costume, being dressed as coachman! He commented on it sometimes with “I look like a letter box”, other times he said “post box”. Anyway, it was really, really red.
At the back of the stage, a beautiful carriage appeared, with a white horse in front, and it moved slowly closer. Buttons started to sing a song with the title “The power of love must shine through” but none of us has been able to identify it. We guess it must have been written especially for the show, because the text was very specific, I remember one line about Cinderella being treated like a servant by her sisters. The melody was very powerful.
While singing, Buttons helped Cinderella into the carriage. Then - I have been told this part because I never got to see it - when he turned, his hands somehow were throwing out snowflakes. The guess is, that it were pieces of tissues which he let blow away from a fan. I have no idea why they stopped doing that and would have loved to see it, but at least I have a picture from the press night and if you look closely you can see it there.
Link: Picture of Cinderella in the carriage and Buttons making snow
Those snowflakes were joined by a snow storm coming from the ceiling LOL The whole audience got covered in thick (soapy) snowflakes. It was a beautiful sight.
Finally Buttons got on the back end of the carriage and it was starting to rise into the sky.
That was it, that was the last song before the break.
See you later for act two! Now please excuse me, I have to rush to the toilet before the lines grow too long.
Link to part 2
Link to my stage door selfie with John Barrowman
The linked pictures all belong to Liam Rudden and can be found on his Facebook page here:
https://www.facebook.com/liam.rudden.1/posts/10152424863462261
The show opened with the fairy flying in sitting on a half moon and introducing us to the story of Cinderella. She also sang a bit of a song which then got repeated as the final song of the first act. More about that later.
Link: Picture of the fairy
Then the curtain opened and we saw a village scene, with dancers and the first appearance of the Ugly Sisters, Sadie and Senga. Sadie was dressed in orange/brown fur and Senga in white/pink. And they sang the song Born this way by Lady Gaga. At the end two dogs (on wheels) were brought to them. It’s said that often dog owners and their dogs look alike. Well, it was very true in this case! I probably should add that those two were played by two men. It is a classic pantomime trope, having a man in drag. We did not have that in the previous years.
Link: Picture of Sadie and Senga
After the dancers left, Sadie and Senga had a bit of dialogue which ended with Senga saying “I’m taking my pooch for a piddle” and Sadie replied “I’m taking my shih tzu for a …” but after realizing that only a very bad word would rhyme with it she changed to “walk”. Sadie then asked what a shih tzu actually was? “A shit- zoo, a zoo with no animals!”
They introduced themselves as “the pretty sisters” which led to the first “Oh yes we are - oh no you’re not” of the evening. Many more would follow. They always ended with an “Aww - shut’yer face!”
Then they called for Cinderella. Her father was supposed to marry their mother. But they were very mean to Cinderella, even threatening her with a small spider called Boris. They promised to feed it so it would get bigger. Well, all I am saying - they kept that promise. You’ll see! Or rather, we saw.
After they left, the Krankies were next to come on stage. Ian was wheeling a cart with boxes on it, and apparently in former shows Janette was hidden inside and then came out, but one time she must have been stuck and they stopped doing that, so in the shows I saw, her head was already looking out of the crates.
Of course they talked about how happy they were to be back in the sexy center (SECC). Never gets old, that joke ;)
They also mentioned all the stuff that has happened throughout the year in Glasgow - the Commonwealth Games and a golf cup (Janette played nine holes and fell down in five) and of course the referendum.
Ian asked if she voted but she said how could she, she’s a ten year old school boy… but Ian said that it gets harder every year to pretend that ;)
This year, Ian was Baron Hardup, and Janette was Zip. The wee brother of Buttons. And that made them a couple of fly guys. While saying that, Zip opened and closed his - well, zip / fly a few times ;) By the way, where actually was Buttons? They called for him, and there was John, coming down from above in a hot air balloon. After it had landed, he grabbed the ropes and swung his legs over and out of the basket.
And all the while he was singing Happy by Pharrell Williams, the song of the year. The dancers were back as well and there was clapping and also some lovely bits of choreography in which John joined in. He also walked from one side of the stage to the other, greeting the audience and we shouted back. At the end of the song, all the dancers were lined up and John was walking behind them, giving each of them a slap on the bum. At the last matinee, they all were stumbling a few feet forward from that ;)
John then had his welcome speech, saying how glad he was to be back in Glasgow. In one show, he said “black” instead and had a good giggle about it. He then went to the one black dancer and added “He knows what it’s like to be black in Glasgow!”
He asked if we knew who he was. And corrected the assumption that he was John Barrowman. No, today he was Buttons! And every time he said “Hello everybody!” we were supposed to shout “Hiya Buttons!” He then asked if we knew why he was called Buttons. He never got many replies at that part so he shouted “This is the audience participation part!”
Link: Picture of John as Buttons
In the shows I was at, the audience participation was always pretty good, but the last show on Sunday evening, apparently everyone decided to really go for it and have a ball, it was a great ending on a very high note. So much shouting and clapping and whistling and dancing in the audience rows. Must have looked totally awesome from stage.
Buttons was called Buttons because that’s what he gets paid by Baron Hardup. Because he works for Baron Hardup at Hardup Hall. The first show I was at, John stumbled over this line which admittedly is a bit of a tongue twister, and he had to repeat it three times and slow down to get it right.
Oh, and he wanted to tell us a secret. A lot of wolf whistles from the audience for that one. He smiled and said “That hasn’t been a secret for a long while - and I’m proud of it!” (I probably should add that you have to imagine all of his lines in Glaswegian, not his usual American accent. So lovely!)
No, he wanted to tell us that he was in love with Cinderella - “Suspend your belief for one evening!”
And he had a gift wrapped up for her. A package, in fact. “There will be a lot more jokes like that in the show tonight!” No time like the present for a present, he wanted to give his package to Cinderella, and he put it on the side of the stage and advised us to shout for him whenever someone came for his package.
Of course we had to try this out then. So he pretended to steal his own parcel and we shouted, but he made us do it three times till he was satisfied. Then he left. Zip came and spotted the parcel immediately. So we shouted and Buttons was back. John was pretty much constantly on stage, apart from the few times they needed for a costume change. And he was always running and jumping around, full of energy. Two shows a day, three weeks with only three days off in all that time.
Anyway, now came a Buttons and Zip part or should I rather say a John and Janette part. They were happy to see each other again. John wanted to give her a high five but because of her size, you can imagine where her hand landed instead… He knelt down so his face was on the same level as hers, and they hugged.
Zip asked if the package was for him but Buttons said, no, it’s for Cinderella. And that he loves her and plans to marry her. Zip asked what it actually feels like when you are in love? John made a theatrical show of how his head spins, and how he gets warm, and how his stomach is doing somersaults… Zip’s dry reply was: “Do you have the skitters?” (for those that don’t know the word, you could also say diarrhea)
Zip said he never knows how to chat up a woman. But he was lucky because he has an older brother who is good at charming the women and happily shows him! One time John got a bit over excited with this line and put his hand on her front side, and she took it and put it back where it belonged ;)
Anyway, now Buttons showed how he chats up women. He picked one woman in first row and tried out his lines with her. Something like:
“Pass me the sugar, Sugar!”
“Pass me the sweet, my Sweet!”
“Pass me the honey, Honey!”
“Pass me the golden… Delicious!”
Since he needed a woman from the audience for that part, he never knew what would happen. These improvised things are always the best. The first show I was at, he got a French woman. She said to him "I'm French, so I'll pretend I'm not interested", but John just got the "I'm French" and thought she didn't understand him. It didn’t discourage him at all, he just changed to French and chatted her up in French! And then even Janette joined in. That was quite unexpected. I don’t know any French so I asked my French friends what exactly they said. Please don’t make me read it out loud for you ;) According to them, it went like this:
John: “Ecoutez et répétez, s'il vous plait” (Listen and repeat, please) then to Janette: “I bet you didn't get a word of what I said, did you?”
Janette: “Comment vous appelez-vous? Je m'appelle Janette” (What's your name? My name is Janette).
John: “Très bon, mon amie!” (very good, my friend)
Janette: “Fermez la bouche!” (Shut your mouth)
John: “No, no fermez la bouche!” (no, don't shut your mouth!)
Anyway, it was quite unexpected and also quite super sexy!
At the last matinee, he got a lady who slid down her chair the more she laughed, and John then told us what was so funny, as the rest of the audience could not see her: He had a line in his monologue about sitting on a table with fine china - and she was an Asian lady. After he recovered himself, he changed that line then to plastic cups ;)
Then he told Zip to have a try. First he should pick out a beautiful woman from the audience. Zip started at the right side and saw many beautiful women there, in the middle as well, but at the left - well, apparently nothing worth mentioning.
Buttons then apologized on behalf of his wee brother. And asked the offended lady where she was from. And then it got really, really interesting! Since the first few rows were in the hands of John Barrowman fans travelling from all over the world to see him, he had actually a hard time finding anyone from a close Scottish city. Sometimes he had to ask and search for very long! Some of his first tries had ladies from Ireland, Vienna, once even from Detroit! The longer he searched the more exasperated he became and finally asked if there was anyone from Scotland! A few hands flew up into the air and in one performance he even found a lady right from Glasgow. The whole audience cheered at that LOL
He needed a Scottish city for this joke to work: “Two things come out of Glasgow. The most beautiful voluptuous women, and the toughest ugliest roughest football team in the land!”
Zip then asked innocently, for which team she was playing? LOL Never gets old that joke.
Again Buttons gave a nice example how to do it right: “Pass me the coffee - mate!” Zip’s version of that was “Pass me the tea - bag!”
Buttons tried again with “Pass me the jelly - baby!” to which Zip replied “Pass me the apple - tart!” Buttons got more exasperated with him and told him that he can’t talk to a woman like that! One last try: “Pass me the chicken - you foxy chick!” Again Zip failed with “Pass me the beef you mad cow!”
Buttons gave up then and they left the stage, but Zip still had one more up his sleeve: “Pass me the bacon - you fat pig!”
Sadie and Senga came back on stage, and look, little Boris had grown a bit already! Of course they also spotted the present, and Buttons and Zip were back after the audience shouted loudly.
A lot of hate was flying around, but really, the sisters were so mean! One of them complained about the picture of a cow in her bedroom. Buttons said it was a mirror! And Zip asked what she would get for a face when King Kong wants his bum back LOL And then Zip found a fly in Sadie’s nose. Asked how she knew it was a fly, she replied: “Because snorters don’t have legs!”
Before Zip could get hit, Buttons took him and carried him to the other side of the stage. The fairy chose this exact moment to appear and everyone kinda froze in the way they just were. Well, the way they just were happened to be with John’s hands on Janette’s breasts. And thus nobody paid attention to the fairy’s monologue because everyone was giggling over his face when he felt around there and was clearly confused - and then him and Janette always had a great laugh about it. He also removed his hands once but then Janette put them back where they were before ;)
The fairy thought that Buttons probably could help her with Cinderella, so she decided to make herself visible to only him, but not the others. Which led to an interesting dialogue between Buttons and the fairy, but because Zip and the sisters could not see her, they always thought he was talking to them and he had to say repeatedly: “I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to her!” Zip was very offended when he was called a fairy ;)
After this scene ended, Cinderella came running on stage and also saw the present. Again we shouted for Buttons to come back. He also thought, no time like the present to give her his present! And he knelt down for his declaration of love. Well, he tried. He just couldn’t get the words out. “Cinderella, from the heart of my bottom, I mean from the bottom of my heart - I L-L-L-L-L-L-L…". poor guy! It would have been tragic hadn’t it been so funny. John really knows how to make faces.
Finally he gave up and started to sing instead. Listen to the music, a song originally by the Doobie brothers, but of course it also can be found on John’s newest CD.
I loved the dance moves with that one. I have no idea what they are called - it was a bit like a polka? His foot went up to his knee and then to the other side very quickly. I’ve tried and failed miserably, trying to recreate it later in the hotel room.
Also, whenever listening to the song, especially the line “Surrounding castles in the sky”, I have to think back to my visit in the recording studio, when Matt made John sing this line differently than he used to before, and this particular way will always remind me of that experience.
They needed a break for changing the stage, so Prince Charming and his servant Dandini were in front of the curtain, having a sword fight while talking about - stuff. I was always so fascinated about their fighting technique, that I never paid much attention to the dialogue. They were really good. In the beginning, the prince put his sword to the ground and then let it jump into his hand, and after saying “Show-off!” Dandini did the same! And there was a lot of twisting and turning, at one time they also swapped the swords by throwing them at each other - and catching them out of the air. Well, almost always, once the prince didn’t get it. It was a really convincing fight scene, whoever has choreographed it did a really good job.
The bits of dialogue I remember were about the prince wanting to marry a girl who did not just want him because he was the prince. And then he got the idea to swap places with Dandini as nobody actually knew his face.
The curtain opened again and we were in the woods now. Baron Hardup and Zip were walking in it. The baron told Zip that he will marry the mother of Sadie and Senga. Janette grinned and said: “You can’t marry her, you’re married to me!” Before it got too confusing, they got joined by Cinderella who was hiding in the woods from her stepsisters since they were so mean. The others tried to comfort her. Turned out, Sadie and Senga were at a beauty salon at the moment. But they had been gone for hours already! “What are they having done?”, asked Cinderella. “Just an estimate!”, replied Zip LOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
Zip also was in love with Cinderella and wanted to marry her, but she said that he was too wee! Which was a great excuse to have a solo number for Janette with the song “I’m wee”. In previous years, you always could purchase her songs afterwards from i-Tunes but this time they did not announce that and so far I have not been able to find anything.
Then Zip left to get some firewood. Buttons and Cinderella were alone on stage and he still hadn’t given her his present. And just when he tried to declare his love again the fairy chose this moment to turn up. Bad timing, really!
Buttons greeted the fairy with “Hairy Godfather” but she corrected him to “Fairy Godmother”. Yeah, that sounds much better. Again, Cinderella froze on the spot. Buttons commented that she looked “frozen” and suddenly John belted out a quick rendition of “Let it go, let it go…” from “Frozen”. I never got the second line as he mumbled it so quietly, but apparently it was not the original text, and must have been funny, because people laughed.
She decided to disguise herself as an auld woman. Buttons congratulated her on her outfit but she snarled “I haven’t done it yet!” Oops LOL
The fairy disappeared but again Buttons could not get the word “love” over his words. Poor guy was always stuck on the L. And then it was too late, because the fairy appeared, dressed in a brown coat with a large hood so you couldn’t see her face.
Cinderella asked Buttons to get the woman something to sit on, and he pushed over the stub Cinderella had sat on earlier. Then John grinned to the audience and declared “Biggest log I’ve ever pushed!” Because the old woman was freezing, Cinderella gave her shawl to warm her and she also wanted to feed her some bread since she was hungry, but Buttons said that the French bread from the basket was only a prop and he showed that it was just made from plastic.
Well, not at the last matinee. There it was indeed real bread, and he broke it into two pieces and shoved them into the fairy’s hands, and she had to do her whole dialogue then looking stupid with these things in her hands LOL
After everyone had left, Dandini and the prince happened to walk across, still on the search for a nice normal girl. What they found was Zip, dragging a tree behind him. He stumbled and ended up with his head in Dandini’s belly. First Dandini and then the prince lifted the little guy up, held him over their heads, turned and then set him down again, to get him out of their way. This was accompanied by a funny flute / swanee whistle. At the last matinee, Dandini held him longer in the air than usual, and instead of putting him down he passed him right over to the prince. It’s really not funny when you are so wee LOL
So, now Zip was at the right side of the two men, but the tree still was lying at the left side. He crawled through their legs, grabbed the tree and dragged, and was hitting some royal jewels while doing this, which gave another funny “boink” sound. Yeah, we were easily amused.
Oh no, the awful sisters were back now. Of course they were led to believe that Dandini was in fact the prince and they were overjoyed to meet a celebrity. Now comes a joke I needed explaining for. They called themselves ”A pair of WAGs". "WAGs" stands for "Wives And Girlfriends" (of footballers) - I thought it was wax, as in being wax in your hands. Well, worked for me too. They were dressed even more ridiculous this time. Senga was wearing a huge handbag with a handle, and Dandini asked "What's the tartan?". Senga misunderstood it as "What's the tart in?" and answered "A golf bag” (that’s what Sadie was wearing, there was even a golf club sticking out at the back LOL).
Dandini had to run away as he was hunted by the sisters. That left the real prince alone in the forest when Cinderella showed up. The prince almost slipped by introducing himself as “Prince Charming” but then caught himself in time and added “Prince Charming’s servant.” And he invited Cinderella to the Royal ball.
Now came one of the two scenes that had us always in stitches. It started pretty harmless with the prince and Cinderella sitting down at a small stone wall that had been standing around all time long. And the prince started to sing Everything I do (I do it for you) by Bryan Adams. We all know it from “Robin Hood” of course. Wrong show, but well.
It could have been lovely, had not Buttons come out at the side and you could see he didn’t like that at all. Since it was him being in love with Cinderella! So first he mocked the singing, also motioned as if he was going to be sick, and then he suddenly disappeared. But not for long. While the prince was singing his love song, suddenly Button’s head appeared from behind the wall in the middle between the two of them. The prince put his hand on it and pressed him down. The head turned up again, the prince tried to press it down again, but this time Buttons fought harder (and again John was making the funniest faces) but finally he had to give in.
Now he changed tactics. A small window opened between Cinderella’s legs and Button’s head was seen, looking up her skirt. He shrieked and disappeared, and then came out at the other side, between the prince’s legs. Who actually closed his legs and pressed down so Buttons was stuck and had to fight to get out again.
Again he changed tactics and now tried to get the prince down from the wall. He grabbed him from behind, and pulled, and the prince fell down on his back, legs in the air, disappearing behind the wall. In the meantime, Buttons was swinging his legs over the wall and sitting next to Cinderella. But the prince appeared again and now he pulled Buttons from the wall, and sat back on it. They repeated that a few times (it was during the part where there is no singing in the song).
Finally the prince sat in a different way and grabbed the wall, hard. No matter what Buttons tried, grabbing him from all angles, even the Royal jewels, he could not get him down again. But that did not bother him - he just got Cinderella down instead! With a loud shriek she disappeared, and now it was the prince and Buttons singing the love song to each other. Well, that’s quite a different take on the tale! They even almost kissed but Cinderella was not put down easily as well, she pulled at Buttons and the prince and they switched places a few times as well.
There was also a part where the prince climbed the wall to stand on it, triumphantly, while Buttons in the background suddenly started to do Wrestling moves and actually jumped on Cinderella who was still lying there! Then he snapped off a branch from somewhere and hit the prince’s legs. So he fell down hard, with one leg on each side of the wall, and yeah, ouch! In the last matinee, John then managed to re-arrange him so that he ended up with his face in John’s crotch ;)
But they were always back on the wall in time to sing the line they were supposed to sing. That was quite well choreographed!
In the end, all three were sitting there - at the left the prince, then Cinderella and at the right Buttons, singing all together, and then all falling down together, legs sticking up in the air, until the curtain closed. We exploded.
In front of the curtain, the prince, still disguised as servant, met with Baron Hardup and Zip and the sisters (who now were dressed in very colorful stripy - tube dresses?!?) and gave out his invitations for the ball.
Later Buttons reappeared as well, still dreaming of giving Cinderella an invitation and finally marrying her and living happily ever after. Zip was a bit put down by this. But John said “I can’t marry you!” And that he had to put up with this for five years now. And now he was an MBE! He got applause at that one, but then Janette asked what MBE stands for and before John could answer Ian said dryly: “Massive big ego” (the copyright for that phrase goes to Scott Gill, John’s husband ;) ) Janette still was not done yet and with a mischievous grin she added “He held the Queen’s baton”. And Ian added “He’s held a few…” This of course, referred to John proudly running with the baton in Glasgow before the Commonwealth Games started. As for the other meaning of the phrase, I’ll leave that to your naughty imagination ;)
They were finished with changing the setting behind the curtain, and when it rose, we saw Cinderella scrubbing the floor. She was a bit sad that she did not have an invitation. Zip was trying to consolate her by telling her that it might be too posh anyway, and that they would play a John Barrowman CD for the dance part.
John threw Janette from the stage after that one ;)
But Buttons had one of the golden invitations! While Cinderella still scrubbed the floor, he put it down next to his foot, and then started to slowly push it over to her. That meant, in the end he was doing a very wide split, and while he was still holding himself up with his hands on the table behind him, there was no way he was able to push himself up again. He was kinda stuck. Another opportunity for John to make funny faces ;) Thankfully he didn’t have to endure it for long, finally Cinderella found the invitation and was so happy about it, she slapped him on the back, so he fell forward and then could get up again.
All our pity for him vanished though when he replied to Cinderella’s “I’m speechless!” with “You’d make a good wife then!” Boooo! Actually, I did indeed hear a few boos LOL But it always needed a bit of time to sink in what he had just said, so it was always a bit belatedly, and sometimes John grinned and said: “Took you long enough.”
Then Button’s had a funny phrase: He wanted to dance at the ball till the cows came home. Cue Sadie and Senga coming back home. Buttons commented: “They’re here already!” and fled outside. Would have been better if he hadn’t, but there you go. The sisters accused Cinderella to have stolen the invitation. Another opportunity for “Oh yes she did - oh no she didn’t!”
Then they made her tear it up! And she did it! No matter how loudly we yelled, no matter how much we booed.
Of course Buttons only came back after they had left. He knelt next to Cinderella, picked up one of the torn pieces and suggested: “Just take this and go for half an hour!”
Cinderella was really sad, and Buttons wanted to cheer her up by having their own ball just right there! Honestly, you cannot stay sad for very long in Buttons’ / John’s presence! Now followed some funny antics. He said first she needs a dress. There was a table cloth on the table, with lots of tableware on it. Buttons took one end, you know, like a magician that is able to pull the cloth away with the cups and plates still standing on the table. Before I could get too impressed and wonder if there is no end to all the things one John Barrowman can do, he had already pulled - and it turned out, all the tableware was somewhat glued to the cloth so nothing tumbled down LOL - well, only in the last matinee one single cupcake fell down indeed ;)
He put the tablecloth away and took another similar cloth that was lying on the chair, folded up. Usually he only had to unfold it once or twice, but at the last matinee, they had folded it more neatly and he commented on that while he was working ;)
Then he put it around her shoulders and grabbed a sieve from the shelf to use it as a crown. While doing so, John suddenly sung a bit of Neal Sedaka’s “Calender Girl” but he changed it to “I love my Colander girl”. Finally she got a nice necklace, made from nine carrots (carats).
Then he asked her for a dance and held out his hand. She kissed it. He declared he would never wash that hand again, and quickly held out the other. She kissed that one as well. Finally he shook his whole body but the poor girl was lost on what he wanted now: “I had hoped to never take a bath again” LOOOOOOL
They sat next to each other on the table, swung their legs in rhythm with the music, and Buttons sang You to me are everything, originally by The Real Thing, but John has also sang it. Actually, this song will always remind me of my very first John Barrowman concert back in 2010, it was the second song in the show and I had no idea yet what the evening would bring or what to expect.
It's also THE earworm I have from this year's panto, still singing it after two weeks. John playing the original in his radio show last Sunday didn't exactly help either ;)
The song starts with
I would take the stars out of the sky for you
Stop the rain from falling if you asked me to
I'd do anything for you, your wish is my command
I could move a mountain when your hand is in my hand
John did illustrate those lines with his hands. When he sang from stars, he made a star with his forefingers and thumbs. When he sang about the rain, his fingers were doing the rain coming down. When he sang of her hand in his hand, he took her hand and then started to spin her around. Some lovely dance moves in that.
The one I loved most had him jump, with his leg high up in the air, kinda like the butterfly jumps he sometimes does, but in mid-air he turned and when he came down he was kneeling on one leg, and invited Cinderella to sit on his other leg. That looked so elegant and effortless.
Later in the song he put up a chair onto the table, helped Cinderella sit on it and sat himself in front of her, like a driver of a carriage.
Link: Picture of Cinderella and Buttons in the kitchen
Actually, the text of this song, although not altered in any way, fits quite well the situation of unrequited love for Buttons:
Oh you to me are everything
The sweetest song that I could sing
Oh baby, oh baby
To you I guess I'm just a clown
Who picks you up each time you're down
Oh baby, oh baby
You give me just a taste of love to build my hopes upon
You know you got the power boy to keep me holding on
So now you got the best of me
Come on and take the rest of me
Oh baby
After the song had ended he asked her whether she would like to sit by the fire with him for a while but she declined, said she’d rather be alone, having to think. Buttons made a very sad face at that and with a voice thick with emotion he said: “I really wanted you to go to the ball.” It was actually very touching. I mean, even though I know this is a lighthearted play, not Shakespeare and not being taken too serious, John managed to really touch me every time with this line. He just nails it!
Of course the audience awed for him, when he walked away. But there was hope yet - Cinderella called him back! He rushed back in, full of hope - and then she shattered his heart by just thanking him for being a friend to her. More Aws from us and then he was gone and Cinderella was left alone. But not for long, because the old woman - I mean the fairy - came back.
She finally revealed herself to Cinderella and when Cinderella said she did not have an invitation, the fairy let another one rain down from the sky. But in the last matinee, actually two of them fell down LOL
Then the fairy asked for a pumpkin and a mouse. The pumpkin was to be transferred into the carriage, and the mouse into the horse. Both things happened to lie around coincidentally and with a whisk of her wand the fairy managed to make the pumpkin glow and roll away!
Of course they needed a coachman to drive Cinderella to the ball. Suddenly Buttons stumbled back on stage, being called by the wand, and John was dressed in a very funny way: Wearing a night gown as well as a pointed hat, and he had a cute Teddy bear with him, wearing the same.
Link: Picture of the Teddy
Cinderella commented on him wearing his night suit, to which Buttons (with a very cheeky John Barrowman smile) replied: “You’re lucky I was not in my birthday suit!” Oh, the images.
At first Buttons did not want to be a coachman. But another wave of the wand and he marched out, chanting: “I AM A COACHMAN! YOU ARE A COACHMAN! WE ARE COACHMEN!” with his voice getting higher and higher but also sounding very - well, Dalek-like! Yes, he did sound exactly like a Dalek. So for those complaining there was no Dalek in the show this year - there he was ;)
The fairy now sang One night only. It’s from the musical “Dreamgirls” but guess what - I happen to have a John Barrowman video clip for you as well! Basically, John has sung everything LOL
At the last matinee, right after the scene where John had left the stage dressed in a night gown, when the dancers started to dance with Cinderella, also John and someone else (his understudy?) came out wearing one of these huge Tunnock teacakes we had seen at the Commonwealth Games opening show if you remember! And they danced around a bit like that. Too funny! Underneath this, John was still in his night gown but then they had to leave the scene so he could get changed.
Link: Picture of the Tunnock teacakes at the Commonwealth Games
The lyrics of the song were a bit altered of course, being about Cinderella having only one night at the ball. The dancers were back for this as well, swirling Cinderella around and even though I paid really close attention, the first time I did not see how she changed her ordinary dress to a more beautiful one. It was done in a real quick way. Awesome!
She was “Princess Starlight” this night. The fairy told her that she must leave the ball at midnight because then the magic will be gone. Then she called for Buttons to come. He wore a very red costume, being dressed as coachman! He commented on it sometimes with “I look like a letter box”, other times he said “post box”. Anyway, it was really, really red.
At the back of the stage, a beautiful carriage appeared, with a white horse in front, and it moved slowly closer. Buttons started to sing a song with the title “The power of love must shine through” but none of us has been able to identify it. We guess it must have been written especially for the show, because the text was very specific, I remember one line about Cinderella being treated like a servant by her sisters. The melody was very powerful.
While singing, Buttons helped Cinderella into the carriage. Then - I have been told this part because I never got to see it - when he turned, his hands somehow were throwing out snowflakes. The guess is, that it were pieces of tissues which he let blow away from a fan. I have no idea why they stopped doing that and would have loved to see it, but at least I have a picture from the press night and if you look closely you can see it there.
Link: Picture of Cinderella in the carriage and Buttons making snow
Those snowflakes were joined by a snow storm coming from the ceiling LOL The whole audience got covered in thick (soapy) snowflakes. It was a beautiful sight.
Finally Buttons got on the back end of the carriage and it was starting to rise into the sky.
That was it, that was the last song before the break.
See you later for act two! Now please excuse me, I have to rush to the toilet before the lines grow too long.
Link to part 2
Link to my stage door selfie with John Barrowman
