What Could Have Been: "Aphrodisiac (Original, Unedited) [Final Fantasy VII, Cloud x Tifa, NC-17]

[diane_b_taylor]

A/N: What could have been for this particular prompt at springkink . If you'd like to read the one posted to springkink , it's here.

Comments

[vampslyr]

This is much better than the one you posted on Kink Fest, and not just because it's more graphic. The situation is much more well thought out, with more character interaction. In this one it makes sense why Cloud's worried about making Tifa 'dirty' because we get a glimpse of his thoughts and know that this is their first time together. It's also easier to make a connection with the characters since we get a feel for what Cloud's experiencing. Plus, Tifa's responses in the restroom flow better than the ones in the bedroom of the posted story.

Also, I think your worry that it's overly animalistic is unfounded. Animalistic would involve Cloud banging her against the restroom wall the moment she came in. Which has it's own appeal when well written. In short, don't worry about it, go with your first instincts and post this. The only change I'd make would be to have Tifa be more threatening on the phone with Yuffie. More of a 'I'll kick you so hard the Northern Crater will look like a pot hole.' She deserves it.

[diane_b_taylor]

Good point! I suspect that, in the future, I'll meld the two entries together and try to make things flow more smoothly in both. I had this weird feeling that something was off in the one I posted to SpringKink, but I'm an insider looking in from the inside, if that makes sense. There are some things I'm bound to miss.

Thank you - I'm ultra-sensitive about animalistic, and it was good to hear that it wasn't as bad as I thought.

I really appreciate your taking the time to read both entries and review them!