One’s Self Less; Less One’s Self

Mar 26, 2009 21:50


Something longer than 400 words!?! WHAT!? And yet, still not quite 1000. *headdesk*

But whee for finally writing something! 101_kisses
Genre: Drama/Angst
Rating: R

They’re both too weak, not to punish )

venus, kunzite

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Comments 21

bianca_fiore March 27 2009, 05:00:40 UTC
It does not matter if it was smut, it was beautiful. This was so tragic. I would love to see more set in this universe, maybe with the other senshi.

I still am reeling. This was wonderful.

Write more soon, ok?

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dhoney March 28 2009, 03:42:53 UTC
Thank you! I don't even know if I meant to make it out as angsty as people read it.

I've thought about the other senshi - but to be honest, it's always hard for me to put them all in the same universe w/o losing originality, but I do have some ideas, so we'll see.

Aw, with feedback like yours, how could I want to stop?

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venusorbit1 March 27 2009, 05:34:29 UTC
So, she punished herself with sex that she wanted to hate with a man she couldn’t hate in a place that had saved only after it destroyed.
Kunzite was there to oblige. He never wondered why he did it. He just
saw it as one last way to help her get what she wanted.
It made it easier to hate himself for everything else he’d done.
<---pretty much killed me.

This is fucking incredible. I'm seriously...like...shocked and just sitting here and can barely move. And I have so many questions that I want to ask: What happened? Why is Venus no longer a Senshi and apparently a madam? Did the Moon Kingdom fall but no one die? What HAPPENED? I know you don't like epics but damn, this is freaking incredibly compelling and you're such a great writer that you would absolutely KILL in that area.

He just
saw it as one last way to help her get what she wanted. Which is? Oh god I'm so depressed right now. I NEED someone to rescue Venus. Her situation is just so. damn. sad!

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dhoney March 28 2009, 03:47:32 UTC
Are you a glass case of emotion? ;P

On the nose, V. Moon Kingdom went bye-bye, but senshi lived, just stripped of their powers. Without wondering about the logistics of it, civilians of other planets have been relocated to Earth.

I (obviously) didn't convey it properly, but I meant to say that the only thing she wanted was to punish herself, & he was helping her do that by doing what they do. To be honest, I don't know that there's any rescuing her. She's given up on herself. What could anyone else do?

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venusorbit1 March 28 2009, 04:54:48 UTC
Of course! You always put me in glass cages of emotion! BAXTER!!!

That is a totally original idea and I love it. Fucka could at least buy her dinner.

Anyway, I have to go read your backseat smut to get some happy going, you emotional blockbuster, you!

Oh great never mind just read your ff.net entry and now I want to force-feed Kiyoshi antidepressants.

Never stop being awesome b/c you ARE.

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dhoney March 30 2009, 03:43:28 UTC
Woot! Originality! And I love how you go from smut to depressing in the amount of time it took you to comment. ^^

I want to force-feed Kiyoshi antidepressants

Ha! Poor, K. I don't mean to make him so emo...

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charliechaplin2 March 27 2009, 07:04:10 UTC
I think I'm going to cry. Oh my this is so heart-wrenchingly beautiful. To see Venus reduced to this, with a man she wants to hate as her only brightness...it's so *sniffle* SAD!!!

And the description of her body as the two are together...she just feels so...broken. It was- well, it wowed me.

And this:

"She hated having sex in this place where it was about one-sided pleasure. She hated telling the girls to always give and never take, being the antithesis of who she had once been. She hated being reduced to a strong woman by their standards, when she had already proven herself worthier than any of the beings she had met."

I don't think you could have made it any more perfect. It's like you take the fic and filter it until all that's left is the pure angsty core.

This one is going in the memories. It's so SAD!!!!!

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dhoney March 28 2009, 03:51:50 UTC
You know, I was actually thinking of one of your post-SilMil battle fics where the Moon Kingdom falls & the senshi end up dead, & I thought, "If they're beaten, why do they have to die?"

So, really it's your fault that you're so depressed. When you think about it logically anyway,..

And the parts that you mention are parts that I had to revise several times before I was happy with them, so I'm glad they wow-ed you.

She is broken. She's lost her love, her friends, her warrior-self. She's still a leader, but only of a lost people. She knows she's giving them hope, but at the same time, she can't help but wait until they don't need her anymore, which she knows will be never... She's all they have, and there is simply nothing left for her.

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charliechaplin2 March 29 2009, 17:36:12 UTC
Well, this is one of those rare cases that I'm actually glad to feel so depressed ^_^, even if it is self-induced.

I re-read it and all those emotions have rushed back. This is so incredible, I love how HUMAN Kunz is, he's not evil, but he is a bit of a jerk. You can just tell what a hard man he is, his pity for Venus stems not from a compasionate nature but from his love and repect for her only.

This is so sad and brilliant. Poor V.

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dhoney March 30 2009, 03:47:40 UTC
You know what I love about your comments, CC? You have a way of just accurately summarizing the point & pinpointing all the important stuff. You should be a professional reviewer.

It's absolutely about how he's a jerk, but it's not simply because of a jerky nature: it's circumstance and how else is he supposed to come off to her in the situation she's in that she'd accept him?

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sugarcross March 27 2009, 07:58:32 UTC
Oh my ... what happened that she had to live like this? This is a very beautifully written piece. Tragic, but undeniably beautiful. It hurts to see them in so much pain and not knowing what had befallen them in the first place.

Will you expand this, please?

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dhoney March 28 2009, 03:53:34 UTC
The Moon Kingdom fell, but the senshi remained alive. They have their powers stripped, so they lost a huge chunk of who they are.

I'm glad you enjoyed it so much, but I'll be honest & say that I'm not sure there will be expansion... I'm terrible with multi-parters... Sorry? ^^;

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sugarcross March 28 2009, 12:15:53 UTC
It's okay. This one can stand alone as a lovely though tragic one-parter by itself.

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sea_thoughts March 28 2009, 19:10:19 UTC
Well, it IS smut, just not happy smut. And smut doesn't have to be happy or even romantic. It just is. *end of philosophical statement* And if ever there were a couple to have angsty smut, these two are that couple. The fact that she doesn't want to enjoy the sex with him and yet she does... so Minako. I want to know more about this world.

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dhoney March 30 2009, 03:45:15 UTC
Good point. I did want there to be more smut, but the angst factor seems to have equaled everything out.

I agree with you there - they scream angsty smut, R/J are right behind them.

I want to know more too! ^^;

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sea_thoughts March 30 2009, 18:24:53 UTC
Yeah, Rei and Jadeite are right behind them. Maybe even equal, what with Rei's trust issues and Jadeite's sneakiness. Minako and Kunzite are always truthful with each other when it comes to the crunch. Rei and Jadeite... I'm not so sure.

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