Impossible Crush

[dgriswold]

I'm in a weird situation where I actually find myself with a big crush on somebody I don't think I have any feasible way of getting a date with. See, I'm pretty big in this fandom, for the musical Spring Awakening.Problem is, I find myself really interested in one of the actresses in the show (not a major character, just one of the ensemble members

Comments

[spectralbovine]

Hm. This is a sticky situation indeed.

Would it be possible to have a regular meeting? Like, after one of your brief meetings outside the stage door, see if she wants to grab a drink and talk about the show or something? So you can make it clear you're a fan of the show, not just her? And then go from there? I don't know. I wouldn't want you to miss out on someone who could make you happy.

[dgriswold]

Es possible, peorhaps. Of course, it doesn't help that the schedules of a school teacher and a broadway actress are completely different, so the post-show times she's most likely to be interested in hanging out are also the post-show times I really couldn't do it myself.

Plus, I really don't know if I could bring myself to ask. My fan behavior has always been defined so rigidly as "they entertain, and I appreciate it, but I leave them alone" that I didn't even talk to any of the cast until the 3rd time I visited the stage door, and only a few of them then. Even as I analyze it logically and think "this could work" I know I'd never be able to say "So, how about a drink?" to her. The "fan" wall is there for me, too.

[the_partyman]

'tis a tricky one, to be sure.. :/

*ponders*

I'm wondering if the best way to get around the obstacle of you having put yourself firmly in the space of "Big Spring Awakening Fan" is to maybe tackle it head on, and try and use it your advantage?

I am thinking in terms of: "Ya know, I am starting to wish I was not such a *Big Spring Awakening Fan*, and had not seen the show 7 ['cause you'll need to go again, right? ;) ] times, because now I worry that if I were to ask you out for a Coffee/Dinner, that you might wrongly assume it was because I am a Big Fan of The Show... wheras the truth is I have simply met a really nice Girl that I would like to get to know a little better."

Or something. :/

[mearagrrl]

Hmm. That IS tricky. Not sure there's a good way, cause yeah, that could sound creepy or whatever really easily, even though WE know you're awesome.

[thelaundromat]

Try talking to her for long enough after the show and casually go, hey I'm hungry/thirsty/need coffee mind if we walk across the street? That kinda turns it from a fan/actor situation into a two people eating situation.
But this is clearly not an area you want to take my advice on. Ever.

[kyshantry]

So I think the key here is to just treat her like a normal, real person. If she's in the ensemble, it's not unlikely that she sees it as a job - I dated a girl from the ensemble of Wicked for a while, and that was how she saw it. That said, she was exhausted after each show, and thus I'm not sure how amenable she would have been to having been asked out then.

And I guess it's one of those things where what do you really have to lose? Certainly go about it with minimal fandom, and also play it down on the first couple of dates assuming you get one. But just something to the effect of "Hey, you seem cool - can I buy you coffee sometime?" seems like it would fly reasonably well?

g