I loved the hushed, creepy atmosphere of this, and the way the bell called Lulu. Road's interaction with Lulu was great, too...Road is so cute and evil. <3
One suggestion--for the first couple paragraphs, I thought I was reading about Road. You might want to mention Lulu's name in the beginning, so it's clear who the POV character is.
The fic is lovely, though--I enjoy a good Noah origin story.
Actually, that was my intention. XD I didn't want to mention Lulu's name until Road said it. I hope it's not too confusing, though. Thanks for the advice! ^__^
Yeah, me too. I'm working on a more serious Noah origin story right now, but I just had to get this one out of my head. Plotbunnies won't leave me alone... orz.
In ages long past, I forgot to reply to your reply. I do so now.
I notice you mention Lulu's long hair in there before the name, so that should be enough to tell me that it wasn't Rhode.
It makes me happy that there's a Lulu origin story. I've encountered a good Skinn origin story too, so now all the earliest Noahs have them...Are you still working on that other fic you mentioned, btw?
Yeah, I'm quirky like that. XD It's like I really don't want to give the character away, so I put all these little hints to see if people notice. But you were right; It may have seem obvious to me that it was, well, Lulu, but you had to read the fic twice to fully get it. I'm certain that most people who read this fic surely didn't get it at the beginning. I should work on that... writing for other people to get it, I mean
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Comments 5
One suggestion--for the first couple paragraphs, I thought I was reading about Road. You might want to mention Lulu's name in the beginning, so it's clear who the POV character is.
The fic is lovely, though--I enjoy a good Noah origin story.
Reply
Actually, that was my intention. XD I didn't want to mention Lulu's name until Road said it. I hope it's not too confusing, though. Thanks for the advice! ^__^
Yeah, me too. I'm working on a more serious Noah origin story right now, but I just had to get this one out of my head. Plotbunnies won't leave me alone... orz.
Reply
I notice you mention Lulu's long hair in there before the name, so that should be enough to tell me that it wasn't Rhode.
It makes me happy that there's a Lulu origin story. I've encountered a good Skinn origin story too, so now all the earliest Noahs have them...Are you still working on that other fic you mentioned, btw?
Reply
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