[Cue Jaws theme. Well, no, not really literally. But perhaps a bit figuratively. There has been something a bit off today. And a bit off in the funny farm known as the Dressing Room never bodes well does it? No, no of course not. But you'll have the feeling of being watched. Turn to catch the source and -ah, no, just a potted plant in that
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[...... ignore that he's currently toting a pillow under his arm.]
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Busy? Busy with what? If it's just a nap, then certainly you could spare a minute or two for a lowly newcomer charged with a nearly impossible task before wandering on your merry way.
If you're off to have an illicit affair with Cross then I just need your signature right here. [WHY does he even have it turned to that specific section of his census laundry list thing? Shhhhh. It's a secret.] And then you can be on your merry way.
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Has anyone ever told you that you talk too fast?
Give Tyki a moment of blinking before honoring that with an answer.]
You're quite a nosy thing. [Sigh and bother. Now he's going to be stuck here with you, he can feel it.] How unfortunate for you, as I am not on my way to have an illicit affair with the Good General. Dead men aren't my type.
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Sure you can afford to be that picky?
[But ANYWAY, he was a man on a mission. This was no time to snark! They could make digs at each other later!]
Well if you don't want me to be nosy, you could just look through these few [hundred] pages and sign any and all that are applicable to you. I want to have this done before afternoon tea. Can't miss that.
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Depends on what ya want with it.
[People to go, places to see, things to record, and all.]
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[Though he is a bit miffed that he wasn't able to sneak up on the other Lavi. How the heck did he fail that saving throw? He had put all his talent points in sneaking. ... Except for those he put in being a bother anyway.]
Just a quick survey. You see this thing just fell from the sky and-
[And- and... oh fudgesicles. This Lavi has the whole golden eye thing, too. Was turning into a Noah in fashion or something? Ugh. Lavi couldn't wait until that fad passed.]
Uh, you should really check the water supply. There's a lot of people with vitamin deficiencies wandering around.
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Young grasshopper, you obviously must get better at becoming your surroundings if you ever have any intention of sneaking up on this one. For as silent and sneaky as you may think you're being, you still echo in the ears of a vampire.]
'nother one? [Lies. There never was a first one to begin with -- or, if there was, he hadn't known about it -- and that's highly doubtful, being a Bookman and all.] Thought I did that last Friday, yeah?
[No matter how brief the stall was, the gold-eye Lavi seems to catch the slight hesitance. He smirks and leans in a little closer, fixing the other right in the center of his vision in the visible eye.
Teasing, really.]
Vitamin deficiencies?
[Though, his tone indicates he knows exactly what the other is talking about.]
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What do you want.
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I want many things, Yu. But if you aren't feeling particularly generous I'll just ask for your autograph.
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For? [He knows your games, you can't get him to cooperate without a little more information.]
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For this!
[Oh are we pillow fighting now? How sweet. But Lavi is busy, dear. He'll have to indulge you later. Which means that this giant list of doom is going to end up being dropped on Kanda (hopefully before he gets his footing again).]
I've been nominated as the Dressing Room's errand boy. Only a few thousand more signatures before I get that trip to my own tropical island. [And sipping pina coladas on the beach. Ah yeah!]
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E-Eh?!
Lavi!?
[...he wish he could tell if it was one he had met or not yet, he still has to learn how to do that ]
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Now that I have your undivided attention--! [Aaaaand out comes the giant laundry list of doom and papercuts. Flip. Flip. Flippity flip flip. What could this Allen's special characteristic be? Could it be:
___ Allen that lives in a magical castle that ends in Disa
___ Allen that is a vegetarian
___ Allen who has a current debt is 23,916,215 (insert appropriate currency symbol here)
Or perhaps all three because Lavi is a infomodding pain in the ass.]
Could I get your autograph next to all that apply? It didn't say I had to find one Allen for each one of these things.
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[Normally he would question why Lavi was doing this and where he possibly got all this information about him. But instead, due to rule of trauma, he notices the last bullet point there and immediately goes into a panic]
The debts followed me here?! How could that be- I'm in another world!!
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[Now in this situation a normal person might feel sympathetic. Debt and Allen, that's some pretty hefty trauma right there. Unfortunately Lavi is more interested in getting this census filled out before his hair is as white as his shell shocked compadre. So ever so politely and gently trying to shove that pen into Allen's hand.]
Allen. Earth to Allen. A little focus here. I'm on a tight schedule.
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Don't mind the eyes too much. Unless you happen to miss the bit of blue in the one eye. Then by all means, feel free to freak the fuck out.]
Ah... Sure. What do you need?
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[KEYSMASHGOESHERE. Another one of you with the golden eyes and the failing the stealth check. WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE!?]
Not to be pushy or anything. We just barely met and all, but-
[Dramatic OBJECTION point to the right eye. Or erm, left from Allen's view. Let's go with the one that is two colors. Yeah-- that one.]
That eye can still be saved! I'm afraid it's a lost cause for the other one. You'll probably have to gouge it out with a spoon.
[Joking. Joking! Mostly anyway. Sob. Can we stop with the gold eyes now? Lavi is going to have nightmares.]
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He does not, however, see that sudden jab right near his eye coming, and jerks back a bit too quickly. He takes a step back to right his posture instead of straightening again, putting more space between them.]
That really wouldn't do me any good... [Pausing, before lifting a hand to tap the tip of the scar on his cheek. It's a little concerning that he can't totally tell whether or not Lavi's joking.] I can't see out of this eye anymore.. [Trailing off a bit, while his eyes drift down to Lavi's sides. Trying to find where he knows most Lavis keep their Innocence.
When he's sure he has it spotted, he looks back up at Lavi.] Did you still want something? That 'trivial favor'?
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[Ohmai! Those are sure some wandering eyes. Makes one wonder if Lavi has ulterior motives for placing his Innocence so high on his hip. But forbidden fruit or not, that's not place to be looking on a first date meeting, young man. Your dead mother would be shaking her head somewhere from the afterlife.]
See something you like, Allen?
[Okay, okay. Maybe play can come after work this one time. Just. this. once.]
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