Probably Not Going To Balticon
I'd like to go to Balticon: it's a "gathering of my tribe", it's close-ish to my home (well, not really close, since I'm all the way down on the south side of the city), going to Balticon is a normal aspect of my calendar, and there are going to be folks there I don't get to see often ... (and it sounds like it should be a good convention programming-wise) ...
But I haven't budgeted for it or made crash space arrangements, I haven't been told of any gigs I'm booked for there (HCB has performed at Balticon in the past but not every year; if I got booked for anything else -- unlikely -- then somebody forgot to tell me) and after the last four weekends in a row having been marked by stressful attempts to sort out rides (suceeding three times out of the four), I'm having trouble getting my head and heart into the push to find a way to make Balticon happen for me.
So for folks expecting me there, this is a little advance notice that I probably won't be there. If an opportunity to day-trip up there falls in my lap (and I'm feeling well enough to get ready in time), I'll be happy to see a bit of the con and try to catch up with people. (One-day registration is more than I should spend, but if everything else just happens to line up, I'm inclined to splurge that little bit.) But I'm not going to try all that hard despite the fact that not getting there at all will feel a little strange. The repeated ride-hunt has just kinda worn me down, I don't have a committment to fulfill there, and thus I should probably back off, regroup, get back to working on a longer-term personal transportation solution (i.e. get my head back into the car-hunting decisions), and start gathering my energies for Conterpoint next month, for which I do have committments.
So assuming no miracles or surprises happen, sorry to anyone expecting me in Hunt Valley this weekend. And if I do get there for one afternoon somehow, well, it'll be a pleasant surprise, eh?
And yes, this entry is as much an attempt to talk myself out of angsting too much about what I'm missing and second-guessing myself as it is an explanation to others for why I probably won't be there. Maybe I'll let y'all know on Monday whether it worked.
Hey, maybe I'll get around to developing a few rolls of Tri-X this weekend like I've been meaning to for a while...